


The Pitfall

by bentnotbroken1



Series: The Trouble With Love [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blaise is a precious angel, Draco is an angsty idiot, Drama, Dramione freeform, Drunk Sex, Drunken Shenanigans, EWE, Eventual Auror!Harry, Eventual Post Hogwarts, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Frustration, Harry is Harry, Hermione is confused, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Luna is a great friend, M/M, Multi, Multi POV, Mystery, Post Deathly Hallows, Pregnancy, Romance, SMUTTY SMUT, Some Fluff, Theo is a little twat, Very Mild Ron bashing, Violence, brief romione, long fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-18
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-29 17:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 173,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bentnotbroken1/pseuds/bentnotbroken1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: "I still love Ron."<br/>His lips brushed against her ear as he breathed softly, "Then tell me to stop."</p><p>After the war Hermione thinks she has her life back on track. She can finally finish her schooling and be with the love of her life. Little does she know that fate has something else in store.</p><p>Draco has spent the summer mulling over every action he has taken that has lead his life to this point. What he finds is disgust and guilt that he just can't seem to shake; until he finds solace in the one person he never thought would listen.<br/>Bonds are tested, friendships are forged, love is found, and all the while a dark threat arises from the shadows to take on the task the Dark Lord has left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: It's Over

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I would be living on a beach somewhere drinking Pina Coladas with a sexy male model

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the war, Hermione thinks she has her life back on track. She can finally finish her schooling and be with the love of her life. Little does she know that fate has something else in mind.
> 
> Draco has spent the summer mulling over every action he has taken that has led his life to this point. What he finds is disgust and guilt that he just can't seem to shake; until he finds solace in the one person he never thought would listen.  
> Bonds are tested, friendships are forged, love is found, and all the while a dark threat arises from the shadows to take on the task the Dark Lord has left.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did I would be living on a beach somewhere drinking Pina Coladas with a sexy male model.

  
**Summer 1998**

  
There was one fact that was irrefutable, the Dark Lord had fallen. The Light had won the war, but their victory had come with a steep price. Many lives were lost that fateful night in May when the-boy-who-lived finally triumphed over evil for the last time. While those on the side of good breathed a sigh of relief, the remaining Death Eater's scattered, along with the rest of his dark army. Those with the means to do so disappeared. The unfortunate others were round-up by the few remaining Aurors and tried for their crimes against the Wizarding World.

Even though many of the Dark Lords followers were still on the run, The Order wasn’t in a position to track them down. The Ministry was in shambles and they just didn’t have the resources for that kind of manhunt. For now, they were rebuilding everything from the ground up. It would be a difficult process but the road to recovery was a long one. Kingsley Shacklebolt was named Minister of Magic, at least until things settled down.

Hogwarts was still very much in mourning. The devastation of the grounds and the school itself mimicked the somber moods of those helping rebuild it. Everyone had been affected by the war and had lost someone close to them. Some took the pain of their loss in strides, some faced it head on, and others seemed to drown themselves in one way or another, be it in work or alcohol.

It would normally be a summer holiday, but many students had chosen to stay behind to help bring their school back to its former glory. There was much to be done and too few wands to do it. In addition, many seventh years, who were supposed to have graduated, had decided to return again in the fall and repeat the year, the famous trio included. So while they all faced the darkness of the past, the students seemed to take it upon themselves to turn it around. They decided that despite the horrors they'd endured, they could celebrate their victory. And on one such occasion, Hermione Granger found herself sitting alongside one drunk, Ronald Weasley, for what seemed like the hundredth time in three months.

* * *

 

**Friday, August 21, 1998**

  
Hermione Granger didn’t care much for the fame that came with the end of the war. ‘The Golden Trio’ were the center of attention just about everywhere they went. Ron and Harry seemed to adjust well, as they had grown accustomed to their names being notorious throughout their years at Hogwarts, but Hermione could do without all the fuss. She'd much rather spend the rest of her summer quietly, getting a head start on her course work and restoring the damaged school. But by the looks of things, she wasn't going to have her way. Everywhere they turned someone was asking them questions, gaping in admiration, or giving them their condolences.

Now she knew how Harry felt all this time. She was just glad Witch Weekly and The Prophet had finally stopped running the many interviews, biographies, and rumors about them. May and June had been crazy. Not only had the camera flashes gotten old, but the Death Eater Trials were emotionally and physically grueling. She and Harry had been called to witness a few times, and they’d had to be escorted out by Aurors. She’d only felt relatively normal once she got back to Hogwarts.

Even now she was exiting the library that was her second home. She was supposed to be meeting her friends for an impromptu gathering but is was already 10 o’clock before she finally entered the room. The party was well underway and she knew Ron was probably already half gone. She decided to go check on him first. He was always the one to get a bit carried away. When she found him he was telling a group of enthusiastic fifth years about the time he opened the Chamber of Secrets.

"You di'n't believe it did you? That I could speak snake?" He asked a boy who obviously thought he was barking mad. "Well, I can."

Hermione sighed. "Come on, Ron. Don't you think you should slow down?"

He shook his head and took another gulp of Knotgrass Mead. "Jus' a few more."

"You're pissed as it is." She pleaded, taking his arm and trying unsuccessfully, to pull him out of his seat and towards the door.

"No Hermione. I'm jus' 'avin a bit of fun." He laughed, shrugging her off.

She sighed in defeat and took another look around the room. It had been a habit lately -making sure everyone was alright- that she just couldn't shake. When she found that all of her friends were accounted for she took a breath. They were all smiling, dancing, drinking, and having a time of it. This place was definitely a fitting environment for the post-war parties that tended to sprout up at a moment's notice, and mostly thanks to Seamus and Dean. Once those two got together things just seem to happen.  
They were all currently camped out in the Great Common, which was a new addition to Hogwarts. Hermione quite liked it. The warm atmosphere was inviting and all houses were welcome to spend their time there. After the war, everyone was closer than they had been before. The term House Unity had even been thrown around though most of the student body had merely given up the petty rivalries of the past. The last few years had changed what was important. It had changed everything.  
That taken into account, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and even some Slytherin were mixed into the bunch.

One specific Slytherin caught her eye as he moved from one side of the room to the other; wine glass in hand.

_Draco Malfoy._

He'd somewhat redeemed himself at the end of the war, and while his father was safely tucked away in Azkaban, he had returned to Hogwarts to help the rebuild and finish out his schooling. At first, there was a lot of controversy surrounding him and the Dark Mark. She’d originally thought Harry had been crazy to think Malfoy could be one. She didn’t think he really had it in him to be that evil. Angry, petty, and mean yes, but evil? No, she hadn’t believed it. She’d eventually been proven wrong, but even Harry confessed that the wizard hadn't wanted to be a Death Eater. He was forced to take it on by his father and sent on a suicide mission by Voldemort. So now, three months later, he was here mingling with everyone else.

Most students were still wary of him, Hermione included, but many Slytherins still worshiped the ground he walked on. She’d been surprised that he hadn’t received hostility from both sides. Surely some students in his house didn’t like that he flaked out and ultimately failed in his Death Eater status? Apparently that didn’t matter to them. It was probably due to his inheritance and pureblood status. She didn't really understand it, but she also didn't care enough to bother herself with it. If she looked at him too long she’d see textured ceilings and chandeliers. She’d see his face as they dragged them into the manor. She’d see his Aunt. She’d see a wand raised- no. She couldn’t go down that road. She had tried to forget what had happened that night and she just wanted to leave his part in the war, and hers, in the past.

"It was huge!" A voice exclaimed, bringing her back to the present. "As big as my 'ouse I'd say."

She turned and shook her head. Ron was already back to telling a story, and he was enthusiastic about it too. Dean and Luna were seated across from him. Luna was sipping on some spiked pumpkin juice, and from the way Dean was draped across the chair, she assumed he was drinking something much more toxic.  
Luna looked over at her and smiled, patting the empty seat next to her. Hermione took it and settled down for listening as Ron talked about Gringott's. The tale was going alright until Ron decided to exaggerate a few snogging sessions, which caused her face to turn bright red with embarrassment.  
Their relationship hadn't exactly blossomed as she thought it would. After Fred's death and the final battle, Ron had become a bit distant. The only time he was completely carefree was at times like these, when he had a room full of ears and a drink in his hand.

She was a bit worried about it, to be honest. But she never said too much. It wasn't up to her how he chose to grieve. She'd been an only child, so she didn't quite know how he felt. She did know, however, that his fuse had shortened considerably. He was a hothead before, but now it seemed his temperament was worse. Especially when it came to war talk. At times, he reminded her of those nights on the run, when he had the damn Horcrux around his neck.

She shuddered. She hated seeing him that way. So that's why she’d grit her teeth and let him have his drink and his fun. He deserved to be happy. They all did.  
But when the clock struck 11 and there was no end to his drinks in sight, she'd had just about as much as she could take and went to find Ginny. If anyone could tell Ron that enough was enough, it would be her. She found her in the corner of the room, accompanied by a rather giddy Harry Potter, who was in the process of trying to take off his shirt. "Harry? Are you drunk?" She asked.

He gave a startled jump by her sudden interruption but laughed. "Maybe…I dunno…."

Well, that was a surprise. Harry was never much of drinker. "Why are you taking off your shirt?"

"Someone spilled something on it," He replied like it was normal to take one's clothes off in the middle of a crowded room. Ginny grinned wildly and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, kissing his cheek. Her face was rosy and her eyes shone a little too much. Apparently all her friends were hammered.

"Well, I was going to have you help me with Ron, but seeing as how you're both…um…" They were already kissing now and one hand was snaking up her leg. "Occupied, I think I'll go."

Ginny broke the kiss and waved at her as she turned to leave. "Sorry. We'll talk later?"

Harry nodded. "Bye!"

  
She rolled her eyes. Was she the only one completely sober? Must be. Because there was still laughter all around her. She glanced to her left. Seamus was standing on top of a table dancing with a girl she recognized, but whose name she couldn't place while Neville was trying desperately to get them down. Cho Chang was playing some sort of game at a table full of sixth years, and Stewart was trying his best to fit into the crowd. She guessed he succeeded because some of last year's Quidditch team had patted him on the back a moment ago and he was now staggering toward the exit with them.

  
She felt a little out of place. She always did at these things. Why couldn't she just act like everyone else and have a good time? Throw a few back and forget that she'd just made it through a bloody war? Oh, that's right because Ron needed someone to take away the Red Currant Rum before he became belligerent. When she got back to the group she noticed two things immediately. One, Dean was passed out on Luna's lap, and two, Ron had his arms around a pretty little Ravenclaw, whispering something in her ear and his hand dangerously close to her arse. Anger surged through her like a bolt of lightning. "Ron!"

His eyes shot up to look at her. "Oh, there you are 'Mione. I wondered where you'd run off to."

She strode toward him and grabbed his arm, yanking hard enough for him to stumble up. "I think it's time to go." She huffed, dragging him toward the door.

"Who died and made you king? Just ignore him. He's drunk. She thought. Keep walking. When they were outside the room he pulled his arm out of her grip. "What are you doin?"

"Me? What am I doing?" Hermione laughed bitterly. "What are you doing?"

"Having fun. Something you wouldn't know anything about, obviously." He retorted, glaring at her.

She was slightly hurt but didn't show it. She was still far too angry about the girl he'd been cuddle up with. "Oh? You're having fun are you? Flirting with a sixth year? Well sorry for interrupting you!" She yelled, turning her back to him.

"Hermione." His voice had a slight tone to it.

"What?" She asked, turning around to look at him.

He was close now, his chest just millimeters away from hers. He moved forward backing her up into the wall. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"Well excuse me for thinking otherwise." She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. It was heated and seemed to look through her.

"You should know better," He replied, kissing her.

At first, she kissed back as his lips formed to hers, but she stopped responding when a hand began to unzip her jacket. Normally she would be all for this but something was off. It didn’t feel right. When she remained unresponsive he backed up, giving her a confused look.

"Ron, I think…I think we should leave." She pushed herself off the wall and tried to move around him, but he grabbed a hold of her shoulder.

"No. Please. Just stay. I want you."

"Ron now is not the time or the place for this discussion," She said, nervously. "I'd rather we wait until we sober up."

"I think it's the perfect place for it." He cut her off and kissed her again, violently this time. His hands groping her as he did so. He was being rough, far too rough. His tongue invading her mouth without her consent, sending her brain into overdrive. She didn't want this. This wasn't Ron. This was someone else entirely. What the hell was happening here?

"Ron, stop." She hissed.

He paused but didn't stop. Instead, he pushed her back into the wall hard, biting her neck as he did so. "Shhh, it's alright," He said, trying to placate her.

"Get off!" She urged, more loudly this time. “It’s not alright!” She hit him in the back with her fist before fumbling in her pocket for her wand. When it was free she shoved it under his chin. He let go of her and backed away, shock marring his features. "Ron. You. Are. Drunk. But that doesn't give you the right to….to just act like that!"

"You know you liked it."

She shook her head, frustrated. "No, I really didn't. I think my ‘stop’ was proof enough for that."

"Well, you liked it before.” He huffed. “Why are you acting so innocent all of the sudden?"

"Innocent? I’m not being prudish for wanting privacy to do something like that. So I’m sorry that I'm not into drunk snogging in a hallway. If you want to snog someone so badly why don't you just go back to the party and take that girl back to your room?" She regretted her words the moment they came flying out of her mouth.

His mouth contorted into an ugly frown. "That's what you want is it?"

"No I.."

"It's fine," He said, his voice calm but his face still red with anger. "Really Hermione, we aren't official are we? So I guess I can snog whoever I want."

"Ron!"

"To be honest I was actually thinking about shagging that girl in there. At first, I thought it was because of the rum, but now I'm wondering 'bout that."

She didn't want to hear this. "Wha-"

"I know how much it would bother you. Seeing me looking at other girls, but I would never want to upset you because it's you I really want, Hermione." His voice was somewhat bitter. "But you won't let me near you. Every time I try to get close you just push me away. And it drives me barmy! And while we're on that subject, it also makes me crazy that you can't seem to be satisfied unless you're bossing me around and controlling everything around you. I can't even have a few bloody drinks without you yelling at me and telling me I've had enough."

"You know how you get when you're drunk." She defended. They all knew he was fond of arguing and making an arse out of himself if he had a few too many, and if he wasn't yelling, he was talking about the war. He was talking about Fred. Which brought back the anger. It was a vicious cycle that Hermione wanted no part of. "I have to stop you."

"No! No, you don't! Because you're not my boss and you're not my mum. I can do whatever I want." He replied leaning into her. "I'm tired of your bloody nagging. I can do whatever and really, whomever I want. Since you've decided you find it so beneath yourself to be with me…I think maybe I should look somewhere else."

He turned from her and headed back toward the laughing voices. "Ron, wait!"

"Sod off! I'm too drunk to deal with your shit right now." He hissed. "Godric, sometimes you talk too bloody much."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
He looked over his shoulder, a strange glint in his eye. "How could I break up with you?" His face twisted into a mixture of pain and disgust. "How can we call what we've been doing a relationship? It's been more of a war at best. I'm always at war with you." He sighed, looking very much defeated.

“I didn’t know-“

“It doesn’t really matter. Hermione. It is what it is.” He turned his back to her. "Besides, we never made it official. I'd hardly call a few snogs worthy of the title." He retorted over his shoulder, and then he was gone, leaving her alone in the hall with her heart beating loudly in her chest.

Did that really just happen? Did he really just say they weren't together? That their relationship was a war? How could he say that! A war? They'd had a few good rows, but she wouldn't go so far as to say they were at that level. He was drunk, she told herself. He didn't mean it. Tomorrow it would be ok. He would realize he loved her and all of this would just have been a bad dream.  
His angry face flashed in her mind. But if he really did love her, why had he looked at her with such disdain? Was he really going back to the party and leave her here? He'd come back. He had always come back.

She waited a few minutes before she allowed the reality to settle in.

He wasn't coming back.

Just like the war, it was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first Harry Potter fic I've written. So please take that into account if I screw up somewhere along the line. I'm also from America so my writing may not be accurate according to UK English, but I did try hard to keep them in character. But if I screw up to badly please let me know. Thanks for reading the first chapter. :) I hope you liked it.
> 
> Note: This fic has been revised and updated!


	2. Let's call a Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Hermione decide a truce is in order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to take a moment and say that this fic will probably be a long one. So don't expect a quick, happy ending where everyone gets along. Because it's highly unlikely. That being said, I hope you continue to enjoy the story as much as I am enjoying writing it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding Harry Potter. If I did then there would have been more books after Deathly Hallows.

There were plenty of things Draco Malfoy hated in life, but drinking wasn't one of them. Truth be told, he had spent much of his summer, drunk or hungover. There was no in between. He reassured himself that it was fine. He was only here to help rebuild and make sure people knew he was reformed, not that anyone believed that. Might as well throw back a few more for good measure. He still had some time before the term started, so why not? He just hoped that eventually all his mistakes would be nothing but a terrible memory. He hoped that someday soon he wouldn’t have to drink himself to sleep to keep the nightmares at bay. Wasn’t that a nice thought?

So far he’d stayed away from most students, not wanting to deal with their disapproval of him being here. His own house wasn’t that much more friendly towards him. The war had certainly changed things, but Draco had been changed long before then. The war itself _had_ taken a toll, but what transpired during from his fifth year up until now had turned him into someone he didn't recognize, someone he despised. Those close to him had tried not to acknowledge his change in demeanor. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew what they thought of him, but he couldn’t be bothered enough to care.

Most of his "friends" would never understand anyway, and he doubted they'd even want to try. Like him, they too had been a bit excited by the aspect of war and some had fought and died in the battle at Hogwarts but none of them had experienced what he had. Not one of them could understand the monsters lurking somewhere in the back of his mind. The only one who he’d even consider being close with now was Blaise Zabini, and that’s because he didn’t choose a side during the war. He knew the Zabini’s had leaned more towards the light at the end, but they’d played it safe and didn’t get involved. Despite this fact, Draco couldn’t allow himself to tell his dorm mate what he really thought or what he was feeling inside. Malfoy's never fully trusted anyone. Friends could hurt you. Friends could find your weaknesses and exploit them. So he would never let them know that it was all he could do to stop himself from jumping out of his skin anytime he heard someone scream, out of joy or otherwise.

He'd never mention the fact that when he closed his eyes at night all he could see were faces; dirty, bloody faces belonging to wizards and muggles alike. Their hands dark with grime, clinging to tattered rags that covered the bodies that were much too thin, much too frail. He could hear their pained screams, loud and shrill in his ears. At times, he thought he was going mad. Part of him thought he already had. He was finally being punished for his involvement in the Dark Arts. He wouldn't dare pity himself, though. He knew it was every bit of what he deserved, if not falling short. He'd done so many vile things that he knew he was lucky to be sitting here in this warm room filled to the brim with his drunken classmates.

He was _here_. He was _alive_ and free. But that fact did nothing to soothe his pessimistic mind. He wished he could just forget it all ever happened; hence the drink in his hand. He looked around the room at all the smiling faces. It was unnerving really; He could see the happiness around him. All the houses were mixed together now. He laughed inwardly at the irony of it all. The old Draco wouldn't have been caught _dead_ partying it up with a bunch of sodding Gryffindor's. The old him would have scoffed and made their inferiority known to them.

It was shocking how his life had gotten so far off course the last two years. He had no idea how he was going to find his way back, or if he even _wanted_ to go back for that matter. That life, the life he’d had before had lost all its appeal. He couldn’t even bring himself to be happy about gaining control of his father's shares in his company. It seemed that the self-intitled prat of the past was no longer there and good riddance to him. He didn’t know what he would even _do_ after this. He’d probably still be stuck running Malfoy Enterprises, unable to escape his _duty._ He shuddered at the thought. There would probably be a wedding and an heir on the way within five years. Perhaps that was another reason for his sour mood and need to lose himself in things like parties, alcohol, and a few good shag sessions. Even the novelty of harassing the _Golden Ttrio_ had worn off.

Potter and his friends still annoyed the hell out of him, there was no doubt about that, but he couldn't say he loathed them as much as he used to. If he were to be asked when the precise moment he'd come to this conclusion had been, it would have to have been when they were captured and held captive in his home. In those few moments, all the prejudice and petty rivalry he held for Potter in the past just didn't seem to matter. It hadn't taken him long to make a decision. He couldn't stomach the thought of Potter getting killed and the Dark Lord winning, so he had lied when his aunt asked if it was him. It was also a few minutes later in which he realized how much he didn't want to hear the _mudblood_ scream in torment or watch her bleed out on his drawing room floor. Her screams were always the loudest in his dreams.

Up until the year before she'd been a subject of his ridicule. But to be honest, his treatment of her was much less about her _blood_ and more about her ability to make him look as ignorant as Weasley. She always had a quick retort to his taunts and her intelligence made him incredibly jealous at times. He was no fool. He'd gotten a few O's on his OWL's and was in the top ten of their year, but she still managed to make him feel inferior. His father would also never let him forget that Potter’s friend bested him. For as long as he could remember he was taught that her blood was little more than dirt compared to his, so her showing him up at every turn had fueled the fire. It was the main reason why he had hated her. What he had failed to realize back then, was how much it didn't matter, how much _none_ of it mattered. Her blood was just as red as his. While his thoughts about her had already begun to change over time, his perception of the muggle-born witch had ultimately changed that night, though he wouldn't be so quick to say so. It had thrown him off base and he’d almost, _almost_ , interfered. In the end, he’d been too much of a coward and stood by helplessly.

Speaking of _Granger._

He caught sight of her as she stood up from her spot next to Looney Lovegood and made a bee-line towards the corner. She must have had some business with Potter. Too bad she didn't know how drunk the bloke was. Scarhead hadn't so much as made a snide remark when Draco had bumped into him earlier, spilling his drink all over his shirt. Potter had just laughed and said he'd just have to take it off, before grabbing Ginny Weasley and snogging the hell out of her right in front of him. Draco was genuinely shocked but had an amused grin on his face as he walked away from them.

"-aco?"

Someone was talking to him, but he didn't really want to listen. He looked down at the glass in his hand. It was empty. Had he already drank it all?

"Draco!" The voice demanded his attention again. He grudgingly looked over to see Pansy glaring at him."Are you even listening to me?"

"To be honest, no," He replied, setting his glass on the table next to him.

She grumbled something that sounded like, "Wanker." and took a drink from her own glass. Well, that was that. Maybe she’d have to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't interested in what she had to say at the moment. In fact, the _only_ time he was interested in _anything_ she had to say, was when she was riding him and talking dirty in his ear.

Hmm. That was a nice, though. Perhaps he should suggest-

"Why are we even here?" It was Gregory Goyle who spoke, breaking him out of his lewd thoughts. He was looking around the room and shifting uncomfortably in his chair; his hands wringing in his lap.

Draco rolled his eyes. He'd already explained it a thousand times before. "We are _here_ to help with the rebuild. We have to make ourselves look good to the Ministry-."

"No, I understand _that_ ," He replied, looking rather put off, "I mean, why are we _here,_ with all the bloody Gryffindor's?"

He had no real good answer to that. He hadn't given the other houses much thought lately. He'd been too busy trying to keep his name from sinking into the lagoon. "Free alcohol?" He shrugged.

Theodore Nott smirked from his position next to Pansy.

"So we're here so _you_ can _drink_?" Blaise asked, rubbing his temple.

"Yeah, I'd say that pretty much sums it up."

The rest of the group thought it wasn't a bad reason to be there, and were quite enjoying themselves, but Blaise was eying him intently. Leave it to Zabini to notice the subtleties. "Don't you think you're partying a little _too_ much lately, Draco?" He asked quietly when the blonde snatched an unopened bottle of Firewhiskey from an unsuspecting passerby.

"There's no such thing."

The kid had noticed his theft and yelled, "Hey, that's mine!"

"Not anymore," He replied standing up and giving the grumbling sixth year a scowl so cross that he left without hesitation. He turned his head back to his fellow housemates. "Excuse me, but I'm going out for a bit."

"Try to make it back to the room alive if you can," Blaise called after him.

He ignored him and headed out the door. Again, no one would understand his need for a distraction, not even Blaise. But that was fine. He didn't need them to. He could handle things by himself. In fact, he much preferred to be alone. That way no one was there to witness his disgrace.

He wasn't quite tipsy _yet_ , but he had all night for that. He went to the bathroom and was contemplating going back to his room when he heard someone yelling. He recognized the voice immediately.

"Oh? You're having fun are you? Flirting with a sixth year? Well sorry for interrupting you!"

 _Granger_? He headed down the hall towards her voice. She was having a good row with Weasel by the sound of things.

"I didn't mean anything by it." Weasel was saying. He had to have been three sheets to the wind by the way he sounded.

"Well excuse me for thinking otherwise."

He was almost on them now. He stopped behind a pillar and watched them. It wasn't every day that the bookworm and the red headed git got into it and he wanted to see where it went, but then Weasley had proceeded to shove her into the wall and kiss her.

On second thought, no he most certainly did _not_ want to see this. He wasn’t that desperate.

He was about to turn around and go about his business when he heard her cry out, "Ron, stop!"

Draco was surprised when the boy didn't. Then he watched as he slammed her harder into the wall.

"Get off!" She shrieked.

Even though her protests weren't loud, the sound of them made his stomach knot up. How many nights had those screams plagued him? He never wanted to hear them again if he could help it.

What on earth was Weasley doing?

He almost stepped out of the shadows, not to interfere, only to stop the bloody shrieking, but he halted when he saw her wand was shoved in the red heads face. He'd almost forgotten that she was a witch not to be trifled with.

"Ron. You. Are. Drunk. But that doesn't give you the right to just- just act like that."

"You know you liked it."

Now that didn’t sound like the Weasel he knew. Whiny, yes, but not pushy. Especially not to Granger. A sick feeling washed over him as he stood there. He told himself that he was listening to their conversation just to get some dirt to blackmail them with later, but he had the sinking suspicion that it had nothing to do with making them suffer. It was the witch that kept him rooted to his spot. It was her voice and the pained look on her face. He couldn't make his legs move. So he remained where he was, hidden from sight like a bloody stalker.

She sounded desperate as she stood there. "You know how you get when you're drunk, Ron! I have to stop you."

"No! No, you don't! Because you're not my boss and you're not my mum. I can do whatever I want." Ron replied leaning into her. "I'm tired of your bloody nagging. I can do whatever and _whomever_ I want. And since you find it _so_ beneath yourself to be with me…I think I'll look elsewhere."

Draco blinked in confusion. Had he really just heard that right? The Weasel was breaking it off?

"Ron, wait!"

"Sod off! I'm too drunk to deal with your shit right now." He spat. "Godric, sometimes you talk too bloody much."

She asked him something that Draco couldn't hear but the Weasel's response sounded like thunder down the empty hall. "How could I _break up_ with you? How can we call what we've been doing a relationship? It's been more of a war, at best. I'm always at war with you." He sighed, as if in defeat. "And we never made it official. I'd hardly call a few snogs worthy of the title."

Well, that was a low blow, even coming from him.

Draco found himself staring in disbelief as she watched Ron retreat down the hall. He glanced over at the girl left standing there, her shoulders shaking as she shoved her wand in her pocket. If she was crying he couldn't hear her, thank Salzar. He didn't know why he cared if she was crying or not, but he seemed to be becoming angry with Weasley for something other than being a blood-traitor. He tried to ignore the fact that he could possibly be irritated because Weasley had just left Granger alone in a deserted corridor to cry. Was he that daft? There were drunk fools running amuck. Himself included.

* * *

 

Hermione slid to the floor, clutching her head in her hands. She was better than this. She was more than her emotions. Hadn’t she already proven that a thousand times over? This shouldn’t have her on the brink of a breakdown, yet there she was, wallowing in self-pity and doubt like a child. She tried to push the feelings away as she thought things through. There had to be an explaination, a reason. Why else had it turned out like this?

She and Ron were supposed to be happy now. They were war heroes for _Godric's_ sake! Don’t the heroes always get happy endings? Maybe that was part of the problem. Being a hero, and all the fame, it had to be going to his head. His personality had slightly changed, not to mention the bouts of anger he was prone to now. He thought she didn't know. He thought she didn't see the look on his face as he killed those Death Eaters that night. But she _had_ seen. She'd seen the pure enjoyment of taking life. She didn't _like_ it, but it didn't stop her from loving him. Desperate times call for desperate measures. So she let it go. He had every right to be angry and take revenge.

She loved him, loved him so much. It was part of the reason why she bossed him around and fretted over him. She thought he'd understand why she did it -she didn't want to lose him- but obviously he didn't. She thought he loved her, but he barely paid her any attention anymore, except when he wanted something. Maybe she should have tried harder. Perhaps she should have spent less time worrying about how late he'd stayed out and more time focusing on their relationship. Even if this was just a drunken show, the thought of him not wanting her any more hurt. It hurt like hell.

She couldn't stop the tears from falling any more than she could stop herself from loving him. She was tired. Tired of putting on the fake smile, tired of spending her nights alone, tired of worrying about Ron's temperament, tired of being strong, tired of being the golden trio's genius, tired of lying to herself and tired of pretending it was all ok. She was just exhausted…so she let herself cry for a moment. She needed it.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear footsteps coming closer until they were right on her. She felt an arm brush against hers as someone slid to the floor next to her. She expected it was Harry, Ginny, or even Luna, coming to see if she was alright. What she hadn't expected was a soft, husky voice sigh, "You look so ugly when you cry, Granger"

Her eyes snapped open and she frowned. Great. Just great. She already felt like a failure for crying in the hallway. It irked her, even more, to know _he_ 'd seen her cry. " _Malfoy_. What do _you_ want?" She asked, anger in her voice and her muscles ready to jump up if she had too.

"Oh come off it, Granger." He laughed bitterly. "I'm not going to hurt you."

She wiped her face with the back of her sleeve and stood up, not trusting the man next to her. "Then why _are_ you here?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I heard your row with Weasel."

"Don't call him tha-" She began but he continued, standing up.

"And since Potter was too busy snogging said Weasel's sister to notice your absence, I decided to see if you were alright."

"Like I'd believe a word you say," She replied, reaching into her jacket for her wand.

He noticed her action and rolled his eyes. "Really? If I wanted to hurt you, don’t you think I'd 'ave helped my dear Auntie Bellatrix back at the Manor?" Hermione drew in a breath at the mention of the witch's name. "Besides, I don't even have my wand on me." He proved his point by spinning around in a circle to show her.

"Like that matters!" she hissed. She knew bloody well that he could use magic without his wand.

He sighed and crossed his arms. "I don't have ill intentions if that’s what you’re thinking. I know I don't have the best standing record with you, but I figured you looked nearly as miserable as me. Besides, I certainly think you could match me in wandless magic." He smirked, "Maybe."

"I…I don't understand…if you aren't here to humiliate me…then why?"

He reached down where they had been sitting and showed her the bottle of Firewhiskey. "I was just wondering if you wanted to call a truce for the night? Hash out our differences over a drink?" He flashed her a smile. "After that show, it looks like you bloody need it."

She raised a suspicious eyebrow in response.

"For the love of Circe, I'm not a wolf waiting to gobble you up." He spat, already growing weary by the look he was giving her.

Her brown eyes narrowed. "No, a former Death Eater is far worse than that."

His mouth fell open but then he nodded solemnly in agreement. "Alright. I deserved that remark."

"Ha, I've got plenty more where that came from."

She was wearing on his patience; she could tell. "Listen, I'm not up to anything and I'm not trying to trick you. We're both adults here. And we both know where we stand. You hate me, I hate you and that's fine, but we don't have to act on it all the time. It's rather boring don't you think?" He asked.

She remained silent. He sighed in defeat, "I just thought you'd like some company. It's not bad to have fun every once in a while Granger." He offered her the bottle. "And by the look you're giving me, you need it."

She looked at the bottle in his hand and then back up at his face. Her mind was screaming at her to get away from him. But something in her gut told her to listen to him. Despite what he'd said about hating her, his silver eyes held no malice as they had in all the years before. Images of him the night at the manor flashed through her mind. He'd looked at her with guilt in his eyes. Maybe he was telling the truth and he wanted to put their differences aside, if only for tonight.

Slowly she reached out and grabbed the peace offering he was giving her. She glanced back to the party where she knew her friends were laughing merrily and where she knew Ron was probably already snogging the hell out of someone. The thought irritated her and she untwisted the cap taking a gulp and letting the inferno slide down into her stomach, instantly heating it up. She coughed but took another swig before handing it back to him. "Ick, how do you drink that stuff, Malfoy?"

He chuckled. "It wasn't that bad was it?"

She could already feel the burning effects in her stomach. She now understood why people said it would give you courage. She was already feeling more daring. "Not as bad as I imagined, but I still prefer Daisyroot Draught," She replied, trying to adjust to the taste in her mouth.

He shook his head and tsk'd. "Pathetic, Granger."

In an act of defiance, she snatched the bottle out of his hand and took a big swig, not choking this time. "How's _that_?"

"A little better. But you have a long way to go if you're going to keep up with me." He gave her a wink, "You _are_ going to try aren't you?"

She still didn't know what he was getting at as she handed him the bottle and gave a curious look. But right now all she wanted, was to do something that would keep her mind off Ron. And while getting wasted with Malfoy would probably be a bad idea, she found herself agreeing to do just that. "I'll take up your offer, Malfoy but I still don't know if I trust you."

"I'm not asking to be your bloody friend, Granger," He replied, raising the bottle to his lips and taking a drink before offering it back to her. "It's just a drink."

She took it and nodded. "Let's keep it that way."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been revised as of 3/19/16


	3. You're not a Monster.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're not a monster Draco." She told him, and then she did something she never thought in a million years she would do. She was running on complete impulse now as she leaned up on her toes and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Here, there be smut.  
> Read at your own risk.  
> Disclaimer: Do I look like I own the most popular book series of all time? No? That's what I thought. Moving on. :)

****

Laughter could be heard on the moving staircase as two pairs of legs staggered up them. Granger had the bottle of fire whiskey in one hand and clung to his dress shirt with the other. As they continued their ascent he kept one arm firmly around her waist as the other clutched the railing, trying to keep them both from toppling over.

"Di' you see 'is face Malfoy? Did you see it!?" She asked merrily, at the expense of one miffed Peeves who had had been an unfortunate victim of a drunken prank.

"Yeah. I did. Gave'em a taste of 'is own medicine." Draco chuckled, his arm never leaving from around her. He'd found out three floors ago that she was no longer capable of walking very far on her own. She'd demonstrated this by falling on her arse in the bathroom. He'd rushed in when he'd heard a splash and couldn't stop laughing when he saw she'd fallen into the bath. He helped her get out, laughing and soaking both of them in the process. He was just glad Moaning Myrtle was nowhere to be found. "You come up with the best pranks, Granger."

"Well, they don’t call me the brightest witch of our age for nothing." She insisted, throwing her head back and swaying almost to the point of falling over.

He smirked and pulled her back into him. "Conceited much?"

She shook her head. "Oh shut it, Malfoy."

"Are you always so bossy?" He asked, stopping for a moment to wait for the staircase to connect to their next point.

"Are you always so-" Her words were cut off as she lost her footing and almost fell off the top of the stairs.

He yanked her arm back quickly, pulling her into his chest. "Watch out you clutz! That’s a long way and you’re not invincible, you know."

"Really, Malfoy, you're always so serious." She looked up at his face, which was frowning, and poked the crease it made on his forehead. "I bet you even scowl in your sleep.” He snorted at that as she continued, “You should try to smile more. You'll get wrinkles."

He swatted her hand away. " _You_ should learn how to _walk_. Or next time I'll just let you plummet to your death"

She gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"I would." He insisted in jest.

"A prat as always.” She said with a shake of her head as they began climbing another set of stairs.

"Better a prat than the golden boy’s walking essay dispenser." Yes, he knew very well that she’d helped Potter and Weasely. There was no way in hell the redhead could have gotten some of those marks.

"Touche." She looked over at him, her eyes big and innocent. "I still think you look better when you smile, though. You look nicer somehow."

He was rendered speechless as they continued towards her dorm. They heard Peeves wailing somewhere down the stairs and they both glanced at each other, laughter erupting between them.

“Can we take a rest?” She choked between breaths.

He nodded and when they reached the seventh-floor landing they left the staircase and slumped down against a nearby wall, Hermione discarding her jacket and Draco tossing it aside. She was still laughing and he couldn’t stop smiling. He'd never seen Granger like this. She'd never laughed this hard near him. Shit, _he'd_ never laughed this hard _period_. He was glad he didn't go back to his room to get loaded by himself.

She wiped the tears of mirth from her eyes and inhaled deeply, leaning her head on his shoulder. He found that he didn't really mind. "Thanks, Malfoy. I haven't had this much fun in a _long_ time, if you can believe that."

"I've never really had this much fun," Draco admitted, prying the bottle from her hand and taking another swig. Three-quarters of the way gone. He could already tell it was doing its job. He was a bit intoxicated, and she most certainly was, but he didn’t want to leave quite yet. He was enjoying his present company, despite their former animosity.

Hermione looked up at him, her face doubtful. "Truly?"

He nodded. "Truly."

A brow raised, she inquired,"I thought you were the _biggest_ party animal in Slytherin?"

He laughed dryly. "Yes, well, it seems my reputation proceeds me, but I hate to inform you that most of those stories are quite exaggerated."

“Really? So you _didn’t_ get drunk the night of the Yule Ball and ask Tracy Davis and Pansy Parkinson to join you in a threesome?”

His mouth popped open in shock. “Who the hell was saying that?!” He looked genuinely embarrassed and Hermione laughed.

“That really didn’t answer my question, Malfoy.”

His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Alright, Granger. I’ll sate your damn curiosity.” She leaned closer, a grin on her face as she urged him on. “No, I did _not_ ask Tracy Davis and Pansy Parkinson for a threesome.” He noted that she looked almost disappointed by the admittance. “It was Pansy and Millicent Bulstrode,” he added quietly, looking skyward.

She obviously couldn’t contain her glee, because as soon as the words left his mouth she broke out laughing again. “You’re joking!”

“I wish I was.” He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Did they _agree_?”

“What!? No! We were thirteen or fourteen for Merlin’s sake. And I don’t think Milly even _knew_ what I was asking to begin with.” He shook his head. “But look, I was a randy boy with a couple of stolen bottles of my father's finest wine and pretty girls in dresses surrounding me. I’m surprised I didn’t do anything _more_ embarrassing.”

“How did you even manage to get away with being sloshed? I thought McGonagall was going to have a fit when she caught the twins with a flask.”

“Honestly, I have no idea. A lot was going on at the time.”

“Hmmm, yes. You’re certainly right about that. That night didn’t end much better for me either.

“I thought you had that _heartthrob_ Krum at your disposal?”

She sighed dramatically. “Don’t even get me started on Victor. I thought I was going to strangle Ron.”

“Are you always this violent? Who knew!” He teased. “Though with friends like Weasley it would be hard not to.”

“He’s not that bad.” She replied, defending her friend. “Not like yours are any better.”

“Well, I can’t say that your wrong. A few _are_ quite lacking in the intelligence department.”

“Who, your bodyguards?”

He laughed. “Bodyguards? You mean Greg and Vincent,” his mouth fell a bit with the thought of his deceased friend. “They weren’t really my bodyguards, but I suppose they qualify as henchmen of sorts.”

“How did you even become friends? Do all the pureblood families get together for playdates or what?”

“I should have known you’d have no filter. You do love asking questions. “He passed the bottle to her.

“I’m just curious. I’ve always been the inquisitive type.” She took a swig. "A'right then, fine. You can ask me anything," she said handing it back to him. “I promise to answer honestly, and then it’s my turn.”

“Oh, twenty questions, my favorite!” He grinned. “Is it the X-rated version?”

She smacked him on the arm, affronted. “Come on, don’t make it dirty.”

His grin seemed to only widen.“But it’s so much more entertaining. Watching you get flustered brings me such joy.”

She cut her eyes at him and he yielded. "Ok, fine. We’ll be _boring_. Favorite food?"

She raised one brow in response.

“What, it’s not sexual. Well, unless we’re talking about which food is your favorite to eat off someone’s body.” She sat, mouth agape and cheeks ablaze. He rolled his eyes.What did she want from him? "Just answer the question." he urged.

"My mums Red Velvet Cake."

"What's that?"

"You know…it's a cake. It’s chocolate with red food coloring and I think it has cream cheese icing. She always made it for me on my birthday back home."

He laughed out loud.

"Hey, that’s not a bad answer. Cakes are good!"

"No, sorry, it’s not that. I just forgot for a second that you were muggle-bor…" His laughter abruptly stopped and he turned slowly, waiting for her to say something.

Her eyes weren't cold, just confused and a little glazed over from the alcohol in her system. "'How could you forget? You've only called me _Mudblood_ every year since meeting me."

"Just…leave it for tonight will you?" He wanted to change the subject quickly. "Go on ask me something."

She frowned but placed a hand to her chin in thought. "Ok then, favorite game?"

"Quidditch." He answered immediately.

Her eyes rolled dramatically. "I _should_ have known."

"Yeah, you'd think after all these years you'd know how much I like to _try_ to beat Potter at his best game."

"Oooh, am I hearing things? Did you just admit that Harry is a better Seeker than you? Harry would love to hear that.”

He scoffed, “I wouldn’t go as far to say I’m admitting defeat. I’m just conceding that he won the battle. If I would ever square off against him again, I’d win the war.”

“Hmmm. _I think someone is a little conceited_.” She singsonged.

"I try." He took a drink and smiled. "Ok. Yes! I've got a good one for you.Why Weasel and not Potter?" He honestly could not fathom someone as witty as Granger to end up with a gormless arse like Weasley.

She frowned at his continuous use of his nickname for the red head. "Well it's true I _did_ have a crush on Harry first and second year, but then.I started really liking Ron. “She paused. “I don't know when it happened but suddenly I realized I wanted to be near him. He made me laugh, stood up for me. Of course, I love Harry, but he's more like a brother."

"I still don't get it." He didn't think Ron was that great of a bloke himself.

"You don't get to choose who you love, Malfoy."

"That's not true." In his circle, your _parents_ chose for you. You’d really get no say in the matter.

"Why’s that? Did you get your heart broken?" He didn’t answer her, as he’d never even come close to that. “Haven’t you ever been in love?”

"No."

"Really?" she said, shocked. "What 'bout Pansy?"

"Hah, don't make me laugh, Granger. I was only with her because she's a pureblood, and as I said earlier, I was randy. Love had nothing to do with it."

“Wow, I’d just always thought- Well, if you say so.”

Suddenly her face went a bit white and she clutched her head in her hands."You alright?"

"Yeah, just a bit dizzy." she admitted, taking a deep breath.

He stretched out his legs and offered her his lap.

She gave him a look that said no-way-in-hell, so he grabbed her jacket and bundled it up. "Better?"

She still looked uncertain but as the hall started to spin she moved to lay her head in his lap while her back rested on the floor. She stared up at him for a moment, her eyes wandering over his face. She thought he looked rather handsome right now, but shook the thought out of her mind. That must be her drunk self-thinking. When he didn't say anything she broke the silence. "Aren't you going to ask me something?"

"I'm trying to think of another good one." He replied, trying hard not to admit that he was just staring at her chest and wondering why he'd allowed her to lay her head in his lap. That could get awkward later. Oh well. "Ah…The worst thing you got a detention for.."

"That would be calling Umbridge a _hag,_ and then hiding all her kitty plates throughout Hogwarts." she replied laughing.

He looked astonished. "That was you!"

She giggled again, prying the almost empty bottle from his hand and leaning up enough to take another swig.

"Wouldn't have thought."

"That I could be a trouble-maker? Well, I assure you Mr. Malfoy. I can be just as troublesome as Harry. I jus' don't do it all the time…besides..you were there, right? Being a smug bastard and all."

"Yes, yes I get it. I was an arse."

She raised her knees and looked up at him again. He didn't look at her face, she noticed. His eyes were traveling down south. "Still are."

His eyes shot back to hers. "I ought to thump you."

"I wouldn't advise that. I can pack a good punch." She demonstrated by punching him lightly in the jaw.

He rubbed the side of his face. "Hmm yes. That's true. "

"Oh yeah, I hit you for real third-year didn't I?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You _would_ say that. I'm pretty sure you ran away crying, that's why you don't want to admit it." She saw him roll his eyes and decided to move along to the next question. "A'right fine. How'd you get your name?"

"Well, that's an odd one."

"Just answer it." Her eyes left his face and stared at the ceiling. "I've always been rather curious."

He noticed she wasn't looking at him, and took the opportunity to study her features. Her skin sort of glowed in the dim light. "My mum's side of the family always names their kids after stars and constellations. "

"Ah, I can’t believe I never put it together before. “Sirius, Regulus, Andromeda, Draco." When she said his name a shiver went up his spine. He chose to ignore it. "The dragon constellation."

"Yeah, it's a rather strange tradition, don't you think?"

"I don't know. I think it's kind of beautiful, to be honest. Being named after the stars."

She looked rather happy at the thought. He found himself leaning forward, wanting to get a closer look at her big brown eyes that seemed to have a spark in them. She turned her head and he backed up, clearing his throat. " Hmm, Biggest triumph?"

He expected her to say defeating Voldemort. He was wrong. "Getting nine Oustanding on my O.W.L.S."

"You've got to be joking?"

"I'm not."She insisted. “I’ll have you know I take my schooling very seriously.”

Yes, that he knew. "I am aware of your intellectual prowess, Granger. I just don’t see how _that_ was your biggest triumph.”

She moved off his lap and stared at him. "Well, I thought for _sure_ I would fail them all. So yes. I find it rather triumphant." She grinned, taking a drink from the bottle for the last time. She held it out to him.

He took it, shaking his head "You are, _by far_ , the strangest witch I know."

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you." She replied nudging him.

"I can't even get a good insult on you tonight." He sighed. "To think a good grade outweighed defeating the Dark Lord…It's humorous."

"But that's just it. You just _assumed_ you already knew my answer. Anyone can assume things. I assume things about you."

He swallowed down the remaining amber liquid. “Fine, fine. Assume away." he chuckled.

"Alright then. Is your biggest regret being a Death Eater?"

It was an honest question, not one she'd purposely set him up for. So when his mouth twitched, she knew she’d probably gone a step too far. She wasn't prepared for this. Not even a little bit. Draco's face, which had up to this moment been smiling and rosy with booze, crumpled and slowly drained of its color. She immediately felt guilty. She obviously didn’t have a filter right then. She slowly reached out and put a gentle hand on his arm. "I'm…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…that was kind of insensitive of me…You really don't have to answer that."

He looked hard at the floor for a moment. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about this exact thing a million times before tonight. He shouldn’t have been surprised that it had gotten brought up. Granger was always curious and with her lowered inhibitions she probably just spouted off whatever came to her mind. He should just stop this right now, take her up on it. If they hadn’t been drinking he wouldn’t even _be_ considering telling her his biggest regret, but as it were, he wanted badly to get it off his chest. She seemed the type that could keep a secret if it was important. “No, I want to answer,” he finally said. “If you want to hear it." Hopefully, he didn't regret _this_ later.

Hermione thought for a moment. Did she want to hear it? What Draco Malfoy, _former_ Death Eater's, biggest regret was? She hadn't meant to turn their night of fun into such a serious affair. She hadn't meant to make him remember things he most likely didn't want to. But now that the mood was ruined, She found herself whispering, "I'll listen."

He wasn't looking at her, but he took a shaky breath. "It's true I regret it, but it was out of my hands. I never _wanted_ to be a Death Eater. Sure, I played it up that I did, but only to keep myself alive. Deep inside it was just a lie. It had always been a lie. All the arrogance and vanity I held was just to cover up what I really felt." He chanced a glance, she was staring intently at him, it was almost suffocating, but he continued.

"I know that I was a nasty little shite so I won’t make excuses for what I did back then. The decision to antagonize you and Potter was all mine. I chose to be nasty. My ideologies, on the other hand,” He sighed deeply. This was harder than he even thought it would be. “Those I didn’t choose. I didn’t know anything else. When I was younger I justified my behavior because I, and everyone one around me, was a pureblood. I felt superior. I should be able to get away with things because we were _better_ than other wizards. I _gladly_ followed after my father, mimicking what he told me time and time again. Even when I was too young to truly understand it.” He angled his body more towards her. “I know you won’t understand but traditions and prejudice are engrained in us from the time we’re born. From the day my magic surfaced, until recently, I’ve been a walking, talking puppet, with my father above me, pulling the strings.”

She was still looking intently at him and he felt lightheaded as he spoke. He never talked about his father. To anyone. Ever. He stood, unable to sit still any longer, and began pacing in front of her.“Honestly, I _did_ buy into everything he said. He was my father, why would I question him? Then, sometime around third year, things started changing. It was no longer harmless taunting and belittling _blood traitors_ and mudbloods. I was no longer about forcing them out. It was about _eradicating_ them.” At this, he heard her sharp intake of breath. “Now, sabotaging I could get behind. I would have gladly come up with plans to get people expelled, or fired and such, but as soon as his talks turned more sinister in nature I started questioning myself, and everything I believed in. I wasn’t comfortable with the thought of killing anyone. It wasn’t in me. I knew it was wrong, that _he_ was wrong, so I tried to stay out of it. But sometimes I heard things.”

“I don’t know if you recall, Granger,” He leaned against the wall again, closing his eyes. “ But the night of the Quidditch World Cup I warned you.” She made a noise but he raised his hand to silence her. “No, it wasn’t premeditated or anything like that. It’s just…I saw you, Potter, and Weasely and I didn’t…I didn’t want you to run into them. I had no idea what their plans were but it couldn’t have been pretty. I still hated you all but I didn’t wish you dead. I had honestly thought that their little power trip wouldn’t long. It was a fruitless endeavor and I thought it would fizzle out when they realized using Unforgivables and killing muggles-borns would land them in Azkaban. My father had gotten out of it once, how could he possibly think it was a good idea? Obviously, I couldn't have been more wrong.”

"I didn't believe it really," He admitted, opening his eyes once more.“ about, …Voldemort. At first, I thought Potter was lying. But then he _literally_ showed up at our front door. To say I was scared would be the understatement of the century. I was completely terrified. After my father’s cock up at The Ministry, I didn't have my family's status as protection anymore. My father had fallen out of favor with him. So now it was up to me to..to.." He struggled. "I was to become lackey, his scapegoat. To make sure we were in good standing with _him_. As an impressional youth, I had always pictured Death Eaters as dark and glamorous. But when it was my turn to become one, I knew I had been mistaken. I didn't want to be a part of it at all….but I couldn't just turn tail and run away…my mum….my mum ... I couldn't leave her. I also knew I wouldn’t last long on my own, so I stayed. Then my father forced me to join them. He needed to get back in the Dark Lords good graces.” He absentmindedly touched his right arm. “I was “ _gifted”_ with the Dark Mark and told to kill…told to kill Dumbledore." Pain flashed in his eyes but he continued on. " I really didn't want to do it. I tried round about ways to do it and it almost cost two innocent people their lives. I couldn't….it just ate me up….and, in the end, …well you know what 'happened." He made a choking noise like he was struggling with himself. "But none of that was my biggest regret. It’s worse. So much worse."

Hermione felt sick to her stomach. She’d been enthralled by his story and had quickly realized that she was probably the first person he had told any of this too. She could tell by the way he struggled, the way he got stuck on words and moved about in a crazed manner, the empty bottle being tossed back and forth anxiously. She knew what he was saying was the truth. It wasn’t some cockamamy attempt to get her off his case. Malfoy was being sincere for once. What he’d told her so far had been hard to take in. For so long she had thought he was a cold, callous, typical pureblood git. She’d never been more wrong. She was a bit scared to hear the rest if she were being honest. What more could he regret? What was worse than all that?

He had stopped talking and was staring off somewhere down the hall. She cleared her throat. “You can stop if you need to. If it’s too much.”

His head slowly turned until he was looking directly at her again. “Do _you_ need me to stop, Granger?” He asked. She was taken aback. “I know you’re a war hero and all, but surely you’ve come to realize that the good guys don’t normally get their hands dirty until they are forced to do so. Their consciences get in the way. But the villains? They _have_ no conscience. They are _void_ of empathy.” He sounded angry but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. “I’m sure you know where I’m going with this.” She nodded silently. “Usually, you’d say you could see better with the light on, but I found out the hard way that when it comes to war, the Light Side doesn’t see nearly as much as those in the dark.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat as he took a moment to breathe before addressing her once more. “Again, are you sure you want me to continue? I’ve kept it in for this long. I’m sure I can keep on doing it.”

She didn’t believe him. He was already so close to the edge as it was. She could see it written across his face like a brand. If he didn’t get it out now, he never would. It would haunt him forever. “Tell me,” she insisted, “I _want_ you to tell me.”

He stared at her hard for a moment, then he said, “Ok. Just, don’t…don’t _say_ anything. Please." She agreed to remain silent, and he cleared his throat. “Dumbledore was right. Killing _isn’t_ as easy as the innocent believe. I had failed to kill him. I was moments away from accepting his help, but my lovely Aunt took care of that. I was stuck and I knew my failure didn't look good. I had…I had to _prove_ myself. To save my family, and to save myself. I had to do what they told me. They made me _torture_ people. You'd think it would be easy to Crucio someone you don't know, you have no ties to them, but it's not. The first time I didn’t even make it back to my room before I vomited.” He wrinkled his nose.

“I thought surely they would see how weak I was, and I’d be a goner. But they didn’t. What they saw was a punishment turning into a lesson learned. I had always excelled in magic, yes even the dark arts, because I was a Malfoy. Learning a spell or two was a right of passage. I know this is what ultimately save my arse. The Dark Lord saw potential in me, on behest of Bella I’m sure, but I didn’t enjoy it at all. No amount of amazing magic could change how disgusted I felt every time I was called upon. But I did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Because it was _them_ or me and I was a coward, I wanted to live.” He looked down at the floor. “It was so brutal, Granger. The Dark Lord was frightening in his own right, but some of his followers were even more twisted than he was. There were times that Crucio wasn't enough for them. They used spells that would slowly tear the prisoners apart from the inside out. The were still being tortured but they wouldn't _die_. Not until they were finished with them. It was sick. They were getting off on the bloodshed.”

“The killing curse was hardly used. It was over too quickly, you see. Why end the fun so soon?” A dark, deranged sort of laugh escaped his lips. “I stayed the hell out of it. I kept to myself and only showed my face when it was necessary. But _then_ they decide they’re going to start hauling my fucking _classmates_ into the dungeon. The day Lovegood was dragged through the dining room I nearly choked on my tea. There was no way I was going to be a part of _that_. Not to the people I knew. _That's_ why I didn't tell them about Potter. I knew…I knew he was the only solution, loathe as I was to admit it. So lied. I lied because I _knew_ what would happen. I lied because I saw _you_ with him and I knew it would be so much _worse_ for you. I lied because I would have been a dead man otherwise. I was finished. I couldn’t-" He looked away from her. "I know, I know it was the end for me because right before the snatchers brought you to the manor…." Hermione watched him stare blankly at her, almost as if he had forgotten she was even there. His hands gripped the empty bottle so hard his knuckles were white. "They brought in a boy…..said his family was helping The Order. He couldn't have been more nine years old….." He stopped, letting the bottle fall to the floor and running his hands through his hair.

Even in the shadows cast by the torch behind above them, she could see the guilt and pain shimmering in his silver eyes. It made her chest ache. She stood up slowly. "Malfoy…."

He suddenly advanced on her, grabbing onto her shoulders, his actions desperate. He wanted her to understand, he needed her to. He knew no one else would, but if it was Granger then maybe- "I didn't want to do it!" He cried. "Do you understand? I didn't want to kill him. Muggle, halfblood, squib, it didn’t matter. He was a fucking child. He shouldn’t have been involved. He was just a little kid…and I was a coward….if it was you and' your lot, you would've refused but I wasn't strong enough. Even when he cried….begged for his mum. I just closed my eyes…." He swallowed loudly. "So _that_ , Granger. _That_ is my biggest regret. Not being brave enough to do the right thing, not being strong enough to refuse to…to murder a _child_. I'm a fucking _monster_. I don't deserve to be here, I don’t deserve to even be breathing. I deserve to be in Azkaban with my father for the things I've done." He released her, dropping to his knees and holding his head in his hands.

Hermione was blown away. She had already known that he'd never wanted to be a part of it. Harry had told them that much, but now that she was _hearing_ it directly from _him_ , seeing his conviction with her own eyes, it was hard to process. He'd done some awful things, things she couldn't fathom, things she knew she would never do, but she could see now that his hand was forced. He was obviously thinking about it a lot, and the pain was real. He regretted the things he’d done, he’d regretted _all_ of them. He thought he shouldn’t even be alive. His self-hatred was evident. She could see it in his face. She could almost _feel_ the remorse pouring out of him. The man in front of her wasn't the same boy who had tormented her friends and called her a mudblood throughout the years. In the course of a night, she had finally seen something she never thought she’d ever see, not from him. Certainly not from a _Malfoy_. Yet here they sat, alone on the seventh floor, filling the air with tension and grief. He had _changed_. He was broken and was struggling with it. She had to _do_ something. Without thinking she dropped to the floor in front of him, taking his hands in hers. He looked up startled. "No, you don't…"

"Don't you dare bloody pity me, Granger." He scoffed, yanking his hands-free.

"I'm _not_ pitying you."

He fidgeted and stood up, wanting to get away from her quickly. He'd just told her something he'd never told anyone. It had all just spilled out of him. He had no way of stopping it. He’d revealed even more than he had initially intended and now there was no going back. She knew now. He felt completely transparent. He had just laid out all his sins at her feet. And now he was scared of what she had to say. He started down the hall.

She stood up, bracing herself against the wall. "I don't think you were a coward." She called after him softly.

He stopped and turned back to her. "What?" Surely he wasn’t hearing her right. How could she _not_ think that of him?

"You may not be winning any awards for most courageous, but you weren't a coward." She repeated, this time, loud enough not to be mistaken. "Sure you were scared, but who wouldn't be? I will be the first one to admit I judged you harshly back then. But I had no idea, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind that you were just another victim. The Dark Lord had set up a headquarters in your _house_. The place you grew up in. You didn't want to leave your mum so you stayed, despite knowing you'd have to join them. At that point, you probably knew what horrible things would happen to you. But you did it anyway. That _was_ brave.” He shook his head but she continued, “No, just listen. I know you think it was just self-preservation, and maybe a part of it was, but you said it yourself. You stayed for your mum. I did the same thing, sending mine away to protect them." She stepped towards him.

"That's different." He said, not looking her in the eye.

"No, it's not. Not really. You did what you had to, to protect her. I did what I had to to protect mine. I obliviated them, Malfoy. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I had no choice. When it came to their safety I’d do anything. I feel like you’re the same in that aspect. You love your mother. You did it out of love, not cowardice. And _when_ we were brought to the manor, you knew it was us. You knew it was Harry, but you _didn't_ tell them. You made a choice. You made a decision to not rat us out. Protecting Harry, for any reason, when your “master” was hell bent on destroying him was _brave_. If they had found out you had lied…they would have tortured you. Maybe they did anyways, but you’re right, they would have killed you. You took that all into account and you still didn't give us away. Then…then Bellatrix, when she tortured me…I was blacking out, but I _saw_ you."

His eyes widened. He thought she'd been unconscious at the time.

"Right before.." She took a breath. "Right before Ron and Harry came…you took a step and you had your wand raised just slightly. At first, I thought you wanted to _join_ your aunt, but now I see clearly. It wasn't pointed at _me,_ was it? It was pointed at _her_. You wanted to stop her, didn't you?"

He turned so his face was hidden from her, but she still heard his coarse whisper. "Yes, I..it was…it sickened me to see what was happening. I told you, I _knew_ it was only going to get worse. I wanted…I didn't know how, but I wanted to stop her."

She took another step. "After everything you’ve just said, I really think if Harry and Ron hadn't come…I really think you would have tried to save me. I believe that. I really do." They were just inches apart now and in the moonlight she could see his face clearly. It looked confused but somewhat relieved at the same time. His eyes were shining. Had he been trying not to cry? He didn't say anything and neither did she for a moment. They just stood in the empty hall looking at each other. "You're _not_ a monster Draco." She told him, and then she did something she never thought in a million years she would do. She was running on complete impulse now as she leaned up on her toes and kissed him.

It took him a second to realize what was happening, that he was being _kissed_ by Hermione Granger, whom up until recently he'd called a _Mudblood_. And another second to realize that even though it would have been against the old Draco's very fiber of being, he didn't care. His hand found its way to her face as he kissed her back with such force that she lost her balance. His other hand slipped around her waist to steady her. She'd done a very scary thing when she'd kissed him. He wasn't sober enough to stop himself from wanting her. He'd wanted to kiss her since she'd told him he should smile more.

Chills erupted at the contact. She couldn't believe she was kissing Malfoy. But it wasn't a bad kiss. No, it was passionate and intoxicating. She bit his bottom lip softly before his tongue beckoned for entrance, which she gladly gave. They both tasted like fire whiskey but it was of no consequence. They were lost to the moment. Both of them recognized that they shouldn't be doing this but neither wanted to stop. His hands were tangling in her hair and hers were traveling up his back. After a few moments, they broke away, breathing heavily. He was looking down at her, not being able to contain the desire he knew was reflecting in his eyes. She saw it and instead of backing away and muttering a goodnight, she stayed rooted to the spot, gazing into his silver orbs as if she was stupefied, which she knew she wasn't.

Then he broke the silence between them. "Say it again," he whispered.

She scrunched up her brows in confusion. "Say what again?"

"My name." If he was embarrassed by his request he didn't show it.

She inhaled and spoke softly, "Draco."

She made a small, startled yelp when she found herself being lifted into his arms. She hadn't even seen him move. He kissed her deeply, moving her legs to wrap firmly around his waist. Her hands wove into his hair, pleasantly surprised about how soft it felt between her fingers. He was walking now, carrying her with him. She felt her back hit the stone wall. His left hand pushed her hair out of the way as his mouth moved down from hers to plant hungry kisses down neck, and onto her collarbone, where he bit down, causing goose bumps to adorn her skin.

She couldn't suppress the involuntary moan that slipped from her lips. Hadn't she said earlier that she wasn't into drunk snogging? Apparently one had to _actually_ _be_ _drunk_ to find it completely thrilling. Or maybe it was completely thrilling simply because it was _Malfoy_ , and she _shouldn't_ be doing it, and she certainly shouldn’t be _enjoying_ it.

The sound of boots echoed somewhere farther down the hall. "Who's down there?"

The voice startled them for a moment. Hermione's heart was beating so fast she thought it might escape from her chest. She couldn't be caught snogging him _here_. It would be the end of her. Something suddenly clicked in the back of her head. “What floor is this?” She whispered.

He tilted his head in confusion. “Seven, I think.Why?”

She grinned and silently wished they were somewhere else where they could be alone and the moment the thought crossed her mind, the stones at her back disappeared and a door formed.

"Room of Requirement, good thinking," Draco smirked and shoved it open, hurriedly carrying her inside. She wondered briefly how it had survived the Fiendfyre, magic most likely, but she found herself not caring enough to linger on the answer.

They could hear what she now recognized as Filch’s voice getting closer as the door shut firmly behind them but they weren't really worried about it. They were already making their way to the bed that was set in the middle of the room, a small fireplace residing beside it, the logs inside already aflame. Hermione felt herself sink down into the soft mattress as slender hands snaked their way up her body, pulling her shirt off her frame. She knew she should be pushing him away, telling him to stop, but somehow she couldn't find the words. She realized she _wanted_ this. She wanted to know his touch, feel his warmth on her skin.

As if on command, his lips brushed against her, teeth scraping along her now exposed shoulder. She moaned her agreement as he nipped at her earlobe, his fingers working to unbutton her pants. Her heart fluttered nervously in her chest. Oh, Merlin, was she really doing this? She _really_ shouldn't be doing this. It was wrong…crazy. It wasn't like her at all…and yet, that's what made her want it even more. Kissing Draco was addicting, and it was _nothing_ like kissing Ron. Everything about them was different. Even up to the way they smelled.

Draco smelled like whiskey, cologne and hair gel. Which oddly enough reminded her of her father. It was a woodsy, musky scent and she inhaled it as she pulled him closer, allowing herself to let go of all her insecurities. Even as she heard him unbuckle his pants she knew she didn't want to stop. She didn't want to think about anything anymore. Not about the war, not about Ron, and definitely not about the fact that just hours ago, the man she was snogging was one of her biggest enemies, her rival. For once, Hermione Granger didn't want to think about her actions before she did them.

She found herself running her hands up his shirt, feeling the taut muscles of his abdomen. Since when did he work out? What did it matter? She didn't care when he'd gotten them, she just wanted to rip off his shirt to appreciate them more.

She wanted to laugh. Had she really just _thought_ that? Apparently she'd been carrying a lot of vent up sexual frustration, and she was about to unleash it out on an unsuspecting Malfoy. And with that thought in mind, she began pulling up his shirt, which he found amusing and helped by taking it all the way off. Her fingers roamed his torso as she became a little daring and bit his neck. He let out a small groan, silently pleaded for her to do it again. She did, sucking on the hot flesh. When she pulled back she noticed the small red mark where her lips just left.

She was so caught up in what she'd been doing that she wasn't even aware of the fact that he'd already pulled off her pants and was working on her knickers until she felt a hand glide down over her thighs and along her calves. She took a shaky breath. This was really happening.

"Move up, Granger."

It took a moment for it to register that he wanted her to move to the middle of the bed. She did so as he kicked off his pants and crawled up to her, palming her breast as he claimed her lips once more. His kiss was demanding, yet gentle. She could honestly kiss him all night and be fully satisfied. But she could feel his arousal against her stomach and knew this was going to go way beyond kissing. But she'd already known that the moment her clothes were flung haphazardly on the floor.

He withdrew from her for a moment, catching his breath. The fire cast an orange glow on him and she thought he looked rather sexy starting at her.

Then he smirked, looking down at her beautifully exposed body. "I'm sorry, Granger. I lied before."

She looked up at him, a little fearful, surely this all wasn’t a ruse. "About what?"

He gave her a wolfish grin. "I do believe I _will_ gobble you up."

She was so relieved that she couldn’t even give a response before his head disappeared between her legs, his tongue warm and hot against her clit. She's startled by the low, throaty moan that escapes her lips. He seems to like the reaction he's getting and continues to swipe his tongue along her womanhood.

Her hands moved of their own accord, threading themselves into his hair as he laved and sucked, enticing more pretty moans from her. If she was in her right mind she would be mortified that _anyone's_ tongue was exploring her _there_. She wasn’t a prude by any means, but she’d never done _this_ before. She was enjoying the sensation.

"Mmm, so wet, Granger." He hummed into her soft skin.

"Who…Who do you think… made me that way?" She asked trying to get a hold of herself. The room was spinning but she wasn't quite sure if it was _him_ or the whiskey, causing it to do so.

"Point taken." He replied, lifting his head and giving a lopsided grin, before inserting a finger into her entrance.

She bucked her hips up, meeting his palm as he slid another finger inside her. This wasn't the first time someone had done that but it was the first time she'd reacted so violently to it. She felt his hot breath on her navel and glanced down in time to see his mouth latch onto her right breast, teeth biting down ever so softly. She wondered if he knew how good he was with his hands. Knowing him, he probably did. He'd _obviously_ done this before. She tried not to think about it as his mouth left her breast and found her clit again, sucking it hard while his fingers continued their ministrations, causing her head to swirl.

"Ah, Malfoy…" She breathed. "Too much…ah…stop."

He kept going. He wanted to hear her moan louder. "Just…a bit more…."

She couldn't focus on what he was saying. Her legs were shaking and she was slowly losing feeling in her toes. Her breath was rapid, her chest rising and falling steadily. Every touch and lick were like electricity on her skin and she wanted nothing more than to melt away in the wonder of it all. The heat was spreading inside of her. It was coming. She could feel it, her breath halting and mouth tingling as her nails working circles into his scalp. Almost…almost. More. More. "Oh, god!"

He pulled up, watching her expression. "That's it." He murmured. "Come for me, Granger."

And she did, hard and loud, soaking the sheets and his hand in the process. She shut her eyes, reveling in the post orgasmic high she was experiencing.

The look on her face was just too much for him, though. He wiped his hand on the bed before positioning himself between her legs. He kissed his way up her body until she opened her eyes, locking them with his.

Her heart was thumping so loud she was sure he would hear it. Was she really going through with this? She didn't really know what to expect, she'd never gone this far with Ron. Her stomach was a bundle of nerves, yet she found herself stirring again with anticipation, as he ground against her.

"Wa-Wait…we…shouldn’t…"

His movements ceased and that's all it took for her to know how much she really wanted it. She bucked her hips up to meet his and ran her hands up his chest and onto his back, kissing him hard.

"Granger," his voice barely registered as a whisper in her ear. "You don't have to try so hard. We can still stop you know."

There was something about the way he said it, so soft and husky, and she reacted to it. She shook her head. "I think you and I _both_ know we're far past the point of stopping." She replied, meeting his heated stare with one of her own. "I _want_ you."

And with those three words he lost it. He entered her, slowly but completely, filling her up. Pain, numbed by alcohol, ripped through her. She gasped and dug her nails into his back. It would probably leave marks later but right now she couldn't care less. It was a strange sensation having him inside of her, one accompanied by pain and pleasure. She was unsure when the former would end but she hoped it was soon. She wanted him to go faster but feared she might break.

She was so tight. He wanted to tear her up so bad, but he could see the look in her eyes and wondered if this, could, in fact, be her first time. He shrugged the thought off. She couldn't _possibly_ be a virgin. She'd been Victor Krum's eye candy and The Golden Trio's love bird for years. He slowly pulled out anyway, easing back in as she adjusted to him. It took a few more times at this pace before her fingers relaxed, and grew more comfortable. After a moment she leaned up, planting a kiss on his already chapped lips and sighed.

He thrust into her, one hand in her hair and the other steadying himself above her. His tongue ventured into her mouth once again as they settled into a steady rhythm. Her eyes were closed but she had his face scorched into her memories. She felt as if her body was no longer her own while she was under him. It felt like almost like they were an extension of each other. And that kind of scared her. The fact that someone could make her feel so unlike herself. Not to mention just who that someone was.

But nothing seemed to matter at this moment. He was hitting something inside of her that made her toes curl. "Ahhhh, Malfoy.." She called out, unable to control herself.

His speed became erratic, hips colliding frantically, rocking the bed with the motion as she called out his name once more. She couldn't hush the cries echoing in the room and _he_ couldn't believe how beautiful and hot she was beneath him. They were coming dangerously close to consuming each other and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

He was at his breaking point. Every time he heard that silky voice moan his name, he felt like he was going to explode, which happened anyway, minutes later, spilling himself inside of her.

She found that she loved the way he groaned as he came, and the way his eyes squeezed shut as he collapsed on top of her, chest heaving. They were both slick with sweat but she didn't care. She was _so_ past the point of caring.

What she felt _relief_. This was just what she had needed. She briefly wondered if this was merely a drunken dream, but as she felt his heart beat in time with hers, she knew it wasn't a dream. It was real. It was bit strange, though, the feeling of having someone else's heart beating with hers, but she thought it was fascinating and didn't want to break the embrace.

After a moment he pulled out, rolling onto his back and she moved to lay her head on his chest. He subconsciously wrapped an arm around her and she was comforted by it though she wouldn't say so. She waited for any indication of him leaving and when none came she sighed and let her eyes close. Neither of them really knew what to say, so they remained silent, letting the fire die out and sleep overtake them.

****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...that took a lot of time to write. And I'm still getting used to writing lemon scenes. And have never done them for HP. So hopefully I didn't fail horribly. Comment? Please? :)
> 
> Side note: This chapter has been revised as of 3/20/16


	4. What have we done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hermione?" Ginny gave her a questioning look as she cocked her head to the side.
> 
> "What?"
> 
> She leaned across the table and whispered quietly, "Malfoy's been staring at you for the last ten minutes. What’s that all about?"
> 
>  Heat spread across her face and she glanced over her shoulder. Sure enough, he was looking right at her, lips looking ever so tantalizing as he mouthed the words, "see you soon".
> 
> “I…I don’t know.” She told Ginny before giving him a look of disgust.
> 
> She was so going to hell. But when she did, she was going to drag Draco Malfoy with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : Thanks for the wonderful feedback everyone! It's much appreciated. :) Also, the first chapters are introducing characters, character development, and relationships. The main plot is around the corner. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not from the U.K. and my name is not J.K. Rowling. So how could I stake claim for the best masterpiece of all time? That's right..I can't. I own nothing.

****

* * *

**Saturday, August 22, 1998**

Hermione awoke to her head pounding like a drum. Her throat was dry and her body ached _all_ over. What on earth had she been _doing_ last night? Aerobics? She groaned and rolled over, not bothering to open her eyes as she snuggled into the warmth at her side. What in Godric's name had possessed her to get so drunk? Oh yes, Ron.

Ron had irritated her enough for her to go and get pissed with Malfoy. Speaking of which, what happened after that? Her memories were a little fuzzy. She remembered falling into the bath and sitting against a wall but after that she was drawing a blank. How had she gotten back to her room? She pondered the question for a moment, curling herself against what she thought was her pillow. It wasn't until it moved that she realized something was terribly out of place. She inhaled deeply, the smell of sweat and cologne caught her attention, and her senses came alive. This wasn't her bed.

Her eyes shot open to see a tone, pale chest under her arm. She sat up horrified, her eyes wide as she took in the form next to her. His chest was rising steadily as he slept, his brows knitted together and a serious expression on his face. She didn't know how she got here or what she was doing sleeping next to _him_ but she knew it didn't look good. She hesitantly reached out to touch him. "Malfoy, wake up." She whispered, poking his shoulder. When he remained still she shook him gently. "Wake up!"

He finally stirred, opening one eye. "What the hell, Granger? I'm still tired." He yawned before rolling over and pulling the covers over his head as he did so. “If you want another go you’ll have to give me a minute.”

“Another-“ It was then that she noticed a crucial thing, something she _should_ have noticed the moment she had woken up. She was completely naked, and so was he. "We _didn't_!" She shrieked, startling him.

"Didn't what?" he asked, slowly moving into a sitting position and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

She yanked the covers up around her and grabbed the nearest thing she could reach, which happened to be a pillow, and began smacking him with it. "No ill intentions my arse!"

“Whoa! Hold on there.” He moved quickly grabbing the pillow from her and resting a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, Granger! What the hell is wrong with you?"

She shook his hand off and scooted away from him. "You! You snake! What happened? You must have tricked me!"

He looked hurt for a moment and then gave a callous laugh in understanding. "Yes, let's blame this all on me, _the conniving and vile Slytherin."_

"Don't try to deny it!"

He leaned forward, the famous Malfoy grin set firmly back in place. "For your information, princess, _you_ were the one who started it. _You_ kissed _me, remember?_ ”

Her mouth dropped open and she didn't bother backing away. Her eyes scanned his features and landed on a hickey, dark and bruised on his neck. He hadn't given it to himself had he? "I..did, didn't I?"

He nodded, his expression unreadable. "Pretty much jumped me. You're rather amusing when you're drunk."

Then it all came rushing back to her. Malfoys truce, their many pranks and laughs throughout the night and his gut-wrenching confession. She’d kissed him first. She had started it. She’d even been the one to open the unharmed Room of Requirements. She blushed remembering all the dirty things that happened between them there. "Bloody hell."

He looked slightly offended at her statement of surprise. "Well if you want to forget it that badly go right ahead. I'll just add it to my ever-growing list of _regrets_."

For some reason, she wanted to defend herself. "Not that's not- I um. I'm just shocked is all. I didn't think, I mean- this is just too weird." She winced as the pounding in her head grew stronger. She rubbed it with her hand. "Merlin's beard! I'll never drink again."

She watched him lean over, grab her wand off the table and point it at her, whispering a charm. Suddenly her head felt lighter, the pain being whisked away. "Better?" He asked.

She nodded, keeping eye contact with him. It was a bit awkward sitting there with nothing but sheets wrapped around her. Not to mention the fact that he had nothing covering himself and she couldn't stop herself from staring at his naked form. She didn't know whether he was as horrified as she was at the aspect of them sleeping together, but the way he was staring at her made her think he had rather enjoyed it. He’d even mentioned having another go! So obviously, he wasn’t as cut up about it as she was.

Circe, she'd _slept_ with him. She couldn't believe that she had actually done it, and with Malfoy no less. But then she thought about how passionate it was she wasn't particularly _sorry_ she'd done it. Then as he always did, Ron popped into her head and she couldn't help but turn away from the blonde. Even though he had said it was over between them, she still felt like this was a betrayal. She'd messed up. Big time.

When she turned away without saying anything he must have taken it as a sign that there would be no more sleeping and _definitely_ no round two. He muttered something under his breath as he got out of the bed, searching the floor for his discarded clothes.

She watched him, feeling the guilt wash over her. How could she try to work things out with Ron now that she'd slept with Malfoy? She began to panic. "Are you going to tell anyone?" she found herself asking as he pulled up his trousers.

She thought she heard him sigh. "I've got absolutely nothing to gain by telling everyone.” He gave her a look of impatience. “In fact, it would be rather stupid on my part. So I don't see why I would. If you're _that_ upset about sleeping with me, I already said you can pretend it never happened. We’ll write it off as a mistake. We were drunk. Let's leave it at that shall we? It's not something we need to dwell on, considering how pissed off everyone would be if they ever found out. I'd rather not make a big deal out it."

"But it _is_ a big deal to me." She whimpered, unsure why his words stung so much.

"Why?" His voice sounded uncaring but his eyes betrayed him as he looked back at her. "Before last night, we were still _enemies_. And if you want to get technical we still kind of are. So what does it bloody matter?"

"It just does…I..I just can't pretend I didn't- that we didn't- it wouldn't be right." She looked away, her face growing hot. She’d already slept with the bloke so why was she so embarrassed talking about it? "I can’t act like it never happened. I don't want to just forget my first time…"

He cleared his throat in the uncomfortable silence that followed her statement. "I..I uh didn't know. I just figured, well.."

"It's fine." She cut him off. "It's not like you forced me. I wanted to. If I didn't the room wouldn't have appeared the way it did."

He rolled his eyes. "Great observation, Granger."

Her face flushed with anger. Why did he have to be so snarky? "You…you are infuriating!"

"You're not quite a ray of sunshine yourself." He replied, yanking his shirt over his head.

She huffed and turned her back to him.

He moved to leave but stopped just a meter short of the door. He turned around and looked at her for a moment. "I'm sorry, alright? This just isn't how I envisioned my morning starting out."

Had Malfoy just apologized? _Hmm._ _Pigs really do fly._ "Well, it's not really my cup of tea either."

"Well, nothing we can do about it now. Do what you will with it. Remember, forget, it doesn’t matter. You can go fix things with Weaselbee and I'll go back to being a prick."

"I don't think that will solve anything." She said, getting up and grabbing her things off the floor. "But in any case, maybe you should leave first…it might be suspicious us leaving together."

"Yeah, sure." He replied, giving her form one last look over before smirking at her.

She felt herself blush again as he headed for the door.

After opening it, he stopped for a moment, back still to her. "Granger?"

"Yes?"

"Despite the catastrophe that this morning was, I actually had a lot of fun last night. And I don't….I don't regret telling you…" He didn't need to specify what he'd told her. She already knew. "But just keep all that shit to yourself."

There was an uncertainty in his voice that caused her heart to flutter. "I will."

"Excellent. Well then, I'll be off." He paused, "Take care."

"Yeah, you too, Malfoy." She said awkwardly, and then he was gone, leaving her alone in her thoughts.

She hurriedly dressed and grabbed her wand off the bed. She noticed the dried blood on the sheets and felt sick to her stomach. " _Scourgify_." She whispered. She didn't know why she felt the need to clean up the aftermath. Maybe it was because she'd committed the unforgivable act of sleeping with the devil, or maybe it was because she wanted to erase all the evidence of losing her virginity there. Either way, it didn't appease her mind to do so.

She could still feel him on her skin, and it unnerved her. Even if she left no trace of what happened in the room, all the evidence of it happening were tracked all over her body. Her legs ached, her insides were sore and she was pretty sure if she had a mirror, She would see red love bites on her neck.

But as much as she wanted to hate Malfoy right now, she couldn't bring herself to do it. They'd both been drunk and he’d stopped, giving her an out, but she hadn’t taken it. They both consented, end of story. She should feel happy that they'd agreed to not talk about it. It was that thought that had her mind doing summersaults, though. As much as she should _want_ to leave this absurd affair in the past, she didn't know if she could. Being with Malfoy had made her see clearly for the first time in a long time. Completely forgetting just wasn't an option for her. She wanted to remember all the sensations and feelings that had rocked her so hard last night. She wanted to see those gray eyes burning with desire again.

"What the hell have you done to me, Malfoy?" She whispered into the empty room, feeling as if he had changed everything about her in one night.

* * *

 

 

 Draco shoved his hands in his pockets as he headed back to his dorm. He'd just left a _very_ naked Granger in the Room of Requirements and he didn't really know how he should be feeling about it. He hadn't meant to sleep with her. He hadn’t meant for a lot of things to happen last night. He cringed a bit when he thought of the emotional vomit he’d spewed in front of her. Obviously, the drink had loosened his tongue. He supposed it could be worse. She hadn’t run away from him or looked at him with contempt. If anything she’d looked more understanding. It had taken him by surprise and somehow that had made all the difference in the world. He’d felt…well, something strange in the pit of his stomach. He would never have thought she’d kiss him, though. Pat him on the back maybe, or hug him like the Gryffindor she was, but never kiss him, let alone shag him senseless. Merlin, he'd _actually_ shagged Bookworm Granger….and she'd been a virgin. He should be feeling rather proud of himself for conquering the brains of the golden trio. Or should it be the other way around? If he’d been his father he’d feel disgusted that he'd tainted himself by sleeping with a _mudblood_. He knew he _should_ feel repulsed by it, but somehow he wasn't.

He glanced down and noticed the brown jacket that she’d discarded there the night before. He reached down and snatched it up off the floor. He flung it over his shoulder and smiled to himself. It would be the perfect excuse to see her again. Despite his insistence that she forget what they'd done, he wanted to make sure she _never_ forgot last night. It gave him a sick sense of power over her. He rather liked it. Knowing that she'd want to keep him her dirty little secret. It would be interesting to see what would happen next. After all, the snitch was in _his_ playing field now.

Blaise was sitting at his desk writing a letter when Draco waltzed into the room, hair damp from having just taken a shower. He looked over and frowned, setting the quill down. "Alive and in one piece I see. I figured you had finally gone and died in a gutter somewhere."

"You can't get rid of me that easily." He said, draping the jacket on a chair and lying across his bed.

Blaise eyed the clothing, looked over at Draco, and noticed the bruise on his neck. His interest peaked. "What's that?" He asked, nodding to the jacket.

"Just a souvenir."

"From a conquest?"

He sniggered. "Of sorts."

Blaise pointed at his neck. "Pansy would cry if she saw that."

He groaned in annoyance, throwing an arm over his face. "Like I give a rat's arse what she sees. I was bored with her a while ago."

"Cold, Draco. Really cold."

"Not my fault she loves a heartless bastard like me."

The chair creaked as he shifted. "I don't think you're that heartless."

"You _obviously_ haven't spent much time with me."

"Perhaps not." He picked up the quill again and resumed writing. "But I don't think heartless bastards go out of their way to comfort crying girls in hallways. Especially not crying girls that they supposedly hate."

Draco jerked up. "How-"

"I saw you." He ran a hand along the arm of the jacket, knowing just who it belonged to. “I left early and went to make sure you hadn't fallen and drown in the tub or something, and bumped into a rather angry Weasley. He was muttering something about Granger being “bloody sensitive.” So imagine my surprise when I see you sauntering down the hall-"

"Alright. So what if I talked to her?" Draco asked, sitting up and reaching out to grab the jacket from Blaise's hands. "I can be a half way decent bloke every once and awhile." He huffed. “Don’t go looking too hard into it.”

"Never said you couldn't," Blaise smiled despite himself. "You know, I _thought_ that jacket looked familiar. Granger was wearing it last night…"

"I _do not_ sleep with mudbloods." He stated in a near dangerous tone.

"Didn't say that you did," Blaise muttered, looking back at the parchment on his desk. If Draco didn't want to talk about it, then that was his business. He'd leave it alone. For now.

* * *

 

 

 Draco sighed and leaned back on his pillow. He found his wand shoved underneath it and muttered a charm to get rid of the bruises on his neck. He was fully aware that Blaise knew. He wasn't a fool. But he also knew he wouldn't tell. There was an unspoken code between them. If he considered _anyone_ his _friend_ , it would be Blaise. He'd seen past the darkness in Draco and accepted it, instead of using it to his advantage. He'd just been there. Especially after losing Vincent. Vincent was his best mate once upon a time. It was still hard, even now, knowing he wasn't going to waltz into the room and make a bad joke about Potter. Losing him hurt. Blaise knew that, and he didn't make him feel like it was a weakness. Draco wasn't worried that the boy would say anything regarding Granger. So for now, he could still plot a way to get her alone, without any interference.

He couldn't leave it as it was. He couldn't deny the fact that once he'd had a taste of her, he'd wanted to go back for more. She was like a drug. The brief moments spent with her made him forget all the nasty things he'd done in the past. It may have felt good to get a load off of his chest, but it was only a matter of time before those things started plaguing him again. So he'd come to a completely ridiculous, but rather satisfying decision. He was going to probably make the biggest mistake of his life, and trade one vice for another.

"And where the hell have you been?" Ginny asked when Hermione had finally made it back to her room. "I got back this morning and you were nowhere to be found. I was worried sick!"

The fact that Ginny had said she'd "gotten back this morning" hadn't escaped her notice. "I fell asleep in the library." She lied rather smoothly.

"Really, Hermione? We haven't even started school and you've already got your nose in the books? I _would_ believe that normally but-"

"-You know how much I love to read Ginny."

"-you're lying your arse off."

She held back a wince, "Why do you say that?"

"You look dreadful, no offense, and you smell like," She came up and sniffed her. "Cologne? So try to tell me again how you were in the library."

Damn Ginny and her keen observations. "Ok, so I wasn't in the library. I got piss faced and passed out in the hall. Happy now?"

"You actually got that drunk?" She nodded. "With who? I saw Ron with a bunch of people before me and Harry left, but you weren't there with him."

Bile rose in the back of her throat. "That's because, well Ron and I had a falling out of sorts…"

"That arse!" Ginny exclaimed. "What did he do this time? Start snogging someone?"

"Something like that but you really shouldn't talk about your brother like that." _Even though it's true._

"You're one of my best friend’s Hermione. I know how he gets." She could see the hurt look in Hermione's eyes. "It'll blow over, whatever it was about."

That was bloody unlikely. She took ran a hand through her unruly locks. "Ginny…I…I want to ask you something."

"Sure."

She felt incredibly silly asking Ginny about her sex life but she wanted to know if Ginny had felt any sort of guilt. She figured she hadn’t because it was Harry and not some stuck up Slytherin, but she had to know, for the pure sake of knowing. She was such a masochist. "Well do you and Harry…well…you know.."

"Shag?"

Way to put it bluntly. "Yes."

"Come on 'Mione, you really think we haven't? I wasn't letting him get away again." She laughed. "But why do you ask?” She made a face. “Have you and Ron.."

"No!" She said quickly. "I…I uh just wondered how you felt about it afterward…"

"Well I was quite happy about it, I love the bloke after all. But the first time I guess I was nervous afterward…I mean it didn't change things between us…but it did…you know what I mean?"

"No," she answered because she didn't. What she felt this morning was a mix of guilt, depression, relief, and all sorts of other messed up things. She just wanted them sorted out. So far, Ginny was no help. Of course, if she had asked her what she _really_ wanted to ask, she might have been.

"Well, it's like…we shared a piece of ourselves with each other…it brought us closer. But we were still ourselves. It didn't change how we felt or who we are."

"Interesting." She said, making her way to the dresser.

Ginny found her questions very peculiar and her behavior even _more_ baffling. "What's going on, Hermione?" She asked.

 _Please don't make this harder on me._ "Nothing."

"You come in here, hung over, smelling like a guy, _and_ asking me about my sex life. _Something_ is going on."

"I was just curious. I was discussing love…and sex last night with someone and I just wondered what _your_ views on it were. According to some people," _Draco and Ron_ , "my opinions are quite off."

Ginny folded her arms across her chest. "Does this _someone_ have a name?"

She thought of someone who Ginny would find acceptable for her to have a conversation with, but who wouldn't be around to tell her the truth. A list of Slytherin's ran through her head. "Zabini."

"You were hanging out with a _Slytherin_?" She asked in shock.

"Well, don't look so surprised. We _are_ trying to be friendlier towards other houses after all. And He was sitting in the hall by himself so I sat down and hat a chat with him."

"Ron must have really done something stupid for you to go hang out with some Slytherins."

"You have no idea…."

"You _could_ tell me."

"I'd rather not." If she told her about Ron then she might slip up and talk about Malfoy. And while she really wanted to tell Ginny everything, she knew she really shouldn't.

"You'll tell me eventually."

"Probably." She agreed.

"Then that's good enough for now." She replied. "You should probably take a shower before we go to the hall for breakfast, though. You're a mess."

"Yes, thank you for pointing out my atrocious appearance, once again."

"Anytime." She laughed, leaving Hermione to take a shower and get dressed.

Harry, Ginny, Luna, and Hermione all sat at the long table, plates of food in front of them. They were talking about all the things that happened at the party and Hermione all but laughed her arse off at the remembrance of Harry disrobing in front of her.

"I still can't believe you started taking off your clothes, Harry," Hermione said, shoveling scrambled eggs into her mouth.

"I'm glad you all got a good laugh out of it."

"Sorry, but it _was_ rather amusing Harry." Ginny laughed. "Besides, _I_ enjoyed it a lot."

"Oh please, I think I'm going to vomit." Hermione pretended to gag.

"You're just jealous because you want someone as sexy as Harry to take off their shirt for you."

She wanted to say that she’d had someone _sexier_ than Harry take off their shirt for her but kept it to herself. "I don't need half naked men around me to have fun."

"That's right. You like to get drunk and read _books_ in the library instead." Ginny teased.

"Really? Is that your idea of fun now? You should get out more." A voice called from behind her. "Reading isn't the only thing you're good at." Ron took a seat next to her and her stomach instantly did a flip.

"I don't even want to know what you consider a good time to be, Ronald."

He frowned. "Don't be like that 'Mione."

"Be like what, _Ron_?"

He gave her a look that said please-don't-fight. "You know what I mean."

"I'm afraid I don't. The last time I checked, my opinions don't matter to you. And I do nothing but boss you around and bitch at you."

Everyone was silent, intent on listening to their quiet row. "Listen. I'm sorry about last night. Honestly, I am!" He insisted.

She didn't buy a word of it. "Save it for someone who cares."

"Hermione! I really didn't want you to get lost. I didn't mean all those things I said either….I was an-"

"Arse?"

"Yeah, and being a mighty big-"

"Prat." she finished.

He nodded. "I'm sorry if I hurt you…I just got so worked up. I'm having a rough time and things have been bothering me lately…."

"Things have been bothering me _too,_ Ron. But I don't take them out on _you_."

He hung his head. "I knew this wouldn't be an easy fix."

"No, it won't." She agreed. _Especially after what happened between me and Malfoy,_ she added in her head.

He seemed to be ok with this and put his hand on hers. "Alright. Why don't we just, I don't know, try to start over or something?"

"Just go back to being _friends_ for a bit?" She asked, feeling anger rise inside of her again.

"Yeah. See where it takes us. We've both been kind of testy lately. I still love you and I want to be with you, but I think I need to sort out my feelings and deal with my anger. We just need a breather. "

She contemplated punching him, but at that moment, a flash of platinum blonde caught her eye. She wasn't prepared to see him this soon after their encounter and she lost her breath for a moment. She stole a glance at the other side of the room. Yes, just as she thought, he was there, sitting next to Blaise, taking a bite out of a bagel. He looked tired but he was smiling at something Blaise was saying to him. It was a fake smile though. She wouldn't have noticed before, but last night she'd seen the real one. The one where one corner of his mouth raised more than the other and all his teeth showed. She knew his face was gentler when there was a real smile on it. Any other time he looked too serious. She remembered the way he looked as he slept. Even then he was frowning. It was odd that the last she'd seen him _really_ smile was when he'd been about to go down on her. The reminder sent chills down her spine. He shifted in his seat and his eyes found hers. He had caught her looking at him and she quickly looked away, feeling like she was going to throw up. She was supposed to be trying to work things out with Ron, _not_ fantasizing about Malfoy.

"Hermione." Ron’s voice brought her back to present company.

"What?" Had he been saying something?

"Is that ok with you? Waiting for me?" He looked genuinely guilty for causing her pain.

"Yes." She replied, knowing the feeling in her stomach wasn't going away anytime soon. She had already lost her appetite.

"And just so you know. Despite what I said, I didn't hook up with that girl last night…."

She was sure he was trying to make her feel better about the situation, but it only made her feel worse. She had _hoped_ he'd slept with her. That way she didn't have to feel so bloody awful about what _she'd_ done. "Alright."

They finished their breakfast quickly, neither speaking to one another. She knew he needed space, and for once, she felt like she needed hers as well. She had to sort out all the emotions swelling inside of her.

"Hermione?" Ginny called from across the table, breaking her away from her self-destructive thoughts.

"What?"

She leaned across the table and whispered quietly, "Malfoy's been staring at you for the last ten minutes. What's that all about?"

Heat spread across her face and she glanced over her shoulder. Sure enough, he was looking right at her, lips looking ever so tantalizing as he mouthed the words, _see you soon._

"I…I don't know." She told Ginny before giving him a look of disgust.

She was _so_ going to hell. But when she did, she was going to drag Malfoy with her.

* * *

 

**_I don't really know how I feel about this chapter. I don't think it turned out quite as well as I hoped. But no worries, next chapter is going to be better._ **

**_Review? Please? :)_ **

 


	5. Staring Contest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looked over her shoulder to see if she was just being paranoid. She wasn't. He was staring. Blatantly. He wasn't even trying to hide it. His arms were folded across his chest as he leaned against a wall, trademark smirk on his face. She wanted to melt into the floor but she couldn't let him know that he had this profound effect on her. So what did she do? She stared back. Long and hard. She'd show him that two could play at that game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Do I own Harry Potter? Are you mental? If I owned Harry Potter Draco wouldn't have been such a coward all the time. And he probably would have joined the light side. So no. I do not own this wonderful series.
> 
> Onwards!

 

* * *

 

 _See you soon_.

Those three, silent words had been plaguing her all morning.

Wasn't it enough that she'd basically defiled herself last night, _without_ having to worry about the source of defilement coming up behind her and making her head swim with lecherous thoughts? Not that she was thinking about the way he'd kissed her, or the way he moaned when she'd bitten him, or how it felt when his tongue had….ok. So what if she was thinking about it? _A lot_. That wasn't really the point was it? Or maybe it was. The fact that she'd been thinking about him all morning made her feel dreadful. It was so _unlike_ her. Hermione Granger was not some hormonal, sex-obsessed girl. Yet here she was, thinking about the way Malfoy had kissed her last night.

Of course, the way he kissed hadn't been _all_ she'd been thinking about. She'd also been thinking about Ron and where she'd gone wrong in their brief relationship. She'd loved him for years. _Years_! And he'd felt the same, or at least, he _had_. Even though he'd said he still loved her, and while she believed it, she was scared that it wasn't enough. So now, on top of everything else, she had to deal with her bloody mixed emotions concerning the two infectious gits. Sometimes she wished she wasn't as smart as she was. Maybe then she wouldn't constantly weigh her options in her head. She felt like she was going mad.

She forced herself to think about something else, _anything else_ as she headed for her next point. It was well after two and the castle was a bustle of activity. Reconstruction groups consisting of three witches or wizards of equal caliber, but different strengths, were scattered about, piecing together the school stone by stone. Hermione made her way up the stairs, Ginny and Luna in tow. They were assigned to reconstruct the Astronomy Tower next, and they wanted to get it done quickly. There was only a week or so left before classes started and no one wanted to be in the Astronomy Tower long.

Hermione sighed as she entered the tower.

"Are you sure you're alright, Hermione?" Ginny asked stepping in behind her. "You've been sighing all day."

It was true. All day Hermione had been sighing to herself and mumbling obscenities about Ron. She had also raised suspicions when she ducked and dodged down corridors, searching for blonde hair before proceeding anywhere. She didn't really want to see him if she could help it. It would only lead her down a path of confusion. But, so far so good. "I'm fine. Perfect actually." She answered, drawing her wand and getting straight to work. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well I mean, you haven't really talked about what happened this morning. Are you ok? You and Ron….I mean you guys kind of broke up."

"Yes, _thank you_ for bringing that to my attention." She huffed curtly, pointing at a pile of rubble. " _Wingardium Leviosa."_ The stones rose and she kept them suspended in midair before chanting, " _Construo_."

Ginny didn't say anything further, and she and Luna followed suit, lifting their wands before watching as the debris reconstructed itself. It took a long period time to put every piece back together, and the whole tower was a sodding mess. When the room was finished a quick reparo spell would set all objects inside right again, but it would take at least the rest of the day to complete the task of stitching the architecture back together with just the three of them. It took a lot of concentration and only so many of them could actually preform the right spells to do it.

"So…" Ginny must have been tired of the thickening silence that had descended on the room. She obviously had no intentions of leaving Hermione alone either. She knew, better than anyone, how Hermione kept everything she felt _in_ and everyone else _out_.

Hermione shifted her eyes but kept focused on her task. "So?"

"Last night. You weren't kidding. You really _did_ get drunk because of Ron."

"Yes, I already said that. Though I'll admit it wasn't the _best_ decision of my life." She thought of her laughing in the hall with Malfoy. It wasn't exactly her _worst_ either.

"You didn't do anything with Blaise did you?"

 _Where the hell did that come from?_ Her mouth dropped, all thoughts of Malfoy vanishing. "What?"

"I mean, this morning I know I joked around about it, but really Hermione, it was kind of worrisome."

"Worrisome? Hah! Ginny, I assure you, nothing happened between Blaise and I. I just needed to talk to someone and he let me talk."

"Well, you could have talked to me." Hermione raised her brow and Ginny huffed, "Ok, maybe not. But if all you did was talk, then why the hell was Malfoy staring at you this morning like he was in on a big effing secret?"

Wow. Why did he always worm his way into conversations he had no business being in? "What does _Malfoy_ have to do with anything?"

"Well, he does share Zabini's room doesn't he? If something happened Malfoy would know about it by now."

"Nothing _happened_!" She half shouted. The rocks she was lifting crumbled down by her feet. "If it had, I would've told you." _That's a lie_. "Ron. Ron is, _we_ are, having issues and I vented about them. End of story. Now if you'd be so kind as to not bring it up again, I'd really appreciate it."

Ginny's face fell. "I'm sorry. I just…"

"Wanted to help?" Luna offered from next to them.

Ginny nodded, looking appreciative at the mystical looking girl, who had up until this point remained silent.

"I know you worry, Ginny. But when it comes to your brother…oh, how can I explain it? I'm just hurt right now, ok? And it's something I have to deal with on my own."

"You shouldn't have to deal with it alone."

"But I _will_. Because _you're_ his sister, and _Harry's_ his best mate. Any other time I would go to you, but this is something you can't really help me with. You can't fix Ron, Ginny. He's made up his mind. He wants space. And really…maybe I do too. I'm still in love with him. I can't imagine my life without him, but if I'm not making him happy…" She fought the tears that were already making their presence known by blurring her vision.

The girls were silent for a moment, trying to think of something to say before Luna looked off into space. "The nargles seem to be acting up again."

Giggles erupted between the two girls and Luna smiled, seemingly pleased with herself that she'd broke the tension between her two friends. Hermione sighed. It was good to have friends when you were having a rough time. She was glad she had Ginny and Luna to keep her company today. If it wasn't for them, she'd probably be in the darkest corner of the library, her nose in a book while stressing herself out about Ron and wanting to kill herself for doing what she did with Malfoy. She decided maybe she liked living too much and settled with the thought of killing him instead. Yes. That would make everything better.

"Let's just get this done. I'm starving!" Ginny grinned, continuing her reconstruction spell.

"What is it about Weasley's and food?" Hermione laughed.

"Must be genetics or something." She shrugged.

"It's something all right. I still can't believe Ron ate that whole turkey last week."

 _Shit_. There she goes, talking about Ron again. But it wasn't necessarily her fault. She _loved_ the bloke. It was only natural that he was taking over her thoughts and memories. He'd been a permanent fixture, in most of her waking moments for the last seven years.

Ginny noticed the forlorn look on her face. "It's going to be alright, Hermione. I'm sure you'll get back together. You'll see."

"I hope you're right." She said, though she was beginning to feel like it was a good thing they broke up.

She gave her arm a light squeeze. "I'm _always_ right."

"A little conceited aren't we, Weaslette?"

Hermione whirled around at the familiar cocky voice coming from the doorway. How long had he been standing there?

"What are _you_ doing here, _Malfoy_?" Ginny asked, irked by his nickname of her.

"McGonagall sent our team to assist you." He let his eyes pass over the red head and roam over Hermione's figure. "It seems you were taking _far_ too long," He drawled.

"You can't rush perfection." Hermione jabbed, refusing to let him get to her. Just because her body was reacting to his presence, didn't mean her brain had to.

"Fighting with the Gryffindor's already, Draco?" Blaise asked, stepping into the room followed closely by Theodore Nott.

"I'm actually a Ravenclaw." Luna chimed. Draco ignored the fact that she spoke, but Blaise gave a polite nod her way.

"Fighting? Why would I waste my breath?" Draco replied, making his way across the room. "It would only end up with someone running from the room in hysterics."

Hermione clenched her jaw. "Yeah, _you_."

The corners of his mouth turned downwards. "What was that, Granger?"

She was surprised about how much she wanted to fight with him. Maybe it was her frustration with him or the fact that as much as she wanted to deny it, he looked incredibly sexy in that white button up suit shirt and black slacks. No. She _didn't_ just think he was sexy. She grit her teeth and hissed, "You _heard_ me. Don't make me repeat myself."

"Do you talk to your dear Ronnikins like that?" He smirked, clearly trying to get under her skin. "Is that why he dumped you this morning?"

That was a low blow, even coming from him. She took a few haughty, strides forward. "You insolent little-!" She was reaching forward as if she was about to strangle him but he remained where he was, grinning like a mad man.

" _Ladies,_ please." Blaise moved between them. "Let's just get our job done so we can go back to hating each other from _across_ the Great Hall."

Ginny looked from Blaise to Hermione. She silently prayed that Ginny wouldn't open her mouth and ask him about last night. It would ruin everything. She didn't say a word and for that Hermione was grateful. Blaise gave her a look that she couldn't quite place like he was trying not to smile, and she couldn't stop her mind from wondering about what Ginny had said earlier. About Malfoy knowing if anything happened between her and Blaise. He'd said he wouldn't tell anyone, but then again, when had Malfoy ever been a man of his word? She really shouldn't trust the bloke just because he'd seen her naked.

"Fine." Hermione agreed. "Just, stay away from me, Malfoy." She hoped he would oblige. She couldn't stand being so close to him. She felt like everyone in the room would know what happened between them just by looking at her.

He looked as if he wanted to say something cunning, but thought better of it.

"What no snide remark?"

"You're not worth it." He replied, trying to suppress the grin that was threatening to spill onto his face.

"Just ignore him, Hermione," Ginny said, sticking her tongue out at the Slytherin, who just made a clicking noise with his tongue in response.

In normal circumstances, she _would_ ignore him like she had for the last seven years. But these, were by no means, _normal_ circumstances. In the last twenty-four hours she'd gotten _yelled_ at by Ron, gotten _drunk_ with Maloy, _slept_ with Malfoy, _lied_ to Ginny, nearly punched Ron when they _officially_ ended their _unofficial_ relationship, and now she was supposed to be fixing the Astronomy Tower; when all she wanted to do was hex the hell out of Malfoy for making her feel so out of place in her own skin.

She glared at him, wishing that he'd just give her a break. She needed time to sort out what she'd done. And having him here, so close to her, made her jittery. If it wasn't for his mockery of her, she would have most likely been silent when she saw him. Perhaps she would have tried to get away. She just didn't know how to react to him anymore. So, she supposed she was glad he was being his normal, smart arse self but it really did nothing to lighten her sour mood either.

She began working even harder to finish the tower. She had to get out of there. It was suffocating. Even though he was on the other side of the room, she felt like he was right up on her. Maybe it was her imagination, but she swore his eyes were burning right through her. She suddenly felt naked, as naked as she'd been this morning. And dirty...so very dirty. Like her blood had been to him.

She looked over her shoulder to see if she was just being paranoid. She wasn't. He _was_ staring. _Blatantly_. He wasn't even _trying_ to hide it. His arms were folded across his chest as he leaned against a wall, trademark smirk on his face. She wanted to melt into the floor but she couldn't let him know that he had this profound effect on her. So what did she do? She stared back. Long and hard. She'd show him that two could play at that game.

She kept her brown eyes fixed on his gray ones, neither breaking eye contact. She wondered if it was true what they said about a person's eyes reflecting their soul. If it was, she must need to be closer, because all she could see in Malfoy's steel eye's was amusement.

Blaise seemed to notice their staring match and nudged him. "Now's not the time for games, Draco."

"You're quite right. My apologies."

He turned from her and busied himself by moving a large amount of rubble and reconstructing it. It wasn't shocking that he'd actually do what he was supposed to. He had been an extremely smart, and cunning individual throughout the years. And if she remembered correctly, he'd gotten quite a few Outstandings in his O.W.L.S as well. No, what shocked her at the moment, was the fact that he reconstructed a _whole_ wall _without_ the use of his wand.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"What, Granger? Did you think Aunt Bella was teaching me about wakspurts and nargles last summer?" He grinned, looking briefly at Luna, whose eyes had lit up at the mention of wakspurts. "I've got a lot more where that came from."

She ignored the retort that about came out, and put all of her emotions into her work. How could he do such powerful magic without a wand? Sure he'd been trained in the Dark Arts, but _Construo_ was hardly a spell used for hexing or killing someone. He'd willed a whole wall to rebuild itself without uttering a word! If she'd known _that,_ she probably would have been more cautious last night.

She was raising her own wall when she stole a quick glance at the blonde. He was still smirking; no doubt feeling like he bested her at something, which she refused to acknowledge.

 _That bloody bastard._ She hated him! Just who the bloody hell did he think he was? God or something? _Ugh! That sniveling, cocky, sexy, infuriating, git!_

"Watch out!" A voice called out to her.

But it was too late, her concentration had broken and the wall was falling, straight toward her.

* * *

 

Draco had thought she'd be back with the Weasel by breakfast time but he'd been wrong. He'd watched the red head sit next to her, taking her hand in his. Draco had almost choked on his juice. He was touching her so casually. It was repulsing. He’d ignored the strange feeling inside him, turning his attention back to Blaise, and that’s when he'd heard it.

It was Weasley speaking, trying to sound so innocent. "Alright. Why don't we just…I don't know, try to start over or something?"

"Just go back to being _friends_ for a bit?" She asked, bitterly. Even _he_ could hear the anger and hurt in her voice.

"Yeah. See where it takes us. We've both been kind of testy lately. I still love you. I want to be with you, but I think I need to sort my feelings out. We just need a breather."

So he'd finally gone and done it. He'd shoved the knife all the way in. He'd taken that moment to look at her, sure she’d had already been reduced to tears. She hadn’t been. Instead, her eyes were already scanning over his body. When their eyes had locked, she turned away, obviously flustered that he'd caught her staring at him.

He couldn't help but smile at that. She hadn't cried when Weasel had said they needed a break. No. She hadn't _cried_. She'd looked at _him_. It was somewhat gratifying and added a boost to his now sufferable ego.

He'd studied her after that. Waiting for her to feel his heated gaze on her back. He wanted her to know he'd gladly be a substitution for the Weasel. Not as a lover of course, but as a sexual counterpart. She'd enjoyed their romp just as much as he had. She would admit it soon enough. He'd _make_ her admit it.

When their eyes finally met again, he'd mouthed three little words that he'd hope would shake her.

_See you soon._

He’d enjoyed her reaction immensely. Her face had gone bright red and she'd turned her back to him. That was fine. She'd be seeing him. He'd make sure of it.

It was only later that he realized his plans were working. He'd spotted her dart down the hall after looking around in alarm. She was wary of him, and with good cause. She now knew what kind of things he’d been capable of. He knew that, but he still found it highly amusing.

Hermione Granger, brave and loyal bookworm, ducking down corridors to hide from Draco Malfoy, the big bad wolf. This would be fun. It's just what he needed at the moment. A wonderful, dangerous game of cat and mouse.

When Professor McGonagall had told his team to join Grangers, he'd nearly jumped at the opportunity to see her, to mess with her head. Just like she'd messed with his when she'd kissed him last night.

But the moment Draco had entered the Astronomy Tower he'd felt the immense urge to turn tail and run. He hadn't been here since…... He didn't even want to think about it. But he couldn't stop the past from crashing down from the corners of his mind.

" _Draco, Draco, you are not a killer." The weary, yet calm voice of his headmaster spoke softly to him._

_He'd reacted so strongly then, scared and determined to commit the atrocious act. "How do you know?! You don't know what I'm capable of! You don't know what I've done!"_

_But the elderly wizard_ had _known. He'd known all along it was him who had cursed poor Katie Bell, and almost killed Ron Weasley in an attempt to complete his mission. Dumbledore had seen right through him. He knew Draco hadn't wanted to kill. Hadn't wanted to see the light fade from someone's eyes at his own hands. He'd called him out on it._

" _I don't think you will kill me, Draco. Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe."_

_How true those words were. If he had known what he knew now, maybe that night would have been different._

" _I haven't got any options!" His terrified voice rang out. "I've got to do it! He'll kill me! He'll kill my whole family!"_

" _I can help you, Draco."_

_He'd wanted to believe that. Really he had, but the Dark Lord had made it extremely clear that there was no time for fuck ups. He couldn't back down. "No. you can't. Nobody can." It was a fact, not an opinion. He knew fully well it was far too late for anyone to help him. "He told me to do it or he'll kill me, I've got no choice."_

" _I can. Come over to the right side Draco, we can hide you. I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise. Come over to the right side, Draco…you are not a killer…"_

_At that moment in time, he hadn't been. He hadn't been a killer. He'd even thought for a moment about taking up the offer, but his fear rooted him to the spot, wand still pointing at the man's chest. "I got this far didn't I? They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here." His voice shook and he felt like he was going to throw up. "You're in my power….I'm the one with the wand….you're at my mercy…"_

_Then the wizard's eyes had changed. They pitied him and made him feel like he'd never see the end of this nightmare. "No, Draco. It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."_

_After that, everything had changed. Death Eaters flooded the room and Snape took on the task that Draco himself, hadn't been able to stomach. To become a killer._

He found that his tongue had gone dry in his mouth. The memories of that night had tormented him over and over again. The night he was supposed to murder his headmaster in cold blood. His lunch was making its way back up his throat but he pushed it down. Now was _not_ the time to be thinking about the past. He would have plenty of time for self-loathing later when he was lying in bed.

He heard the familiar voice of Ginny Weasley and it had thankfully brought him back to the present. He had a job to do. Firstly, to ensure the rebuild of the tower, secondly to get a bushy haired brunettes' knickers in a twist.

He'd only been there a few moments before his tongue got away from him. He'd insulted both Ginny and Hermione in three seconds flat and he was rather proud of himself. Seeing Hermione lose her cool over something he'd said was satisfying, to say the least. He'd already made up his mind that she was going to be his distraction. The question was, did she know it yet?

By their continued bantering back and forth he assumed she was well on her way to realizing it. He'd pushed her further by openly staring at her. She'd fought back of course like he knew she would. It wouldn't be fun otherwise. He needed her to be unsure of herself. That way, the next time they were together, he could use it to his advantage.

Last night's tryst had happened because _she'd_ gotten him in his moment of weakness. Now it was _his_ turn. He wasn't going to let her get away. He'd been with his fair share of girls his fifth year, but none had claimed his interest long. None had stuck in his mind like this. It was just a drunken romp, yet he'd been plagued by the images of her all morning. Granger, she was different. Bloody intoxicating. A temptress in disguise. Whether she knew she was or not, was another question entirely.

Knowing her, she wasn't aware of the effect she was having on him. Yesterday, if someone had told him that he would bed the muggle-born and be thinking about her non-stop afterward, he would have told them they were bloody mental. But he did wish someone would have seen this coming. It was a dangerous situation he was getting himself in. Mind games were enjoyable when you could control them but when your dick gets involved, the position changes. If he let himself get worked up now, he'd lose.

So he'd go the route of least contact. He'd stay a safe distance away. Maybe give her a dashing smile, an endearing look, but he wouldn't touch her. At least not yet. He'd save that for later.

For now, he'd give her something to be jealous about, and despise him for. He performed a nonverbal spell to piece together a rather large wall, and she'd turned from him, a scowl on her face. He loved it when she scowled like that.

 _Wait_ ….now he was loving things about her? No. Love was not the right word. More like…crave….he _craved_ her. He wanted to feel her soft body underneath him. He wanted to hear her moan his name as he ravished her. Yes. Love was not a word to describe what he felt for Granger. Nor was it hate. Hate was in the past. Indifference was what he'd felt until last night….or at least, that's what he was going to be telling himself. Lust was the feeling pooling in his gut right now, as he gazed at her. Pure, unadulterated, lust. If there was such a notion.

He'd been silently staring, keeping his thoughts to himself when he'd seen it. She'd shifted on one foot, head shaking as if she was yelling at someone in her head. Of course, he was egotistical, so he'd assumed he'd gotten under her skin and she was cursing his name in that pretty little head of hers. He would have laughed at the thought had he not seen the wall of stone tremble above her.

"Watch out!" The red head had shouted, as his legs moved without his consent, toward the crumbling wall.

He'd grabbed Granger, pulling her with him, out of range of the debris crashing around them. She had seemed utterly shocked and shaken when her eyes found their way to his. They had stared at each other a moment. This time, it was different than it had been before. They weren't just staring to get a rise out of each other. It was more like gazing, and it was unnerving. He had looked into her gentle brown eyes and seen reverence, and a bit of desire. It was all it took not to kiss her pink lips right then and there.

"Hermione, are you alright?" Weaslette asked, panic lacing her voice.

He'd quickly broken their odd exchange and helped her up. "You really should pay more attention to what you're doing with your wand." He'd told her and unable to stop himself added,” And less time thinking about me."

He'd known his earlier assumptions were correct when she'd wrinkled her nose in disgust. He supposed he wouldn't be getting a thank you from her and moved out of the way for Weasley to check her over for nonexistent injuries.

He took this time to feel better about his act of heroics by comforting himself with his normal sarcasm. "I'm fine by the way. Not that any of you cared about _my_ well-being. But-"

"Thanks, Malfoy." Ginny interrupted, quietly. "That could have ended badly."

He'd been speechless. "Well I couldn't just let it crush her, could I? Even if it was her own bloody fault for being incompetent. I'm not that heartless."

Blaise arched a brow and it just reminded him of this morning's conversation. He wasn't as heartless as he tried to seem. Blaise knew that Granger knew that. He didn't need the whole bloody school to know, but he couldn't say anything else as they all stared at each other.

Nott had relieved the palpable tension in the room, and they'd finished their assignment quickly, and silently, before going their separate ways. And as much as he'd wanted to see, and emotionally torment her, he couldn't get out of there fast enough. Instead of getting under _her_ skin, as he had planned, she'd bloody went and gotten under _his_ , whether she intended to or not.

 _She'll pay for that._ He'd make damn sure of it.

* * *

 

Hermione couldn't believe it. Had Draco Malfoy really saved her? She hadn't even had the time to scream before he'd slammed into her, knocking her out of the way. She landed with a thud, her head banging against his chest as the stones crashed onto the floor where she'd just been standing. She'd looked up slowly, expecting to see him frowning at her, no doubt pissed off at having to save her pathetic mudblood life. She'd instead been shocked to see his face expressionless, his gray eyes staring right through her as if she were transparent. She felt like he was peeking into her mind, seeing her private thoughts. She shivered under that unmovable gaze.

"Hermione, are you alright!" Ginny’s anxious voice called to her.

They broke eye contact and Draco had helped her to her feet. "Granger, you really should pay more attention to what you're doing with your wand," He said, leaning closer to her and whispering the next part low enough so only she could hear him. " _And less time thinking about me_."

Oh, how she wanted to kill him. And she was even going to say thank you. Well, he could bloody forget that now.

Ginny grabbed her friend. "Is anything broken?"

"No, nothing's broken." Hermione insisted. Ginny was always the one to fuss about injuries but it was understandable. She'd lost Fred. She wouldn't want to lose her best friend too.

"I'm fine by the way." Draco mused, giving Ginny a once over. "Not that any of you cared about _my_ well-being. But-"

"Thanks, Malfoy," Ginny told him. "That could have ended badly."

He'd remained silent for a moment, probably because he was shocked that anyone would thank him, especially Ginny. Well, she wouldn't complain. That just meant she didn't have to thank him herself.

"Well I couldn't just let it crush her, could I? Even if it was her own bloody fault for being incompetent. I'm not that heartless."

Blaise had arched a brow at this while Hermione fidgeted uncomfortably.

Nott cleared his throat. "Well, since we now know that Granger is fine, and Draco isn't heartless, let's finish this up. It's almost done, and I for one would like to get the hell out of here."

No one bothered to protest, and they'd finished the job in silence. All the while, Hermione had thought about the look in his eyes as he'd held her. It hadn't been a glare, or a haughty, disdainful look. It had been panicked for a moment, and slightly wanting. His eyes, cold and clear, as ice on a lake, had looked straight through her, and into her soul. If he didn't know that she'd been thinking about him all day, he did now. And she figured it was only a matter of time before she ran into him again. But next time, she'd have to be prepared, because Draco Malfoy had a way of making her feel like a picture on display. And she didn't like it at all.


	6. Diagon Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione tries to forget the blonde headed menace that plagues her thoughts. 
> 
> But how can she? He seems to be everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Not quite smut, but brief acts of self pleasure at the end. Why? Because it just seemed to fit.  
> Read at your own risk.  
> Disclaimer: Did you say I own Harry Potter? Is that what you heard? Oh dear, whoever told you that is quite mistaken.

 

_The air in the room was hot and thick, the smell of rotting flesh and stale urine assaulted his nose. He covered his mouth in disgust, his eyes adjusting to the darkness as they scanned the occupants lining the walls. Mudbloods, blood-traitors, muggles, he couldn't even differentiate anymore. They all looked the same to him in their half-dead state, their groans sounding the same and their blood looking the same as it caked their clothes. He wondered briefly if anyone would be able to tell him, a pureblood, apart from the rest, if he was thrown into the mix? Most likely not. The thought was not comforting in the slightest._

_He felt his skin crawl as a man was dragged into the middle of the room by Tobias Nott. He knew what he'd been brought here for. His insides churned as he thought about what he was about to be forced to do._

_He felt him, rather than saw him enter the room. His presence like ice on his neck, those serpent-like eyes baring down on him. His words came out like a hiss in his ear. "Do it, Draco."_

_He looked at the man lying on the cellar floor, ragged and barely breathing. Who was he? A wizard? A muggle? An Order member? Did he have a wife? A family? These thoughts plagued him. He never cared before who they were, what they were doing here, but in that moment, he felt the growing need to know._

" _Do not hesitate."_

_He raised his wand, willing his hand not to shake. "Avada…" He tried to get the words out, but they wouldn't come. He tried once more but the curse stuck in the back of his throat._

" _You are disappointing me, Draco." He sighed, stepping around him. "You've got to mean it."_

_Yes. Aunt Bellatrix had made that quite clear, and that was the problem. He really didn't mean it. He chanced a glance at the Dark Lord but regretted it the moment he did so. He knew that look. He tried to brace himself but could do nothing as the words were spoken._

" _Crucio."_

_Pain._

_Burning, raging, pain traveled with lightning speed down the back of his neck and along his spine. His extremities locked up with tension. He couldn't remain standing for long. He dropped to his knees, hands gripping his head. ._

_Make it stop! Please make it stop!_

_But it didn't. The agonizing, white hot, searing torment continued, devouring him. But he refused to scream. He wouldn't. He couldn't appear to be weak. That trait could convict him. He had to be stronger than this. He was Malfoy. A pureblood. A survivor._

_A moan was heard and he looked over to the man he was supposed to kill. His dull brown eyes looked at him with that all to familiar pity._

_Anger rose up. He hated when they looked at him that way. Don't pity me! I'm supposed to_ kill _you! He wanted to yell, but the fire in his head was making it hard to focus. His willpower was slowly waning._

" _You can make it stop, Draco." his words were almost lost to him. "You know what you must do."_

" _I…I'll do it!" He cried, wanting nothing more, than for the misery to end._

_Then, as quickly as it had come, the pain vanished. Leaving him to cough and sputter on the floor for a moment._

_He heard a scoff from his right and his eyes shot up._

_Bastien Aldemar, Durmstrang graduate, and fellow wearer of the Dark Mark glared down at him._

_He ignored his stare and rose, gripping his wand tightly._

" _Do this, and we will know you are one of us. Failure to do so will lead to your demise." The Dark Lord said, coming to stand behind him once more. "I hope you make the right decision Draco. I had such high hopes for you."_

 _He swallowed loudly. He had to do this. If he didn't._ He'd _be the one lying on the floor, his eyes dead to the world._

_He stared at the man who'd given him that sympathetic look and pointed his wand. It was sad that this stinking hole would be the last thing the man saw. "Avada Kedavra!"_

* * *

**Saturday, August 29, 1998**

Draco awoke, his heart pounding and sweat glistening on his brow.

He sat up, running his hands through his messy hair. This was the second night in a row he'd had this particular nightmare. The first time he'd killed someone, and the first time he'd been brought nearly to tears in front of one of the younger Death Eaters, Bastien Aldamar. Oh, how he despised that bastard. Salzar only knew where he was now. Probably hiding out in Germany somewhere. Good riddance. That cocky git thought he was something because he was getting trained by the Dark Lord. Well, how'd that turn out huh? With the Dark Lord six feet under, that's how.

He sighed and rummaged under his mattress for his flask. He took a drink, letting the fire rage through him. It was a little too early in the morning to be drinking, but what else could he do? He needed to get his mind off of it somehow, and seeing as how his plans for Granger so far weren't panning out, he'd have to make do with the Firewhiskey sliding down his throat.

_Circe,_ _Already thinking about Granger are we?_

Well, he couldn't bloody help it. Ever since that day in the Astronomy Tower a week ago, he'd been trying to find ways to get to her. He'd thought of nothing but getting her back for making him feel so...unhinged. His efforts thus far, had been fruitless. She was always with the Weaslette, Lovegood, or Potter. Any look or smirk he could give her was brushed off, but he knew he was still effecting her. She'd still blush when she saw him, and was quick to retort whenever he spoke. He couldn't get close to her, though. Maybe that was the reason his nightmares were back.

Fuck his plan of no contact. As much as he loathed to admit it, he _needed_ her.

A plan formed in his head then. He'd seen the way she looked at him when she thought he wasn't looking. She was thinking about him, and quite frequently by the amount of stares he got. She wanted him. He just needed to get her to admit, maybe by offering a no strings attached relationship. It would be a perfect solution for both of them. Would she go for it? That was the question of the century wasn't it?

He took another gulp from the flask before screwing back on the cap and lying back down. He knew exactly where she'd be today.

Diagon Alley.

* * *

 

They hadn't even been able to get away from the school in the last three days. The reconstructions were almost finished, and Hogwarts was looking better than it had before. All their hard work had paid off, but now was not the time to take a break. The first day of school was drawing near and Hermione's sightings of Malfoy had declined. Maybe he'd moved on. A part of her hoped he had while the other half wanted anything but. Ron had also disappeared from the radar. He'd taken up a close friendship with Seamus this summer and they were glued to the hip. It kind of felt like their little Trio was slowly falling apart.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Ginny asked for the third time in five minutes. "I don't think you should go alone."

"Yes, Ginny! You and Harry need some time together before the term starts." Hermione grabbed her bag, still enchanted from her time of running during the war, and headed out the door.

"But what about you?" Her friend asked, following her off the school grounds to meet Harry at the apparition point.

"It's not like I've never gone shopping on my own before."

Harry smiled upon seeing them. "Hello, lovelies."

"Harry, would you please tell Hermione that we would love for her to join us."

He turned to her, a grin plastering his face. "We would love for you to join us."

Ginny rolled her eyes at his obvious attempt at subtlety .

"Really guys. I'm fine." She said, looping her arms through both of theirs, before apparating outside of the Leaky Cauldron. "You should have fun. Godric knows how much time you'll get to spend together this year. We all have N.E.W.T.s and jobs to apply for in the Spring."

"Speak for yourself." Harry mused, wrapping an arm around Ginny's slim waist. "I've already got a job lined up."

"Oh, that's right. You've been scouted as an Auror." Hermione beamed. "I almost forgot!"

"Really, Hermione. Where has your head been lately?" He asked, looking genuinely amused.

Her mind drifted to a pale, tone chest, and infuriating gray eyes. "You don't want to know."

Harry was quiet for a second, choosing his words wisely. "How are things _really_ , Hermione?"

"Already on that are we?"

He nodded. "You're my two best mates, of course, I'm concerned."

"Don't be Harry. It will all work out eventually."

"I'm here for you if you need me," He said, nodding to Ginny. "We both are."

"Thanks, guys, but I'm fine."

"No one is fine after a break-up 'Mione."

"Just…just leave it alone you two. Really. If you spend all afternoon worrying about me, you'll never have any fun." She turned them around and gave a playful shove. "Now scoot!"

"Fine, fine. We get it. You want to be alone." Ginny rolled her eyes. "We'll meet back up at Hogwarts?"

"Yes, see you then."

"Bye!" They called over their shoulders.

The fact that they worried about her, made her feel loved. She knew Ginny and Harry cared for deeply, even Ron probably still did. So that slightly eased the pain residing in her heart. Truthfully she didn't want to be alone. She hated it even. It gave her way to much time to get lost inside her head. And lately, that was becoming a rather unpredictable plight.

She didn’t want to ask Harry and Ginny to be her source of comfort. Ginny was Ron's sister, Harry his best mate, and then there was the fact that they were in love. When you're in love you don't want to dwell on relationships that have gone amiss. You want to remain in your lovey-dovey atmosphere, or that’s what she’d assumed. She’d never been in a relationship where she was constantly giddy and over the moon with affection.

Perhaps that was the flaw in her relationship with her best friend. Maybe they’d been too comfortable as friends. She shook her head. It was pointless to keep going over it. She couldn't change it and she didn’t want to burden anyone with her worries or her numerous, daunting thoughts regarding a particular silver-tongued Slytherin. Those trifling emotions were hers to sort through. _Curses on whoever made women so emotional!_

She decided she wasn't going to let herself get worked up and headed down the street, list of supplies she needed in hand.

**_A few hours later_ **

Hermione had almost finished her shopping and was walking toward the Leaky Cauldron when she heard it. The soft clicking of another set of footfalls behind her.

It shouldn’t be an odd occurrence, considering this was Diagon Alley but for some reason, the fine hairs on the back of her neck rose in warning. She didn't turn her head to look. Instead, she fingered the wand in her pocket. If anyone dared to try to jump her, she'd be ready for them.

She continued down her path and made a few random turns trying to shake her pursuer but the footsteps only seemed to become louder to her ears. Did whoever it was really think she wouldn’t have noticed their presense by now? She opened her purse and stuck her hand in. "Accio blush." She whispered, the small compactor jumping into her hand. She raised the object and opened it with a 'click', proceeding to act as if she was fixing her make-up while her eyes searched for her shadow.

She almost dropped the mirror when she saw the last face she wanted to see today. Draco Malfoy.

_Of all the rotten luck!_

She quickened her pace, ducking down a vacant alleyway and noticed his footsteps still matched hers. When she rounded another corner she halted, waiting for him, wand out and ready. When he reached her she jabbed it into his chest. "Why are you following me?"

He eyed the wand and smirked. "I wasn't aware that I was." He lied, shrugging as if he'd meant it. "I just happen to be going the same place as you."

As if an empty street was a place to be going. "That's called stalking Malfoy, and I wouldn't make a habit of doing it."

He maneuvered around her. "And why would _I_ be stalking _you_?"

"I don't know. _You_ tell _me_. Maybe it's some kind of sick game you play with people you sleep with? To make them squirm?"

He circled her again, moving so that she was backing away from the main street. "That's rich."

"Well, you _are_ a Slytherin. Godric knows what schemes you're on about." She replied.

A slow smile crept on his face."Schemes? You wound me so."

She was slowly starting to feel like leading him to an empty alley was not the wisest decision she'd made that day. "Just sod off, Malfoy. I don't have time for your idiotic games."

"Come now, Granger," He said, moving to block her attempt at fleeing. "You're really going to leave without hearing my proposition?"

"Proposition?" She asked, hand on her hip. "Now, why would I want to hear any propositions you have to offer?"

"Because both parties evolved would benefit _immensely_." He replied, his tone incredibly inviting.

Her stomach fluttered and somewhere below that something stirred. "As _dreamy_ as that sounds, I do believe I'll decline." She tried to cover up her sudden arousal with feigned disinterest. "I’m not looking for a repeat performance and I honestly don't see why you would bother to waste your time with me."

He moved suddenly, getting into her personal space. She backed up until her back came in contact with the brick wall of the building. "I don't know why either! I don't know what you did, Granger, but I can't seem to get you out of my head." He let out an exasperated breath as his hands clenched at his side.

"Sounds like a personal problem." She said, her silky voice laced with sarcasm.

"You've been thinking about me too." He declared, keeping his eyes fixated on her.

 _Stop looking at me like that._ "No, I haven't." She insisted, her voice cracking a bit at the lie. “I haven’t given you much thought at all really.”

The corner of his mouth rose briefly before his lips suddenly collided with hers, causing her breath to catch in her throat. She dropped her bag in surprise. At first, she refused to respond to him, then his devilish tongue swept across her bottom lip causing her to whimper and allow him access. His tongue guided inside and quickly swirled around her own. He stopped his assault after a moment and grinned. "Don't keep lying to yourself, Granger. You know you like this."

She wiped her mouth in disappointment. Although she didn't know which she was more disappointed about, him breaking the kiss, or in herself for allowing it in the first place. "You wish."

"And what if I do?"

She knew it was the truth. She could see in his eyes, in the way he stood,  in the way he'd just kissed her. And for a moment there, she'd wanted him to do more, but she couldn't. She couldn't allow herself to submit to her more carnal desires. "Then that's too bad, because what happened that night was a one-time thing."

He frowned. "Was it?"

"You said so yourself." She tried to sound confident but the slight shaking in her voice betrayed her.

"Maybe I've changed my mind." He offered, inclining his head forward, dangerously close to retaking her mouth.

"Well, I haven't!" She gave him a shove, effectively pushing him off of her, and headed back towards civilization.

"You will." He stated, his voice calm and alluring.

She spun around, curls bouncing as she did so. "What makes you think you know what I _will_ and _will not_ do?"

" _We're far past the point of stopping_." He mocked her. "I _want_ you."

"Ok, what if I did? It doesn’t change anything. I was drunk and trying to get over what Ron said to me!" She yelled.

"And _I_ needed something to get my mind off my past. So we were both using each other. So what? There's nothing wrong with that."

"What are you getting at Malfoy?"

"I think you bloody know, Granger." He replied, pulling her into him once again and kissing her hard. She didn't even try to fight back this time. Her hands gripped his shirt as he propelled them backward, towards the building once more. Her knees buckled in anticipation. She wanted to let her mind shut down, and let him take over. His hands were working their way up her body while hers were undoing the collar at his throat. He shifted, pressing her back against the wall and running a hand up her shirt. She broke their kiss to bite the flesh at the base of his throat and her body shivered in delight as he moaned softly somewhere near her ear.

His fingers had found her right nipple and he squeezed lightly, causing her to inhale sharply. She claimed his lips again, wanting to breathe in everything about him. Wanting to feel him move inside of her. God, the things he could do with that sinful mouth of his! She wanted to be lost in him.

Then her brain had decided to be a major cock block, and kick back in.

 _You **shouldn't** be doing this. You don't **want** to do this. You **can't** do this, _The voice inside her head was say. _He's still Malfoy! Still a Slytherin and a former Death Eater. A **murderer**. _

She broke away from their heated exchange and pushed against his chest. He withdrew his hand from her shirt and looked down at her, confusion and unchecked longing in his eyes. As much as he didn't look the part, as much as she wanted to just forget that particular part of his confession, he _was_ a murderer.

She may be able to see the human beneath the surface now, but the facts were still the facts.  He was still dangerous. Everything about him _screamed_ instability, down to the very smirk he wore. He was a being she wasn't capable of understanding yet, with unknown powers that she was sure exceeded her own. He'd committed such atrocities, that the very _thought_ of sleeping with him should appall her.

He'd even said so himself. That he was a monster. But she found herself shaking her head. No, he was a tormented soul, laden with guilt and haunted by his past. He may have done terrible things but he'd done good things too. He'd saved her. He lied about Harry. He’d somewhat changed his alliance in the end. He was just as much a victim of his circumstances as they were. He'd been a hesitant participate in a lethal war. A _murderer_ , yet _unwillingly_ so.

Knowing that did nothing to ease her growing anxiety, though. Everything he did, he did for a reason. He was calculative, she knew that. This wasn’t about anything other than sex. He wanted to use her, no doubt to help momentarily forget about his past. Why would he even suggest such a thing? He knew bloody well that she loved Ron. She'd never let herself agree to something like this. She would be lying if she said she _hadn't_ been thinking about shagging the blonde but that was beside the point.

She looked into his fiery eyes. "So what is this? An invitation for a continued physical relationship with you?"

"Yes."

"Well, the answer is no." She seethed, letting her anger overpower her wanting. "What reason would I have-"

"Why do you always need a reason? We don't need a _reason_ , Granger, we only need a place." He replied in irritation. "But perhaps if you really _need_ a reason then we've already got one. We both need a distraction from our pathetic lives. We need more than just a one-off."

She ignored the jab that he thought her life was pathetic because honestly she did too.

What got her was the fact he thought she wouldn't contend. And why did he even want to sleep with her again? Did he not even care that she was the filthy little Mudblood that he despised so much? Apparently Malfoy really wasn't as interested in blood status as he’d said before. Or maybe it didn’t factor in when he thinking with his dick. "I understand what you are saying, but I’m not a bloody slag that will sleep with anyone, Malfoy. I have morals. Yes I slept with you that night, and yes I bloody well enjoyed it, but I'm not going to stoop so low as to do it again for your personal pleasure."

He was coming dangerously close to her again. She could feel his breath, hot on her face. "So it's _beneath_ you to sleep with me now? Just a moment ago your actions told a different story. But, I understand. You want to be _untainted_ when Ronnikins decides he wants you back."

Her mouth dropped. Was he that in tune with her mind?

"That's fine, Granger. But don't come crying to me when Weasley rejects you again. Because I'll just turn my head and leave you to cry on the floor by yourself, like the worthless rubbish you are." He hadn't meant for it to come out so harshly, but as it was, he was already horny and nearing on the edge of being pissed.

She, on the other hand, was already there. Her hand came up and she couldn't stop it from colliding with the side of his face. She backed away from him slowly when she'd realized what she'd done.

His face didn't show the anger that he was feeling, but his eyes did. Cold. Hard. Dangerous. Those eyes glared at her as he glided forward, taking her arm and pulling her roughly, forcing her to follow him down the dark alley, where he proceeded to slam her into a wall. She winced as he pushed his body flush against hers.

"You're heading down a slippery slope, Granger." He hissed in her ear. "As smart as you are you’re a bit of a slow learner, so listen up. I'll let you talk to me any way you want, but I will _not_ allow you to hit me. I think I've been rather courteous to you so far, but that can change if you want it to. I have no problems getting a little rough."

She felt like she couldn't breathe. She'd never been particularly _scared_ of Malfoy, and she wasn’t necessarily scared of him now, but his tone was slightly threatening and she'd seen what he could do without his wand. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little concerned by his behavior

"I only came here to tell you that I can help you forget all about your dear little Ronnikins but if you want to play this little game of mind over matter, then by all means go ahead. Delude yourself into thinking you don't want my touch but you do."

He made his point by rubbing his hand against her clothed slit. Her body jerked in pleasure, and she tried to still herself. She didn't want him. She didn't. She didn't! But her body wasn't listening. She could already feel the added dampness between her legs.

"See….you can deny it all you want, and you can say you don't want me until you're blue in the face, but your body knows what it wants." He kissed her neck and another bout of chills ran up her spine.

"I don't answer to my body, Malfoy."

" _Yet_." He whispered, biting her ear and moving to unbutton her pants.

Her stomach plummeted. "Malfoy….stop,” she pleaded, hating herself for sounding so weak, but she was frozen. Normally he’d be getting a hex to the face. She wasn’t one to take shit from anyone, but she felt conflicted. A part of her wanted to get the hell away from him and another part of her wanted to stay right where she was and let him finish what he’d started. She just needed time to figure out which one she should listen to. “Stop.”

She felt a sudden chill as the warmth of his body left her. She looked up at him, her eyes searching his for a moment as he spoke softly, "Merlin, I'm not going to hurt you Granger…." His hand moved to wipe a stray strand of hair out of her face. "So please stop looking at me like that."

Her brows knitted in confusion and he leaned down, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.

She breathed deeply. "Why? Why are you doing this? You’re confusing me. I don’t- Just stop."

When she didn't say anything else, he moved away from her, fixing his skewed shirt, and spoke with honesty. "I can't, I don’t know how."

She looked at him once more before grabbing her fallen bag, and quickly retreating down the alley, his sultry voice calling after her. "I won’t bother you anymore, but you _will_ want me again, Granger! I promise you that!"

She ran back toward the sound of voices. She needed to get away from the man that consumed her, away from her own fear that he was right about everything. She ran until her lungs ached, and she didn't stop running until she collided into someone's back, dropping her bag in the process.

"S..sorry." She apologized, stooping down to pick up her belongings.

"Blimey, Hermione," She never thought she'd be so comforted by that familiar voice. "Are you alright?"

She looked up into warm, blue eyes as he helped her to her feet. "Ron…"

"Ya look like ya've seen a ghost." Came Seamus's voice next to him.

She never felt so happy, and so awful, to see them. "I…I'm fine."

"You sure?" Ron asked, looking as though he didn't quite believe her. He did know her after all.

"Yes. I…uh just thought someone was following me."

Both boys looked around in alarm, positioning themselves on either side of her in a protective stance. She knew fully well that things were sort of over between her and Ron, but she also knew he still cared for her, and she took solace in that. He grabbed her arm, locking it with his, and started walking.

"Have you gotten everything you came for?" Seamus asked, still looking around for anyone suspicious.

"No, I still need to order one of my books."

"We'll go with you," Ron said quickly. "Don't worry."

She smiled weakly, shame and relief washing over her. "Thanks."

As they headed toward Flourish and Blott's a few moments later, she thought she saw a glimpse of blonde pass her peripheral vision. She choked back the nagging sensation in the back of her throat. Visions of his eyes played through her mind, along with the intense feeling in her groin. She felt oddly misplaced as Ron's arm rubbed against hers. It wasn't an indecent act. She'd touched him many times, intimate and not. Yet she'd never felt it was odd to do so. So why did it feel so strange now?

It had to be that sense of morale that plagued her Gryffindor heart. She'd betrayed him by being with Malfoy, even if they hadn't been together. Maybe she was feeling guilty. Maybe she didn't think she could be with Ron after this. But she found that she still envisioned herself with the red head, living with him, sleeping with him, bearing his children. So why was it that her mind still drifted to that alley five minutes ago, when that dangerously seductive body had clung so tightly to her own?

The sick realization hit her like a thousand, stinging hexes. Even though she still loved the boy whose arm was interlocked with her own; it wasn't his touch she wanted at the moment. He’d been right. She did want him.

"Malfoy, you prat, get out of my head." She whispered, clinging to Ron's arm. Her final year was starting soon, this was the last thing she needed to be worrying about.

_I don’t answer to my body, Malfoy._

She may not, but he sure as hell did.

Draco ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know it would feel this horrible watching her bouncing curls as she ran away from him. He'd let his desire cloud his judgment. He only wanted to put into words what he knew they both wanted but it had backfired. He'd lost his self-control and tried to shag her in the middle of the sodding alley. Not to mention he'd offended her and ended up getting slapped. _That_ little incident did nothing to help his declining mood. He'd come so close to hurting her, and it would have been so easy to take what he wanted and be done with it, but that wasn’t something he was comfortable with. Having the capacity to do something and actually doing it was different. He’d never taken someone against their will before and he wasn’t about to start now. Especially not with Granger. She was still the stubborn little Princess she'd always been and she wouldn’t give in so easily. He’d just have to be more patient.

He growled in irritation as his still throbbing erection demanded his attention. Damn, that prissy, sexy, Gryffindor.

Malfoy's were patient and level headed, but he didn't know how much more he could take. It infuriated him to no end, that she had taken _everything_ that made him… _him_ , and stripped it down to almost nothing. Here he was, Draco Malfoy, former Death Eater, and pureblood aristocrat, standing in an alley with a raging hard on, and all because of that stubborn, annoying witch. He should be ashamed of how pathetic he was being right now. So why wasn't he?

He bit his lip. Granger was doing something to him. Ever since the night of the party, he'd no longer been the same. Maybe he really _had_ been polluted by her blood? Yeah right. Like that had anything to do with it. He should be more honest with himself. He'd been harboring fantasies of fucking the mudblood senseless since fourth year, most of which consisted of him stalking her down a corridor and ravishing her in an empty classroom, but that wasn't really the issue here. He'd never, in his wildest dreams, thought he'd actually do it, and maybe that's why he was so bloody enthralled by her, now that he had.

She appealed to all of his senses. He couldn’t forget the way she’d tasted, like caramel toffee and vanilla, or the way she sounded as her orgasm peaked. Her skin was smooth and smelled like the moisturizer she’d probably been using for years. He'd never known how sexy she was  until he’d gotten ahold of her. It wasn’t just her intelligence that did it for him, she’d also seemed like she’d be daring and bold in bed too, just as she was in school or on the battlefield. Maybe that was another factor for why he was so turned on. She was unpredictable, deliciously so.

_Fuck._

The growing need for release overwhelmed him, and he glanced down the deserted alley. He couldn't believe he was even considering this. It made him sick to think he would subject himself to such a humiliating act. He took a deep breath and unbuckled his pants, pulling his arousal free from his trousers.

_Granger….damn you._

He closed his eyes and ran his hand down the length of his shaft, gathering the already present moisture from the tip and using it as a lubricant. He pumped a few times, still horrified that he was desperate enough to be doing this, here of all places.

His thoughts turned from his present situation to the look on Grangers' face as he'd kissed her. Those pink, swollen lips, allowing him access. He could hear her soft groans and feel her hot body against him.

Images of Granger on her knees, smoky eyes looking up playfully, flashed through his mind. He sped up his strokes, thinking about how it would feel to have those delicious lips wrapped tightly around his cock, sucking, licking sweetly, taking all of him into her mouth.

_Fuck. Hot, so bloody hot._

He leaned forward, his fevered brow resting against cool stones.

Granger, sexy, wild, Granger, rolling her tongue over the head, swirling gently at the tip, teasing, enticing moans. Madness. Pure, madness overtook him. His breath increased, as his motions became erratic.

He envisioned himself, pressed against her tight heat, her nails raking the flesh of his back. Warm, slick walls pulsing around him. Brown, half-lidded eyes, beckoning for more.

 _Close…so close_.

Her seductive voice calling out his name. " _Draco_."

He saw white as he came, seed spurting, coating his hand and the wall in front of him.

 _Blast!_ He’d really just done that…and while thinking about Granger no less!

"Scourgify." He whispered, leaving no trace of his disgraceful actions, and fixing his pants.

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he made his way back to the bustling street where he'd left Blaise. As he neared the shop he caught sight of red hair and hissed despite himself. Fucking Weasley. There were plenty of things he wanted to do to the bloody git. He was the whole bloody reason Draco was in this mess. If the Weasel hadn't stomped on Grangers' heart, he wouldn't have offered her that sodding drink. Then he wouldn't have slept with her and eventually ended up barking mad, lusting after her like some dog in heat.

_Fuck that annoying prick!_

Then his eyes grazed over a mane of thick, curly hair, standing next to him, her arm looped through his. He saw red. If he'd been thinking he would have known instantly the feeling raging through his veins. But jealousy over a woman was an ugly, and foreign concept to the Slytherin. There was no room for any thoughts in his head. There was only one thing he was thinking, as the subject of his primitive desires, walked off with her ex.

The weasel could go fuck himself.

Hermione Granger was going to be his.


	7. Tears aren't my cup of Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make me feel so wrong, Malfoy! You come onto me every chance you get! And I see you and it makes me think everything I ever knew and felt was a lie! I feel so alive when I'm with you but it's not right! It makes my head spin. You kiss me and it makes me want you even though I know I shouldn't!

**August 30, 1998**

Hermione was feeling a lot better about her current situation at the moment. She'd spent the remainder of yesterday with Ron and Seamus, and it felt just like it used to. She'd laughed with them, and she and Ron had talked. Just like they did when they were best friends. She thought maybe things could work out, and that thought made her forget her conflicting emotions about a certain Slytherin who just wouldn't stop sneaking into her mind.

He'd honestly scared the wits out of last night. He'd been so close, and so…menacin _g, yes that was the right word,_ that she thought for a moment that he might force himself on her. He hadn't of course, and even kissed her gently, leaving her more confused than she'd been the day after their little affair.

Then there was the slap. She could still feel the cool skin of his cheek on her palm. It had happened so fast. She was unprepared for the anger in his eyes. His reaction was a far cry from the one she’d seen in third year when she’d punched him in the face.

This time he didn’t run away, sniveling. No, this time he had the upper hand.

His parting words still rang in her ears.

" _You'll want me again Granger. I promise you that."_

The arrogance in that statement pissed her off now. It was like he was inside her head. Maybe he was. He  _was_ quite practiced in the Dark Arts after all. Maybe he could peer into her thoughts whenever he wanted.

She shivered at the idea. There was  _no_ way he could read her mind. She just wouldn't bloody believe that.

So while his parting words still haunted her, she'd tried to forget him. When she was with Ron she wanted him to see her happy. She was happy being with him. Maybe if they could just hang out…just talk like they had last night then maybe they could be together soon. Now if she could only get her body to agree with her. It took all night for her skin to stop tingling where Malfoy had touched her.

No. she wasn't going to think about that. She was leaving that in the past and looking forward to a future, where she could be with Ron.

She was sitting in the Great Hall with everyone now. McGonagall was addressing the crowd and making a closing speech about the Reconstruction.

"Thank all of you for your hard work and sacrifices this summer. You chose to stay and help rebuild your school instead of going home for the summer holiday."

Hermione inwardly cringed. It wasn't like she had anywhere, besides the Burrow maybe, to go for Holiday. Her parents still thought they were childless and living in Australia. In fact, Kingsley hadn't given her word about their current whereabouts for a month now. She didn't even know if they were ok. She shoved the thought into the back of her mind. She didn't have room for all her worries as it was.

McGonagall was still talking. "the other students begin to arrive tomorrow night. So I suggest you enjoy your last night of freedom before school rules come into effect. Just because you all have had a long year doesn't mean that we will be lenient. All the same rules and punishments will apply. Have fun while you can, but try not to have too much _fun_."

Hermione smirked at her professor's incredulous look as she turned around and took her leave. Hermione glanced over at her table mates. Seamus was smiling and he leaned across the table. "Party tonight in the Great Common!" He called out. "Everyone's invited!"

Everyone whooped, including Hermione. She had a good reason to celebrate. It was her final year, and things could only go up from here.

Or so she thought.

* * *

The night had started out well enough. A few of her peers were drunk, Harry included, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Hermione was having fun as well. Much to her surprise. She and Ginny had already banned Harry from flying his broomstick, as he was trying unsuccessfully to mount it in the hallway, and they'd seen Luna in the corner with Dean, snuggled up close. Which had Neville looking at her, a quite lonely expression on his face, while he sipped on his drink and talked to Ernie.

Seamus was with a seventh year, teaching her how to shoot muggle pool, and Terry Boot was grinning madly as he took a shot with Mary Brocklehurst. No doubt thinking he was going to get lucky tonight.

Nearly everyone that had been helping with the Reconstruction was here tonight. The only faces she hadn't seen, that she was sure she would, were Ron's and…Malfoy's. She could do without seeing the latter, but she had hoped Ron would show up. She'd been surprised to see Seamus walk in without him. They'd been doing everything together.

When she'd asked him where Ron was, Seamus had just shrugged and went back to his game.

So when she looked at the door a few minutes later, her stomach dropped.

"Hermione? Want a drink?" Ginny was asking.

She couldn't answer.

Ron…Ron was here.

And so was Malfoy.

But he wasn’t alone. Pasny's arms looped around him. She felt her face flush and his eyes locked with hers. So much for him wanting her so bloody bad. She scrunched up her face and tore her eyes from him. Instead she looked at Ron, wishing immediately that she hadn't. He had his arms around some girl she didn't recognize and his lips were planted flush against hers. Her heart stilled. She hadn't realized how much she'd gotten her hopes up last night until this very moment.

She looked back at Ginny and snatched the glass out of her hand, downing it in one, long gulp.

"Whoa! The bloody hell? Slow down, Hermione!" Ginny gasped.

Hermione wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Sorry. I'm just going to get another drink. Want one?"

Ginny nodded slowly.

"Right! Be right back!" she replied, her voice forcefully cheery.

She brought back a two drinks and handed one to Ginny, who took it and raised a brow. "What's gotten into you?" She asked as Hermione downed her second glass.

" _That_." She said pointing at Ron settled on a couch with the girl in his lap. "That is what's gotten into me."

"That bloody git!" Ginny shrieked. "Harry! Hold my drink!"

Harry reached for it but Hermione stopped him. "No, Ginny! It's not worth it…"

Harry looked over at Ron and made a face. "I don't understand why he 'as to be sooo blunt 'bout it. It's like he's doing it on purpose….if I was sober I’d-"

"But you aren’t, Harry, so forget about it. Just let me drink and forget I ever laid eyes on him." She sighed.

Ginny still looked pissed but she nodded. "Well he'll still be hearing from me later."

Harry nodded, "Me too."

She smiled. "Thanks." Her heart was aching terribly. She needed another drink. She headed to the snack bar. She was slightly tipsy…but she wanted to be sloshed. So drunk that she'd stop loving Ron, but not so much that she'd make another mistake and sleep with some random Slytherin.

When she reached her destination, she didn't notice who it was that was standing next to her until she heard her laugh. She turned to look at the girl, the one who had been attached to Ron's lips just minutes before.

She frowned, and with the liquid courage surging through her veins, made a move. "So, what hole did you crawl out of?"

Oh Godric was that her? Did she really just say that?

The girl gave a startled look. "Excuse me?"

"Since when have you and Ron been so close?"

"Since he left my room last night. Why the hell do you car- Oh!" She cried, a smirk tugging at her lips. "I know you! You're Hermione! Harry Potter’s side kick and Ron’s ex. And if I recall he dumped you a few days ago.."

"He was my friend long before we were a…couple. But that's not the issue here. Why are you hanging all over him? It makes you look just a tad trashy, to be honest."

The girl laughed coldly. "Honest? You want to be honest do you? Well here's some honesty for you. You aren't with Ron anymore. So you have  _no_ right to even talk to me, let alone call me names. And while we're being _honest_ …let me tell you something else." Her eyes narrowed. "You're nothing to him. You're a jealous bint that no one likes. Why do you think you came here alone tonight?"

Hermione was shocked. How dare this girl talk to her like this. "I came alone because I wanted to."

"Yeah right. You came alone because no one would want to be with a stuck up slag that thinks she’s knows everything. Ron certainly doesn't. That's why he's been snogging me all night and not you."

"You little bitch! My being smart didn't have anything to do with our break up!"

"Is that what you think? Well go ahead and believe it. But the truth is…no one wants you. No one would want to be with an ugly, condescending, frizzy haired bookworm."

"That's not true." She said in hushed tones.

"Isn't it?" The girl crooned. "Prove it then. Go and kiss the first guy you see. And if they push you away then you have to admit that you're jealous and that no one wants you."

She felt like she was going to kill this girl. How dare she! How  _dare_ she! She looked around the room and caught sight of Malfoy, staring at her and the girl. She could do this…she could. This didn't mean she wanted the bloke. She would just kiss him and prove to this little bitch that someone wanted her and that would be the end of it. She noticed that only a handful of people were around her. This could work.

"Fine! I will prove it!" She hissed, turning on her heels and making her way to Malfoy.

He raised a brow as she walked up to him and said, “Hold still, Malfoy.”

“Granger, What are you-“ His eyes widened in shock as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him viciously. She wasn’t surprised when he didn't push her away. She felt his hands brush against her hips and she knew it had lasted too long. This was dangerous. People would be looking by now.

She quickly ended the kiss and smirked, backing up and giving the stupid slag the finger. Before she turned around she caught Draco bringing a finger to his lips.

She had to get out of here. Her blood was boiling and her kiss with Malfoy had her stomach tingling again. She was so bloody stupid for letting herself succumb to stupid taunts. But it felt good to bloody stupid sometimes. It gave her a rush to kiss Malfoy in front of people. She'd done it out of spite toward the girl and maybe a bit towards Ron. Sure that may lead to some questions from her friends later, but right now she didn't care. And she didn't really care that her heart was beating wildly at the thought of kissing him again...just how far will she fall this night?

She didn't want to think about it, so she downed another drink and headed for a door, slipping away from the crowd and disappearing into the empty halls.

* * *

Draco hadn't wanted to go to the party. He hadn't wanted to see if Granger had gone and made up with Weasly. He was still struggling with the image of him walking down street with her yesterday.  _Fucking prat_.

"Draco? Draco, are you coming or not?" Pansy asked, leaning against the doorframe.

He rolled over on his side. "Not?"

"Come on, mate." Blaise commented. "It's the last time we'll be able to have one for a while. Out in the open that is."

"Why would I want to go to a bloody Gyffindor party?"

Blaise smiled. "Free alcohol?"

"You know me to well it seems." He groaned, sitting up. "Fine, I'll go."

Pansy perked up. "It's been awhile since we've all hung out together."

"There's reasons for that.'' he hissed under his breath.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing." He said loudly, getting up and pulling on a black, button-up, dress shirt.

"Let me help you with that." Pansy offered, walking towards him.

Blaise held out his hand. "I think he can dress himself."

Draco nodded his head at Blaise. "Quite right."

Pansy backed away, clearly upset but not muttering another word.

They'd met up with some other housemates and headed for the Great Common. It seemed like he wasn't the only one taken with a Gryffindor. Daphne Greengrass had seen McLaggen in the hall and the pink that dusted across her cheeks hadn't escaped Draco's notice. It eased his mind a little, knowing that he wasn't alone in his shenanigans.

To his undying irritation, Pansy leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "You know, I was thinking…we haven't been together in a while. Why don't we head out early tonight.” She whispered. “Go somewhere a bit more _private_?"

He almost laughed in her face. "I'm afraid I have plans."

"What kind of plans? It's a party?'

"I have someone I plan on talking to later." He replied.

"Is it another girl?"

"And if it is?" He asked, "Not too keen on sharing?"

"No, that's not it." She replied, her face a bit ashen.

"Spare me, Pasny. You know I don't like clingy girls."

She bit her lip as they entered the room. "I'm not trying to be clingy."

He was about to retort when he saw her. The object of his restless nights, rosy faced, laughing, and hanging onto Potter.

He watched her for a moment until her eyes met his. She then made a face, and turned away.

He felt Pansy wrap her arm tighter around his. Suddenly he felt disgusted. Though he had no idea why. "Pansy…Let. Go. Of. Me."

Pansy made a sour face and grunted. "You can be such a prat sometimes, Draco."

He smiled to himself. Now, where had he heard that before? "Yes, well that isn't going to change, so you should just move on to the next bloke already."

Her face flushed and she shot him an angry look before stalking off with Daphne.

He turned his attention back to Granger. She was downing a drink and glaring across the room, pointing at something. His eyes followed to where she pointed. The weasel was cuddled up with some girl and obviously Granger was pissed off about it.

_She_ might be pissed off, but he was far from it.

He watched her for a while, making sure to talk when spoken too and act like he wasn't staring down the mudblood, and he was doing a bloody good job of keeping himself in check until he noticed her talking to a petite raven haired girl at the snack bar. They were exchanging heated words. He could tell this by studying Granger's body language. It didn't take long to recall who the girl had come to the party with. It had been the shite for brains Weasly. Yes. He could see this going well.

He kept his eyes glued on them, waiting to see if a fist fight would break out between the two bickering girls. When it didn't, he sighed. He was looking forward to a good row. Instead, he found a pair of angry brown eyes boring down on him from across the room.

She was gliding towards him, almost in a near run. And before he could process what she was doing, she threw her arms around him. “Hold still, Malfoy.”

“Granger, what are you-“ He didn’t get a chance to finish his question.  She was already kissing him, hard, and almost ravenous, causing him to take a staggering step back. His hands moved on their own to rest on her hips, but then she jerked away from him.

It was for the best.

He’d almost forgotten they were in a room full of people.

She stepped away from him and glared back at the girl across the room, lifting her middle finger in the air.

Those who'd witnessed the incident stood silently, mouths open in shock. Surely wondering what had possessed Mudblood Granger to kiss Draco Malfoy. Really, he didn't blame them. He was wondering that himself.

"Draco, what the  _fuck_ was that about?" Pansy shrieked, being the first one to say anything.

"I…I haven’t a fucking clue." he replied. But he was going to find out.

* * *

Ginny's eyes searched the room for her friend. She was nowhere to be seen, but Blaise Zabini was. She left Harry with Neville and told them she'd be back.

He eyed her as she came up to stand in front of him. "To what do I owe this pleasure, Weasly?"

"Do you know where Hermione is?"

"No, I haven't seen her since her little act earlier. Why do you ask?"

"Well my brother's being a mighty foul git tonight. She's upset and I just thought maybe she went to talk to you again.."

_Again? When had they talked in the first place?_ "I don't know what you mean."

"The other night." She said, a look of confusion sweeping her features. "She got drunk and talked to you."

Ah hah. So Granger was lying to her friends now? Interesting. It seemed he was the only one who knew about his mates little escapade with the muggleborn. "Oh yes, she was spouting all kinds of things about…your brother."

"So you haven't seen her?"

"No. But if I do, you'll be the first to know."

"Thanks." She replied with a smile. "Weren't you here with Malfoy?" She asked, looking around.

"I was." And the bloody bloke had left him to the Gryffindor's.

"Where did he run off to?"

"Where indeed?" He answered, not being able to contain the smirk that crept upon his lips. If Granger wasn't here, he had a pretty good notion as to where Draco could be found

* * *

Draco had seen her leave out the side door and quickly gotten up from his seat, not bothering to excuse himself from his "friends" conversations. He heard Pansy asking him where he was going, but he ignored her.

He followed Granger down the hall, silently matching his steps with hers. She was talking to herself. Muttering about Ron and the girl…and then he grinned. She was muttering curses about him as well.

They were nearing the washroom and he couldn't stop his arms from wrapping themselves around her waist and dragging her into it. Hopefully there were no occupants inside. He knew he wouldn't be able to contain himself much longer. Not now, not after that kiss.

"I was wondering when you'd finally decide it was time to corner me, Malfoy." She sighed, when he released her.

"Well I couldn't help it, what with your actions earlier _screaming_ for me to do so." He responded, cocking his head.

"Don't make me laugh. I did that out of a dare. You really think you affect me that much?" She laughed dryly.

"I  _know_ I do."

"Hah, well whatever, Malfoy. If this about your proposition, my answer is still no."

He frowned. "Is it?"

"Yes."

"Even knowing that Weasly is snuggled up with what’s-her-face?" He asked, stepping closer to her.

A look of disdain crossed her features. "Back off. I don't like the way you make me feel."

"Well I'm not particularly pleased by how you make me feel either, Granger." He folded his arms. "Kissing me in front of a whole group of people then denying my advances when we're alone."

"Oh I'm getting to you am I?" She smirked. "Damn me and my filthy blood. Am I getting the Slytherin prince all hot and bothered? My apologies your majesty."

"I’d watch what you say." He ground out through clenched teeth.

"It's a mockery, Malfoy. You are playing games. And I want no part of them."

"I'm not the one playing games, Granger. I thought I made myself pretty clear yesterday." He hissed. "You’re the one with the fucked up signals. I want you. I thought that pretty clear and simple."

"There is nothing  _simple_ about that statement." She retorted. "I am  _nothing_. A  _mudblood_. Your  _enemy_. You wanting me is totally uncharacteristic of you. You're a  _Malfoy_. What’s in it for you, besides using it against me later?"

"Are you listening to yourself right now? I already told you. I want an outlet and you’re it. I don't care about your stupid blood anymore."

"How can I trust a word that comes out of your mouth?"

"Why does it have to be about trust? Why can't it be about getting what we know we both want? It doesn't  _have_ to be emotional, Granger."

"Well it may not be a problem for  _you_ to have emotionless sex But...I can't …I can't seem to get my head around the idea and find it quite offensive."

"Why should that matter? Merlin, you Gryffindor’s are quite a bother. Why is it a problem when you want it just as much as I do? Why do you have to bloody think about it?  I want you. Do you have any idea what you do to me? Do you?"

She shook her head and he advanced, backing her up, once again, into a wall.

"You make me bloody crazy! I can't concentrate. I'm always thinking about you. You have no idea what you made me do in that alley yesterday! I…I couldn't control my desire for you!" He yelled. He didn't want to think about what he'd done. He wasn't some sick bastard that got off in public. But he'd bloody went and done just that hadn't he? And all because of this bloody woman in front of him. "When I see you all I want to do is take you back to my room and fuck you bloody senseless! And don't act like you don't think about me too. I see the way you look at me!" He shouted, grabbing her shoulders and smashing his lips into her half parted ones.

Hands groped, teeth clashed, and fury rose as they kissed, both greedily taking what they both wanted. But as she always did, Hermione pushed away when she felt her growing need.

"Stop! Just stop!" she cried. "You…Why are you doing this? You make me feel so wrong, Malfoy! You come onto me every chance you get! And I see you and it makes me think everything I ever knew and felt was a lie! I feel so alive when I'm with you but it's not right! It makes my head spin. You kiss me and it makes me want you even though I know I shouldn't! I hate it! I can't stand feeling like that! Why are you doing this to me? Why do you want me? Why?"

"I….I don't know." He admitted, quietly.

"Does it make you happy, Malfoy? To see me a bloody mess all the time? To see me squirm under your gaze-?"

"No-"

"-to see me on the verge of tears over Ron? What more do you want from me? Do you want me to beg on my knees and grovel at your feet?"

His thoughts traveled to his earlier fantasies. That would be entertaining…but now was not the time to bring it up. "No I-"

But she was interrupting him again. "Then what? You want the satisfaction of knowing that you've won? That you've utterly confused me and now I don't know which way is up anymore?" Her eyes were a darkened pool of lust as she stepped forward.

"Granger, what are you-"

She launched herself at him, causing both of them to crash to the floor. Her lips were on his and she nipped at him hungrily, her legs moving to straddle him. He liked when women took control, but this, he wasn't expecting. He moved his arms around her, deepening their kiss. Gods she was amazing. She tasted of wine and apples? And it was driving him mad. He sat up, pulling her up with him. He wanted to take her right then and there, on the bathroom floor. Who cared if anyone came in? He sure as hell didn't. And as much as she was spouting off about not wanting emotionless sex, she sure was snogging him good.

He pulled her legs around him, her core pressed firmly against his slowly growing need. He rocked his hips up, causing them both to shudder against the pressure. He wanted to magic their clothes away. He wanted to absorb all her marvelous heat. Feel her, all of her, wrapped around him. "Ah, Granger….so sexy." He breathed huskily as she sucked his ear lobe into her mouth.

This was what he'd wanted for the last four days. His distraction…his desires…his lust….all muddled together in a passionate embrace. In  _her_  passionate embrace. He trailed kisses along her jaw line, biting the soft flesh at the base of her neck. Yes. He wanted this. To taster her, to feel her. All the visions he'd had back in that horrid alley came rushing back. He wanted her brown eyes to look upon him with the desire he knew was in his own.

He rocked his hips again, enticing another moan from her. She tugged at his hair as he kissed her neck, his hands running up her shirt, feeling the soft curves of her hip, her slim stomach, her plump breasts that were unfairly hidden from him in her normal attire. "See...you're loving this." He cooed in her ear. "Why have you fought it so long?" She didn't answer and he continued massaging her breast with his nimble fingers. She felt...like silk under his hands. He was coming dangerously close to flipping her onto her back and yank her clothes off her body, when he heard something disturbing in his ear.

A sniffle.

Was she? She couldn't be? "Granger?"

He stopped his movements and leaned back to look at her.

She broke away from him and knotted her hands in the front of his black shirt. "Are you happy now, Malfoy? You've won. I'm completely broken." She said, tears springing in her eyes.

Happy? He was far from it as he looked upon her, her body shaking and her eyes moist. No. This wasn't what he wanted. Bullying her into submission. Sure, he'd wanted her to want him but not like this.

Not with her crying.

"Get off me, Granger."

"Why?" She asked, leaning forward. "This was what you wanted…"

"Get off. Now." He said, his voice more commanding. "I don't…you've been drinking."

"That didn't stop you the other night…"

He pushed her backwards, moving to get out from underneath her. "No, I don't want this" He stood up, looking down at her, hair wild and eyes wide.

"But you just said-"

"I know what I fucking said!" He snapped. "But I'm not interested in your tears…or breaking you. So if you really want me you’ll find me when you're ready to admit you want it,  _without_  some slag hanging all over Weasel prompting you to do so."

They were both silent for a moment, glaring at each other. "You're a bloody bastard, Malfoy!" She suddenly spat, getting up and wiping angry tears from her eyes.

"Yes, well I’ve been called worse."

"Malfoy!"

"Good night, Granger." He called, briskly walking out of the bathroom. He needed to get out of there. His heart was slamming against his ribcage and he didn't understand why. Why did it bother him so much that he'd made her cry? He'd made a lot of girls cry.  Shit, he probably made Pansy cry a less than ten minutes ago. So why were Granger’s tears effecting him so much?

He didn't think about it as he made his way back to his room. Even if she had been crying. She had admitted she wanted him. So that meant he'd gotten somewhere right?

He'd finally achieved one of his goals, and made her admit to her desires. Why did he feel so bloody awful about it?

* * *

**_Azkaban_ **

**_Cell Block 1,568D_ **

The wind howled and the sound of waves breaking against hard stone could be heard as Lucius Malfoy paced his cell in a mad daze. It had been 112 days since his imprisonment and 102 days since he'd seen his wife and son. He'd been allowed to send letters, brief of course, but he'd received only a few in return. Draco hadn't even bothered to respond.

His sons disrespect and disregard for his well-being irked him to no end and his irritation only grew into anger as the days wore on. He had nothing but time after all, and he spent it mulling over his past actions and deeds, and how his son had turned his back on him. He hadn't even said a word in his defense at the hearing. Draco had escaped doing time, thanks to Harry Potter, but he hadn't been so lucky.

The evidence was stacked against him. There was no hope for him. He'd spend the rest of his miserable life rotting away in this prison with nothing but the nagging wind for company.

"Mr. Malfoy." A low voice called from the doorway.

He looked over at the barred window. Had he heard his name? That was impossible. No one was allowed visitors their first five years, if at all. Especially not him.

He inched forward, fearful of what may be on the other side of the steel. He'd heard and seen many things in his nights at Azkaban. Enough to know that many sort of unearthly creatures roamed its halls ready to spring on anyone crazy enough to dare try to escape.

"Hello?" He cracked, his voice raw from going unused for months. "Who's there?"

He took a chance and peered out between the bars. "Hello?"

A guard moved in front of the door, startling him. "Mr. Malfoy." he spoke. "You have a visitor."

"We aren't allowed visitors." He stated, unsure whehter on not this was some sort of joke.

The guard turned to his right and shook his head. "I guess he's not interested in getting his dirty arse out of here. Sorry you wasted your time."

What? Did he say something about getting him out of here? Was that even possible?

"Wait!" He yelled, hoping to stop the man from leaving. "Wait...I'll speak to them."

The guard grunted. "He's all yours."

Lucius stared out into the hall but couldn't see anyone. "Are you there?"

"I'm here, Mr. Malfoy." A deep, low voice called from somewhere outside his line of sight. "The question is, how long will you be here."

"Who are you?"

"Who I am is of no consequence at the moment. Just know that I am an ally and a friend. I can give you your freedom if you so choose to accept my help."

"You can get me out of here?"

The man moved then, stepping in front of him. His face was hidden in the shadow of his black hood, but his intent was ever present. "I can."

There was something familiar about the man that he just couldn't place. He knew him from somewhere. "What must I do?"

"Pledge your loyalty to me." He said. "Join me; and your plans, your dreams, of a better future will be a reality."

"If you think you're the next Dark Lord then you're ins-"

The man threw back his hood and Lucius took a step back, shocked and bit thrown off. "There was a reason why I was one of the highest rank, Lucius. Or have you forgotten?"

A ghost of a smirk formed on the blonde mans' lips then. "I haven't forgotten." He whispered. "I just thought you died."

He returned the hood to mask his face and sighed. "The best place to hide is in plain sight."

"A true statement." Lucius agreed. "Though I must ask if you are up to the task at hand?"

"I faked my death, gathered many scattered supporters from across the globe, took on this form, and got past all the Aurors, dementors, and guards of Azakaban." He replied dryly. "You tell me."

"I see. Very well. If I pledge my loyalty to you, you'll get me out of here? I'll be free of this hell?"

He could hear the evil grin in his voice as he answered, "You have my word."

"Then you have my wand." He said. "When I obtain a new one, that is."


	8. All Bets are Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione figures out what she really wants.

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I do, however, own a piece of shit car, that stalls all the flippin time! But that has nothing to do with Harry Potter or my story. So let's skip that story shall we?_ **

* * *

 

**Sunday, August 30, 1998**

Blaise Zabini wasn't one to drink. He didn't like the feeling of dizziness or  the overwhelming loss of his senses that came with it. He did, however, enjoy watching others in their intoxicated state. Gryffindor's especially. It was interesting to see how they behaved when they weren't being so loyal, brave, and goody-goody. Most of the blokes really surprised him. They were a shameful bunch while pissed. Gyrating, picking fights, publicly snogging, and no doubt shagging while safely out of sight. He thought the sorting hat had placed some of them in the wrong house. These party animals were capable of some cunning shit when given the chance.

He'd even enjoyed talking to a few of them. Neville was actually a pretty funny bloke, and Ginny Weasley wasn't too bad herself. He'd still remembered the look on her face when he'd mentioned Granger kissing Draco earlier. Her eyes had widened to epic proportions and she had dragged Potter with her to confront her brother. Come to find out, it'd been on a dare given to her by her brothers new flavor.

Granger had disappeared shortly after. He could only imagine what Draco and the witch were doing now. He grinned at the thought. If only the Weasel knew what he'd driven the poor girl too. She'd probably be ruined by the end of the week. He would have tried to talk his best mate out of any rendezvous, but he knew it would be pointless. Whatever Draco wanted, Draco got. And if he wanted Granger, then who was he to stop him? It wasn't like he cared who his friend slept with. As long as it didn't affect him, he was fine with covering for him.

He decided he'd had enough of watching the crowd and listening to Pansy whine about Draco. She should just get over the guy already. They'd never even dated. She was just a piece of arse. She knew it, he knew it, shit, everyone knew it. He just couldn't understand why she was hell bent on loving him. Not when there were other guys around that would enjoy her company. Not that it was Blaise, but he was pretty certain Theo held a torch for her. Poor bastard.

He sighed and made his way out into the hall. What he saw as he rounded the corner made him stop in his tracks and stifle a laugh. Weasley had a girl pushed up against a wall, lips glued together, playing tonsil hockey. But that wasn't what had a laugh threatening to escape. It was the fact that they were, quite literally,  _glued_ together.

They were prying their lips apart now. "Mmhh whhht hhhhpppnnd." Weasley moaned. When he finally tore away his lips were bleeding. "Bloody hell that hurt!"

"What have you done you bloody twat?" The girl cried, trying to get the globs of white glue out of her hair and trying unsuccessfully to pull away from him.

"I didn't do it! We must have been hexed!" The Weasel replied, fumbling for his wand.

Blaise smirked, looking around to see who had performed the spell and caught sight of blonde hair as it disappeared down the hall.

 _Draco_?

He ran up the hall, catching up with his friend. "Was that your doing back there?"

"What of it?" He snapped, not even bothering to look at him. He seemed to be in a rather foul mood. His shoulders were rigid and his hair was a bit disheveled in appearance.

Blaise knew something was up. "A bit unnecessary, don't you think?"

Draco didn't respond but kept walking, his pace quickening.

"Draco, what's wrong?" He asked, unsure if it was a good idea or not. Draco was prone to fly off the handle lately.

"Nothing." He replied through clenched teeth.

Yeah. Something was up with him alright. He'd just have to push a few buttons to get it out of him. "Are you sure about that? You look like you're brooding to me."

"I'm not-"

"What, did you got denied by your conquest?"

No answer, just more stalking away from him. Ok..now we just have to drive it a little further.

"Or was it that her blood didn't taste quite as good sober as it did when you were drunk?"

Without warning Blaise found himself being slammed into a wall, his friends angry face just centimeters away from his own and one arm pushed firmly across his chest.

Bingo.

"Don't say one more word about her…" Draco hissed, before releasing him and backing away, looking a bit confused.

"What's gotten into you?" Blaise asked, rubbing the side of his shoulder.

"I…I don't know."

Blaise followed him into their room where he watched as his friend fumbled through his drawers until he found a bottle of Firewhiskey. He twisted the cap off and raised the bottle to his lips, effectively downing a good three shots before sitting down in a chair.

He'd seen this side of Draco many times, especially after returning to Hogwarts this summer. He knew his friend was struggling with, Salazar knew what. He'd heard him tossing and turning in his sleep and he saw the haunted look in his eyes when he got lost in his thoughts. It was disturbing to witness. "Hitting the bottle a little hard tonight don't you think?"

"I don't think I can hit it hard  _enough_." He replied, taking another, larger gulp.

Blaise wasn't going to let this continue. He had to know. "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

Blaise frowned and sat down. "Bollocks."

"Not now, Blaise. I'm in a mood." Draco groaned.

"I don't care. Tell me, mate. Something's going on. This isn’t just about a one-off is it? You can hide a lot from everyone else but you can't hide it from me."

He stared down at the bottle in his hand for a moment. "It's….complicated."

"Try me."

He looked up, and for the first time in his life, Blaise felt like he was looking at the real Draco. The one behind the mask.

"Let's say…a girl throws herself at you…and says she wants you…but then while you're in the moment she starts….crying….what would you do?"

Blaise had an idea about who he was talking about. But neither made the verbal connection. It was risky business and he shouldn't even know. Sometimes he felt like he was too smart for his own good.

"Me? I'd still fuck her anyway." He said with a shrug.

"Even if she was crying?"

"Yeah, I mean, I’d stop but if she wanted it, and didn't say no…." He answered, raising a dark brow. "But why do you ask? Did you-"

"Nevermind." Draco cut him off abruptly.

Blaise wouldn't let it go. "Don't tell me…you denied  _her_?"

"Let's just drop it."

"No way. I'm not hearing this right, Draco Malfoy, playboy of Slytherin denied-"

"Shut it! I just…it bothered me."

"Why?"

"I made her…I made her cry.."

"Newsflash mate, you make a lot of people cry."

"This time was different, though." He looked as if he didn't know if that was good or bad thing.

Blaise didn't understand. If he was talking about who he thought he was, then this made no sense at all. He should be loving the fact that he'd made the _mudblood_ cry. At least, pre-war Draco would be loving it.  Blaise wasn't so sure he was looking at that Draco anymore. Maybe Granger was having an effect on him.

"Was she really that good in the sack for you to be acting like a fuckin nancy?"

"I'm not acting like a -" He looked up, a playful fire back in his eyes. "But if you _must_ know, it was the best sex of my life."

And there he was. The Draco he knew and loved. "Well then mate, you have your work cut out for you."

He sighed and leaned back in the chair. "Believe me, I know."

* * *

 

**Sunday, August** **31, 1998**

Hermione wiped the condensation from the mirror, immediately wishing she'd left it fogged, distorting her features. She was disgusted by what she saw. Her eyes were red and puffy, her hair hung limp and cold around her face and her lips were chapped. She looked exactly like how she felt, like other shite.

She pulled the towel closer around her frame. She felt so, betrayed. Betrayed by everyone. Last night had been one of the worst nights of her life so far, or at the very least, the worst for her heart.

She'd been completely shocked and appalled to see that Ron had already moved on, and his little _girlfriend_ had made it pretty clear what she'd thought about Hermione. Normally she wouldn't have cared, she didn’t particularly care what people thought of her, but last night….last night she had. The girls words chilled her to the core, making her wish she were different. She'd let the girl get to her. She'd let her make her feel worthless. Less than rubbish.

_No one wants you._

She'd felt more affected by those words than she'd ever been when Malfoy had called her names all these years.

_No. Don't think about it. Think about something else._

What her mind drifted to was worse, she thought back on the most humiliating part of her night. She'd gotten drunk and gave into her lust for Malfoy. She'd practically laid herself out on a silver platter for him, yet he'd pushed her away after snogging her to the brink of insanity. She'd wanted him so bad. She had been prepared to give herself to him, yet again, he'd been contributing…that is until she'd made a fool of herself and became a blubbering idiot. She probably scared him away with her tears. But she couldn't help it! Her heart was in shock! How was she supposed to sort out her feelings? Love and lust? Trust and betrayal. She couldn't take it anymore.

She sighed and got dressed, wondering briefly where she'd left her favorite jacket. She found something else to wear and sighed, wondering if she should just stay in. No. She couldn't hide out in her room all day. She had to face them, all of them, including Draco, if she were to get through this year. She took a deep breath and headed for the Great Hall, mentally preparing for what would probably be a pretty awkward breakfast.

She scanned the room. No Draco. Well, at least, she didn't have to deal with him yet. As if she could even begin to deal with him to begin with.

She spotted her friends and made her way towards them. "I can't believe you, Ron." Ginny was saying as Hermione came up behind them. "How could you do that? Just waltz into the room with some slag hanging all over you? Didn't you know it would hurt her?"

"Shut up, Ginny. It isn't your business." Ron retorted, twirling the fork around in his hand before stabbing it into his plate. "But  _no_ , I didn't think it would hurt her."

Harry shook his head. "You're a bloody twit, Ron."

"I don't need to hear it from you either Harry," Ron whined.

"Well, you've got to hear it from someone. You hurt her bad mate. Don't you get that?"

Ron shook his head. "I get it. Alright? I'm a bastard." He took another bite before looking down, a scowl on his face. " But It's not my fault she got drunk and-"

Hermione cleared her throat and they all fell silent, staring at her as she took a seat beside Harry. "Oh, don't stop talking on my account." She said, taking a bite off of Harry's plate.

Ginny looked guilty as she leaned over. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." She lied, shooting a glare at Ron. "Although not as good as Ronald I'm sure."

Ron frowned. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means?"

"If it's about Gabrielle then you don't know what you're talking about."

Oh, so the chit had a name now? "Oh? Didn't the night not go as you planned?" Hermoine hissed. "I was so sure you'd gotten lucky."

"Look who talking," Ron replied, slamming his fork down on the table. "Last time I checked, I wasn't the bloody one snogging the hell out of a fucking death eater! "

She gasped and Ginny smacked her brother on the arm. "I told you not to say anything."

Hemione felt her heart flutter. "I only did that to prove a point to your  _bint_  of a girlfriend."

"Her _name_ is Gabrielle, and to prove what? That you could shag bloody  _Malfoy_?"

"No! Since when does kissing someone equivalate shagging them? I sure as hell kissed you and you bloody well know that never happened."

“Going there are we? Whose fault do you think that was?"

"Umm, guys?" Harry tried to interject but was ignored by both parties.

"Well _sorry_ , I wanted to take it slow! Maybe I should have just let you have at it and gave it up to you on day one!"

"Guys?" Harry tried again. People were starting to stare.

Ron rolled his eyes. "I'm not saying that. Hermione! I'm just saying I wanted more-"

"Well, you got more didn't you! Gabrielle, or whatever her name is, took great care of that now didn't she?"

"No." He grumbled, still glaring at her. "She left after someone hexed us last night."

"Oh ho." Hermione mocked. "Did little Ronnikins get dumped? Poor thing."

Ron's face darkened and Harry grabbed her arm. "Hermione, just leave it."

She looked at Ron and Ginny, both of which weren't saying anything, just looking on at her like she was a raving loon. Then she noticed just how many more pairs of eyes were on her. Apparently their little row had gained unwanted attention.

"Fine. I can take a hint." She spat, standing up, "Have a great day."

She hurried out of the hall, not stopping even when she heard Ginny call her name.

Ron. That dimwitted, fucking asshole! How could he! How could he not even care? Godric, why did she even love that selfish prick! Why couldn't she love someone who actually gave two shits about her?

She hurried down a corridor, not caring if she ran into anyone. She was far from caring at the moment. Last night had hurt. Hurt so bad she wanted to sink into a crack in the floor and disappear. She'd thought she was going crazy, and Ron, he didn't even bat an eyelash.

He was more concerned about slutface breaking things off with him than how his friend of seven years was doing. She didn't know why she let it get to her so much. She knew they were over. For now, anyways. Although, after this, she wondered if she would ever go back to him, even if he wanted her. Fucking Ron. What was his problem? Didn't he ever use his bloody brain? She loved him. More than anyone would. Why couldn't he just be happy with that? With her? Why did he want to make her suffer?

"Stop making me hate you." She groaned, picking up her pace as she jogged up the stairs.

She just couldn't win.

" _Look who's talking. I'm not the bloody one snogging the hell out of a fucking death eater."_

_So what!?_

_Who fucking cares!_

He could go shag whoever  _he_  wanted! Why couldn't she kiss Draco Malfoy? Why couldn't she drown out her sorrows by getting lost in his deep eyes? Why could Ron do something so horrible, but expect her not to? Bloody double standards was what it was. Ron was being ridiculous!

Just because she was a  _girl_  didn't mean she didn't have  _needs_. Ever since her night with Malfoy, she'd longed for his touch. She could do anything she wanted. She didn't need Ron's permission. She was her own person, right? Who cared if she still loved Ron. He wasn't in a big rush to do anything about it, now was he?

She stopped, leaning against a windowpane, listening to raindrops pinging against it. "What is happening to me?"

She couldn't think straight anymore. She needed something…something she could control. Something tangible. Something real. Malfoy's words ran through her head.

" _So we were both using each other. So what? There's nothing wrong with that."_

" _It doesn't have to be emotional, Granger."_

Could it be that easy? Having sex with someone without loving them, or liking them even? She had done it once already though hadn't she? She was in no way, shape, or form, in love with Malfoy, yet she'd gone so far as to lose her virginity to him. Maybe it _could_ be that easy. Her heart raced at the thought.

She pushed away from the window and headed back the way she came. She didn’t know how she’d get to him, or even if it was possible. She’d just have to wing it, maybe follow some unsuspecting first year.

She also didn't know if he'd go along with this. She had freaked him out last night. But then again, he had also said she should come to him when she was ready to admit she wanted it.

Well, she was bloody ready to admit it. She wanted Draco fucking Malfoy or the use of his body at least.

* * *

 

Draco's eyes fluttered open at the same time he heard himself laugh. It wasn't the kind of laugh that was brought on by thinking something was funny. No, this laugh was sinister and reminded him too much of his father's. He grimaced, cutting the repulsive sound off. How could he possibly laugh like that? That wasn't even a sound he'd made before. It had to because of the dream he'd just had. Not dream exactly, more like a nightmare; though this one left him feeling more troubled than the past few had. He could still hear the hollow cries in his head as he pulled himself out of bed, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was really awake. He didn't think he could take any more if he wasn't. His laugh, her cries. It was all just too much.

Images of a girl lying on the floor, body jerking, spine arching backward, mouth open in a silent scream, invaded his mind. The girl whom he'd always hated, always resented, cried out in pain as another curse engulfed her. Blood and tears mixed together in the dirt as he stood above her, wand in hand, lips moving, muttering countless curses aimed at her writhing body.

She opened her eyes, beautiful brown eyes, and glared up at him spitefully. She didn't want to die,  _refused_ to die. He could see it in her vibrant eyes, but dream Draco didn't care how hard her resolve was. He didn't care if she kept fighting. He'd hoped she would. That way he could break her slowly,  _painfully_. He'd stooped down to her level and she turned her face away. He'd snorted and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Haven't you had enough?" She asked through chapped, bloodied lips.

"Hardly." He grinned and wrapped one hand around the back of her neck, flexing his fingers gently over her soft flesh. "I've got a lot of plans for you,  _filthy little mudblood."_

Then he'd woken up, laughing, the cold realization hitting him hard. It had been Granger in the dream. She'd been beaten and tortured and he'd been the one doing it. It made his insides groan and tumble. Even if it had been a dream it felt real to him. So real.

"Fucking hell." He whispered, searching for the bottle he'd discarded on the floor next to his bed last night.

Maybe it was the fact that he'd made her cry. Perhaps that's why he'd dreamed such an awful thing. He'd tortured and killed enough people in his young life, he needn't add another, even if he'd only just dreamt it.

"I'm going to get some food. You coming?" Blaise asked him, breaking him away from his dark thoughts.

"No, I think I'm going to lay back down for awhile."

"Want me to bring you back something?"

"Sure. Why not?" Draco shrugged, bringing the bottle to his lips.

Blaise was in front of him, snatching the bottle from his hands in a split second. "It's a little too early for that shit man."

"Give it back," Draco demanded, getting up.

"No." He replied harshly. "Just give it a rest for a bit, yeah?"

Draco wanted to protest and pry the bottle out of his friends hands, but he didn't. Instead, he sank back into his mattress and sighed. "Fine. Have it your way."

"Thanks," Blaise said, opening the door and giving him a curious glance before disappearing out of it.

What was wrong with him? He wasn't this weak minded individual who drank himself daft at nine in the morning. He was stronger, more composed than that. Or he should be. But he wasn't. Not with the bloody nightmares haunting him.

He was so tired. Tired of the pain, of the guilt, eating away at him like maggots on a dead carcass. He wanted to turn the feelings off. He wanted to get so lost that no one, not even himself, could find him. If he could just forget for a bit, then it would be better. If just for a while.

He closed his eyes and sighed. It wasn't like he didn't deserve to suffer. He should probably take these horrific feelings as a blessing. It just meant he was still human right? It meant he wasn't quite like the rest of them. He was capable of such evil, but it wasn't his desire to act on his capabilities. He used his talents to make sure people still thought he was someone to be wary of , but he'd never utter another unforgivable curse again. Not if he could help it.

His chest rose as he inhaled deeply.

 _Fuck_.

When did he turn into such a useless sod? Since when did he stop using his powers to impress others? Why didn't he want to go to the Great Hall right now and act like everything was ok? Act like he was the same old Draco he'd been before the war, flirting it up and being cocky? Why couldn't he just drag his sorry arse out of bed and get on with his day like a normal wizard? He wasn't the type to act like some bloody git feeling sorry for himself. So why was he still here?

That's right.

Granger.

If he went to the Great Hall, he'd see her. He didn't' want to see her because she probably didn't want to see him. He'd left her high and dry last night. Well maybe not  _dry_ , but you get the picture. He'd be lucky if she even looked at him ever again. Did he even want her too? Yes. He did. He still wanted her. So much it physically hurt. His body practically propelled him towards her last night. It was like they were bloody magnets. What was the saying? Opposites attract? They sure as fuck did. A mudblood and a pure blood. It was ludicrous! She was the epitome of deadly attraction. This was dangerous. Not just the fact that if found out, they could both be persecuted, (Even though everyone said the prejudices were over, that was far from the truth) but He wasn't exactly the best bloke around. He could hurt her.

And after that nightmare….no there was no way he'd do anything like that to her. He wasn't like that anymore. Shit, he'd never been like that to begin with. It was all just a ruse. A way to stay alive. Gods, he’d just wanted to live. What he was doing now didn't feel much like living. But when he was with _her_ it felt like he could breathe again. Like it was all worth it just to hear her voice and feel her soft, slick skin against his chest. His dick twitched at the thought.

 _Bugger! Just Stop thinking about her!_ _She's making you fucking crazy!_

"Malfoy?"

 _Shit! And now you're bloody hearing her too._ _How much more looney can you get?_

"Malfoy! I know you're there. Please, open up!"

_Wait._

Hadn't he been imaging her voice? Was she here?

He sprang up, heading towards the door she was banging savagely on. Why was she here? How was she here? How did she even know where the hell his room was? Why did she even want to know? His mind raced with all these thoughts as he reached for the door. "Granger? What do you want?"

"Malfoy, just open the fucking door!" She exclaimed.

He found himself grinning at her choice of words, he’d never heard her use such language, and let the door swing open. Her eyes were wide and crazed, and he found himself momentarily silent. "What…what are you doing here?" He asked as her eyes roamed over his body.

He glanced down and noticed he was clad in nothing but his green silk boxers and couldn't stop the smirk that twitched on his lips. Just a few minutes ago he'd wanted to forget everything…and now here she was, his means to forget, standing right in front of him, her eyes eating every inch of him up. "Granger? My eyes are up here."

She looked up startled. "Sorry…I uh..just wanted to talk to you…"

He could tell she was nervous about being here. Or maybe it was because he was half naked. Either way, she wasn't leaving. "How did you find out where my room was?"

"I saw Zabini and I told him I needed to ask you a question about the new prefects.  I figured he probably had an inkling about what happened between us since he offered to sneak me in."

Ah, Blaise. He wondered if his friend was patting himself on his back right now? Probably was, cocky shit.

"Why did you come here?"

"Why?" She asked, shifting uncomfortably. Her eyes were drifting down again.

He sighed. "Would it help if I put some clothes on?"

"No, actually." She smiled a little. "I uh...thought...maybe."

"Spit it out, Granger." He barked, backing her into the door, effectively shutting it. "What do you  _want_?"

She licked her lips before responding. "You told me, I mean, you said you wanted to use each other to keep our minds off the things that torment us…" She began, her eyes trying to decide what to focus on, him or his chest. She was kind of cute when she was flustered.  _Kind of._  "Last night I tried to…well, throw myself at you…I told you it was because of a dare but really, I wanted to do it the moment I saw you with Pansy…and Ron walking through the door with that- anyway I knew I wanted you, Malfoy. I was just too stubborn to accept it and too drunk to shut myself up. I'm sorry I cried…I was just overwhelmed…I guess I just kept thinking to much-"

He put his finger to her lips. "And now you're talking to much." He smiled. "Just get to the point. I'm going to grow old waiting for you to explain it."

"Fine…” She took a deep breath, seemingly in preparation, “I want to accept your proposition, Malfoy."

He didn't hesitate to place his lips against her ear. "About bloody time, Granger." He pulled her closer to him. He could feel how tense she still was but he didn't want to care. He wasn't going to back down. He had last night and it was bloody ridiculous. She said she wanted to do this so that's all he needed to know. "I thought I was going to go mad waiting for you." He said, running his fingers through her hair.

"My apologies." She grinned, looking over his shoulder and letting her mouth pop open at the sight of a familiar brown jacket, hanging on his chair. "Malfoy? Is that my jacket?"

Hmm. He'd forgotten all about it. He figured it was time for a little game. To ease her tension, if nothing else. He walked over and picked it up, grinning wildly. "Perhaps."

She returned his playful grin and walked up to him, trying to grab the jacket from his hands. "You better give it back." She said. "I've been looking all over for it." She lunged for it but he jerked out of her reach.

"Un-uh." He tsk'd. "You've got to ask nicely."

"Please?" She asked, batting her eyes.

"Why should I?" He yawned, waving one hand in front of his mouth and the other still suspended in the air, jacket clutched in it. It was harder than he thought, trying to ignore how bloody hot she looked right now.

"Because it's not yours." she offered.

"Hmmm that's a good point." He let his arm fall close to her. "I guess I'll have to give it to you," He replied as she went to grab it. He yanked it back just in time to see her frown. "…on one condition."

"And what's that?" She asked, working up the nerve to start unbuttoning her blouse.

His eyes watched her slim fingers as she worked the buttons. Gods, how could she be so bloody sexy? She was only undoing a few damn buttons!

"Kiss me." He said, his voice demanding, yet strangely soft.

"Gladly." She answered, leaning up and kissing the side of his jaw and making her way down his chest, flicking her tongue across his nipple, causing him to shudder and grab her waist tightly.

"Hmmm. That was unexpected."

"You didn't specify where you wanted to be kissed."

"You know, I do believe you're right." He replied, grabbing her hand and dragging her towards the bed. But he wouldn't make that mistake twice.

* * *

 

Note: Chapter revised as of 3/27/16 


	9. The Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dynamic duo give into their desires. Is this the start of a beautiful relationship, or a nightmare in the making?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Here, There be smut.

****

**Sunday, August 31, 1998**

Draco's eyes rolled into the back of his head as a hot tongue slid its way up his shaft.

 _Fuck._ Was this really happening?

He looked down, blinking a few times to make sure this wasn't just another dream his sick mind had thought up to mess with him. But it wasn't. She _was_ there, kneeling on the floor in front of him while he sat on the edge of the bed. Most of her clothes were in a pile on the floor where she'd discarded them only moments before. All she had on was a pair of blue, lacy knickers though those would be removed shortly if he had any say in it.

She looked so bloody appetizing right now. If it weren't for the fact that she was doing  _him_ a service right now, he would have already taken her before they had even made it to the bed. She smirked when she noticed him staring at her.

 _Salazar, those eyes. That look._ It was like his own personal vision playing out right in front of him.

Granger on her knees. Granger looking up at him with those bloody seductive eyes. Granger sliding her warm tongue….

His fingers were already knotting themselves in her long brown hair by the time her mouth consumed him.

"Holy shit." He muttered as her hands gripped his knees, her tongue rolling along the smooth underside of his penis.

 _She's done this before._ There was no other explanation as to why she was so comfortable down there, swirling her tongue around the head, flicking it across the slit. Damn, she was good.

She bobbed her head, humming as she did so. It sent electric jolts through him. He couldn't even think straight as she took him into the hot, wet place that was her mouth. He felt his head hit her throat and her teeth bit down softly at the same time.

He was dangerously close to the edge. His fingers dug into her scalp as he tried not to thrust his hips forward, driving himself further into her mouth. He didn't want to choke her, but it was getting impossibly hard for him to sit still. She was looking up at him as she let him slip out of her mouth and then took him back in.

 _Fuck._  Why hadn't they done this sooner? How could something so wild be living inside that bookworm exterior? It was bloody criminal.

Then she did it again, sucking him hard, looking up at him, her tongue working wonders along his shaft. Gods, had anything felt this good? He couldn't stop himself.

"Shit!" He thrust forward, his hand gripping the back of her head as he pushed himself into her mouth. She didn't resist. Instead, she opened her mouth wider, allowing him to hit the back of her throat freely. She gagged once but didn't pull away. She fixed her eyes on him as he moved inside her and when he came she didn't make a face or spit it out. No. she looked right up at him, looking him dead in the eye and _swallowed_.

"Damn, Granger." He breathed, "That was sexy as fuck." He pulled her off the floor, and into his lap, her knees now on either side of his legs. He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her into him, kissing her hard. He could taste himself on her lips, it was slightly salty, but altogether not that bad. He wasn't one that normally kissed girls after they went down on him, but this time, he hadn't cared. He ran his hands up her bare back, taking in how soft her skin was.

She arched her back at his touch, her own hands grasping his shoulders and working their way up to his face. Her tongue dipped into his parted lips as she fought for dominance, but he wasn't going to allow that. He dug his fingers into her hips, slamming her pelvis into his.

Her knickers were causing a problem.

He needed her.

_Now._

Hermione gave a startled cry when he flipped her over onto her back, tearing the blue lace off her body savagely. His fingers found her, wet and ready for him. Just how he liked it. "Hmm. Sucking me off turned you on that much, Granger?"

"No." She replied, her face turning a bright shade of pink. "Of course not."

"You're such a bad liar." He smirked, sliding a finger inside of her. She moaned and tilted her hips to drive him deeper. "Like that do you?" He asked, adding another finger.

"Mmm. Hmm."

He sucked her nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue in small circles before biting down on the pink flesh. "And how about that?"

She arched up, groaning. "Yes."

He continued his ministrations as he moved his attention from one breast to the other. He felt her hands traveling up and down his body as she mewed softly. He withdrew his fingers and rubbed her engorged nub, enticing a rather loud moan to reverberate from her throat. "Ah...right there."

"Hmm...you want more?"

"Yes! Oh, gods!" She pleaded, her legs shaking violently as pleasure surged through her body. He knew she was close. He could feel it by the way she was quivering beneath him.

He leaned down, moving his fingers from her and replacing them with his tongue. She about lost it. He could tell. She grabbed a fist full of his hair as he glided his tongue across her clit. She tasted good, a mix of salty and sweet. Rather perfect if you asked him. He slid his tongue inside of her and she cried out, bucking her hips up. She was like putty in his hands. He leaned up, taking his mouth off of her and fingered her again, waiting, watching her face as she came, crying his name and throwing her head back in ecstasy. It was a sight he wanted to see again.

He pulled her legs around him. "You're too sexy for your own good."

"Am I?" She asked her voice low and slightly tired sounding, but he knew she wasn't tired, just coming off of orgasmic high.

"Most definitely." He told her, leaning over to grab his wand off the table. He had to do something before he went any farther.

When he didn't enter her right away, she leaned up on her elbows. "What are you waiting for?" She asked, impatiently.

He considered her. "Want me that bad do you?"

"Maybe." She grinned as he whispered a few words while waving his wand over her abdomen. "What was that about?"

"Contraception charm." He disclosed as he returned his wand to the table.

Her brows rose. "Didn't know there was such a thing."

"Well, now you do." He replied crawling between her open legs. "So you can add it to the exquisitely, long list of useful information you possess."

"I wouldn't say it was  _that long_." She stated, kissing him.

"Hm, alright, Granger." He smiled. "Now, hush. Before I put your mouth to better use."

"I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that you enjoyed it."

"You have no idea how much." He smirked, biting down on her erect nipple before she had time to respond. He kissed his way up her chest and bit down on her left shoulder as he pushed himself inside of her. She groaned and wrapped her legs tighter around him, bringing him closer.

Gods she was beautiful, so hot around him. He was going to melt into her. So tight. So hot. So bloody good. He kissed her again, not letting up until she was begging for air. He slammed into her, over and over again, loving how amazing she felt underneath him, how delicious she looked right now, her lovely chest heaving, and her plump lips moaning incoherent words.

"Fuck, so beautiful." He groaned, pressing his forehead against her shoulder, driving himself into her at a more rapid pace.

"Oh…hell..yes…" Her voice was like honey to his ears. "Draco…"

Circe, the way she said his name, in that half moan state, drove him mad. He pulled up, grabbing her legs and pushing them forward, so his hands gripped the back of her knees, as he thrust harder, again and again. "Merlin, you're so bloody tight…" He moaned, taking in the sight of her breasts bouncing with each powerful thrust, her head tilting back exposing her neck and all the red love bites he'd given her. It was just a testament as to who she belonged to now. She was his.

"Hermione." He breathed. "I can't…." He felt her walls clamp down around him and he couldn't hold back any longer. He pumped into her three more times and came hard, closing his eyes as he did so.

"Holy shit," she whispered. "That was.."

"Fan-fucking-tastic." He finished.

"My sentiments exactly." She mused, leaning up to kiss his jaw.

He sighed and pulled out of her, moving to lay on his back. He wanted to relish in the bliss that was his life at the moment. There was nothing he wanted more than to shut his eyes and drift off to sleep.

But then the bed shifted and he watched as Hermione got up and started putting her clothes back on. He leaned up on his elbows. "Where are you going?"

"I've got to get back," She said, slipping on her nearly ruined knickers," Besides, Zabini will be coming back soon…"

"Blast...I forgot." He sighed, lying back down.

"Malfoy?"

"Hmmm?"

"I just want reiterate, I used you today." She looked serious. “For sex.”

He chuckled. Was she still playing the 'This is wrong' card? "Your point?"

"I..well...I just want you to know it doesn't change things between us."

She really was something else. "I didn't really expect it too."

"This was the last time, Malfoy," She stated after a moment of silence and moving to open the door. "I mean it."

He grinned and without opening his eyes replied, "You can say that all you want, Granger, but we both know you'll need me again."

"You are so fucking full of yourself." She huffed, grabbing her jacket. "And I'll be taking this back!" She exclaimed, exiting as quickly as she had come.

Yes. Maybe he was full of himself. But that didn't mean he wasn't right. He'd seen the look on her face as she came. She'd be back. And if she didn't….well he would go to her. Either way, he knew this wouldn't be the last time he tasted mudblood.

_Draco Malfoy, that arrogant, impertinent git._

_"You'll need me again."_  She mocked in her head.

_Pah! As if. He just wishes I needed him, lousy no-good Slytherin bast-_

Hemione was cursing Malfoy and still buttoning up her shirt when she half slammed into Blaise in the hallway. "I'm sorry," she muttered, stepping aside to allow him to pass.

He took a look at her frazzled appearance and grinned. "Got your business taken care of then, Granger?"

She looked up at him and cocked her head. "Business?" Her eyes widened. "Oh yes, the prefects are well taken care of. Thanks for sneaking me in. I appreciate it."

"Not a problem." He assured her as she headed past him. He took a step then called after her. "You know, you can drop by anytime you like."

She gave him a curious look over her shoulder before replying, "Thanks, Zabini, but I won't be needing to come back  _anytime_ soon." She waved at him as she sped down the hallway, wanting to get as far away from her wicked deeds as she could.

She didn't see the Slytherin smirk as he opened the door to his room to see his naked and passed out roommate across his bed. "Heh, That's what you think."

* * *

 

**Saturday, September 5, 1998**

Seventh (or Eighth if you counted the fact that Hermione was supposed to have graduated already) year had started without a hitch. Or mostly.

She hadn't talked to Malfoy since that night, and she was relieved to find that she'd only shared two classes with him, Ancient Runes and Potions. While she still felt his hot stares on the back of her head, she  _tried_ to ignore his existence. It didn't quite work out, though, because try as she might, her eyes always subconsciously drifted to him when she wasn't paying attention. And then her mind would wander to places it shouldn't. Her brain was throwing her into fantasies that she normally would be blushing over, and it wasn't that hard for her to envision because she knew  _exactly_ what he looked like under those robes. So that spurred on the images of his muscular arms holding her down and his mouth working its way over her most sensitive areas…

 _Shit_.

She should stop right there. This wasn't what she'd signed up for. She thought sleeping with him again would get him out of her system. But undoubtedly it had proven to be more of a fix. She was just adding to her newfound addiction. She'd gone and slept with him again, out of her own petty desire to feel wanted, appreciated, and probably for her own self-gratification. She'd known he wanted her, so she allowed herself to do what  _she_ wanted, what she  _needed_ and gone to him. But she wasn't planning on doing it again, or at least, she hoped she wouldn't do it again. She knew he'd wanted to continue their little exchange, but the risks of being found out were too high. She was weighing the pro's and con's in her mind.

Yes, he was sexy as hell.

Yes, he was a good kisser.

Yes, he was a  _fantastic_ lover.

But she knew he was not good for her, So she tried to forget about her undeniable lust for him as the days wore on. She had enough to worry about, thank you very much. She was still in love with Ron, despite the fact that he had been seen with many different girls the past week, including _Gabrielle_ ,  _and_ she still hadn't gotten word about her parents. So No, Malfoy was not on top of her priority list, albeit, she was probably number  _one_ on his.

 _Stop fucking thinking about Malfoy_!

She needed to study, not worry about boys and her hormones.

That's why she was here after all. To study. To retain information. To take the N.E.W.T.S and pass. To become a Ministry official, or maybe a professor. To make something out of herself. So, here she was, in the library; chewing on her bottom lip, staring intently at her transfiguration book and trying  _desperately_  to forget all the things that transpired between her and Malfoy the last two weeks.

Though that was easier said than done.

The sound of a chair moving next to her and the sweet smell of a certain cologne drug her attention from her book and to the presence next to her.

_Oh hell._

"You look so sexy when you're deep in thought." His husky voice purred in her ear. "It really turns me on."

"Wow, you sure know how to charm a lady, Malfoy." She rolled her eyes and slammed her book shut.

"Not to your liking then?"

"Not hardly." She stood up quickly, not wanting to remain in his vicinity. If she stayed, who knew what would happen.

"Ok, how about this," He asked, standing and following her through the library. He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. "Nevermind, let's just skip the formalities."

"I already told you, Malfoy. That was the last time."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her into an empty aisle. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes." She said, her voice barely a whisper as she looked up into his silver eyes.

"Really? Because the way you've been eye-fucking me the past two days tells me you want another go."

"What?" She gasped, totally shocked at his accusations, no matter how true they might be. "I was  _not_ eye-fucking you."

"I beg to differ." He smirked, placing a galleon in her palm. "But in any case, I brought this, so you could keep in contact if you decided to fess up."

She looked down, confused. "What?"

"I used the Protean Charm." He stated, continuing down the aisle and looking around to see if anyone was close by. When he saw no one he released her hand and leaned back against the wall. "It's so we can contact each other."

"Are you really that hell bent on having me again?"

He didn't even blink as he responded, "Yes."

"Godric…" She sighed, pocketing the coin. "Ok, listen. What we did…it was great, fantastic even, but we  _can't_  keep doing it."

He shifted his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. "I don't see why the fuck not."

She threw her hands up in defeat. "It isn't  _right_. We are from two very different worlds…and we don't even  _like_ each other for Godric's sake."

"Who cares, Granger? How many times must we go through this? It’s strictly physical. No strings. You have to have some understanding considering you came to me remember? We both knew what we were doing. I thought we sorted out your emotional shit."

She cut her eyes at him. "Obviously not."

He moved then, coming so close she could feel his breath on her forehead. "Come on, Granger. Why do you keep fighting it? It's bloody pointless. I've already had you twice."

"And you still want more?"

"Of course." He grinned, tilting his head down to kiss her neck. "You have no idea how bloody decedent you taste." His hands moved up her skirt, pulling the thin material covering her to the side. He slid a finger between her wet folds, stroking them gently. "Or how good you feel." He rubbed his thumb against her clit as he hummed the words in her ear. "It makes me hard just bloody thinking about it."

She moaned at the contact. He smirked into her hair and pushed her back against a wall, spreading her legs slightly with his knee.

She let out a startled gasp before his mouth covered hers. When they broke away she knew she was done for. He was already fumbling with the buttons on his pants as he trailed kisses down her neck and moving back up to her jaw. "Malfoy."

"Hmm…?" He hummed into her ear, making her shiver.

"I…we…honestly we shouldn’t…"

He ignored her words and kissed her, his tongue slipping into her hers swiftly, overtaking her own without hesitation. Her senses were on triple alert now and she felt herself becoming more and more aroused with each passing moment. She could already feel his throbbing erection against her. If it wasn't for his boxers being in the way he'd already be inside her. The thought excited her. If she just reached down she could….

No!

No. she shouldn't be doing this. She couldn't blame this on alcohol, or her need for attention. Besides, they were in the library for Godric's sake. It was wrong on  _so_ many levels. And then there was the fact…that she still loved Ron. Even if he  _was_ behaving like a complete prat. Malfoy needed to get that through his head.

She broke the kiss. "Malfoy…even though I want you…it's wrong…because...I…I still love Ron."

His lips brushed against her ear as he breathed softly, "Then tell me to stop."

Her heart slammed against her ribcage. He was still giving her a choice. She could walk away from him without an even  _further_ guilty conscious. But the way he'd just spoken so softly in her ear was replaying through her mind. She wanted to hear more of his breathy moans. She couldn't bring herself to tell him to back off. She needed this…she wanted it. As much as she loved Ron, this was something only Malfoy could give her. The distraction. The way out of her life as bookworm Granger. For this reason, she didn't answer him and instead leaned up and sucked his bottom lip into her mouth. She was done fighting herself.

He moaned and ground against her. "I told you you'd need me again, look at you." He lowered his voice just a tad. "You're already wet and ready for me."

"Just shut up and kiss me, Malfoy."

"So demanding." He smirked, grabbing her right leg and holding it up, effectively rubbing her entrance with his clothed arousal. She heard him mutter a charm and she groaned bucking her hips forward, loving the feel of him rubbing against her. It was driving her crazy. More. More. She wanted him inside her now!

"Please…." She moaned into his neck.

"Please, what?"

"You  _know_ what." She said, almost whining.

He seemed to enjoy toying with her. "No…I don't believe I do." He replied, giving her neck another love bite.

"I..I want you. Please….Draco…" She breathed, running her hands through his hair.

He pulled himself free and kissed her hard, entering her in one hot thrust. She cried out and dug her fingers into the back of his robe.

He put his hand over her mouth. "Shh, Granger," he whispered, sinking back into her deliberately slow. "We're in the _library_."

She kept her eyes locked with his for a moment as he pumped into her, his hand still covering her mouth. She moaned into it and flicked her tongue out, causing him to smirk. "You're so naughty, Granger."

He seemed to understand what her eyes conveyed, the actions she so wanted to show. She wanted him. Hard and fast.

He quickened his pace, his hand still pressed firmly on her mouth. The air was coming out of her nose, tickling his knuckles as he pumped into her. He loved this. Fucking her in broad daylight, watching her lusty eyes boring into his. Gods, he could fuck her into oblivion.

She never took her eyes off him as he took her against the wall, his hand never leaving her mouth. She wanted to take it all in. The feeling of him moving in and out of her, the sound of his moans as he filled her up, the fact that he was doing this with her in the library. The anxiety and thrill pumped through her veins as the adrenaline kicked in. They could be caught. At any moment, someone could walk around the bookshelf and see them. She was covered by his body, so they wouldn't really be able to see _her_ , but they would no doubt know what exactly it was they were doing.

For some reason, the thought excited her and she felt herself rocking against him, her hips meeting his thrusts in a new eagerness.

He leaned into her, pressing his forehead to hers as he rammed into her, hard, fast, wanting to be lost in her hot heat. She was the best thing he'd ever gotten a taste of. She was so different. So…forbidden. Maybe that's why he wanted her so bad.

They both heard the sound of footsteps nearby.

_Shit._

This was bad.

But they couldn't stop. They were long past that. So he kept moving, and she kept quiet, anxious for their release. It was growing now, the hot sensation in their groins. A few more. Just a few more.

The footsteps were closer.

They were in for it now.

He snapped his eyes shut as he came, sinking his body into hers and releasing her mouth. She gasped, breathing in the air she was lacking and pulled him around the shelf, and away from the impending footfalls.

She giggled as he stumbled away from her, fixing his pants and looking all to flustered. "That was close."

"But so worth it…I didn't know you could be so daring, Granger."

"Well, you started it."

He smirked and kissed her again. "To think the bookworm likes to get it on in the library….it's quite  _fitting._ "

"Shut up." She replied, kissing him back.

He pulled away from her. "As much fun as this is…we really should get back to class….I think we've spent a little too much time  _studying_ …." He said, walking towards the exit.

She reached out and grabbed his sleeve before he'd gotten too far. "Wait."

He turned around to look at her. "Yes?"

"If we're going to…to continue doing…whatever this is…I uh…I have three conditions."

He leaned back against the shelf. "Alright, I'm listening."

"First thing, this," She pointed at herself, then at him, "remains a secret."

"Already planned on it. The coins remember?" He made a point by bringing the galleon out of his pocket and maneuvering it between his fingers. "So let's get to the second condition."

She took a deep breath. "I know this is far-fetched and I don't even know if I want him back…but…if Ron and I get back together, this ends."

He sighed but nodded. "Fine."

“And the last one, you’ve already said before, but let’s leave emotions at the door.”

“I accept your conditions, Granger.” He smirked. “It’ll be a pleasure working with you.”

“Likewise.” She gave him a grin before sliding past him, letting her lips brush against his ear. "I guess I'll see you later?"

"You can bet your sweet arse you will." He replied, giving her bum a quick smack as she retreated.

Yes. This was the beginning of a wonderful, beautiful, relationship...friendship…thing? At least, that's what they thought before everything started unraveling around them.

 

* * *

Revised on 3/27/16 


	10. Coins, Letters, and Annoying Best Friends

****

* * *

 

**Saturday, September 5, 1998**

The last five days, for Draco, had been hellish. Okay, maybe not hellish in the sense of Armageddon or an impending war with The Dark Lord, but a pain in the arse all the same.

First, there had been Pansy, with her perceptive eyes and determination, fishing for information and throwing questions, among other things, at him. If he heard one more word about the bloody kiss with Granger, or how he and Pansy should go back to her room for extracurricular activities, he was going to hex her.

One would think that she had gotten the sodding message by now. He didn't like her like she liked him. He had made that clear before they had started fooling around fourth year. She used to be manageable but lately it was getting redundant. He couldn't even stand being within  _ten_  feet of her, so why did she still think that it was ok to cling to him like a piece of lint?

Oh, that's right because she could be bloody thick when she wasn’t getting her way. Pansy Parkinson lived in denial. He couldn’t blame her for trying and he couldn't just kick her out of his little circle. It was still important to keep up his image, or what little of it was left. There was nothing he could do about her pining over him, except to ignore it.

Two weeks ago he would have swallowed his distaste for her company, in the favor of getting off. As much as she annoyed him, she could fuck like nobodies business. Or that's what he  _used_  to think before he'd stumbled upon the likes of Granger. Now he couldn't even picture himself being touched by Parkinson, let alone the thought of ever sleeping with her. It left a sour taste in his mouth. Had he really had no standards?

He had taken a look at the Slytherin table one day and shook his head solemnly. He'd slept with at least six of the girls there, so no, he  _hadn't_  had any standards, and if he recalled, old Draco had only one rule when it came to fucking women. No mudbloods.

How ironic; considering that now hers was the only company his body craved.

After that night in his dorm, all he wanted was to sink back into her tight, hot goodness and get lost in her smoldering gaze. But those eyes hadn't so much as looked at him in the two days following the incident. He knew because _his_ eyes couldn't stop looking at _her_.

He wondered if it really _had_ been the last time. It was a disappointing thought, but a quite possible conclusion. She hadn't given him any indication of wanting more. In the two classes he shared with her, she'd only muttered a greeting once and then quickly ran to her seat. He was beginning to think that she was going to do good on her word.

Bloody Gryffindors, with their promises and allegiances. It made him want to spit.

By Wednesday, he figured he could pretty much kiss his dreams of fucking Granger again, goodbye. It put him in a rather foul mood, so Pansy, along with some of his peers, did nothing but irritate him with their bombardment of meaningless questions and ill-timed foreplay, to which he didn't respond, mind you.

Fucking hell, it had been five days of torture dealing with horny girls, boring classes, and not to mention his cursed nightmares. Even those were relentless and he couldn't seem to shake off the feeling of dread he awoke to every morning. It seemed his days were always rather trying, and Blaise hadn't been any help whatsoever.

All he'd done was a smile to himself and whisper Granger related innuendo's in Draco's ear.

_Bloody prat._

As if it wasn't hard enough for him without his little comments.

It had been frustrating doing nothing but waiting, and planning, and scheming, and waiting some more. Granger was probably doing it on purpose. That thought had spurred him on to follow her into the library.

He was tired of nothing happening so he had taken it into his own hands.

And it had paid off. Today he got what he'd been waiting for all bloody week. A release. A beautiful distraction between two slim, milky thighs. Thighs that belonged to one Hermione Granger, Gryffindor princess. Sure he hadn't expected it to go down the way it had, but he wasn't really complaining.

He rubbed the enchanted galleon between his thumb and index finger, feeling the smooth grooves and dips on its cold surface. He smirked to himself as he walked down the long corridor leading away from the library, sliding the coin into his trouser pocket. Damn, that was brilliant on his part. He hadn't used the coins for a while now, and he was glad to be using them for something other than plotting murder.

Now when he felt the heat radiating from it, he'd be ecstatic instead of repulsed. It would mean that good things were coming. Well, good things for his sex life at least. He grinned again, he couldn't really help himself, it was all Grangers doing. She was just full of sexy little surprises that kept him wanting to come back for more.

Hell. He just left her and he was ready for another round. Must be the Malfoy in him. Or did that apply to every adolescent male lucky enough to talk some girl into shagging them? Regardless of whether or not others could keep it up, he knew what he was packing, but did Granger know?

_Probably._

But she wouldn't be an easy one to tame.

She still had her pride and emotions tying her down.

That was fine. He was a patient man. He'd waited this long, and he'd already gotten what he needed.

Her cooperation.

He was confident that they would be seeing a lot of each other; behind the scenes of course. They couldn't let anyone know that they were seeing each other, no matter how strictly sexual their relationship was. It just was too touchy of a subject to address. Not to mention the fact that if anyone found out it could ruin his reputation as a Malfoy and hers as one-third of the Golden War Heroes, Gods forbid.

Of course, there was someone that knew, but he knew Blaise wasn't going to be running and shouting the information down the halls. His best mate knew what would happen if that happened, and he was sure Blaise didn't have a death wish.

He made his way to his next class, a slight skip in his step. He hadn't felt this good, in well, a long time. It was the first day he hadn't wanted to drink himself silly by the time noon rolled around. He had to say his plans to get Granger into bed to forget his current state of mind, had been one of his best.

She was, in every aspect of the word, enchanting. She made him feel things and say things he normally wouldn't. He didn't have to hold himself back with her. She didn't expect anything from him, other than his services of course, and Gods knew she was amazing in bed, or against the wall, or in any other way imaginable. He sure as hell had plenty of time and imagination to have her any way he wanted. She would be up for it, he knew. Behind those nut brown eyes and curly hair, was a bloody beast. She was wild. He could tell. The look in her eyes as he fucked her earlier told him there was something animalistic inside of her, that she wanted more, needed more. It just so happened that he was all too willing to give it to her.

He entered the Transfiguration classroom ten minutes late and took a seat in the back. The new guy, Professor Pricket, or Patterson, he couldn't quite remember, gave him a lecture on the importance of punctuality. He rolled his eyes and tuned him out. It wasn't like he needed this class. He was attending Hogwarts solely to improve his image and he’d already received the Outstandings he needed. So he'd spent the remainder of the class muttering confundus charms that made Professor P., yes that's what he would call him from now on, forget what he was saying and have to start over.

Yes, fucking Granger had definitely done wonders for his temperament today. He wouldn't be grinning like a devil otherwise.

* * *

 

Luna watched as Ginny flipped through the pages of her Ancient Runes book. They’d been studying and Ginny was growing impatient. She soon gave up her search and shoved the book away from her, rubbing her eyes. Luna hadn’t even looked down at her book in ten minutes. Ginny noticed her chin in her hands and questioned, "Is something bothering you, Luna?"

"Bothering me?" She asked. "No, there isn't anything bothering me. I just saw something strange earlier today."

"What did you see?"

"I can't really be sure, but I think I saw someone shagging in an empty aisle in the library."

Ginny's smirked. "Are you serious?"

Luna nodded calmly.

"Well did you see who it was?"

"I think it was Draco Malfoy. He had blonde hair."

The red head's mouth fell open. "Who was he with?"

Luna thought for a moment. She couldn't really be sure since Draco had blocked her view, but the girl had hair similar to Hermione's. She had thought it was her, but that was impossible. Everyone knew that Harry, Ron, and Hermione hated him. Although, Luna had seen them staring at each other in the Astronomy Tower…right before he saved her life. That didn't mean anything right? She thought it was better to keep her suspicions to herself. "I don't know. I didn't see her face."

"Wow. Just wow. I can't believe that git thinks he can get away with shagging in the library." She sat back in her chair, shaking her head. "In the middle of the day no less."

"Maybe he was in the heat of the moment?" Luna suggested.

"Seriously? When has anything ever been in the heat of the moment with Malfoy? Everyone knows he's a cunning, calculative, prat."

Luna sighed and stared past her. "I think he is highly misjudged."

Ginny frowned. "Really?"

"Oh yes. He has a lot of Yinderals following him." She replied matter-of-factly. "They tend to follow people who are in pain."

The other girl just shook her head. "If you say so."

Luna got up and made her way past Ginny. "You know who else has Yinderals following them lately?" She asked over her shoulder.

"Who?" Ginny obliged.

"Hermione." She said, turning and skipping off into the hall.

* * *

 

Hermione was cuddled up in her favorite chair, the new edition of  _Hogwarts_ _A History_ resting in her lap though she wasn't really reading it. She had done little of that today due to her earlier escapades. She hadn't been able to keep a smile off of her face as she finished her classes and when she had settled down in the Gryffindor Common Room she was in a really good mood.

Really she should be disappointed in herself, though, considering she showed Malfoy how weak she was, but she found that she wasn't. She felt liberated in a way and she just couldn't wrap her head around it. How could something so wrong, feel so damn good?

It was probably him. He did something to her. Made her feel alive, wanted, and a little attractive. Although she didn't really understand the last one. She had never really cared much about her appearance. She’d been too busy saving everyone’s arse and getting good grades. Her hair, although a lot tamer now than it had been in her early years, was still slightly bushy and her brown eyes looked dull to her, but apparently he didn't see it that way. Every time they were  _together_ , he'd say how sexy she was. So she couldn't help but believe there was something about her that he liked.

She just wished Ron had seen it. If he had, then maybe she wouldn't be in this mess with Malfoy.

She wanted to think that she hated him for making her feel so vulnerable, but she just couldn't bring herself to actually hate him. She'd seen a side of him she had never seen before and it intrigued her. There was a lot more to Malfoy than anyone knew and being the person she was, she wanted to dig deeper.

She knew what she was doing was dangerous, but she was kind of past the point of no return with the Slytherin. She'd already agreed to continue this friend with benefits thing. Wait…didn't you have to be friends for that to work? Yes, you probably did. So what would you call what they were doing?

_Sod it._

She didn't need a name for it. She just knew she didn't want it to stop. Her heart beat quickly in her chest as she rubbed the coin in her pocket. She knew when it burned it would mean she was going to be in seventh heaven, or hell, whichever one. It didn't really matter considering how good it was going to feel.

She smirked to herself. She never had thought of herself as a sexual being, but as it turned out, she loved sex. At least, she loved sex with Malfoy. Even if he was arrogant and snarky.

She heard the door to the room open and looked up from her book, her thoughts broken.

Ginny trudged in looking rather tired. She took a seat next to Hermione and rested her head on one hand. "What are you doing?"

"Reading." She replied, looking back at her book.

She was silent for a moment. "Is everything ok, Hermione?"

Her eyes traveled over to her friend. "Yes, of course." She said, wondering what had brought this up.

Her hazel eyes looked unconvinced. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Ginny." She insisted, returning her attention back to her book. "Really."

Ginny folded her arms across her chest and stared at her. She could feel her eyes boring into the side of her face but she didn't look back at her friend. She only listened as she spoke again. "You're still upset about Ron."

Really? She so did not want to talk about Ron right now. "No. I'm not."

"Don't lie to me Hermione. No one gets over their heartbreaking in a week."

"I'm not over it." She replied slamming the book covers together and facing her redheaded best friend. "But I'm choosing not to dwell on it. If I do, it only hurts more."

"Maybe it wouldn't if you talked it out with someone."

"With who?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. "You, his little sister? You really want to hear how your brother ripped my heart into a thousand little pieces and scattered them all over the place?" She asked, her voice raising an octave. A few students eyed them but she didn't care. "You want to hear that? You _want_ to know that I wake up every morning feeling alone? Feeling like Ron doesn't care about me? That maybe he never did? Is that what you want to hear?" Her voice was laced with venom and her expression was angry. She didn't want to be having this conversation right now. She had been in a rather good mood and now Ginny had decided to stir up all the things she had just buried away.

Ginny looked equally as pissed off, her eyes were hard but she replied calmly. "If it would make you feel better, then yes."

"Bullocks." She snorted. "You say that Ginny Weasley, but at the end of the day he is still your brother, and if you had to choose in the end, it would always be him."

"That's not true, Hermione," Her face was red now, but her voice didn't shake with the anger she was feeling. " And you know it."

Hermione cocked a brow. "Do I?"

"You  _should_ if you know me at all."

She sighed and let her face rest in her palms. "I'm…I'm sorry, Ginny. I know you care about me and your concern flatters me, it really does, but I don't want to talk to you about Ron. Can you just…just let me deal with it on my own ok?"

"I don't think that's very healthy."

"I don't care." She hissed, silencing the girl. "Let it go, Ginny." She added. "Please."

Ginny looked into her eyes and saw the painful resolve in them. "Fine. I won't bring it up again."

Hermione smiled, reached over and squeezed her hand. "Thank you."

Ginny returned the gesture and smirked. "Well, on a lighter note, I've got some rather interesting information that will cheer you up, or, at least, give you a good laugh."

"Oh really?" She asked, looking amused. "What would that be?"

"Luna told me that she saw Malfoy having sex in the library today."

If she had been drinking something, she would have choked. "Wh-what?" There was no way this could be happening. Luna saw them? Oh, no! Did she see _her_? "Are you serious?" She played as if she didn't know anything. It was the only way she could be sure her friend didn't know the truth. "I mean, who was he with?"

"Who knows?" She shrugged. "Probably one of his groupies. Though I can't believe he talked them into to doing in the library. That’s pretty bold, even for him."

Hermione felt ill, but tried to it.

"I mean, I can maybe,  _maybe_ see shagging in the restricted section at night, even I would do that, but come on. In the middle of the bloody afternoon? Anyone could have seen them. Whoever it was should really rethink their logic, shagging Malfoy for one, and doing it in the library for another. They could get expelled for shit like that."

"Yeah." She said after digesting the shock. "I guess they're lucky they didn't get caught...or expelled."

"I can't say I would mind if Malfoy got expelled, though. He always seems to pop up out of thin air causing trouble, you know? And really, he has no shame whoring about." Ginny continued, oblivious to her friends growing anxiety. "And I still can't believe girls are still falling all over him." She stopped, finally noticing the color draining from Hermione's face. "Oh, sorry. I forgot about the whole dare thing, but  that was different. You didn't kiss him because you wanted to.”

"Yeah….you're right," Hermione muttered, wishing so very badly that she could disappear to the other side of the world.

Ginny kept talking but she wasn't involved in the conversation. Her thoughts lied elsewhere.

They had nearly been caught. At the time, it had been thrilling, but now that someone she knew had seen them, well, that scared her a bit. Not as much as the fact that if her friends found out about her and Malfoy….well…she didn't want to think about what they'd say.

Ginny had pretty much made herself clear on her feelings towards the boy, and without knowing it, made clear her feelings towards Hermione fucking him.

It had taken her good mood and turned it to acid in her throat. She hoped to Godric that Ginny would stop talking soon.

She was beginning to get a headache.

* * *

 

**Sunday, Sept. 6, 1998**

It was dusk. The grounds were blanketed in darkness and the students were settling down in their common rooms and dorms. Draco had just come from a rather uncouth discussion with Pansy Parkinson. She'd wanted to stop by for a little fun and he'd turned her down….. _again_. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. She obviously had a few screws loose in that big head of hers. This had to have been the tenth time he'd told her to sod off. He hadn't even felt bad as she stormed off calling him every colorful name under the sun after he'd said he'd rather take a hex to the balls before sleeping with her again. Yeah. He'd probably pay for that later.

He sighed and dropped his books on the desk next to his bed. He had school work to do, but he didn't really feel like doing it at the moment. He had just lied down and was contemplating reading a book when he heard a tapping on the window.

Curious, he got up to see what it was. "What the-"

He opened the window and the eagle owl swooped into the room, dropping a letter on his desk, before flying out the way it came.

He slowly walked back over to his desk, picking up the letter and cautiously examining it.

Postmarked, Azkaban.

_Four days ago._

His heart faltered in his chest. Well, there went his quiet night. He opened the binding and read to himself.

_Son,_

_I apologize for not writing to you sooner though you probably haven't noticed the decline in my letters._

Oh. he had noticed, and it had been a relief.

_I've been rather busy as of late, preparing for my retrial._

Retrial? What the bloody hell was he going on about? The ministry couldn't possibly be allowing him a retrial?

_All of my hard work has paid off, I believe because it is set for the sixth at noon. I have great faith that I will be out of here and back at the Manor by this time Monday morning._

Well, that's bloody great. He thought, quickly skimming the rest of the letter.

_Although my homecoming has come earlier than expected, I am relieved to be making my appearance back into society. One of the ministry officials has agreed to have an important chat with me, so I have much to do when I return, and you and I have much to discuss during your next break. It's been far too long since I've spoken to you. I trust that you are doing well in your studies and that you've gotten back on your professors' good sides? I hope you have. It will be better for all of us if that is the case._

_I don't expect a letter in return, seeing as how I've received none from you so far. I'd say it hurts me deeply to know my son hasn't even sent one message to his beloved father, or responded to any of his letters, but you know me better than that don't you? I do, however, expect your return to the Manor as soon as you are permitted. You may be of age, but you are still my son and furthermore a Malfoy. You have a duty to your name and you will respect it, and respect me._

_Also, tell no one of my return. They'll see it for themselves soon enough._

_Signed,_

_Your Father_

Anger boiled in his chest as the parchment crumpled in his fist.

He was used to the cold, callous way his father talked to him, but it always shocked him how he could transfer that feeling into a bloody letter.

What the  _fuck_ was _this_ shit?

His father was getting out? And the trial had been today?

Un- _fucking_ -believable.

Didn't they know what kind of person they were letting go? And what kind of Ministry official would have a "chat" with his old man? Not a bloody sane one. They would have to be a lunatic to think he could be trusted with anything.

Lucius may have cowered in fear in the presence of the Dark Lord, but now that he was gone, Draco was sure he'd revert back to his old self. That wasn't a pleasant thought in the slightest.

Not that he had ill intent towards his family, his mother he cared for. She had spent his whole life trying to make up for the things that he lacked, coddling and spoiling him while his father would….well let's just say he wouldn't be jumping in front of a killing curse for the bastard anytime soon.

To Lucius, Draco was pretty much just a means to an end. He was needed to carry on his bloodline, an heir and ultimately a puppet that would do his bidding. He'd taken great measures to ensure Draco's loyalty to him and his family. So for years Draco had followed his father blindly, soaking up all the bull shit Lucius fed him and spitting it back at those who didn't match his definition of worthy. It had taken him at least _half_ of that time to realize that what he truly believed, and what his mouth was saying, were two different things entirely. Unfortunately by the time he figured that out, it had been far too late. He was already under his father's complete control, and then under the Dark Lord’s.

He didn't have to worry about  _him_ anymore, but he did know what his father was still capable of. While he  _had_  grown strong in the Dark Arts, he didn't know if he had enough resolve to oppose his father, or the guts to use magic against him. Years of Cruciatus curses and dominance would do that to anyone. When his father said jump, his automatic response would be 'how high'? He was still programmed to want to please, a part of him still wanting to make his father proud. It sickened him to his core to think he would bend to his father's will but it was in his blood. He couldn't go against him….or at least, he couldn't in the past.

He wondered what his father had to discuss with him during the break. It couldn't be good.  _Nothing_  Lucius ever did was good. Unless you counted the extravagant dinner parties. But who was counting those?

If his letter was any indication, Draco could expect to be given a role to play. His father undoubtedly had something planned, and he probably needed his assistance to execute it. Wasn't he always involved in his father's schemes after all? He just hoped it wasn't as horrid as his brain was making it out to be.

He'd  _like_  to think it was about a bloody engagement, or something equally as boring. That he could deal with. He'd already known that he was expected to marry a pureblood. He also knew that it didn't mean he had to love them or like them even. He didn't even have to like sleeping with them. He was just expected to produce an heir, who would surely succumb to the same malicious upbringing that he'd had if his father had any say in it. He'd already come to terms with that and prepared himself to be an adulterer because let's face it, Draco Malfoy couldn't love anyone. It just wasn't in his blood.

So as much as he wanted to believe that his father had been talking about an engagement, he knew the dark undertones that the message held. It didn't bode well. He wouldn't be talking about his studies or getting on his teachers good sides otherwise.

Yes. Lucius was up to something. That much was bloody obvious. Draco just hoped he was strong enough to resist him now. He didn't want to add any more material that would fuel on his nightmares. He was just beginning to forget them.

He could already feel the growing ache starting up behind his eyes. Soon he knew his hands would start to shake, his breath would slow, the acid in his stomach would start to burn and everything would dim. It's what always happened when he started thinking about his past. About his father. About the war.

Without thinking he placed his hand in his pocket, rubbing the coin gingerly, his eyes falling on his half empty bottle sitting on the table. He could always drown his anxiety away in that topaz liquid, but the alternative was much more preferable. He wanted to see Granger.

* * *

 

Hermione felt the coin in her pocket heating up. She glanced around the room to see if anyone was paying attention to her.

They weren't.

She turned in her chair and took out the galleon, reading the words flashing gold on its surface.

**_My dorm room._ **

**_Now preferably_ ** _._

Was he out of his bloody mind?

They'd already been exposed. Well,  _he_  had at least. Not that he knew that, but  _she_  did.

She still couldn't believe that it had been Luna's footsteps they'd heard yesterday. It still had her heart racing.

She stared down at the coin. Should she respond? Should she go? It wasn't like they had agreed to drop everything they were doing whenever the other called for them….

She looked up, scanning the room once more. It wasn't like anyone would notice her absence, though, and if she went, then maybe she could tell him that they should be more careful, that they were almost exposed, and that she would  _not_  be summoned every time he had a hard on.

Yes. She would meet with him to discuss the etiquette that would go along with this…thing, and _then_ maybe she'd sleep with him.  _Maybe_.

She got up and headed towards the exit. No one stopped her or even noticed her move until the door swung open from the outside, a very pissed of Harry looming in the frame. Hermione almost collided with him. "Where are you off to?" He asked.

"Um, nowhere really….why?"

"I need your help." He said, pointing at his Transfiguration book.

"Really, Harry, you're worried about school work? You've already got a job lined up." She said trying to move past him.

He blocked her. "It doesn't matter. They want me to at least make an effort to pass my classes and quite honestly, I've been slacking off."

She sighed. "So I'm supposed to come to your rescue then?"

"Yes." He smiled and nodded. “Please?” He added for good measure.

"I have somewhere to be." She tried again to get around him. "So please move, Harry."

"You said you weren't going anywhere."

"I'm not…."

"Then help me." He pouted. "Please."

She felt the coin grow hot again in her pocket but kept her gaze fixed on Harry. He was her friend, one of her  _best_  friends. It wouldn't be right to choose sex over helping him.

 _Malfoy can wait_ , she decided, motioning for Harry sit down. _He'd understand...right?_

* * *

 

 

**_Chapter revised_ **

 


	11. Broken Mirrors and Guilty Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being receiving a letter from his father and being stood up by Hermione, Draco takes to a bottle for comfort.

 

 

**Sunday, September 6, 1998**

Blaise had been having a good night. He and Theo had taken up a game of poker in the Great Common with Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnegan. It had ended with one cursing Irishman, a solemn Longbottom, a laughing Theo, and a hefty amount of galleons in Blaise's pocket. Curses aside, it had been a fun game and he'd quite enjoyed himself.

He was actually surprised at how well he'd been getting along with the other houses. Most of his housemates still despised the others and didn't associate with them much, especially Gryffindor's, and  _most_ specifically, those affiliated with Potter, but Blaise didn't mind talking to them. They were decent blokes.

He also wasn't normally one to jump on the bandwagon, but now that the school was all about "House Unity" he had somehow found that he was going along for the ride. He didn't see why he had to hate people that had done nothing to him. Theo, on the other hand, still hated the Gryffindor's, but not so much that he wasn't willing to drink with them or take their money in a game of cards.

He suspected that most of his mates were still hell bent on believing they were better because they were pure or half-bloods, but at least now they weren't as openly hostile to it. He was grateful for that. During the war, he and his mother had made sure they played neutral, but he was still glad that Potter and his friends had won. He didn't want to know what the world would have been like if The Dark Lord had  _really_ killed Potter. It would have probably resulted in more bloodshed, bred more hatred, and driven his best mate to the brink of insanity.

Well, now that he thought about it, his best mate was probably already there. Before, his emotions were always hidden away behind that mask of his. He never got really angry, aggravated perhaps, but never enough to lash out. He was usually pretty composed. Now if you even looked at him wrong he would make a snide remark and lately he'd been particularly nasty to Pansy, not that she didn't do anything to deserve it. She’d been persistent, and that had to have been rubbing the blonde the wrong way.

There was also the drinking to be considered. He didn't know when Draco had taken up such an addictive habit, but he had come back to Hogwarts with a seemingly endless supply of Fire whiskey and rum. He didn't know how many bottles of the stuff he himself had thrown out, only to come back the next day to a new, half empty bottle sitting on the desk. It worried him. More so than he'd ever let Draco know. His best mate didn't like to be pitied, and he didn't like his family business aired all over the place. At least, not anymore. Not since the war.

If people hated him before, they certainly hated him now. Maybe that added to his list of reasons to drink at all hours of the day though lately Blaise noticed that he hadn't been drinking  _as_ much, but that could have been due to his trysts with Granger.

Yeah. That was probably it. Maybe the girl was doing him some good.

Now that was a fucked up thought. Granger doing Draco some good? It was laughable even, but not any less,  _disturbingly_ , true. He wouldn't have been trying to help them along if he thought any different. His friend needed to have some fun, even if it meant hooking up with the Gryffindor.

Speaking of having fun, Theo wasn't ready to go back to their room, so he left Blaise in favor of finding some action in the Slytherin Common. No doubt seeking out Pansy to see if she was ready to move on from her crush on their dormmate.

Blaise headed back to his room, thinking about all the things he was going to buy with his newfound fortune. All in all, it had been a great night and he wished to end it on a good note.

It was quite unfortunate then, that Draco had other plans.

The moment Blaise opened the door he knew something was terribly wrong.

The air was thick with tension and the room was dark, save for the flickering fire still burning in the fireplace. He inhaled deeply. It reeked of fire whiskey though he couldn't figure out why. He quickly called out, “Lumos”, his eyes popping open in shock at the sight.

The room was in complete disarray, chairs toppled over, books scattered all over the place, and broken glass littering the floor near the bed on the furthest wall. He squatted down and picked up a shard, flipping it over in his palm. Upon further inspection, he realized it was part of a whiskey bottle.

 _Well,_ _that explained the smell._  The liquor was spilled all over the floor.

He stood up slowly. What was going on? He thought his friend had been in a good mood as of late. So what the bloody hell was this mess? Where was he?

He heard a crash and the sound of shattering glass coming from the direction of the new dorm bathroom. "Draco?" He called out in alarm. He got no response so he rushed into the dimly lit room, only to see the blonde slumped under the sink, eyes closed and broken glass surrounding him.

"Bloody hell mate!" He exclaimed, kneeling carefully down amongst the aftermath of Draco's drunken rampage. "What the fuck happened?"

Draco opened his eyes when Blaise grabbed his hand to inspect his bloodied knuckles. "Oh, Blaise…." He said after a moment. "I…thought you were…someone else."

Blaise ignored his words and whispered, " _Episkey_." The broken skin started stitching itself back up, but they were still swollen and red. "What  _the fuck_  happened here Draco?" He asked again.

His eyes seemed unfocused as he answered. "I…I got angry."

"I can see that," Blaise replied, checking his other hand for damages. "But what the bleeding hell made you so mad that you put your hand through a sodding mirror?"

Draco yanked his hand free before trying, and failing, to stand. "None of your bloody business."

Blaise shook his head. "I think it  _is_ my business! Considering the room  _you_  trashed happens to belong to Theo and me too."

Draco shrugged and kicked a piece of glass, sending it skirting across the pale gray tiles. "Better than beating the shit out of someone."

Blaise had to admit that it was probably true. He'd much rather clean up this mess, the trashed room and  _Draco's_  bloodied hand than having to clean up someone  _else's_ blood from his friends hands. He stooped down and slid an arm around him. "Come on, let's just get you out of this mess." Draco flung one arm up behind Blaise's neck, letting the boy help him to his feet.

Draco complied and let Blaise lead him back into the dorm. Blaise helped him slump down onto the mattress. "Fuckin Circe." He groaned, rolling onto his side.

"Out with it mate," Blaise urged after a moment, not wanting him to pass out without hearing the truth. Gods knew Draco only talked about his true feelings when intoxicated. If he fell asleep now he'd never know what had driven him to act out this violently. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Why do you even care?" Draco moaned, "It's not like you've  _never_  seen me drunk before."

"Not this drunk I haven't." He looked around the room once more, taking a mental note of all the broken things that were thrown about. "And something tells me something happened to you tonight, and I want to know what it is."

Draco sat up, his eyes darkening for a moment. "You have no idea what you're asking of me."

"What's so horrible that you can't tell…" Blaise cut himself off. He had seen that look before...

Draco got up, stumbling to the desk, opening a hidden door on its side. "I need another drink."

Blaise was up and on him in a second flat. "I'm not going to sit by and let you do this to yourself, Draco." Blaise pried the bottle from his hand. "Get your shit together!"

"How can I?" He half cried, "When  _he's_ getting out!"

"What?" Blaise asked confused and shocked by the desperate look on his friends face. "Who? Who is getting out?"

"My father you twit!" Draco spat, his voice laced with anger. "He's getting out of Azkaban. I got a letter from him today. Bloody boasting he was, acting all high and mighty. Fucking wanker. I hate him."

So Lucius was getting out of prison? How had that happened? Well, at least, that explained the state of things. He had always known the man to be a foul example of a wizard if even half the things he heard about him were true.

Draco never said much about him, but on a few occasions, he'd disclosed some rather disturbing information to Blaise. This wasn't good news, not for him, not for Draco, and certainly not for the Wizarding World. Someone must be playing a joke on them, and a horrible one at that. "Where? Where is the letter?" He wanted to see the proof with his own eyes.

"Burnt it," Draco answered, looking over at the fireplace. "I didn't want it lying around, fucking with my mind….." His eyes seemed to be lost in its flames, his mind likewise. It was disturbing to watch.

"Are you alright?"

Draco snapped back to reality. "Just peachy." He mocked, looking at Blaise with such contempt that it frightened him a little. "Of course, I'm not alright!"He gave the upturned chair closest to him a good kick. The sound of it crashing against the wall made Blaise shiver despite himself. " _My father is coming back."_ He hissed through gritted teeth. "I thought I was finally free of him." He began pacing the floor, his hair and eyes wild. "I was beginning to think I was my own person, that I had my own thoughts and feelings. I thought I could get over what happened during the war, you know, turn over a new leaf or some shit like that. But how the fuck am I supposed to do that with him dictating over me again? I'll never be free of him. Never. As long as we're both breathing he'll be in control….."

"Draco…" Blaise started but was interrupted.

" _And then_ …I thought, maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe I can do what I want anyways….you know…I've already been doing a great job of it, lying about Potter, going against the Dark Lord's wishes, and the biggest offense of all,  _dirtying_ myself by fucking the very thing he despises. But even as I thought that, I was calling her…I wanted to see her, wanted to talk to her. Do you have any idea how confusing that was?"

Blaise just stared blankly at him. He had no idea where his inebriated friend was going with this.

"I hate talking about myself. You know that best of all, Blaise, but  _she_...she makes me want to tell her all my deepest darkest secrets." He turned back to look at him. "Why the hell is that? Why do I feel so compelled to let her in? It doesn't make any bloody sense!" He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, again. "I'm just using her…so why did I call for her? I thought it was just so I could let off steam, get off and not worry about it anymore, but when she didn't come….I realized I how much I really wanted to talk about my father…and she didn't show…..so…I got angry….I got stupid. I can't deal with this mate, I just can't. I'm so bloody confused, it's driving me mad."

Ok. Hold up. Who was this guy and what did he do with Draco? "So what exactly is it that you're saying? That the reason why you trashed the place was because of your father? Or, was it because you wanted to talk to Granger and she didn't come?"

"I don't even know anymore." He admitted, sitting down on the bed and rubbing his knees with his hands. "I  _used_ to have all the answers, even the ones I knew were wrong." He sighed and lied back. "But, with Granger, I never do…..and that's what scares me... because she's everywhere...in class...in the hall...and in my head." His breathing was calmer and Blaise could see that his eyes were closed. "She's  _always_  in my head..."

Blaise's lips twisted into a small smile.

Well. That was an unexpected revelation, even if Draco had no idea he'd made one.

Things were about to get  _very_  interesting in Hogwarts. That was for damn sure.

* * *

 

**Monday, September 7, 1998**

The Gryffindor table was strangely quiet when Hermione sat down with her friends for breakfast. She wondered what had them all so tense. She didn't have to wonder long.

Hermione looked over at Seamus, who was reading the morning edition of  _The Daily Prophet_. His eyes were wide with a tint of anger in them. "I can't believe me eyes."

"Let me see!" exclaimed Ron, snatching the paper out of his friends hand. His eyes scanned the page and his mouth popped open in shock. "You've got to be fuckin kidding me."

"What's wrong, Ron?" Harry asked, holding out his hand indicating he wanted the paper next.

"Fucking Malfoy is being acquitted." Ron slammed his hand on the table. "Are they out of their bloody minds?"

Harry shushed him as he read the article. She leaned over him so she could see for herself.

Sure enough, there he was. Lucius Malfoy, looking rather dirty and unkempt but otherwise healthy, grinning and shaking hands with the man next to him. Apparently there was enough evidence to suggest that he had willingly gone against the Dark Lord, helping prisoners escape and had withdrawn from the Battle at Hogwarts. Many thought it justifiable that he stay in Azkaban for permitting the Dark Lord use of his Manor and for forcing his son to bear the Dark Mark, but obviously, he'd slithered his way out of that one.

 _Bloody figures_.

Hermione shook her head sadly. She wondered if Draco knew yet.

 _Wait_.

He  _had_ to know. It was his father after all.

 _Oh no_. Maybe that's why he'd wanted to meet her last night.

 _Blast!_ The one time he'd actually needed her, and she'd stood him up.

She turned to look over her shoulder, searching the Slytherin table for him. He was there, staring at a boy across from him who had the same paper in his grasp.

 _Yes. He knew._  And from the way he was shooting daggers at his father's face, she knew he wasn't quite happy about the situation. She mentally kicked herself. Why hadn't she gone? She'd wanted to. But then…

He was looking at her now. His eyes hard and his mouth pressed into a thin line. It was only for a moment but she thought he looked slightly pissed off as he tore his gaze from hers and shifted so she couldn't see his face.

Yes. He was definitely mad at her. Not that she could blame him.

"The Ministry is bonkers if they let him out of there." Ron continued, breaking her out of her thoughts. "I mean look at all the shit the bastard has done."

"I agree with you, Ron," Harry nodded, "But he I suppose he _did_  leave the battlefield and refuse to fight."

"So what? That don't matter Harry! He's a fuckin murderer. He shouldn't be allowed to roam free. And speaking of murderous pricks," Hermione noticed that Ron's angry gaze was now on the place hers had been a moment before. " _Malfoy_  deserves to be locked away right next to his barmy arse father. They were bloody nutters for letting him come back here."

Hermione shivered remembering the chilling words Malfoy had whispered not so long ago. " _I'm a monster. I deserve to be in Azkaban with my father for the things that I've done."_ His sad voice was ringing in her ears.

"I don't think he deserves that." She said, looking down at the wooden grooves of the table, her hands wringing in her lap . "He didn't  _want_ to do those things."

Ron wrinkled his nose in distaste. "What?"

Harry adjusted his glasses. "That’s true. He’s not a great bloke by any means, but he did help us at the mano-"

"You're both nutters. Weren't  _you_  the one who went on and on about Malfoy being a Death Eater, Harry? Well, you found out you were right and then you go and help him get out of prison. I never understood why the hell you did that."

"We already went through this. He deserves a lot of things, Ron, but prison isn't one of them," Said Harry simply.

They heard a commotion behind them and turned to see a burning newspaper and an angry Malfoy getting up and briskly walking out of the room, ignoring all the stares and quiet whispering.

Hermione watched him go, a feeling of guilt settling in her stomach. "I think he probably suffers more than you know, Ron. I bet he punishes himself enough as it is, for  _his_ wrong doings  _and_ his fathers." She added after a moment.

Ron shook his head. "Right, like I'd believe that vile Slytherin felt bad about anything in his life."

"Just because he's a Slytherin doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings, Ronald." She replied hotly.

His red brows shot up in surprise. "So you're _defending_ him now? One bloody kiss and you're gun-ho on protecting the bloody ferret."

"Me kissing Malfoy has _nothing_ to do with the current conversation, Ron."

"I disagree. I think it has  _everything_ to do with the conversation."

They glared at each other, the tension between them rising.

"Alright," Harry interjected, sensing that this was going to head downhill fast. "Enough you two. I'm getting a headache from all your rowing."

Hermione hated when he did that, trying to take the focus off something that needed to be talked about.

Ginny nodded in agreement while giving Ron a dirty look. "When are you guys going to stop this feud and be civil to one another?"

"When he (she) stops being an idiot." They answered simultaneously.

Her friends fell silent, once again because of her and Ron, and she sighed. She felt bad, really she did. She  _hated_ fighting with Ron, especially when it put her friends in a bad position. She knew they weren't choosing sides, but she couldn't help but feel like she was the one who undoubtedly got left out in the cold, while Ron, with his big head and attitude, got to stay right where he was. But that was probably because he was the most stubborn out of the two of them.

They stared at each other for a few minutes and just like always, it was her that rose to leave, muttering, "I'm going to get some air."

But it wasn't just the fight that had her wanting to get out of there, it was also the fact that one blonde haired Slytherin hadn't come back, and the look on his face as he left worried her.

* * *

 

Draco didn't like the atmosphere that surrounded him. It was suffocating. He couldn't take all the stares he was receiving, all the whispers, all the bloody newspapers clutched in the hands of his peers. It was infuriating and made him want to scream.

Last night had been dreadful, he'd acted like a sodding child and he hated himself for it, but today….today was so much worse. Now,  _everyone_ knew. Everyone saw his father's face on the fucking front page. Everyone was looking at him, either in pity or scorn and to make matters worse,  _she'd_ seen.

Miss noble, know-it-all, Granger, had read the article and looked straight at him, self-serving pity in her eyes.

_Fuck her._

She hadn't shown up when he needed her. Not that he'd wanted to talk about any of this shit, but he'd wanted to fuck her into next week, if only to forget the anger and uncertainty burning in his chest.

It was her fault his knuckles were still tender. It was her fault Blaise had walked in on his little tantrum and being the good friend he was, offered to get him some help. He didn't fucking need help. What he needed was a train ticket to the other side of the world, where he could forget everything about his past and wouldn’t have to worry about his future. What he _needed_ was a moment of relaxation, a moment to breathe, a moment where it didn't matter who he was.

But he didn't have that luxury. He was still here. He was still a Malfoy. And  _she_ was still looking at him.

Someone said his father's name and his blood boiled. His eyes shot over to the paper the kid in front of him was holding. Without even lifting his wand he made the paper explode into flames, the boy holding it cried out in alarm.

Draco got up, without speaking one word to anyone, and stalked out of the Hall, wanting to be as far away from the crowd, and Granger, as possible.

He was a fool. He  _knew_ he shouldn't have gotten involved with the fucking mudblood. It had been ill planned at best, but even now, when he was so angry with her for ditching him, he still wanted her. Maybe even more than he had before. But the fact remained. She hadn't come last night. And he was pissed about it. He wanted to yell at her, call her every name he knew, tell her how filthy she was. He wanted to kiss her, hurt her, make her suffer. Anything that would make him feel better.

But would calling her names really make him feel better?

No, probably not.

But he had to do  _something_...she was making him crazy and she had to pay for that...somehow.

He was taken from his thoughts by the sound of hurried footsteps behind him.

He didn't even bother looking to see who it was. He knew, just from the smell of her perfume.

"Sod off, Granger. I'm not in the mood." He spat, quickening his pace to further his distance from her. Just because he wanted her, wanted to hurt her, didn't mean he wanted to do it at this very moment. It could prove to be disastrous. He was still fuming...if she said the wrong thing...well...he didn't want to think about what he might do to her.

"Malfoy!" she called again, her voice sounding ever so guilty. It was kind of nice, hearing her guilt filled voice for once. "Wait."

"Why should I?"

"Because….I want to talk." She was right behind him now, trying desperately to get his attention. She reached out and grabbed the sleeve of his robe. "Please…talk to me."

"Talk?" he asked, his voice cracking a bit."  _Now_ you want to talk?" He spun around, grabbing a hold of here robes, and propelling her backward into the wall, "Ok let's have a chat then shall we?" He hissed, his fists clenching around the material in his hands. "For starters, where the  _fuck_ were you last night?"

Her eyes widened in surprise at his growing anger. "I..I'm sorry…I was…I couldn't come."

"Well, I got that much." He spat. "I asked where you  _were_."

"Helping. I was helping Harry…" She whispered, wincing as his grip tightened at the mention of Harry's name.

"Oh is that  _all_? I was under the impression that it was something  _important_." He ground out, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know…I mean…" She glanced down at the hands clenching tightly at her robes. "Draco, what happened to your hand? Why is it so red?"

He suddenly released her, backing up. "It’s nothing."

_Never misses a thing does she?_

She cocked a brow. "Yeah, that looks like nothing."

"Don't give me that look, acting like you care about my _wounds_." He retorted, rubbing his knuckles apprehensively. He felt uncomfortable with her staring at him like that.

"I  _do_  care."

 _Hah._ "Sure, and I'm the Minister for Magic." he scoffed.

"Shut up." She reached out for his hand. "Just let me see."

"Fuck off."

She frowned. " _Malfoy_."

" _Granger_ ," he snapped moving back in with her. "You're walking a fine line, a  _very_ fine line. Don't overstep your boundaries."

"Or what?" She queried. "You'll hurt me?"

His eyes flashed.  _If she only knew how much-_ "I want to."

She didn't seem surprised by this. "But you won't."

He took another step forward, placing his palms flat against the wall on either side of her head, his eyes narrowing into slits. "What makes you so sure?"

"I just know." She insisted her big doe eyes level with his. "If you wanted to hurt me, you would have done it already. No one has even  _come_ down this hallway… And the longer we stand here, the less angry you are. So if you wanted to hurt me, you would have done so within the first few seconds of our contact."

He just stared at her for a moment, deciding whether or not what she was saying was true. He had wanted to hurt her….but his anger had lessened considerably. "Whatever." He finally retorted, still standing motionless in front of her. "The point is, I could hurt you….if I wanted to."

She was silent for a moment, probably choosing her next words wisely. "I know…."

"Then I wouldn't go trying to piss me off, Granger. It's dangerous."

"I'm not trying to piss you off Malfoy. I meant what I said. I'm sorry I didn't come. I had no idea what you were going through…and your dad…when you called last night…and I didn't show up…If I would have known, I would have helped-"

"Stop with your fucking pity, Granger. I don't want it." he moved his upper body closer to hers, his lips just inches from her pink ones. "I don't want your bloody help either. I'm not some fucking charity case. ' _Oh look at poor little Malfoy, he's fallen so low. We must take pity on the boy with daddy issues and a drinking problem.'._ "He mocked. "Fuck that. I don't need it, and I certainly don't want it." He grinned menacingly. "What I  _want_ , is your body, Granger. It's all I ever want."

Then he kissed her. His lips slammed roughly into hers, his hands groping her through her robes, their bodies folding into each other. He couldn't stop the desire that was unyielding itself. He had been so angry with her last night. So incredibly angry, but this…this was what he really wanted…

"Stop..." she moaned after a few moments of allowing him to kiss her. "We can't."

"We can." He continued, kissing her jaw. "We have."

"But we were almost caught!" She shoved against his chest. "Luna saw you!"

He sighed and let go of her. "Looney saw what?"

" _You,_ idiot!" she huffed. "She saw you in the library, thank Godric you were blocking her view of me, or the whole bloody school would know about us by now."

"Then we'll just have to be more careful." He shrugged, taking a step backward.

"That's what I'm saying. You can't just go snogging me in the hallway any time you bloody well please."

The corner of his mouth twitched into a half smile. "So I guess I'll just have to snog you somewhere else."

She grinned and he grabbed her hand, dragging her into the nearest broom closet.

She was so paying for standing him up last night.

* * *

 

Luna had noticed that Hermione hadn't returned from her "air break" and had gone to check on her. She knew the Gryffindor was strong and stubborn but everyone had their moments of weakness, and lately she'd seen a lot of Hermione's insecurities. To her, they were plain as day, though she knew others weren't so in tuned with magical creatures and peoples emotions. She also knew that many of those people viewed her as strange, but she couldn't really help that. She just saw the world, and people, differently from most.

She liked to look at it as a gift. Her mother was the same way and she had loved her mother. Anything that resembled her, Luna cherished. Besides, she felt like she had a better grasp on life, and on death, because of it. That was probably the reason why she saw what others so desperately tried to hide.

Like now for example.

Had she been anyone else, she would have viewed this scene in an entirely different manner. Any other witch (or wizard) who had stumbled upon this would have either intervened or went to find someone who would. Because to anyone else, this would seem like a desperate situation. They would see a menacing looking Death Eater on the verge of attacking his prey, said prey looking like they were about to fight.

What she saw was something  _much_ different, and  _much_ more confusing to her person. She saw pain, not hostility, on his pale face, and concern, not fears on hers. Their stance wasn't that of struggle, but of uncertainty, as they stared at each other, their bodies moving ever so close to one another.

She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she didn't have to. Their body language was all but screaming the desire they felt at the moment. When their lips met she knew what it meant.

She backed away slowly, not wanting to disturb them. If she had any doubts that it had been her friend in the library with Malfoy that day, they were gone now. It  _had_ been Hermione. She  _was_ involved with him. This fact didn't shock Luna, though. She had always thought they had unresolved sexual tension, dating all the way back to their fourth year.

But then again, she could see what others couldn't.

She hurried away from the couple and rounded the corner, Ron Weasley's face coming into her view.

"Have you seen Hermione, Luna?" He called out to her. "I wanted to talk to her."

"Yes." She replied, keeping him from proceeding down the hall. "I did actually….she went into the courtyard."

"The courtyard huh?" He turned to leave. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She watched him disappear down the hall, taking a moment to glance back around the corner. The awkward couple had disappeared as well.

Luna smiled and hummed a tune as she returned to the Great Hall. The Yinderals weren't following Hermione today. So she figured she would keep what she'd seen to herself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I see a plot on the horizon?  
> Yes, I do believe I do. :) Hope you all still like it.


	12. Nightmares and a Plot for Power

 

 

**Monday, September 7, 1998**

Hermione rubbed her lower back in irritation. She didn't know why they even  _called_ them broom closets. They were mostly filled with old school books, empty vials, and Petri dishes. You know, all the breakable items they didn't want lying around. And the one they had just occupied was more of a room than a closet, considering its large size and the fact that it had a small, cluttered table.

So in the broom closet, that mostly lacked its namesake, Hermione gave in. It was the least she could do considering she had ignored him the night before. So it was probably karma, or maybe just really bad luck, that in the middle of their heated tryst she'd found the sole broom the room contained. It had poked into her flesh as they had exchanged violent kisses. She hadn't had time to move to a more comfortable position, so she had endured the agitating object as they continued attacking each others clothes.

He had hurriedly ushered a charm and hadn't even bothered with foreplay or getting her "ready". This time hadn't been about her at all. It was about him. He'd taken out all his pent up anger on her. She could tell by the way he ravaged her, holding her tightly, and slamming into her roughly. A few times he had even bitten her hard enough that she was sure he'd broken the skin. She didn't resist it, though. She let him. She knew it was what he needed. He didn't want to talk about his father, at least not to her. She could understand that. It wasn't like they were "friends." But even if they were, she doubted that he told his Slytherin buddies about his problems. It was just part of him being a Malfoy. Keep your problems and emotions to yourself, or something like that.

So instead of talking to him about it, she let him show her how angry he was by the use of her body. She let him spill his emotions out in the form of hot, angry kisses and rough, bruising shagging. It didn't really hurt like she expected it would. It was actually kind of sadistically exciting to her, the twinge of pain and pleasure at the same time. When it was over, and they had regained their composure, she was sort of sorry it had to end. She liked him taking so much control.

They had proven that they could do this with no strings attached. But there had been a moment, somewhere between his teeth sinking into her neck and her sighing his name, that she felt they had some other kind of connection. Though she really couldn't be sure.

Godric she was bloody mental.

There must be something completely fucked up in her head. To think she enjoyed having this kind of vile relationship with Malfoy, it was _crazy_ , but it worked.  _Somehow_ , it worked.

She heard someone call her name as she made her way down the hall.

"Hermione?"

_Oh,_ _great._

"I thought you were out in the courtyard?"

She turned, making eye contact with the redhead. "Who told you that, Ronald?"

"Luna did-" He was giving her a curious look, his head cocked to the side and his mouth slightly open. "'Mione, did I just see you come out of a broom closet?"

Her heart fluttered. Had he seen Malfoy exit before her? "Luna was mistaken and…Yes, what of it?"

"What bloody business do you have in a broom closet?"

"Inventory…" She noticed that he was looking way to hard at the place where her jaw met her neck. Maybe there was a mark…"Professor Flitwick wanted me to do it yesterday but I forgot." She said hastily, lacing her fingers around her wand and trying desperately to perform a silent illusion charm on her neck.

"Inventory?" He asked suspiciously, stepping closer to her. "Of what? Brooms?"

"There's actually a shortage of brooms in there, to be honest." She retorted, backing up and placing her hand on her neck as he advanced. "But let's not get carried away with talk of brooms.” She waved a dismissive hand in front of her face. “You said you were you looking for me?"

His face lost its suspicious frown and he nodded. "Yes, I wanted to talk to you about earlier."

She inwardly cringed. "What about it?"

He placed a hand on her shoulder. Somehow it felt different than all the other times he touched her. "I want to stop fighting with you.I hate it, Hermione. I hate us like this."

"I hate it too, Ron." She admitted, still confused as to why she found his hand intrusive.

"Then let's stop, ok?"

"Are you going to stop being a  _twit_?" She asked a little more harshly than she'd intended. She kind of just wanted to be away from him. Her body was aching and her head was spinning from all of the day’s events.

He gave her his goofy half smile. The one that she used to do anything to see. "Maybe?"

"Alright, well, I've got things to do…so I'll see you later, Ron."

"Yeah, see you, Hermione." He said, giving her a nod before walking back the way he came.

Draco laid across the bed, his hands cradling his head as they rested on two propped up pillows. He stretched his long legs out and crossed his ankles over each other. He actually felt good right now. Calm. Satisfied.

All the anger he had been feeling had lifted the moment he made a mess of that broom closet or was it, Granger, he made a mess of? Who cared? His anger had dissipated for the moment, which was a good thing. His knuckles didn't need another cut in them.

He wondered what Granger was doing. Probably covering the love bites he'd given her. There had been a lot more than usual. He'd been unnecessarily rough this time, pounding into her like a crazed madman, but she didn't seem to mind. Which was good. It meant she could take it.

Blaise opened the door slowly, peeking his head in before coming inside. "I'm surprised you're looking so well." He said. "I thought I'd come back to find the room in shambles again."

Draco smiled. "Yes, well that was a possibility, but then something came up."

Blaise grinned. "I'm going to assume your good mood is because you fixed things with Granger then?"

Draco turned his head to the side to look at him. "When exactly did you-?"

"Really mate?" Did he have the attention span of a goldfish?

"You really do know then, about Granger and I? I figured you didn’t believe me when I told you I hadn’t been with her."

"Yeah," He thought they had that established already. "I thought you knew, seeing as how we talked about it last night." He grinned. " But then again, you  _were_ pretty fucked up…."

'Hah, hah. Very funny." Draco mocked. "Joking aside." His face turned serious. "Don't tell anyone about her."

"As if you even  _needed_  to tell me that." Blaise scoffed. "I'm not mental. I wouldn't do anything that would put you, or her, in danger of being found out, not with your father walking around free somewhere."

Sometimes Blaise really surprised him. How could anyone be such a good friend to such a stuck up jerk like himself? "You must be crazy."

"Huh?"

"For putting up with my shit all the time, I mean."

"Well someone has to." He shrugged.

Draco knew that was a bloody lie. Blaise wouldn't be friends with him if he didn't want to. "I know this is going to sound weird..."

"What could you  _possibly_  say that would weird me out?"

Draco smiled. "Thank you."

Blaise's face was blank for a moment before his cheeks puffed out and a stifled laugh escaped his lips.

"Told you." Draco quipped with a smirk.

"Sorry...sorry.." He laughed. "You were right...so weird..."

"I know, right?"

"You really don't say that often, do you?"

Draco thought for a moment. The only people he ever thanked sincerely were his mother, his Quidditch captain third year, Blaise, and...Granger. "No, I don't."

"Then I'll count myself lucky."

Draco didn't think being friends with him was very lucky, but he was grateful that he, at least, had someone like Blaise on his side. If he didn't...well he was afraid of what may have happened to him last night.

Hermione shut her book with an exasperated whine. She just couldn't focus on her studies tonight. Every time she turned a page or wrote down a note  _he_ would barge into her mind, disrupting her thoughts.

Even though they had worked out their "problem" by hooking up, that hurt expression he'd given her at breakfast still bothered her. He had looked so… _pained_.

Yes. That was a good word to describe the cold expression in his eyes that morning.

Well, before he had resorted to anger and set a newspaper on fire, that is. She guessed she sort of had a minor breakthrough with him. He hadn't hurt her like she initially thought he would, but he  _did_ ignore the situation by turning it into a snog fest. She kind of wished that he'd talk to her. She knew she probably ruined her chances of him opening up to her by ignoring him last night, but how was she supposed to know his psycho father was out? Was she supposed to read the gits mind?

Ok. So that was a flimsy excuse, but that's all she had.

She closed her eyes and rested her head on the table. She wanted to talk to him. Not just the flirty banter they'd been sharing as of late, but  _really_ talk to him. It didn't even have to be about his father. It could be about anything, bloody  _fairies_ for all she cared, she just wanted him to acknowledge her as someone he could trust.

Maybe that was too much to ask given the context of their relationship, but if he would let her in a bit then maybe she could get over this sick feeling in her stomach.

She was obviously thinking about him way more than she should, so she got up, grabbed her book and headed for her dorm. It had been a  _long_ day. She didn't want to think about Malfoy or school anymore. She was going to bed.

* * *

 

**Tuesday, September 8, 1998**

_The sound of rain hitting the rooftop echoed throughout the room. She traced the small raindrops as they slid down the window with her finger. It was cold, and kind of lonely waiting here. But she knew he'd be here soon. He never left her here for long._

_She heard the telltale crack of someone apparating in the next room and jumped to her feet._

_She met him halfway between the dining room and the hallway. He was wearing that fitting, black coattail cloak, complete with his green scarf and gray fedora hat. He smiled when she rushed into his arms, hugging him tightly. "What took you so long?"_

" _I've been….busy."_

" _I've been waiting."_

" _I know." He whispered, letting go of her. "I'm sorry…"_

" _Well, no need to be sorry, you're here now." She smiled, feeling the warmth building in her gut._

" _Only for a moment…." The way he shifted his eyes to the floor made her heart skip a beat._

" _Why?"_

" _I had to come to see you….at least once more…" The rain had stopped and he opened the door, letting the cold breeze flow into the room._

_She shivered as the cold draft left goosebumps on her arms. "Once more?" She cocked her head as she watched him lean against the doorframe._

_He nodded solemnly. "I had to see this place…see you again…."_

" _What the bloody hell are you going on about?"_

_He didn't answer her, instead, he made his way into the front lawn, taking a deep, steady breath._

_She followed him, shutting the door behind her, leaving them both in darkness. "Draco?"_

_His eyes looked across the darkened yard. "I'm leaving….Hermione."_

_She was confused. "Where are you going?"_

_His gaze shifted back to hers and he unwrapped the scarf from around his neck. "Far enough away that you won't get hurt."_

_She suddenly felt very angry. "I'm **not** scared."_

_He kissed her forehead before wrapping the green scarf around her shoulders. "No, but I am…" He rubbed her cheek with the backside of his finger. "I can't lose you."_

" _You won't." She insisted, looking into his silver eyes._

" _I just can't take that chance." He replied, stroking her hair and giving her the saddest smile she'd ever seen come from him._

" _Draco…"_

_He let go of her, taking a few step backward before retreating into the darkness._

" _Stop! Come back!" She screamed following him._

" _Goodbye Hermione…" his voice faded as he moved farther away from her. "…you."_

" _Wait! Draco, don't leave! Wait!" She called out, her hand reaching for his. But just when their hands made contact he shattered into a million tiny pieces and scattered into the wind, leaving her alone in the darkness with nothing but his scarf around her neck._

She bolted upright, her chest heavy and her eyes brimming with tears.

What in Godric's name was  _that_?

Never before had she had such a vivid dream, and she couldn't make heads or tails of it. Why was she so sad, and more importantly, what the hell did it mean?

She chalked it up to her over active imagination and tried to go back to sleep. There was no way that dreams pertained to real life. She wasn't in some house and Draco wasn't leaving, and even if he did it wouldn’t bother her at all. She didn’t have any attachments or feelings, not for Malfoy. No. She would never feel like that for Malfoy. Or that's what she told herself as she tried to ignore the lingering effects of the dream: the cold on her skin and the loneliness his absence left in her bones.

* * *

 

Blaise awoke to the all too familiar sound of sheets rustling and quiet groans. He rolled over and tried to ignore the sounds coming from his dorm mate. Normally he'd fall right back asleep, but tonight was different. Because tonight, he didn't just groan and toss about on the bed. No. Tonight, Draco was talking in his sleep.

"Please….father, Don't make me do it," The eighteen year old's voice shook. Blaise got up slowly. Should he wake his friend up or not? "I'm sorry….I'm so sorry….I have to."

He wondered who he was talking to, then immediately thought better of it. There were some things he didn't want to know. He already knew that Draco had killed people. He didn't want to know the gory details. He swung his legs over the side of the bed letting his feet hit the cold floor.

He could hear Draco shift again, his voice becoming more panicked. "Oh gods, please….forgive me."

"Draco?" Whispered Blaise, making his way to his friend's bed. "Wake up mate."

Draco made no indication of doing so. He fisted the blanket in his hand and muttered something incoherent. Theo roused in the next bed, sitting up and giving Blaise a questioning look. “What-.”

Baise put a finger to his lips and shushed him. Draco was muttering again, so he leaned over him, lowering his head near the pale boys mouth. What he heard shocked him.

"I'm sorry….Hermione…please…don't hate me…."

Was he dreaming about Granger? Man, he must be getting way too attached to the girl. What the hell was wrong with him?

"No…I can't…Stop Father! Stop…please! "He reached out to shake his shoulder but before he could make contact Draco sprang up, his hands wrapping around Blaise's throat. "Stop!" He cried though his eyes were still closed.

Blaise grabbed the hands enclosing his throat and tried yanking them off, but his friend was insanely strong. He couldn't breathe. Theo sprang up and helped Blaise pry the hands from his neck. "Wake up man! Wake up!" He yelled, grabbing Draco's shoulders and shaking them violently.

They both watched as the boy's eyes opened and his hands withdrew, a look of total horror on his pale and sweaty face. "Blaise? Theo?"

Blaise backed away from him, rubbing the sore spot on his throat. "What the flying fuck was that?"

"I'm…I'm sorry, Blaise. I was having a nightmare." He said, running his hand over his face. "I didn't mean to…"

"You're scaring me, mate," Blaise replied. "What the bloody hell is going on with you?"

"Nothing….I just…I have nightmares…sometimes they're worse than others…" Draco looked up at him. "It's not like I can control them….I can't stop them…"

"So,” Theo piped up, “Is that the reason why you drink all the time?"

He shifted his gaze away from his observant friend. "Among other things."

Blaise sighed. He’d never say anything about Granger while Theo was awake. "Maybe you should, I dunno, see someone?"

"Why? So they can tell me I'm mental and give me some potions, make me talk to some bloody shrink? I'd rather swallow pixie powder."

Theo sighed and made his way to the bathroom.

"Maybe if you see Madam Pomfrey, you could get some sleeping draught and get some good sleep, and not try to choke the life out of your best friend."

"…..I'm sorry."

"Stop!" Blaise snapped. "Just stop saying your sorry. It's all I've heard out of you for the last half an hour."

He looked over at him, confusion crossing his face. "What are you going on about?"

"You were talking in your sleep mate."

"What did I say?" He asked with interest.

"You muttered  _I'm sorry_ a lot. It sounded like you were talking to your old man…and then you,” He glanced at the bathroom dorm before continuing, “you said Granger's name…" Draco’s face paled further if that was even remotely possible. "You don't have to be so guarded with me. You can tell me what you saw if you want…."

He shuddered. "I'd rather not."

"You sure?" He asked. "I mean, it was just a dream, like you said…so if you're concerned about Granger-"

"I'm  _not_ concerned about her."

"Alright then, if you say so."

"I do. So let's just get back to sleep…."

"Fine, Have it your way then. Let's just shove the issue aside and never talk of it again. That's  _really_  healthy."

Draco was ignoring him now. All he could hear was his quiet breathing. It kind of pissed him off, but if he knew  _anything_  about him, it was that if Draco didn't want to talk about something, it wasn't going to be talked about. Period.

Blaise would just have to be patient and wait until he wanted to talk about anything regarding his "feelings" or "Granger."

By the look of it, he'd be waiting awhile.

* * *

 

**Wednesday, September 9, 1998**

Hermione hadn't talked to Malfoy since she'd had that strange dream.  _Talked_ being the key word. It wasn't like she'd been avoiding him. In fact, she'd tried to initiate a conversation with him yesterday, but he hadn't really responded to her at first. He'd said he was busy and hurried out of the room.

She had no idea if he had been avoiding her. She would assume he wasn't. taking their quick snog in the lavatory yesterday into consideration. But it seemed like he was kind of keeping her at arms length.

Then again, wasn't that the whole bloody point? She was so full of contradictions lately. Where the hell was her head?

She didn't have time to ponder this because that's when she saw him. It was after Potions class in the courtyard. He was talking to Zabini and Nott and the sun was shining and hit his body at just the right angle that it seemed like his face was glowing. She stopped walking, stuck in her thoughts of how nice it would feel to thread her fingers through his hair.

Then he spotted her and shifted his posture. They'd locked eyes for a second but quickly turned their attention elsewhere. They knew how to play this little game by now. She hurried inside, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.

Five minutes later.

Her pocket was burning.

* * *

 

**Thursday** **, September 10, 1998**

Draco watched her as she took notes in Ancient Runes, her small fingers gripping her feather quill delicately. Her eyes focused on Professor Babbling's face then back at her notebook. She had no idea his eyes were focused on her. She looked so comfortable. It was as if this was where she belonged, in a classroom, learning. Perhaps it was. She was the smartest witch of their year after all.

He rested his chin in his hand. He really should talk to her more. All they'd been doing was shagging, and as awesome as that was, he kind of wanted to know what she was thinking. And maybe he wanted to tell her about his father, about his nightmares, and about how often she showed up in them. But how the hell was he supposed to bring something like that up? And even if he did, how would she react?

He heard her sigh and his worries were lost for a moment. He couldn't help but smile a bit. He loved when those lips sighed. Though he liked it better when it was caused by him licking her pretty little-

_Whoa. Stop right there._ Now was  _not_  the time to be thinking such things _._ He didn't need to be growing a tent in his pants in the middle of class. Well as long as she didn't turn those earnest eyes his way he'd be fine.

As if she read his thoughts, her head turned, her eyes finding his. She smiled and gave him a small wink before returning her attention to her notes. Even though she now knew he was watching her, she fought the urge to flirt and didn't look back the rest of class.

Draco didn't think it was very amusing. She thought she'd made a clean escape out the back door, but she was wrong. He'd captured her in the hall and they'd made a quick pit stop in his dorm room before the next class.

* * *

 

After a brief encounter with Draco, Hermione talked to Ron for an hour without crying or being angry with him. He had apologized,  _repeatedly_ , for the party, for Gabrielle, and what he'd said about her and Malfoy, for all he knew he was wrong. It was like he was really trying this time. Maybe he did mean it. After all, he had tracked her down in the hallway the other day. And now, she felt like she was talking to the old Ron, and it made her a little happier. She liked feeling as if she had her old friend back, that none of that ever happened, even if it was only for a little bit.

They met up with everyone in the Common room later to play cards. Luna had somehow won most of the games much to Seamus and Ron's dismay. She spent a half an hour listening to them hound Luna about how she'd won so many times. It was quite pointless because she just kept shrugging and insisting it was luck.

Hermione had laughed a lot tonight. It felt good to laugh with her friends…it'd been so long since she had this much fun with them. She felt like maybe everything would work out after all….

Then Harry got an owl from Kingsley.

He wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts after Christmas.

* * *

 

**Friday, September 11, 1998**

Lucius Malfoy sat at his oversized desk, his black tipped quill scribbling away at the brown parchment in front of him. He'd just received word from an associate that step one of their plan was in progress. It was just a matter of time before he got to play his own part. But unfortunately, he'd have to wait until the Christmas holiday to complete the rest.

He sealed the letter when he was finished, the letters D.M. stretched out elegantly across the front. He looked at it for a moment before laying down. He would send it in the morning. That would suffice.

He took out another paper and flipped open his pocket watch, smirking as he caught a look at his reflection in its golden casting. Finally, the defined face he'd been accustomed to was back. Months of war and dark cells of Azkaban had done horrendous things to his features, but he had spent the week nursing his looks back to health.

He saw a pair of blue eyes peering at him from the corner of his eye. He sighed and flipped the watch closer, giving his full attention to his wife. "Did you need something dear?"

"No, I was just wondering what you wanted for dinner?" She replied, sweeping a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"You're cooking now?" He asked in surprise and somewhat, disgust.

"No." she replied quickly. "I was going to tell Greel to fix something." She stared at him for a moment, her lips pursed and her hands clasped together in front of her. She wanted to say something else. He could tell.

"You didn't come here to discuss dinner, Narcissa. So please, stop wasting both of our time, and get to the point of this visit."

"Have you talked to Draco since you've been back?" Her voice remained steady but her eyes showed how concerned she was.

"Of course, I have. He's my son." He was already regretting allowing her to speak. "It's my duty as his father to make sure he hasn't gotten soft while I was away." He turned back to the paper under his hand and jotted a few more words down.

"You're not planning anything, are you, Lucius?" She asked quietly. "You've only just returned from prison, and with the Dark Lord gone we can start over, lay low-"

"Malfoy's never lie low." He hissed, rising out of his chair and slamming his hands on the oak desktop. "I've cowered in the shadows long enough Narcissa."

Her eyes widened at his outburst but she continued, "Please, Lucius, please. I beg you. Don't do anything rash."

"It's amusing," He smirked. "That you think you have  _any_ sway in what I do." He rushed around the desk quickly, causing his wife to take a hurried step back, her bangs falling into her face. "But, I assure you, my dear, I have no intentions of letting  _all_ the things I worked for before  _he_ came back go to waste." He swept his wife's stray locks back in place behind her ear. "I  _won't_ allow it."

She stared up at him. "But…"

"I almost had the ministry in the  _palm of my hand_ five years ago." He interrupted, cutting her off. "I had  _influence_. I had  _a plan_. Of course, The Dark Lord interrupted it, but now…well, I am starting over.

"Lucius that was before, everything is different now. We came out the other side, it's over."

"It is  _not_ over!" He yelled, coming dangerously close to knocking the books off his desk with the back of his hand. "It will  _never_ be over until we have those  _filthy_ mudbloods and despicable blood _traitors_ bowing down to us! I thought you understood these things!"

"I do, but, I made my choices. It's a different world now Lucius. It's changing."

"No! It isn't." He took a breath and ran his hand over the letter he'd received this morning. "I thought for a moment that maybe things were over, that the wizarding world _had_ changed too much, but I was wrong." His eyes shot back up to meet hers. " _We_ were wrong." He slid a cold finger down her slightly rosy cheek. "There are those still willing to stand up for our beliefs, those with great strength and great skill in the Dark Arts. We can still accomplish our goals." He turned from her and strode across the room to the minibar, where he poured himself a glass of Firewhiskey. "Of course, it will take a while." He continued, taking a swig. "We have to give them fresh faces, have them work their way to the top."

"Fresh faces?"

"Yes, young wizards and witches that will infiltrate the ministry. We'll be pulling the strings of course, and it  _will_ be difficult, but we will get there. We will overtake the ministry and make them submit to us."

Narcissa took a shaky breath and tried to collect her thoughts. Her husband was acting like his old self and there was no way Lucius would act this way unless he thought there was even the  _slightest_ chance that he could win. That meant that someone else was working behind the scenes. Someone powerful. "Who…" She spoke quietly. "Who have you been talking to Lucius?"

"Someone  _worthy_ of my loyalty."

 

**_Note: This chapter has been revised as of 3/28/16_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reason’s for dream sequences in this fic: I do them for two reasons. They are either memories or dreams stemming from unresolved feelings or thoughts about certain subjects.


	13. Obstacles and Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While situations at Hogwarts are heating up, something sinister is underfoot in the outside world.

 

 

**Saturday, September 12, 1998**

**Muggle London**

The mist of twilight still blanketed the rooftops of Primrose Terrace when the Head of the Auror office, Lee Scott, arrived at the scene. Normally they wouldn't get involved in muggle attacks or homicide, but when the victims were related to students at Hogwarts, it was protocol to check things out.

Lee used a disillusion charm and entered the house through the back door, careful not to disturb anything inside. The house reeked of blood and death. Something he was accustomed to as of late. The living room, where the first body was found, had already been taped off and tagged. Blood splatters covered the couch and pooled around the floor where the blonde haired victim, Helena Johnson , lay, her throat ripped out and eyes opened wide. Police were scattered around doing their jobs while Lee, unbeknownst to them, looked on.

He noticed that the woman seemed to have claw marks on her forearms and hands. That wasn't a good sign. This was beginning to look more like his line of work.

"How can this be?" An officer crouched down next to the body asked. "These are bite marks."

Her partner shrugged."We'll know more when the coroner gets here."

"We don't need that guy to tell us what happened here." Came a voice from the staircase. "This was an animal attack." The other officers remained silent as their lead investigator shook his head. "The girl was torn to shreds."

Lee listened no more as he hurried up the staircase, gently brushing past the man coming down it. Those words were ones he had hoped not to hear and as he came to the little girls room his heart fell. This was no mere case of an animal attack. You could hardly call what was left of her, remains.

He'd seen this before. Multiple times in the last few years.

Kingsley wouldn't be happy.

Angelina Johnson's mum and sister had been killed by a werewolf.

* * *

 

**September 12, 1998**

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

The letter arrived shortly after lunch. He was sitting in the Slytherin Common Room with Blaise and Theo when the eagle owl swooped in and dropped the folded golden parchment into his lap.

Blaise raised a curious brow as Draco shoved the letter into his robes quickly. Draco caught the knowing look in his eyes and sighed. "What?"

"I didn't say anything."

Theo, being too concerned with flirting with the girl behind them to notice the letter earlier, tilted his head and queried. "What did I miss?"

" _Nothing_!" Draco snapped, rising from his seat and practically storming out of the room.

Theo looked at Blaise in confusion. "What did I say?"

Blaise shrugged, trying not to alarm Theo. He assumed the letter was from Lucius though he wouldn't be certain until he talked to Draco. He didn't want to draw any more attention to Draco's already odd behavior.

Draco slammed his fist into the wall, the dull aching bringing him back to his senses. His father had impeccable timing. Not only had he ruined his day, but after reading the contents of the letter, he'd decided that he'd ruined his whole sodding life as well. He wished he could be as calm and level headed as he'd been before. He'd had no problem hiding his emotions, but now it seemed like his anger always got the best of him, and it was all his bloody fathers fault.

More than an hour had passed before Blaise could make his way to their room. He'd had to get away from Theo without spilling anything, and Pansy had cornered him in a hallway and grilled him about Draco's whereabouts. That hadn't turned out well. He'd just given her a lame excuse and promised that he'd get Draco to talk to her later.

Not likely, but the lie had worked.

When he'd finally reached their room, he opened the door apprehensively, hoping that he wouldn't find his friend passed out or suffering from alcohol poisoning. What he got wasn't quite there yet, but it wasn't far off. He was already drunk but was still alert as he sat against the far wall.

"It was from him wasn't it?" Blaise said as he made his way to Draco's side.

He looked up, his eyes glassy, and in a sarcastic tone replied, "What gave it away?"

"No need to get snarky." He retorted, sitting down next to him. "So...what did he say this time?"

"Don't want to talk about it." He sighed and took another drink.

"I don't think you should do this."

"Do what?"

"You know what."

"Listen, mate, I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it. Really, I do, but it's time for you to sod off alright? I don't need you tellin me what to do." Another drink and a dirty look passed between them.

"The bottle's almost gone," Blaise said, eyeing the whiskey in his hand. "You really should stop-"

"Fuck off." Draco groaned, getting up and going to the bathroom. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"Believe what you want!" He yelled. "I don't-oh shit..."

Moments later the sound of him retching his guts out made Blaise shake his head. He walked into the bathroom and glared at him as he sat on the floor. This was getting to be too much. He didn't know what Lucius was up to, but he knew whatever it was, he was going to drag his son down with him. Obviously, Draco didn't want to be a part of whatever it was. But Blaise knew he wasn't in any position to refuse his father. He was heading in a downward spiral and he feared he wouldn't be able to stop without some form of help. Help he couldn't give him. "How do you call her?"

"What?"

"How. Do. You. Call. Her?"

Draco lifted his right hand, which held the coin, and let it roll into his palm.

Blaise grabbed it out of his hand before he could blink.

"What are you doing!" He shouted trying to snatch the coin from Blaise's fingers.

"What you are too pussy to do." He replied, squeezing the coin and thinking about the words he wanted to appear on Grangers coin. "Calling Granger."

"Stop!"

"It's already done!" He yelled, tossing the coin back to his best mate after getting a reply. "You may not want my help, but I'm not going to let you continue acting like a bloody fool. Hopefully, she can talk some sense into you." He let out a sigh. "Now, someone has to make sure Theo stays busy so I’m leaving, and I suggest you try to keep from passing out before she gets here."

Draco let out a groan. "You're a bloody wanker Blaise."

"You're welcome." He replied before slipping out the door and leaving his friend in the darkness.

* * *

 

Hermione was exhausted. Between classes, studying, and her secret 'moments' with Malfoy, she'd been one busy witch. It didn't help that everyone was brooding over the fact that this was Harry's last semester at Hogwarts. She, for one, was happy for her friend. He'd wanted to be an Auror for the last couple years, and now, well he was getting his wish.

There was no reason why she should be saddened by his moving on in the world. She'd be doing the same soon enough. Everyone would. Harry would just be getting his foot out the door sooner than the rest of them.

Ginny was especially clingy lately. Of course, Hermione understood that what with Harry being her boyfriend and all, but it was sort of out of character for her red-haired best friend. Maybe she was just getting to used to Harry being beside her. Was she too comfortable perhaps? In either case, it was getting out of hand.

Hermione couldn't get within ten feet of Harry without having to nudge people out of the way. It was bloody ridiculous. You'd think he was dying or something. Oh wait, he'd done that already too.

Tonight was a little better. The only ones crowding around him in the Common Room was Patil, Ginny, Ron, Luna and Neville. Hermione didn't have a problem moving between him and Ron. "Harry, I have that paper I edited for you."

He grinned and took the sheets from her hand. "You're a life saver Hermione, really."

She waved it off. "Oh, it was nothing."

She took a seat in an armchair closest to Ginny. Ginny turned to her for a moment and gave her a large smile. "You know, you really are keeping him afloat 'Mione. I'm dreadful at Transfiguration."

"Well, I can't just let him fail. What kind of friend would I be?"

"A bad one?" She offered with a laugh, before returning her attention back to their own conversation.

Hermione was content to sit and listen to them talk about Harry's new job and of the new Quidditch team. Her attention wasn't held for long, though, She found herself thinking about what exactly it was she had been doing all week.

She had spent most of it doing homework; hers and revising some of Harry's. She tried to think of it as she was just helping him out. He was suddenly the busiest, and most popular wizard again. He needed someone to look out for him right? And it was what she'd always done after all; made sure Harry and Ron was taken care of. But she hadn't noticed before just how much she did it. Now it was quite obvious, as she sat there amongst her friends and peers, that she was probably part of the reason why they had even passed their classes.

She was thinking about why that bothered her when she felt the burning sensation against the outside of her thigh. She jumped a little at the sudden fire and looked around to see if anyone noticed her alarm. Only Luna's eyes briefly met hers as she stood twisted her body around to read the coin without catching the others notice.

_My dorm room, Now._

Her heart quickened.

_Does it have to be right this minute?_

A second later that she got a response.

_Please, it's urgent._

Malfoy was never one to say please. Something wasn't right.

She stood, without caring whether or not someone thought it strange, and paraded her way towards the door.

The fact that she got up did not go unnoticed, though. "Where are you going?" Ginny asked, causing the whole group to go silent and stare at her back.

Hermione stopped, not prepared to give an answer, and turned around, tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.

Luna stood quickly and locked arms with her. "Oh, did we forget to tell you?" she asked in her soft, elf-like voice. "I have a project she's helping me with."

At the mention of more homework, their interest was lost. "Have fun," Ginny called as they left the common room behind them.

If her heart wasn't beating out of control earlier, it was now. She couldn't' believe she hadn't been able to come up with an excuse to leave. Was she that worried about Malfoy for her brain to stop functioning? And Luna stepped in and saved her arse. But why? How had Luna known she needed help? "Luna…" she began.

"Come on," The girl chirped, pulling her further down the hallway. "You have somewhere to be."

She was shocked. Had she been so careless that one of her friends had found out? She grabbed the railing as they started down the stairs. "Luna," she started. "Do…do you know?"

Luna halted her descent down the stairs and looked up at Hermione's worried face. "That you are secretly seeing Draco Malfoy?" She whispered, her face as emotionless as it had been a moment before as Hermione held her breath. "No, of course not." Then she smirked and Hermione sighed in relief.

Oh how she wanted to hug her. "Why haven't you told anyone?"

They continued their way down the stairs. "I think you should make your own decisions, Hermione."

"Really?" Well that was a first. Most people wanted to tell her how much she was screwing up her relationships.

She nodded. "I see things, you know, that others don't. And what I see between you and Draco Malfoy….it's something good. For both of you."

That statement confused her. "There's nothing really going on between us…other than…well…you know…"

"So far." She replied before turning down the opposite hallway that lead to the Library.

Hermione just shook her head. Luna was kind of out there, but she was a good friend. She had definitely just proven that fact, and now that she thought about it, Ron had said Luna told him she'd been in the courtyard the day he’d confronted her. Perhaps Luna had known the whole time.

She took off down the hallway that led to the dungeons. That could wait. Draco couldn't.

* * *

 

**In the Library**

Blaise made himself scarce. As much as he wanted to help, he knew it was probably for the best that Draco talk to Granger about what was bothering him. Considering her gender, she was probably better with handling emotional shit than Blaise was.

He entered the library in hopes of finishing the homework that just seemed to keep piling up. He had just passed a group of studious Ravenclaws when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye.

 _Was that? No, it couldn't be_.

He backed up an aisle to get a better look. Yes. He definitely saw that right. Luna Lovegood was walking up and down the aisle on her hands, her long blonde hair trailing the ground behind her.

He stifled a laugh as he approached her. "Lovegood? What on earth are you doing?"

"Walking on my hands…" She replied, slowly inching forward.

"Yes," He said, "I can see that, but  _why?_ "

"Well…" She flipped her legs forward until they touched the ground, and stood, turning around to talk to him. "I always wondered how far I could go without falling over."

"So how far did you get?"

"Ten aisles so far." She replied with a slight smile.

"Impressive."

"Is it?"

Blaise nodded. "Quite."

Luna glanced at the books in his hands. "Did you come here to study?"

"Well, it was my intention," he said giving her a crooked smile. "Though that's not nearly as interesting as watching your gymnastic skills, I do admit."

"It's no skill, really. Anyone can walk on their hands." She returned. "It's all about how determined they are to do so."

"So you're determined?"

Her blue eyes sparkled as she walked past him. "In most aspects, yes."

He turned to follow her. "If you're so determined, what are you planning on doing after this?"

"After graduating you mean?"

He nodded.

She halted and looked back at him. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm just making conversation." He replied quickly. He was rather curious about her plans. Someone like Lovegood would definitely have something interesting mapped out.

She seemed like she was contemplating telling him when she finally sighed and leaned against the bookshelf. "I'm going to train to be a healer."

"A healer?" Well, that was not what he expected.

"Of course, that wasn't my first choice." She went on. "I originally wanted to travel the world in search of magical creatures and write a book about all my experiences."

Yes, that answer sounded _way_ more like Lovegood. "What changed your mind?"

Her eyes seemed to cloud over for a moment before returning to their original state. "The war."

Those two words impacted him. "You lost someone…"

"We all did." She said quietly. "But it only makes us cherish the people we care about, don't you think?"

"I do." He agreed, his thoughts drifting to Draco and Granger.

Her gaze drifted past him and she waved at someone behind him. "I have to go somewhere for a bit." She told him and then smiled. "But I'll be back later if you want to talk some more."

Blaise found himself smiling a bit. "I'd like that."

She waved goodbye and left him standing alone in the aisle. He decided he should get some "studying" done, and made his way to a table in the back, passing Luna and one of her friends on his way. He couldn't help but hear a part of their conversation in passing.

"I thought you were here with Hermione."

"I was, but she had to talk to McGonagall about something." Her voice never wavered as she spoke. "She'll be back in a bit, so I'm waiting for her."

 _Hermione huh?_  He thought he was the only one that knew about Draco's interest in the witch. How could he be so naive? Of course, someone from her side would figure things out eventually.

He gave a quick glance at the blonde as he sat down. If Lovegood knew, then maybe he didn't have to be alone in this.

He sighed and silently prayed that she would make good on her word to come back to talk to him.

It was humorous that he'd actually  _want_  to talk to Looney Lovegood, but after today, he'd found that talking to her was much more interesting than one would think. She had a goodness in her that most people didn't. He just hoped this world wouldn't ruin it.

* * *

 

Hermione knocked on the door, but there was no answer. "Malfoy?" She knocked again but when he didn't open the door, she decided to go ahead and go inside.

The room was dark, which wouldn't be odd, but considering all the times she was in this room, she knew Malfoy wasn't exactly a fan of darkness. Ironic as that statement may be. "Malfoy?" She lit the room with a spell.

She heard a groan coming from the bathroom and when she looked over she could see his legs sticking out of the doorway. Panic overtook her for a moment and she rushed over to him. "Are you alright?"

He sat up and sighed. "What are you doing here?"

" _You_  called  _me_ , remember?" She asked, suddenly taking in his state. His eyes were glassed over and his movements were sloppy as he tried to get up. "Draco, are you drunk?"

"No," he scoffed before lying back down. "Maybe."

She took a moment to scan the room. Sure enough, there was an empty bottle lying on the floor and another half empty one in his hand. "Come on." She sighed, pulling him into a sitting position.

"Don't bother." He tried swatting her hand away. "Just leave me here."

She frowned and grabbed him roughly. "Draco Malfoy. Get. Up. Now."

"You won't shut up an' leave 'less I go…."

"That's right."

He sighed. "Fine." He allowed her to help him to his feet, though they stumbled more than he probably would have if he'd been by himself, but they made it.

When he was safely on the bed, Hermione took the bottle of whiskey and poured it down the sink. "That ought to stop him for a bit." She smiled in satisfaction before returning to the room to see him already passed out on the bed.

"Draco, what has happened to turn you into this?" She whispered, running her hand through his disheveled hair.

He stirred but didn't wake.

She covered him with a blanket and sighed. "What in Godric's name is going on with you?" It was strange to see him like this. Sure she'd seen him drunk, but not like this. Never had she seen him so bloody gone. The only way he could have gotten this way is if he'd meant to do it. She knew it wasn't really any of her business, but a part of her was deeply concerned with his actions. His father was out of prison, so that could be a factor, but would he drink himself silly over that? It was quite possible. His guilt over his previous actions could be a factor as well. Whichever the case, it wasn't good for him. She needed to put a stop to it.

"Granger.." he mumbled, bringing her back to her surroundings.

She inched forward again. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" She asked, but the only response she got was the sound of his light snoring.

She gave up and took a seat by the fireplace. She wasn't going to leave until she knew he was okay.

**Later**

"Do you mind if I join you?"

Blaise looked up to see her big eyes looking down at him. He was surprised, but glad, she'd kept good on her word. This girl never ceased to amaze him. "I suppose so."

She smiled and took a seat across from him, her book splayed out in front of her. Blaise began shuffling through the pages of his own book.

After a few minutes of silence, Luna's crystal voice startled him. "Why did you return to Hogwarts?"

He looked up, stunned by the random question. "That's a rather hard one to answer."

"Why?"

He thought for a moment. "There were many factors as to why I returned."

"Was it because of Draco Malfoy?"

Blaise's mouth popped open in surprise. "What makes you think that he had anything to do with it?"

She shrugged. "You're his friend. Everyone needs someone to lean on in times of need."

 _Times of need?_ His eyes narrowed.  _She couldn't know anything about…._

"You could say Draco has a small part to play in my return, yes."

She nodded. "I thought so."

"You're a rather curious one."

"Curious am I?" She asked, resting her chin on one hand. "Yes, I am quite curious about many things, though I'd like to think I'm more observant than anything."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, I see things, you know, about people. What their intentions are, what they are feeling."

"Is that so?"

She nodded again.

 _Keep her talking._  "So, Luna, have you been observing me? Can you tell me what my intentions today are?"

She stared at him a moment before responding. "Well, you didn't really come here to study."

 _Good_. "Why do you think that?"

She looked down at his book. "You were staring at the same page for ten minutes, not to mention the fact that you kept looking at the clock and tapping your foot. Every few minutes you would scan the area. I'm not sure if you were looking for someone in particular or if you just wanted to be aware of who was in the room, though."

His mouth remained agape.  _Very observant indeed._ "Wow. I'm afraid to ask if you read minds."

"No, I was never good at Legilimency."

He chuckled. She so wasn't getting the joke.

"Who are you waiting for, Blaise?" She asked.

He looked at her hard. "I'm not waiting for anyone." Could she be on to him? Now would be the time to strike. "Who are  _you_  waiting for?"

"No one in particular." She replied softly. "I'm waiting on a sign."

"A sign? What kind of sign?"

She shrugged. "I'm not really sure, but I can't go back until it's safe."

"Safe?"

She shook her head and whispered, "It's a secret."

"I'm good at keeping secrets."

She shook her again and he sighed. "Well, I guess I should get back to the dorm. Draco's probably wondering where I am."

_Wait for it._

She placed a hand on his arm, halting him from getting up. "You can't go back now."

 _Checkmate._  "Why not?"

Her eyes pleaded with him. "You just can't."

He lowered his voice. "You know, don't you, Luna?"

"Know what?"

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "That Hermione Granger is in my dorm room right now."

He leaned back and watched her face grow a bit red as she let go of his arm. "I thought you knew, but I wasn't sure."

"How long have you known?" He asked in hushed tones.

She got closer to him so they wouldn't be heard. "A couple weeks now. I've been keeping an eye on Hermione lately. She's always the last one to let her feelings and needs known."

"Sounds like someone I know." He sighed.

"I think we should help them." She stated suddenly.

"I thought that's what we were doing? Covering for them."

She shook her head. "No, I mean we should help them along. Hermione's very stubborn."

"Yes, I remember." He smiled. "And Draco's not much better in that department."

"Perhaps they just need a little shove?"

He stared at her for a moment. "Are you sure you want to be helping them?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You were held prisoner in the Manor. I'd think you'd want your friend to be as far away from him as possible."

Her face never changed as she answered. "I was there, yes, but it wasn't Draco's doing. How could I blame him?"

"I guess that's true."

She ran her fingers through her hair. "Besides, I could tell, even then, that he was reluctant. His heart isn't as tainted as he thinks."

He felt the same way. "He's a complicated bloke." He said, then added. "But that's why I'm helping him. He needs something...or I'm afraid he'll fall into darkness again."

She looked like she understood exactly what he was talking about. "So do we have an agreement?"

"I believe we do, Ms. Lovegood." He smiled and extended his hand. "It's a pleasure doing business with you."

She grinned and shook it. "Likewise, Mr. Zabini."

* * *

 

Draco opened his eyes and groaned. So the letter hadn't been a dream? His father was planning something, and he was going to be getting a visitor though he couldn't imagine who it could be. What he did know, was that it hadn't been his imagination; he looked over and saw curly hair, and neither was Granger helping him.

She was still there, sitting in a chair next to him reading. “Why are you doing this?" He asked, rubbing his swollen eyes.

She looked up from her book. "Doing what?"

"Helping me."

"That's a stupid question. You need my help."

"No, I don't."

She rolled her eyes. "You were  _drunk_  in the middle of the bloody afternoon. If that's not a cry for help I don't know what is. "He didn't respond so she leaned forward. "What's going on, Draco?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, it looked like nothing when I got here."

"So I drink sometimes, so what?”

“I think you drinking enough to pass out at 3pm on a Saturday means it’s more than just _sometimes_.”

He glared at her. “And somehow it wasn’t _nearly_ enough.”

“Oh, I think you’ve had _plenty_.” She scoffed.

"Hah, you wouldn't say that if you knew..." He cut himself off. He'd almost let it slip. How could he be so bloody careless!

"Knew what?"

"Nothing." He said quickly, hoping she would drop it.

But of course, he knew she wouldn't.

"It _isn’t_ nothing." She came over and sat on the bed. "Come on, Draco. Tell me what's going on with you." She reached out to him. “Please.”

"I can't, Granger. Really." He said, still knowing that she probably wouldn't give up. "And even if I could, you couldn't help me. Not with this."

"I could try." She insisted. "And if it's about your father-"

"Don't!" he warned. "Just don't. I hate talking about him...he, he disgusts me."

"Maybe you'd feel better if you did." She said quietly. "Talk about him, I mean."

She just didn't get it. Nothing good would come out of him talking about his father. Nothing good would come from him disclosing pieces of his past. No good would come out of him telling her what his father planned to make him do. It just didn't need to be talked about. None of it did. "No. It's not worth it."

She leaned forward, her eyes full of compassion. "Why won't you let me help you?"

He couldn't help it. The way she was looking at him make his heartbeat quicken. He reached up and cradled her cheek with his right hand. "I don't want to hurt you..."

"You won't." She replied, bringing her hand up and placing it on top of his.

"You don't understand." He let his hand fall from her face but she kept holding onto it.

"You don't have to tell me what's going on." She said. "Just, promise me something."

"Yes?"

"Next time you feel like drowning yourself in a bottle of fire whiskey, call for me.  _I'll_  be your escape. Don't rely on alcohol to solve your problems." She noticed her hand was still in his and withdrew it. "Promise me that."

He smiled. "I promise."

* * *

 

**_Sunday, September 13, 1998_ **

Ron was sitting in the common room with Harry when he saw Hermione slip out of the door and out of sight for what seemed like the hundredth time this week.

"Harry, have you noticed that Hermione's been acting rather strange lately?"

Harry gave him a funny look before shrugging. "Not really."

Ron shifted in his seat as he looked at his best friend. "She's been sneaking off a lot.”

"She's probably just studying or something."

"No, I don't think that's it." He continued. He'd been noticing a lot of things about Hermoine's behavior. He'd seen her exiting a broom closet, she was hardly ever in the common room after dinner, she would disappear after class, and late at night, (when he'd been doing some sneaking around of his own) he'd seen her creeping up the hallway. "Harry, do you think she's seeing someone?"

"Who?"

His eyes narrowed in irritation. " _Hermione_."

Harry thought about it for a moment. "Well...she hasn't been around much, but to say she was seeing someone? I highly doubt it."

"But what on earth could she be doing?" He asked irritably.

"I don't know...but honestly, Ron. Why do you care what she's doing? You dumped her."

"I know that!" He snapped. "But...I still care about her and maybe...maybe I was wrong to do that to her."

"There's no maybe in that statement mate." Harry pointed out. "You fucked her over and you know it."

"Shut up...I know..." He stared down at his hands. "I just...I was just scared. I felt like I was falling behind her. She has always been in front of me, and I thought maybe there was something more, someone more..."

"More than Hermione?" Harry laughed. "You're a bloody prat sometimes, Ron, you know that?"

"I fucked up Harry! I know I fucked up. I know I'm bloody stupid when it comes to love and especially when it comes to Hermione...but I'm trying. I thought I was getting in over my head to fast and lately I've thought that maybe I wasn't. Maybe she’s always been the one for me. I can't believe I let her go. I still care about her and I want her back, but what if she's seeing someone? What do I do then?"

"You just have to try to get her back." He stated before getting up. "But don't come crying to me if she punches you in the face and leaves your tail hanging between your legs."

* * *

 

Pansy watched him from her seat next a library window, this month's edition of _Witch Weekly_ splayed out in front of her. She used it as a prop to keep an eye on him without being blatantly obvious. So far so good. She didn't look like a total stalker. Or at least, she hoped she didn't. (It couldn't be called stalking when it was your friend right?)

Right now he was sitting at a table, his brows furrowed together and his eyes glued to the book in front of him.

She'd tried to talk to him a few minutes ago, but he'd just brushed her off, rolled his eyes, and went back to reading.

He'd been blowing her off a lot lately and she was getting quite sick of it. What was going on with him?

He'd been acting rather strange the last few months. She would know. She'd been in his circle of friends since year one, and had been with him, on a physical level, since year four. Though she hadn't been in his bed for months now. That's what really started to raise her suspicions. They had never dated but whenever he was in a foul or randy mood he'd seek her out. So when he'd stopped coming onto her and ignoring her presence entirely, she began to worry.

It couldn't be another girl. She never saw him with any. Then again, she hadn't been seeing a lot of him at all. It was like he was avoiding her.

She sighed and flattened the magazine on her lap, openly starting at him, disregarding how stupid she might look. She just wanted him to look at her, to see her.

She missed him. Missed talking to him. Why couldn't he just give her a chance. Didn't he know she loved him? Didn't he know they would be a good match? She would do anything for him. She believed in him and supported him. She liked everything about him; his looks, his calm demeanor, and even the cold callous way he spoke. She thought it was insanely hot that he had been a death eater. It made him that much more alluring to her. After all, they came from the same roots. They were Slytherin's, came from old money, and their blood was pure. She could give him everything he wanted and wouldn't complain. They would be perfect for each other!

But he would never see it.

He'd never look.

She could confess her love for him at the top of her lungs and he wouldn't bat an eyelash.

She was invisible.

She shook her head and glared at him.

He was still looking at his book.

_Damn him!_

She noticed him look down into his lap and smirk, before shoving his hand into his pocket. She was wondering what was up with that when he suddenly rose from the table and hurried out of the room.

She got up quickly to follow him out. "Draco!" She called. "Wait up."

He slowed slightly but didn't respond to her words.

"Are you going to the Great Hall?" She asked cheerily. "Mind if I tag along? I'm famished."

"Sorry, Pansy, but I've got things to do." He said, his voice taking on a harsh tone. "I'm sure you don't need my assistance in finding food."

"Rude much?" She huffed, still keeping stride with him.

"I don't have the time to talk today."

"Today or any day. What has got you so busy lately?" She asked, trying to mask the hurt in her voice. "You hardly have time for your friends anymore, not to mention me."

"I'm not here to fool around, Pansy. I'm here to save face." He retorted gruffly, "So excuse me, I don't have time to play house with you."

She was speechless as she watched him just walk away, unaware of the pounding in her heart of the angry tears that wanted to spill from her eyes.

He had no idea what he was walking away from. She would do anything for him. She could make him happy. Determination burned through her veins. She'd make him see her.

She was worthy of him, she could prove it to him.

No one could love him as much as Pansy did.

No one.

* * *

 

**Monday, September 14, 1998**

It was after midnight when Ron spotted Hermione tip-toeing out of the Gryffindor Tower. He tried to follow her but he'd lost sight of her after she descended the stairs. Anger rose in his gut when he thought about what she might be sneaking off to do.

Jealousy was an ugly emotion and Ron was apparently prone to it.

Harry had been right.

He'd fucked up.

Now he'd just have to figure out a way to fix it before someone else stepped in and stole his girl.

* * *

 

**Tuesday, September 15, 1998**

Draco was losing his bloody mind.

After the night she'd come to help him, everything seemed to change. Every time he was near her his heart raced in his chest, and it didn't help when she teased him, shooting him hot looks that drove him insane. He couldn't wait to get her alone, to get her up against a wall and underneath him.

When he wasn't with her, he thought about her and when they were together, he drank in everything about her.

He couldn't figure out why this was happening. He'd never wanted to just be next to someone so bad in his life. Especially since the last two encounters he had with the brunette had ended without him getting laid. That in itself was strange. Their relationship was supposed to be purely sexual, so when he found himself not wanting to tear her clothes off the moment he saw her, and instead, wanted to have conversations with her, he started getting concerned.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to crave her presence. He was supposed to use her, not want to talk to her about his problems. She was doing something inside of him and he had no idea what to do about it.

Pansy wasn't making any progress.

She couldn't get any time alone with him at all. It was as if the world was against her being with him.

Even now, as they were sitting in class, he was doing his work. Everyone was busy with their own projects as well, but she'd never seen him work so hard on something.

She couldn't believe he was actually listening to the professor. He was always goofing off before, saying he could do this in his sleep.

She glanced back over at him and saw that his head was raised and his lips were moving. Maybe he wasn't working hard after all.

She was about to try to get his attention when she saw something that threw her off.

A wink.

Draco had winked at someone.

Her eyes shifted to the front of the room just in time to see Hermione Granger smirk in Draco's direction before turning around.

No way.

She rubbed her eyes in irritation.

She couldn't have seen that right.

Draco would never flirt with a mudblood. Especially, Hermione Granger.

He was probably just making fun of her.

Yes, that was it.

There was nothing to worry about.

They had always bantered in the past. It was just what they did, but even as she thought it may just be a joke, there was an unsettling feeling in her stomach. She couldn't help but remember the kiss during the Celebration Party. He hadn't seemed disgusted by it at all. Then when she'd asked him about it, he'd only gotten angry and stopped talking to her.

Something was definitely going on.

And she was going to find out what it was.

* * *

 

**Wednesday, September 16, 1998**

Hermione couldn't stop herself. She was addicted to him.

No matter how hard she tried to stay away, he drew her back in.

If it wasn't for the flirting, then she might have a better chance. But unfortunately for her, he excelled in foreplay and she fully enjoyed the bantering. He brought out a side of her she didn't know existed. A flirty, sexy side that she now embraced. She knew exactly what to say or do to drive him crazy and get him back for making her quiver in excitement. This took their minds off things they didn't want to talk about. Like his father, and her parents.

She enjoyed this physical relationship, though it seemed they'd been spending a bit more time talking, and less time shagging lately. They’d done some studying and talked about their favorite artists and authors. Despite being a pureblood wizard, he seemed to enjoy Monet. It didn't bother her like she thought it would. She liked spending time with him. Any form of time. It was crazy to think it, but she was beginning to wonder if she actually saw him as a friend now. She certainly cared enough about him that she didn't want him suffering anymore. It was also strange to think she woke up every day and he was the first thing she thought about, instead of Ron now. It was only natural, she supposed. She'd spent so much time with him. It couldn't be helped.

Luna had been great the last couple of days as well.

It helped to have someone who knew.

She hadn't been able to ask Luna much regarding it, but she knew it was only a matter of time before she'd want to talk about her this... relationship. Luna knowing made her feel at ease. At least, she had someone out there supporting her.

* * *

 

**Thursday, September 17, 1998**

Blaise knew what was going on. He didn't miss the fact that his best friend had disappeared from the room a few minutes ago. He also didn't miss the fact that Pansy was now scouring the room, searching for him.

He headed her direction, knowing all to well that she would try to find Draco. She'd been persistent recently and that didn't' bode well. If anyone would find out about Draco's secret, it would be her.

After all. The poor girl was in love with him.

At least...she was in love with the idea of the old him.

She spotted him and called out. "Blaise!"

He stopped in front of her. "What's going on, Panse?"

"Have you seen Draco?"

"Can't say that I have." He said with a shrug.

She placed a hand on her hip and frowned. "Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not-"

"I know you're covering for him."

"You're paranoid.'

"I'm not paranoid!" she hissed. "Where is he? I have to talk to him."

"I don't know."

"Fine." She relented and hurried out of the room.

It took a moment before it clicked.

She didn't need Blaise to tell her where Draco was.

He ran out of the room, praying to Salazar that he'd find her before she found them.

* * *

 

The day started out as good as any other. The sun was shining, and it seemed like everyone was in a great mood. Draco and Hermione included. They had just finished their projects in Potions class and chose to celebrate their triumph with a little fun back in his dorm room. Draco had made sure Blaise was still with Theo in the common and thought nothing of locking the door. That would prove to be their downfall.

They were in the middle of their tryst when they heard a shuffling at the door. He stopped mid-thrust, their eyes shooting over towards the door as they both became as still as statues. They could hear voices coming closer and watched in horror as the door handle turned and heard Pansy's irate voice drifting in from the other side of it. "Blaise, seriously I can do what I want! Draco, are you in there? Honestly, I'm fed up with you ignoring me all the bloody ti-" Her mouth dropped open when she flung the door open and caught sight of Draco in bed, still on top of Hermione. All three of them remaining still and blinking at each other. "What the fuck is going on in here?"

"Pansy!" Blaise shouted crashing through the door behind her.

"You've got to be bloody joking. You've been screwing the mudblood?" She screeched covering her mouth with her hand. "Un-fucking-believable!"

Draco seemed to be coming back to his senses and started to move.

Blaise blocked her as she tried to back out. "Draco, I'm sorry! I tried to stop her!"

"I cannot fucking believe this!" She said again, spinning around and yelling at Blaise. "Blaise, move!"

Draco finally found his voice as he fumbled to get up. "Don't let her leave!"

Hermione, still unfathomably shocked at both Pansy and Blaise's presence, grabbed the covers and pulled them around her while Draco pulled up his pants and grabbed his wand. "Petrificus Totalus!" He exclaimed, pointing it at Pansy's retreating back. Her body froze under the spell and she stayed rooted to the spot.

Hermione quickly dressed underneath the covers as Draco made his way towards Pansy and Blaise, her stomach lurching with each passing second.

"Couldn't mind your own damn business could you?" He spat at her petrified form.

"Sorry mate. I really did try."

Hermione realized then that Blaise must have known all along.

"It's not your fault. I should have known she'd be sneaking around sooner or later." He sighed. "She's been coming onto me quite a lot recently. It's my fault for allowing her diluted behavior. I should have nipped it in the bud." He shook his head and lifted his wand.

Hermione noticed this and got up from the bed. "Draco? What are you doing?"

He was quick with his answer. "I'm going to obliviate her, of course."

"You can't do that!" she suddenly cried, catching both boys off guard.

"And why the hell not?" Draco asked, stepping away from Pansy and walking in Hermione's direction. "She'll tell  _everyone_ , don't you get that?"

She did get it. She just didn't know if she could watch someone else be obliviated in front of her. "Yes, but I just can't let you obliviate her…."

"You can't be serious," Blaise interjected.

Draco raised a hand to silence him.

"She's angry, Granger. Just fucking look at her. If I didn't keep her here she would have run out that door shouting our secret down the bloody hall. Do you understand that? She'll do whatever she can to get back at me. She's a vengeful person and will drag you into the dirt along with me…." He kept his gaze steady on hers. "Or do you  _want_ everyone to know about us?"

"No…"

"Then let me do what I'm good at, alright?" He flicked his wand at Pansy but at the last second Hermione grabbed his arm.

"Just let her go, Malfoy." He remained still and silent, but his glare fortified his displeasure. " _Please_."

He sighed and turned to his friend. "Blaise, just get her the hell out of here."

Blaise nodded and grabbed Pansy's arm, dragging her out of the room.

Draco whirled around to face Hermione, his jaw set and eyes ablaze. "Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

"I stopped a girl from losing her memory." She stated calmly though her nerves were shaken. "It's dangerous to be using that spell all the time, especially for long-term memories. We don't know how much damage it really can cause the person affected-"

"I don't give a shit about that!" He retorted. "Her leaving with this knowledge is more dangerous than fucking memory loss."

"But-"

"No! No, but's Hermione." His eyes softened but his body remained rigid, telling her that he was still very angry. "I hope you're prepared because by this time tomorrow everyone in Hogwarts is going to know about us."

She felt sick again. "Everyone…"

"Yes. Everyone. Including Potter and lil Ronnikins."

"They'll understand…." Even as she said it, the words had no meaning.

"Yes, I'm sure they'll just  _love_ the fact that you've been fucking me behind their back for a month." He said storming past her.

She followed him across the room, her temper rising right along with his. "Why are you being such an arse about this?"

"Why?" He exclaimed, exasperated. "Because it's going to ruin  _everything_! Don't you get that?" He asked, his hands making their way to grasp her shoulders. She didn't pull away from the contact. "What we have.It's going to end! Just like that! No more sneaking around or flirting in class. We won't even be able to speak to each other. You're going to be labeled a traitor by your friends, and I'm going to be shunned by mine."

Her eyes narrowed as she looked up at him. "So that's what you're worried about? You being shunned?"

He let her go and shook his head. "No, that's not-"

"It is. You want to keep your reputation..."

"Haven't you been listening?" he grunted. "I don't want to lose-"

She didn't wait to hear the rest. "Just stop, Malfoy! You don't have to explain anything." She turned away from him and began gathering the rest of her things off the floor. "We should have known this wouldn't last. I'm glad this happened."

"You're  _glad_?"

"Yes, I'm  _glad_." She punctuated the word with an angry snatch of her socks from the rug. "I'm glad it happened before things got out of control; before we got too serious."

This conversation wasn't going the way he planned. "What if I don't care if we went out of control? What if I  _wanted_  it to get serious?"

She scrunched up her brows and laughed mockingly. "Yes, and I'm the Queen of England."

"Who?"

"Just forget it." she sighed. "You're not getting the point." She brushed past him and headed for the door.

"I'll tell you what I am getting. I'm getting that you'd rather let everything between us end, than oblivate that stupid girl."

"That's not fair, Draco." she said, her hand resting on the doorknob and turning around.

"No, what's not  _fair_  is you running out on me." He retorted, bitterly.

Her hand fell from the knob. "That's not what I'm doing."

"Isn't it?" He asked, angry again. "Someone finds out and you don't let me stop them from telling. Then you run away from the problem."

"I just need a break from you!" She finally yelled.

"You need a break from  _me_?"

"Yes..." she started then shook her head. "No...not from  _you_ , from  _this_. We got too carried away, and it's not like we're together, we are just fucking."

"That's exactly why we shouldn't end it." He tried to pursue her. "Fuck them...I know I said I cared about what they say, but not enough to end this _thing_ we have going. I don't _want_ you to leave..."

"Why do you want me to stay so bad? I'm nothing to you...and you're nothing to me."

She didn't miss the hurt expression on his face but she still turned away from him.

"Wait, you can't just leave!" He hated how his voice cracked in sudden desperation.

"This is pointless, Malfoy. Pansy knows now." He could tell she was trying hard not to cry. "So...this has to end...We can't keep seeing each other."

"You don't mean that."

"I'm sorry, Malfoy." She said, her back rigid as she made her way to the door. “But I do.”

"Hermione, wait!" He called, but she was gone and he felt like a piece of himself had left with her.

* * *

 

Pansy was livid, and Blaise's presence wasn't helping.

They walked in silence as he escorted her down the halls and to her dorm. When they were almost there she heard him sigh. "I'm sorry, Pansy."

"You knew." She accused, hot, angry tears streaming down her face. "You knew he was defiling himself with that mudblood."

"He's free to make his own decisions."

"He's ruining himself!" She spat. "He's going against everything he stands for, everything that he believes in!"

"Maybe his beliefs have changed."

"How could you let him do this, Blaise? You know the consequences."

He shook his head and she grew more furious.

"He's a bloody fool," She hissed. "And you are too for helping him."

He looked at her with an understanding glow in his eyes. "Pansy, I'm sorry he hurt you."

"Hurt me?" She laughed cruelly. "I'm not hurt, I'm furious." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "But not as angry as his father will be when he hears of this."

"He's not going to find out."

"How do you know?" She asked. "I could tell the whole bloody school about this in the morning. I'm sure someone will let it slip."

Blaise's eyes became slits as he stepped toward her. "You're not going to tell anyone."

"What makes you so damn sure?"

"You love him too much to hurt him."

Her heart thumped in her chest. "Fuck off."

He looked at her a moment before sighing. "Just sleep on it." He said, turning to leave. "I'll come back tomorrow and we can talk about it."

"Like hell!" She called after him, slamming the door behind her.

Fuck him! Fuck Draco! And fuck that damn mudblood for getting in her way!

How dare he? How dare he blow  _her_  off for that fucking mudblood bitch! Why would he choose to shag bloody  _Granger_  over her? Her blood was pure! She was everything he would need. She'd do anything for him. Screwing the mudblood...It went against their very nature.

It had to be the Gryffindor's doing. She must have done something to him. Blackmailed him or something. Otherwise, Draco would have never stooped so low.

Unless...he liked her all along. She hated to think that, but she couldn't deny the fact that she'd been wondering about them for awhile now. She just never thought her assumptions would have been right. He was ruining everything!

She slumped down at her desk, burying her head in her arms. She ran through the past two months in her head. They hadn't had sex during that time at all. In fact, all the times she was with Draco, he never even listened to her. He didn't look at her. And anytime the filthy mudblood had been around, he had been looking at her. The kiss between them at the party was real too. He'd disappeared after that. To go after her no doubt. Her suspicions had been right all along. He'd been having a secret affair behind his friends back this whole time!

He'd betrayed them, betrayed his blood. And Granger helped him do it.

Blaise was right about one thing, though. She loved Draco. She wouldn't want to hurt him. But her hatred for Granger and what they'd done overrode the love she had in her heart.

She sat up and grabbed a piece of paper, furiously scribbling her pen across it. They would regret what they did. That was for damn sure.

 

**Chapter revised**

 


	14. Birthday Wishes and Fading Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An emotional discovery causes Hermione to return to the one who comforts her the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor name change for the Auror from the last chapter. I had him named Brian, but it was supposed to be Lee. So it has been fixed.

**Thursday** **, September 17, 1998**

**Nightfall**

Kingsley sat behind his desk, buried under a pile of files. Reorganizing and rebuilding the Ministry of Magic had proven itself to be a much more difficult task than he'd originally thought. They'd had to go through every single person associated with the Ministry and interrogate them. That had been a daunting task in itself. It had left even the most skilled wizards exhausted and testy.

In the end, they had sorted out most of the kinks and had removed many wizards and witches from their titles. Now they were in the middle of revamping the whole system. They had decided to add more temporary departments to the Auror Office to keep the Ministry running smoothly. The only problem now was the amount of people he had left to fill the positions.

That's where Harry Potter and some of the younger wizards came in.

Kingsley had hoped that they could wait until many of the students, including Harry, had time to recuperate after the war, but it seemed there was little time to spare. The last thing they needed was chaos in their legal systems.

He sighed.

Things were definitely not running as smoothly as he'd wanted. There were dozens of death eaters in hiding, as well as many small criminal organizations taking advantage of the lack of authority in the ministry. On top of all that, there had been a string of seemingly random attacks on muggle-born families the last couple weeks. Most of which were related to wizards he knew. The Wizarding World was quickly going to the shitter, yet here he was, filing away mountains of paperwork.

A knock on the door caused him to lose concentration but he called out, "Come in."

A man of average height, with light brown hair, rectangular glasses, and not looking a day over 35, stepped inside the room slowly. "You said you wanted me to find you the moment I found out anything on the whereabouts of the Granger's, Minister?"

Kingsley looked up from his desk, his interest piqued. "Yes, I did."

The man came further into the room and handed the minister a file. Kingsley snatched the folder from his hands and quickly read through the pages. His eyes stopped on the third page, a heavy sigh escaping his lips, "Is this information accurate?"

"As far as I know, sir." He nodded. "I’ve spent the last two weeks checking out the place and making sure I gathered all the facts." The Minister gave the file another look before closing it and leaning back in his chair. "You seem troubled by the information I gathered, sir."

"It's not just that." Kingsley sighed."You've been in Australia for a while, Nathan." He stood from the desk and wandered freely around the room. "Much has happened since you left."

"Nothing too serious, I hope," Nathan said, his tone darkening slightly. "Have any of the Death Eaters-"

"No, Azkaban is still well protected," He replied, his frown deepening on his face. "Though the ones still in hiding have yet to be caught."

"Then what-.“

"There's been a series of attacks in the last few months." He continued. "Four of which have been confirmed as to involving muggles related to students attending, or who _have_ attended Hogwarts."

Nathan's brow raised. "What kind of attacks?"

"Lee says werewolves played a part in their deaths."

His face paled. "It must be a coincidence."

"That the victims just so  _happened_  to be related mostly to the muggle-born students involved in the war?" Kingsley asked. "I think not."

"But what motive would a werewolf have to attack them?" He asked. “It’s not like they really care about blood status.”

"That's exactly what I've been trying to figure out, Nathan." He shook his head. "I just can't make heads or tails of it. If it's a lone wolf out for revenge, then how are they locating the victims? What resources are they using? And if it is a group effort, what would make them act out in such a way? Especially in the muggle world? It's not like the normal criminal activity we've seen lately. It wouldn't make sense for it to be a hit for hire either. Especially since it involves the muggle world."

"Want me to look into it, sir?" Nathan asked after a moment of frustrated silence.

"It would honestly be beneficial to Lee if you could help the investigation." He decided. "We haven't had many Aurors left to spare, not to mention time to train any recruits."

"I'll do my best, sir." Nathan nodded and left the room with a determined stride.

After he was gone, Kingsley resumed his position behind the desk, though this time he picked up Dr. Granger's file.

"I hate this part."

* * *

 

Draco moved down the hall, silent as a shadow. No one could know he was here. He couldn't afford to be spotted. He was in no mood to answer questions regarding his presence here, and he certainly didn't want Pansy to realize he was coming for her.

He cracked the door open and peered inside. Pansy had never been one to pay much attention to her surroundings and he took advantage of her naïveté. She was alone now, entering her dorm bathroom without a care in the world. He whispered a silencing charm at the door and slipped inside.

She was washing off her makeup in the counter length mirror when she saw his reflection, dark and menacing, behind her. She spun around, shocked and a little intimidated by his presence. "Dr-Draco, what are you doing in here?"

"I came to make sure you kept that trap of yours shut." He replied curtly.

She forced a laugh. "Who the hell do you think you are? You can't just order me around-"

"Can't I?" He asked, taking a step forward and pinning her against the counter. "Last time I checked, you still did what you were told."

"That was before you ditched me for that mudblood slag of yours."

"No. You see,  _that's_ where you're wrong." He spat angrily. "If you value your pathetic little life at all, you will do as I say."

"Excuse me?" She looked appalled. "Are you even listening to yourself right now? I think that little bitch has done something to your brain. I am not a house elf, I won’t be ordered about and I won't do what you tell me. If I want to turn Granger's name into mud I will-"

He towered over her, his eyes angry as he growled, "If you ever, so much as mutter a  _single word_ that puts Granger in a bad spot, I will make sure it's the  _last word_ you'll ever say."

She was startled for a moment. It sounded as if he was threatening her. Could he really be threatening her? "You can't be serious?"

"Look at me." He demanded, her eyes focusing on his cold features. "Do I look serious?"

"….."

"I mean it Pansy. I'm not joking. If you do anything that puts her in danger, I won't hesitate to put an end to you."

"What…what the hell has happened to you, Draco?" She asked, her eyes clouded with angry tears. "You've changed. You're threatening your friends now because of some _mudblood_? And not just any mudblood, but _Granger_? You hate her! Why would you lower yourself to her level? She's nothing but trash! Why would you jump into bed her!"

"It's none of your business." He cracked. "It has absolutely nothing to do with you. In fact, you should be thanking the mudblood. If it wasn't for her, I would have done much worse."

"You wouldn't  _dare_ harm me." She insisted, her eyes hard.

"You think not?" He grabbed her arm and yanked her into him, her back ending up against his stomach. "You have greatly underestimated me. You have no idea what I'm capable of." He rasped in her ear.

"Get your filthy hands off of me!" She screeched. "I won't be intimidated by you! I'm going to tell everyone about you!" She struggled to get out of his hold but to no avail. "I'm going to make sure everyone knows that the Malfoys are mudblood lovers!" She continued, her voice hysterical. "You could have had anyone! But you chose that piece of filth? Don't think for a minute that she is safe. Once I tell, she is going to get it. I'll make sure of it! She'll regret this!"

He released her quickly and as she stumbled away from him. He couldn't stop his hands from shaking. "I told you. You're going to leave Granger out of it."

"Why? Why do you care so much about her reputation? Why does it matter?" She asked wiping tears from her eyes. "Her blood is dirty and her very existence is an abomination. She's nothing but trash."

"She's isn't any of those things to me."

Her eyes popped open in realization. "This…this is too much." She backed up against the sink. "You...I think you should leave."

"I've got one more thing to do here."

She tried to get away from him but he was too quick. He pinned her against a nearby wall and made her look into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Pansy. Hermione didn't want me to do this, but seeing as how she's taking a break from me, I guess I can do whatever the fuck I want."

"What are you going to do?" She asked, her eyes widening in fear. "Draco, why are you doing this to me! I'm your friend."

"You know too much." He replied. "I can't let you hurt her."

"Stop!" She cried. "Please!" But it was too late. He was already muttering the words that he thought would keep his secret.

" _Obliviate_." __

* * *

Hermione stared up at the ceiling, a heaviness settling in her chest. She couldn't stop reliving the last five minutes she spent with him. Their words were replaying in her head, making her extremely uneasy.

 _You'd rather let everything between us end, than oblivate that stupid girl_. His bitter voice echoed in her mind.

And she'd been so quick to defend herself.  _That's not fair, Draco._

 _No, what's not fair is you running out on me._  
  
He just didn't understand. She couldn't keep this up; all the sneaking around, the lying, and not to mention keeping her emotions out of it. She knew she didn't love the git, that much was obvious, but she couldn't deny that she cared for him to some extent. She should have ended their affair when she started caring. But she just couldn't bring herself to stop. She liked it, they had a connection and she enjoyed his company, but she was sure paying for it now.

 _It's better this way_ , she thought. She couldn't afford to get attached to him, by physical means or otherwise. This was the safest route she could take.

 _I don't want you to leave._ His voice and defeated expression when he'd said those words barged into her head, but she refused to let him win. He couldn't possibly give two shits about her, so he would be fine. He was just upset that she wasn't going to be his plaything anymore.

She rolled over onto her side and curled up, hugging her body pillow tightly. She was doing the right thing. He wasn't good for her. So why did she feel so bloody awful?

* * *

 

**Friday, September 18, 1998**

Blaise shook his head at the empty bed across from his. Draco had left sometime during the night and obviously hadn't returned.

"Sodding idiot." He mumbled, getting out of bed.

Last night had put a major kink in his and Luna's plan. He figured Pansy had cooled down by now. If he could talk her into keeping quiet they might still have a chance. She was probably still asleep so it would be pointless to go now.

His stomach rumbled and he looked at the clock.  _6:48 A.M._ Food first. Pansy later.

He was walking out of the Great Hall when he spotted long blonde hair and blue robes. Before he could think, he was already reaching for her, pulling her away from the door and into the hall. "Lovegood."

"Blaise?"Her big eyes just stared up at him. "What's wrong?"

"We have a problem."

**_Later_ **

Blaise was surprised when Luna knew something had happened. Apparently Hermione hadn't wanted to go to breakfast this morning with the rest of her friends. She was feeling "ill”.

Luna said she'd try to talk to Hermione about it though she didn't think Hermione would confide everything to her. That was fine. He just needed her to try.

He was on his own mission now. He had to talk some bloody sense into Pansy before she ruined everything. He was standing at her door just and was just about to knock when it opened. "Oh, Blaise, you scared me." She laughed. "I was about to go down for breakfast.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I wanted to talk to you about last night." He said, ushering her back inside her room. "I know you were really upset when we talked and I understand that. But you really have to look at the bigger picture here."

"What the hell?" She gave him a suspicious look. "I didn't even see you last night."

"Don't play around, Pansy." He groaned. "I don't have time to mess around."

"I'm not messing around." She pouted. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh really? So you have no recollection of me walking you back to your dorm and you yelling at me?" He asked skeptically. "It must have been someone else then."

She shook her head. "Has everyone gone nuts?"

"What-"

"First Draco and now you? What were you guys  _on_  last night?"

"Draco?" He stepped forward. "You saw Draco?"

"Yes, Draco." She said. "He was here earlier, asking me what I was doing last night."

"And what  _were_  you doing?"

"Studying if you must know," She sighed. "But I don't see why everyone is so bloody interested in my whereabouts."

"Sorry, Pansy." He replied. "We were a bit tossed, and like you said, I must have talked to someone else."

"Right, so if you don't mind I would really like to eat now."

"Yes, of course." He retreated out of her room.

He went over all the faces she'd made and her mannerisms as he talked to her. There was no way she was lying. She was a horrid liar and twitched way to much when she was bluffing. That's how he's won so many games of poker against her.

She was telling the truth. She didn't remember a thing. Now he knew why Draco hadn't been in the dorm last night. He'd went to finish the job. Pansy had been oblivated.

* * *

 

"Hemione, are you ok?"

She looked up from her glass of orange juice. "Yes, why?"

Ron shrugged. "You've just seemed really depressed the last couple days."

"I'm fine." She said, moving the glass between her hands. "I've just been a bit distracted. That's all."

Which was the truth. Yesterday had been rather difficult. She hadn't wanted to do much of anything until Luna had talked to her. She was surprised by how much Luna had supported her relationship with Draco. She'd even gone so far as to tell Hermione that she would help her fix things.

But Hermione wasn't interested in fixing things. She knew how dangerous it would become if everyone were to find out. She just hoped Pansy wouldn't tell anyone. Especially her friends.

She looked at Ron. He was smiling and telling her a story about him and Seamus. He was getting really into it, making faces and using wide gestures. She found herself smiling at his antics. It was nice to talk to him like this again. It felt almost normal.

"Hermione?" He spoke her name quietly and with a certain caution.

"Yes?"

"Let's go do something fun alright?" He said with a small smile.

"What for?"

"I can't really stand looking at your sad face anymore." He admitted, and she frowned. "So let's go find Harry and my sister. We'll do something, I don't know, crazy. What do you say?"

She thought for a moment. She could both stay here and bask in her depressing thoughts, or she could go out and spend time with the friends that she'd been missing so much lately. She made her choice. "I say that sounds wonderful."

* * *

 

Draco was in a right foul mood. He just felt off. Nothing had felt right since the night Granger had walked out on  him. Even Blaise hadn't been able to bring him out of his little funk. He'd found out that Draco had obliviated Pansy, but he hadn't chastised him for it. He'd said something along the lines of, "That's what I was going to do."

So Blaise was on his side. But really, what was the bloody point of it all? Granger was originally a distraction. He'd told Blaise that. He wasn't pursuing a bloody relationship with her. It was just a deal between them. Sure she'd abruptly ended it. Sure he wanted to continue their "exchanges" but it wasn't a big deal. He didn't care.

But then, why couldn't he just get on with his life? It wasn't like he had feelings for the Gryffindor. She'd just been a great way to pass the time. So what if she helped him? So what if she made him think of her every bloody day? It wasn't him. He didn't want her. It was his body that did. Yes, it had nothing to do with _him_ at all, just his raging hormones.

He rested against a column and closed his eyes. The more he lied to himself, the more phony he sounded. He just needed to breathe and remain calm. He didn't need her. She was just a phase.

"Ron, sometimes I really do think you were dropped on your head as a child."

His eyes snapped open.

"I probably was."

It was as if she knew he was thinking about her. Why did she have to show up now? And with the damn Weasel no less?

Anger boiled in his gut but he rolled his shoulders back and stepped out behind a pillar, giving a low whistle to draw their attention to him. "What's this? The golden trio's love birds are back together again?"

They both turned to face him, Hermione shifting uncomfortably and Ron frowning. "Piss off, Malfoy."

"Is there anything other than vulgarity in your vocabulary, Weasley?" He asked, gliding towards them.

"Is there anything but snarky comments in yours?" Hermione ejected.

"Fiesty, Granger." He replied boldly, giving Ron a dirty look before smirking. "I like it."

Ron glared daggers at him but it just made him more determined to get back at her.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" She asked, making eye contact with him.

"Oh, nothing really." He said, circling around the duo and stopping to stand in front of Hermione. "Just saw an opportunity to get under your skin." He grinned wildly at her. "And you know how much I enjoy that."

She blushed and Ron made a slight growling noise before moving between her and Draco. "Get the hell out of our way."

"Or what?" He spat. "You'll hurt me? " He laughed then because the Weasel's face was bright red and he looked like he was going to explode at any minute. "I'm  _so_  scared." He mocked. "You couldn't curse me if you tried."

"Why you-"

"Ron!" Hermione warned, pulling him back. "Just let it go."

"Yes, listen to your little girlfriend. You don't want to fight me."

"Oh, Yes I do." He snarled.

"Ron, ignore him." She insisted, throwing Draco a dirty look. "You're only falling into his pathetic game."

"Game, is it?" He sighed and rocked back on the balls of his feet. "Hmmm...yes. I've forgotten how fun it was to play with weaklings."

_Yeah. That did it._

Ron took a swing at him but Draco ducked, laughing as he pulled his wand out of his pocket. "Are you sure you want to be doing this Weasel?" He asked, his eyes shooting over to Hermione's darkened face. "I mean, if you're trying to make me look bad-"

"He doesn't have to do a  _thing_ to make you look bad." Hermione retorted. "You're doing an excellent job of making an arse out of yourself on your own."

His smile remained but he was raging on the inside. "Is that so?"

She ignored any attempt at a rebuttal and grabbed Ron's arm roughly, pulling him away. "Come on. We don't have time for this foolishness. We are supposed to be having fun right?"

The red head gave in and Draco watched in bitterness as they disappeared down the hall.

He was relatively stunned about how she had responded to him. It was like everything they'd done until now had been void.

They were supposed to be having "fun" huh? It bloody figured. She went right back to clinging onto the Weasel.

His chest tightened.

How could she just go on like nothing ever happened? Why should she get to go back to the way things were and forget about him? He _couldn't_ forget her. He didn't _want_ to. She'd done something to him that was irreversible. Something had changed inside of him and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

 

**Saturday, September 19, 1998**

It had been eight years since she first began Hogwarts, four months since the end of the war, twelve weeks since she'd heard any news about her parents, fifteen days since she began her odd relationship with Malfoy, forty-eight hours since she'd ended it, and twenty minutes since she'd been taken hostage by Ginny and Luna for a celebration. There was plenty to celebrate, after all, it was Hermione's nineteenth birthday. She should be happy, right?

Her friends celebrated with her in the Great Common. It was a huge turnout. Everyone gave out birthday wishes and she had even received a few nice gifts, including an original playscript of Shakespeare’s MacBeth from Ginny. She felt like things had really gone back to the way they were before. She'd had a lot of fun and laughed more than she had in a very long time. The only thing that seemed to be missing from her happy day was a certain blonde wizard.

No matter how much she willed herself to forget everything that happened, she just couldn't. Even when Ron was being so sweet all she could think about was Draco's face when she'd walked away from him, and after Pansy had kept quiet about what  she had seen, Hermione had begun to regret her decision to end things.

But she knew that it was how things had to be. So she shoved all the thoughts of him to the back of her mind and continued enjoying her party.

* * *

 

Blaise was reading a book when he heard Draco groan from his chair. Things just weren't working out like they'd planned. It seemed like the two idiots were going to play hide and seek with their feelings. Why couldn't they see what was so bloody obvious to him and Luna?

Draco took a drink of rum and Blaise sighed. "Stop with your pouting mate." He said. "It's not a great look for you."

"I'm not pouting." He retorted angrily.

"Then what would you call this then?" He asked, looking up from his book.

The blonde sighed. "Boredom."

He almost chuckled. _Almost_. "I'm surprised you're not crashing her party then."

His eyes lit up.  _Yes. He was interested._  "Whose party?"

"Granger's of course." Luna had told him about it yesterday. They'd figured this was as good of an opportunity as any to try to mend things between their friends.

"Why is she having a party?"

Merlin, he was dense sometimes. "It's her birthday."

"It is?"

"Seriously, mate?" Blaise sighed. "We've been in the same class with her for seven years, not to mention the fact that you were fucking her for a month. How could you not know?"

"Shut up." He said, getting up. "I just didn't think to ask that kind of thing. It's not like she told me."

"So are you going to crash it?"

"No." He walked over to the desk and jotted something down. "I'm just going to talk to her."

"Is that a note?"

"No, it's a recipe." He replied sarcastically.

"I can get it to her," Blaise told him.

His eyebrows raised. "How?"

"I've got connections."

Draco smirked and handed it over. "Make sure she gets it mate. I'm counting on you."

Blaise nodded. "You know I won't let you down."

"I know."

* * *

 

Hermione was enjoying a glass of Daisyroot Draught when Luna appeared beside her. "Hello, Hermione."

"What's up, Luna?"

"I was told to give you this." She said, handing Hermione a piece of paper.

She took it and unfolded it quickly.

_Hermione,_

_Meet me in the Tower at 10:00._

_D.M._

She looked back up to the girl in front of her. "How did you-"

"It doesn't matter where I got it." She said. "All that matters is what you do with it."

She couldn't deny the intense desire to rush up to the Astronomy Tower she had in that moment. It had felt like so long since she'd talked to him. Sure, she'd seen him around and exchanged cryptic and somewhat hostile words with him but it just wasn't the same.

She wanted to see him, but she also knew the consequences of seeing him. She glanced up at the clock.  _9:45_.

Was it ok to just talk to him for a minute? A minute wouldn't hurt. She'd see what he wanted and then she would leave. She made a pact with herself. "Luna, can you cover for me for a bit?"

The girl smiled knowingly. "Of course."

He was there, gazing out the window at the sliver moon when she arrived.

"Sending me messages through Luna now, are you?"

He didn't look back at her while replying, "Well, it's not like I could use the coin." He got quiet. "You probably threw it out."

"No." She paused. "I still have it, actually."

He turned to look at her. "You do?"

She shrugged. "Well...it's a good coin." She didn't like how he was staring at her. Like he knew what she was thinking.

"Yes, of  _course,_ that's why you kept it."

She didn't want a fight so she went straight to the question at hand. "What do you want, Malfoy?"

His features softened slightly. "Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"

"You never asked." She replied bluntly.

He was silent for a minute as he tried to process what he wanted to say. He missed her. He wanted to keep seeing her, even if it was just as friends. He just needed her warmth in his life. "Her- Granger, I've been thinking…I know we ended things…but…I mi-."

"Just don't Malfoy." She interjected suddenly. "Please. I can't do this anymore."

"I know. I get that. I just…I guess I wanted to say," he leaned in and gave her a light kiss on the lips before backing away, a look of slight disappointment on his face. "Happy birthday." His eyes lingered on her face before he whispered, "I'm sorry things turned out this way."

"Me too." She muttered, unable to say anything else. She stood motionless for a moment, watching his back as he walked away from her. Her heart ached in her chest and she felt a hot tear roll down her face. She brushed it away quickly before coming to her senses. It was her effing birthday. She shouldn't be alone in a tower crying over Malfoy.

Why was it that he always seemed to worm his way into her psyche and break it down? She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't want him so bad and she certainly shouldn't be wishing he would come back to her. She frowned and made a mental note to bury the blasted coin in her dresser when she got back to her dorm tonight.

* * *

 

**Sunday, September 20, 1998**

_Draco sat next to the fireplace in the Manor's library, his eyes focused more on the crackling logs than the book in his lap. He had tried numerous times to forget the things he'd done last night, but it was impossible. He hadn't even slept since then, he couldn't shut his eyes without seeing their bloodied and bruised corpses. It was beginning to be too much._

_He hadn't heard the door open, or the footsteps on the hardwood floor as a presence came to sit on the chair next to him. It was only when the person spoke that he took notice, not that he was happy about who it was sitting beside him. In fact, he pretty much hated him._

_"What are you doing in here by yourself?" A deep, yet soft voice asked._

_"Oh, just catching up on my reading." He replied with a sarcastic sigh. "What do you want, Bastien?"_

_"Your father was looking for you." He said, as Draco shut his book and turned to him. "Seems a congratulation is in order."_

_"As if there was much to be celebrating about." He muttered._

_"Oh, stop with your brooding," Bastien smirked. "It's unbecoming of you."_

_Draco grimaced and got up, putting his book back in its place on the shelf._

_He heard the chair shift as the other man rose from his seat and came to stand beside him. "You know what your problem is, Malfoy?" He asked in an almost sing-song voice._

_Draco inhaled, trying not to let his growing anxiety show. "No, but I'm sure you're going to enlighten me."_

_He smiled as he placed a hand on Draco's shoulder. "You let your sympathy get the best of you." He said, sweeping a lock of his curly black hair out of his face. "Or should I say, your **humanity**."_

_Draco's eyes narrowed. "What are you going on about?"_

_Bastien sighed and released his comrade. "You've got potential, kid. I'll give you that. You're more skilled than most of the brats your age and probably smarter than half the twats the Dark Lord has following him around. You've got these wits about you and you excel in using Dark Magic, but what you **lack** , is the cold-heartedness to do so." He turned his icy blue eyes to him. "You care too much."_

_"I don't give a fuck about what happens to those pathetic muggles," Draco replied quickly and with distaste._

_"Oh, but you do," Bastien responded, keeping his eyes glued to Draco's. "You know, I've always heard about the Malfoy's being callous, emotionless bastards. But you don't seem that emotionless to me." Draco shifted uncomfortably under his scrutinous gaze. Even though Bastien was only an inch taller than he was, there was something about him that frightened him. "I can see the pain this war is causing you." Bastien was saying. "You might have been able to hide your emotions in the past, but when dealing with life and death, you're much more." He paused. "Transparent."_

_Draco had had enough. He couldn't let this bastard get the better of him, no matter how crazy he was. "Why the hell do you care if I feel guilty about killing? It's only going to benefit you later anyway. The Dark Lord chose **you**. So why are you here lecturing me about my bloody feelings?"_

_"Bastien's eyes darkened. "Because, Draco," He stated calmly. "After this sodding war is over I'll need your power. I may become the Dark Lord's second in command, but I will be a leader in my own right. And I can still see the darkness in you. There isn't much we wouldn't be able to do. I want you by my side. You just have to learn to leave that humanity behind you."_

_"And if I don't?"_

_"Well, let's just say it'll be better for both of us if you do."_

_Draco just kept his eyes fixed on Bastien's face until the twenty-five-year-old sighed, his eyes lightening._

_"Lovely chat, Malfoy. But I've got things to do. Don't forget to see your father." He chuckled. "He's got wonderful news for you."_

Draco sat upright, his heart chugging along like the Hogwarts Express. It had been awhile since he'd dreamt of Bastien, that heartless arse. In all honesty, he'd been a bit intimidated by the bloke back then. It always confused him why Bastien had taken such an interest in him. All he'd done from the time they'd met, was berate and poke fun at Draco every chance he could. That particular conversation had thrown him for a loop. He was pretty sure Bastien knew how flimsy Draco’s ties and allegiances were to the Dark Lord. So why would he even want him to be his lackey?

The whole time he'd been a Death Eater he had been terrified, and Bastien probably knew that. He could never stomach the after parties or participate in the vicious acts of rape out of his own accord. It felt  _wrong_ , and he'd never seen so many men and women enjoying the torment of others. Sure, he'd enjoyed playing games with people, breaking them down, and making them cry. He'd been a bully, not a very good one, but one all the same, but physical torture felt different to him. Being a bully to make yourself feel better wasn’t the same as wishing death upon his victims. When he was forced to punish those under the Dark Lords command, he had almost felt better about killing them. At least then their suffering was over. He didn't have to hear their screams anymore.

But he did hear them still, didn't he? In his nightmares.

He rubbed his temples. Why couldn't he get over this? The war was over. He needed to leave it in the past where it belonged.

* * *

 

**_Monday, September 21, 1998_ **

Hermione was restless. She was exhausted, but couldn't quite get to sleep. It wasn't unusual lately. She was constantly tired and feeling under the weather. Her mood wasn't any better. One moment she was happy sitting amongst her friends and then next, she wanted to cry in a corner. Perhaps, she shouldn't have taken on the extra course hours. If she would have known how rough it would be to keep up with her work, she would have changed her plans. She supposed it was too late now, so she would just have to figure out a way to schedule her time properly and find means to sleep and eat on a regular basis.

She supposed her schedule wasn't the only thing causing her discomfort. The fact that Ron had been hitting on her and Draco had backed off probably had something to do with it too. She'd wanted it this way so it shocked her to find that she didn't really like it.

She had gone back to being Hermione Granger, the Golden Trio's bookworm. She didn't mind at first but it was now obvious that everyone had lives outside of their friendship. They had other things to worry about day to day. She'd come to terms with that long ago though. She knew she shouldn't burden her friends with her silly troubles. Even if they say it's ok. Like tonight, she was feeling rather lonely. But tonight was one of those nights when she couldn't bring herself to bother them. Ginny and Harry were finding a way to spend the whole night together and Ron was playing cards with Seamus in the Great Common. She didn't really know where Luna was but she assumed the girl was probably sleeping, which was what she should be doing.

She was on her way to bed when she saw a saw a letter sitting on the table. When had that gotten here?

She slowly made her way over to it and picked it up tenderly. If it was for her then this could mean a lot of things.

Her initials were scripted elegantly across the front and her heart leapt when she noticed the red seal on the back. It was from the Ministry.

Finally! A message about her parents. Maybe they had found them.

She tore the letter open, quickly reading the first lines.

Her heart stilled in her chest.

_Dear Miss Hermione Granger,_

_I sincerely apologize for the lateness of this letter. I also would have preferred to be there in person to deliver this news, but as the Minister for Magic, I am needed elsewhere and unable to meet with you. I hope you will not hold this against me._

_What I'm about to disclose is hard for me to write, but it must be said. Upon our inquisitions of the whereabouts of one, Alexander Granger and one Jean Granger, we found their location. They were found just outside of Cairns, Queensland in Australia._

_Unfortunately, this is where the good news ends. I regret to inform you that on the nineteenth of August, nineteen ninety-eight, at four fifteen in the afternoon, Dr. Granger was involved in a muggle car accident on the way back from holiday. He sustained major damage to his internal organs and was rushed to a hospital nearby. He remained in critical condition for two days before things took a turn for the worse._

_I'm so sorry, Hermione. He passed away due to his injuries-_

The thin parchment slipped from her fingers. She couldn't even read the rest.

… _..passed away...  
_  
No. _No_. No _bloody_ way. That was _impossible_. Her heart hammered inside her chest, her lungs straining to breathe. This couldn't be happening. This wasn’t true. This was just a nightmare. Her father, the one who told her she could be anything she wanted to be, who took her to the zoo at Christmas time, the one that called her "Princess" and bragged about her at work, the loving man that she obliviated to forget her, was dead?

She refused to believe it as she fought back the hysteria that was threatening to explode from her and tried to clear her mind. This just wasn't possible. How could this happen? She'd tried so hard to protect them.

She forced herself to sit down to read the rest of the letter. The only good news that Kingsley had was that her mother was still alive, albeit she was missing. At that moment, all rational thoughts ceased. She moved, almost as if she were on autopilot, and yanked the drawer of her dresser open. She stared at the shiny object as tears brimmed in her eyes.

She didn't want to be in control anymore. She wanted to let everything go.

She grabbed the coin and squeezed it tightly.

* * *

 

**Tuesday,** **September 22, 1998**

**2:45 A.M.**

Draco stared at the coin in his hand. He just couldn't bare throwing it out. It was the only tangible thing that he possessed that proved that what he'd had with Granger wasn't a dream.

He just didn't understand why it meant so damn much to him.

He sighed and laid back across the bed. Blaise was asleep in the next bed and Salazar knew where Theo was. He'd been busy hooking up with as many girls as possible this year so he was probably off somewhere with this week's flavor. Not that he could blame him. He wanted to do the same thing.

There was just one problem.

The only girl he wanted to sink himself into was back to hating his guts.

He was about to try sleeping his troubles away when he felt the familiar burning sensations between his fingertips.

He sat up quickly and lifted the coin to his face.

_R.O.R_

_As soon as you get this._

He blinked a few times. There was no way she was calling for him. His mind was playing tricks on him.

Then it burned again, this time, the scroll appeared on the other side.

_I understand if you don't come._

_But I really need you._

Why was he such a pushover? He should just ignore the coin and go back to bed, but he knew he wouldn't do that, because as much as he wanted to stay where he was and forget all about her, something inside of him demanded that he go.

"I'm so going to regret this," He muttered, pulling a t-shirt over his head and sneaking out of the room.

When he arrived she was already there, sitting on the bed.

"Could you please tell me what I'm doing here?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck and making his way toward her. "If you haven't noticed, it's three in the bloody morning." He snorted. "Besides, I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."

"I…Umm…well I."

"Well spit it out, Granger." He huffed in annoyance. "I haven't got all night."

Instead of answering, she stood up and strode toward him quickly. Before he could react she kissed him hard. He pulled away from her, asking, "What are you up to?"

"Fuck me, Draco." She demanded, her voice smoldering.

His mouth and eyes popped open in shock at her tone. "Excuse me?"

"I want you to shag me until I can't function. I need a distraction…Or I'll start thinking too much. Please." She looked up at him, her brown eyes hungry.

"So you woke me up and brought me here so I could fuck you senseless?"

She nodded.

Gods, why did she have to be so damn sexy? He'd already decided that she was bad for his health. But now that she was here in front of him, saying those things, looking like  _that_ , how could he turn her down. "Alright then, but I won't go easy on you this time."

She grinned. "Perfect."

**_Later_ **

They were tangled together in the sheets, her head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around her.

He couldn't believe how much he'd wanted her. She'd driven him to the brink of insanity and back. He'd taken her in practically every position he could think of and she hadn't minded in the slightest. She'd come to him wanting it rough so he'd complied.

The fact that something was bothering her hadn't escaped his notice, though. There was no other reason he could think of that would have brought her back to him.

He couldn't ask her earlier considering he was too busy being her distraction but now seemed like a good time to question her motives.

"So…are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asked, stroking her bare arms with his knuckles.

"It's…it's nothing."

"Come now, we both know that's not true. You can tell me." He assured her. "After all, you know one of my biggest secrets."

She looked up at him a moment before responding, "Ok." She curled into him, inhaling deeply. "I…I got a letter from the Minister today," Her breath caught in her throat and he ran a hand through her hair soothingly. "I've been waiting to hear news about my parents for ages. You know, after I sent them to Australia I had  no way of finding them again. After the war, Kingsley sent some men to look for them. He said…he said, my father…" She choked on a sob that was threatening to spill out of her.

He lifted her up to look at her face. A tear ran down her cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb, his hand caressing her cheek softly. "What happened, Hermione? You can tell me, it's ok."

"He's  _dead_." She whispered, reaching up and placing her hand on top of his. "He died…in an accident, an accident totally _unrelated_ to magic…Isn't that bloody ironic? I sent them away so they could be protected from the war, from magic and then this happens….and my mum….she was so heartbroken that she went into a fit…she took off….she disappeared….." She leaned into him, resting her head on his chest. "They didn't even remember that I existed, Draco. I _obliviated_ them." She sobbed. "So my dad, he died without knowing he had a daughter who loved him….and my mum, she ran away without knowing who she really was, without knowing she had a family to grieve with her. And now….and now they can't find her, so she'll  _never_  know….and I'll  _never_  see my dad again."

She was crying harder now, her hot tears running down his chest. He slowly wrapped his arms around her frame, hugging her to him. "Let it out….it's ok."

"What am I going to do?" She asked, looking up at him, her face streaked with tears and her eyes bloodshot, but still that beautiful brown. "The only family I have is gone…"

He couldn't stop himself. He raised his hands and gently wiped away her tears with his thumbs. She seemed comforted somewhat by his action and closed her eyes. He leaned in, placing his lips on her warm forehead before whispering, "I don't have the answer to that, Hermione, but I  _can_ be here for you…..if you need me to be."

Her eyes opened and a single tear slid down her face. "Thank you, Draco." She said, moving to kiss him. "You have no idea how much you've helped me."

He remained silent, not knowing what to say, or what she was doing. She was heartbroken and crying. But she was now straddling him, kissing his neck, running her hands over his chest. He couldn't  _think_ , let alone _breathe_. He just reacted. He grabbed her and flipped her onto her back trailing soft kisses along her stomach. When he got to her mouth, he stopped and ran a trembling hand through her hair.

Never before had he seen her so utterly vulnerable, so lonely, or so beautiful. He wanted to make her smile, make her laugh, make her happy. It was a strange warm sensation in his chest. He couldn't quite place it as he gently caressed her body. He'd never taken the time with it before. He'd appreciated it, sure. But touched and explored every inch? Never.

Well, now he wanted to. So he did.

He took her hand in his and kissed her fingertips, enticing a small sigh from her. He continued kissing along her arm until he reached the fading slur etched into her skin. He'd purposely avoided looking at it any other time they'd been together. The word  _Mudblood_ that had been carved into her flesh had been a reminder that he'd once hated this woman. Though he couldn't possibly image hating her now.

"Does it still hurt?" He asked, kissing it softly.

"Not anymore." She sat up and ran a hand over his forearm. "Does yours?"

"No. Not since..." His gaze fell.

"We match, don't we?" She lifted his chin to make him look at her. "Our scars are a testament to our brutal past."

"Hermione."

"It's ok, Draco. We aren't who we used to b-."

He silenced her with a kiss. "Shh. I'm supposed to be the one comforting you, remember?"

She nodded and sighed into his ear. "Then stop talking."

He couldn't help but smirk down at her. "As you wish." He whispered before gently and seductively working magic on her body.

**Chapter Revised**


	15. Destiny Can't be Forced

 

**Tuesday, September 22, 1998**

**_Morning_ **

Hermione woke to the sound of Draco's soft breathing beside her.

 _Why am I here?_ She wondered briefly before all the events of the previous night came crashing down on her. She held back a cry as the pain came rushing back like a surging waterfall.

Her father was dead.

She looked over at the blonde. Even in his sleep, he was holding her closely, his steady breath tickling her forehead. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

He had come for her. He had shagged her senseless like she'd asked him too, but he'd known the whole time that something was wrong. He’d known she was hurting.  _Somehow_  he’d known and he had listened to every word. He'd listened to her cry. He'd wiped away her tears and spoken quietly.

Last night he had been so gentle with her. So  _un_ -Malfoy like. His touches had been soft and his kisses delicate as he took her. While still passionate, it had been more sensual and slow than any time before. She’d never felt more cherished in her whole life. Last night things had changed for her. She'd seen him in a different light, and somewhere along the line, she'd stopped holding back and let him in. She’d felt something stir deep within her and she couldn’t stop it. Why had she allowed herself to get lost that deep in him?

Her heart thumped loudly with this new, unsettling knowledge, as she carefully crawled out from under his arm.

How could she be so bloody careless?

In her emotional state last night she'd sought comfort in the arms of a man she should be staying far, far away from. It hadn't been a rational thought. It'd been one of sheer impulse.

Her heart ached again, wanting her to face the facts in front of her.

She no longer could deny the passion she felt with the blonde. He'd been so caring last night, and it wasn’t forced or faked. It was genuine. He'd listened as she spilled her guts about her father and he hadn't judged. He'd just been there. He'd been there this _whole_ time, but she couldn't face her feelings for him. Not now. Not when there was so much going on in her head and her heart. She'd just lost one of the most precious people to her and she didn't know how she was going to handle it.

Her hands shook as she squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the prickling sting of tears to cease. She couldn't do this. There was so much more she could lose if she pursued her feelings for Malfoy. Not only his possible, if not probable, rejection of her feelings for him, but dealing with the fallout of her friends becoming aware of it. It was a risk she just wasn't willing to take right now. She knew her limits. This was it.

The room shifted then, feeling her intentions and forming to her needs. A desk appeared across the room and she made her way to it. Shakily she wrote out a note that she knew would mean the end.

She heard him groan and she froze in place. If he woke up now she would have to explain. And right now, she just didn't have the ability to make logical or coherent thoughts.

When he didn't wake she placed the note on her pillow, trying desperately not to crawl back into the covers. She shook off the aching she felt and quickly dressed. As she made her way to the door she gave one last lingering look at the beautiful, unconscious boy sleeping on the bed. This would be the last time she'd see him this way, peaceful and innocent in his sleep. She'd already made up her mind. There was no turning back now. She just couldn't see Draco anymore. Because last night, they hadn't just fucked, they'd made love, and that scared the shit out of her.

"Hermione, where have you been?" Ginny asked upon her arrival in the common room. "We've been-" She cut herself off after taking in her friend’s haggard appearance. Ron and Harry looked on in shock. "Hermione?"

She took one look at her friend's faces and lost it. She'd made it this far without crying but she couldn't do it anymore. She collapsed on the floor at Ginny's feet and her friends dropped down beside her.

"What's wrong?" Harry's concerned voice whispered, his arm wrapping around her.

She willed her voice to work but to no avail. All that came out was sputtering sobs and she felt Ron lean into her other side. "Hey now. It's ok...come on 'Mione. Tell us what's wrong."

She grabbed onto his shirt sleeve and choked out the words, "He's dead."

"Who?" Ginny asked. "Who is?"

"My dad!" She cried, letting it all out. "He was in an accident in Australia. He didn’t- he didn’t make it."

Harry hugged her tightly. "Oh, Hermione. I'm so sorry."

"Why did this have to happen!" She sobbed. "Why?"

"Why does anything happen?" Harry mumbled. "We'll get through this. I promise. We'll help you get through this."

"We're here for you." Ron agreed.

She nodded and continued to cry until she couldn't cry anymore. Her friends sat on the floor with her, whispering words of comfort and embracing her. She couldn't believe how much she was holding back until this moment. She had thought she'd let it all out last night with Draco. Obviously, she'd been wrong. Telling her friends had been much different. It was a different kind of comfort. Harry understood her suffering more than anyone. Perhaps that's why she felt solace within their little circle.

But there was something that she wasn't telling them. A hurt in her heart that she couldn't share with them. The other reason why she was sobbing mess couldn't be known to them. She'd been sleeping with their childhood enemy and she had  _feelings_  for him. There was no way she could ever mutter those words, so she kept the thoughts and feelings for him to herself. She just hoped her note would make sure that Malfoy didn't come after her.

* * *

 

Draco rolled over, his eyes fluttering open at the sound of a click. He'd expected to wake up to feel the warmth of her body against him, so when all he felt was cold sheets, he was deeply confused. He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and scanned the room.

No Hermione.

 _What the hell?_  A small panic started to take over. _Where did she go?_   _She wouldn't just leave. Not after last night._

He moved to get up and that's when he saw it.

A piece of white paper with his name on it.

He picked it up and stared at the script, his uneasy heart beating wildly as he read.

_Draco,_

_You can't imagine how grateful I am for your help. You had absolutely no obligations to me, yet you still came when I asked, despite our fight after the incident with Pansy. You honestly keep surprising me. Last night was one of the hardest nights of my life and you have no idea how much your comfort meant to me. We shared something special and I promise I will never forget it as long as I live._

_But I'm sorry, Draco._

_You may hate me for what I'm about to say, and that's understandable, I won’t hold it against you. You’ll have every right to be angry with me. I said I'd be there for you, be your escape, but it seems like I'm going to break that promise. I just can't do this anymore. I can't afford to get further involved in this affair. I wasn't myself last night and as wonderful as the night ended, it brought out things inside of me that I wasn't ready for. I was heartbroken and confused. I don't deny the desire I have for you, but I am not emotionally stable right now. We went into this leaving our emotions at the door. Our relationship was supposed to be strictly physical, but I've broken that contract, Malfoy. I let my emotions get in the way and I've made a grave mistake by dragging you along for the ride. Whatever feelings we share, if any, can't be pursued. You and I both know this._

_I hope that you can forgive me._

_Sincerely,_

_Hermione_

The paper crumpled in his fist.

She couldn't  _possibly_  be that daft! Anger surged through him. After last night, how could she  _still_  say it was over?

After all that?

He'd thought...

His chest burned as he threw the wadded paper across the room. Why? Why was she doing this to him? Hadn't he come when she called? Hadn't he comforted her? Hadn't he done everything in his power to make her forget all her pain and worries?

How could she leave him alone like this? Wasn't it enough? Wasn't  _he_  enough? Merlin, she was making him lose his sodding mind! He ran his hands through his hair and bit back a growl.

Why hadn't he seen it earlier? Why had it finally sunk in only after she'd fallen asleep in his arms? He couldn't believe he'd been so blind to something that he should have known all along.

The feeling that had been bubbling inside of him when it came to anything concerning Granger, was  _love_.

He  _loved_  her.

He was in love with the mudbood girl whom he was raised to despise.

He didn't know how or when it had happened, but somewhere along the line she'd captivated him. He should have been infuriated that he'd allowed himself to fall for the girl. It was so unlike him. Malfoy's didn't love. They only did what they had to for their pride and their family.

He should be horrified, angry that he'd broken his own rule, but he wasn't. In fact, he was somewhat relieved. All this time he thought he was losing himself, that she was taking something from him, but he'd been wrong. She hadn't stolen a piece of him. She'd given him a new reason to live because up until now he'd been a shadow.

He got up from the bed and dressed, leaving the room, and all his precious memories, behind him.

He'd do what she wanted. He'd back off for now. He knew how fragile her heart was. He couldn't ask her to love him right after her father's death, he wasn’t that selfish, but this fight wasn't over. He'd get her back. No matter what.

* * *

 

**Saturday, September 26, 1998**

Blaise watched as his friend sank down into a sofa. He'd been quiet the last couple of days. He'd come back one morning looking a total wreck. He refused to explain himself to Blaise and had stayed in their room the rest of the day. He didn't know if he'd consumed any alcohol but chances are, he had.

It wasn't until the next day that he'd heard the whispers in the hall and not long after that Luna had sought him out, explaining the situation.

Now he was at a loss. He just didn't know what to do from here. For once in his life, he didn't have a backup plan. Because how can you predict the death of someone?

Hermione was doing a little better. She hadn't cried for at least fifteen hours though she still found her thoughts wandering to her mum and dad. She didn't know what she would have done without Luna and Harry especially. Both of them had lost a parent. They knew what she was going through. It also helped that they had let her do the talking. All conversations regarding her loss were on her own terms.

She hadn't been surprised when the news had leaked throughout the school. But she tried not to let it bother her. She had other things to worry about. Like how she was going to go about finding her mum later, and how she was going to get over her feelings for Draco. Both were contributing to her sleepless nights.

"I don't see why everyone is so bloody interested in Granger lately," Pansy grumbled rather loudly at dinner. "Who cares?"

Draco tried hard not to say anything. If he got too upset and made a mistake, it could possibly trigger something in her mind and bring her memories back. He didn't need to add her anger to his list of things ruining his life.

So while she was spouting off nonsense about mudbloods and what she was going to do after Hogwarts, he was letting his gaze travel around the room.

His eyes finally landed on his target. She was sitting between Luna and Ginny, her hair looking rather bushy compared to late, and there were dark circles under her eyes. His heart ached as he watched her. She was smiling, but it wasn't real. She was forcing it. He could tell, even from his seat, that she didn't want to be there.

Then her head turned slightly and she caught his gaze. They stared at each other for a moment, her soft brown eyes lingering on his gray ones before he broke their stare by turning away. He just couldn't do it. He couldn't hold eye contact with her. It hurt too much. He wanted to go over there and take her back to his room. He wanted to tell her she didn't have to be strong if she didn't want to be, but of course, he couldn't do that. She didn't want him to interfere. So he remained where he was, miserable and trying to drown out Pansy's irritating voice.

He had no such luck. "-she just wants people to feel sorry for her." He turned his head to look at her. She was talking to Daphne and Theo, her face in a scowl. "It makes me sick."

"You want to know what makes  _me_  sick?" He interrupted, causing his housemates to look back at him in interest. "People who are unnecessarily cruel to others because they want attention."

"Excuse me?" Pansy's mouth was agape.

"Yes, It surprises me too, that I find bullying to be rather boring when it involves someone losing a father." He said, getting up. "But please, don't stop on my account. I don't give a shit about how fickle and ugly you are being if you don't."

No one said a word as he made his exit. Obviously, Granger had done much more than mess with his heart. She'd messed with how he saw things as well.

* * *

 

**Sunday** **, September 27, 1998**

Ron sighed as he watched her laughing with Luna.

The day she'd told them about her father had been quite dreadful. He'd wanted to cry with her. He knew how much she loved her parents. Hell, he liked them a lot too. Seeing her like that, heartbroken and distressed, brought out his protective side. He hadn't left her side the rest of the day. She'd been depressed and hadn't spoken much the next few days, but her spirits had raised a bit since then.

Luna had somehow brought a smile back to her face. The two of them had been inseparable the last two days. He didn't know when the two girls had grown so close, but he was grateful for it now.

She was still smiling at something Luna had said when she met his gaze. She nodded slightly and he felt himself smirk.

Godric he'd been a fool. He missed the way she smiled at him like that. Why did he have to go and fuck it all up?

He still loved her. Why had he been so bloody scared of committing to her?

Maybe when things got better, he could try again. If she was willing he would show her just how serious he was about her.

* * *

 

**Monday, September 28, 1998**

"Circe, he wasn't joking," Theo muttered as he buckled up his pants. This was a lot more fun than beating the Irishman at cards.

"What?" Pansy's cool voice asked from beneath the satin gray sheets of her dorm bed.

He looked over his shoulder at her. "Nothing, just talking to myself."

"That's not very healthy, Theo."

"No, what's not healthy is my attraction to you." He teased, leaning across the bed to kiss her.

"Bloody charmer." She pouted.

He laughed and sat down at her desk, slipping his shoes back on. When Draco had asked him the keep Pansy busy a few weeks ago, he'd taken it to a whole new level.

Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't do what Draco told him to. He'd never been as loyal as an underling like Vincent or Gregory had been. He'd always chosen his own path and while they had been friends as children, he only humored Draco in their  years at Hogwarts because of his position in society. If being friends with Draco would get him further along in life, then that was what he would do.

Things had really gotten skewed the last two years regarding both him and Draco, though it hadn't affected him negatively as of yet. So he'd decided to return to Hogwarts and focus on having a bit of fun.

One thing he despised, though, was getting Draco's sloppy seconds. And when it came to a few of the Slytherin girls? Well, let’s just say he sometimes felt like he was inadvertently sucking his friends dick.

He looked over at the still naked form of Pansy and grinned. He couldn't really complain about her, though. His friend wasn't lying when he'd said she was good in the sac. In fact, he'd secretly harbored feelings for her since year five. He could never get close to her though because of her infatuation with Draco.

The more he thought about it, the clearer his true feelings became. He may be friends with the bloke, but in many ways, he was quite jealous of him. Truth be told Theo had wanted to follow the Dark Lord back then. He'd been extremely put off when he'd found out his friend had become a Death Eater. What made him so much better than Theo? His blood was pure too. He wasn't bad looking either. There were just as many girls that fawned over him that Draco had.

He frowned. Why was he thinking about this now? They weren't kids anymore and Draco had fallen out of favor with just about everyone in the wizarding world. It was just a matter of time before Theo had a chance to shine.

He'd already claimed his first prize.

Pansy had been all too willing to jump into bed with him after a brief row with the Malfoy heir. He knew she was just using him to feel wanted but that was fine. He knew she didn't have a real chance with the blonde, so he would wait for her to crawl back to him. And then he'd snag her.

He smirked and glanced down at her desk. A pile of letters and notes from many different people, mainly notes between her and Draco, were stacked up neatly. He picked them up and rifled through them. "Why do you even keep this shit, Panse?" He asked. "Most of these are from fifth year."

"I don't know." She sighed. "Sentimental values maybe?"

He scoffed and tossed the pile back on down, noticing a name that he hadn't seen earlier. He took another look.

_Lucius Malfoy_

Now that was interesting.

He stuffed the letter into his pocket quickly and without her notice.

"Well, I'm off. We'll talk later yeah?" He asked on his way out.

"Only if you promise to meet me back here afterward?" She cooed.

He grinned. "You've got it."

When he was a safe distance away and out of the eyesight of anyone important, he pulled the letter from his shirt. He was very curious as to what it contained. For starters, it was to Lucius. So something must have gone down for Pansy to write a damn note to the guy. The first part of it was mostly her ramblings and he almost rolled his eyes and stuffed it back in his pocket, but then he saw a name that caught his attention once more.

Hermione Granger.

_I walked in on Draco tonight with Hermione Granger. Of course, I was shocked, who wouldn't be right? I couldn't believe my eyes. But I **saw** them. There was no mistaking it. I'm not sure how this happened. I couldn't possibly wrap my mind around them shagging, but as a close friend, I thought you may want to know what your son has been up to. I know you hold him in high regards and expect the most out of him, as do I. So I know how upset this information must make you. But I had no other options. I had to write you first. I'm worried._

He couldn't contain the maddening smirk that spread like butter across his face.

Was Draco shagging Hermione Granger? Mudblood extraordinaire? Now that was  _definitely_  interesting.

Though it kind of made sense. Draco had been rather testy and sneaky lately. He just hadn't thought much about it considering the bloke was _always_ up to something anyways, but it fit in with him acting odd. The only thing he just didn't understand was how it came about. As far as he knew, Draco still hated mudbloods and blood traitors, so how had he ended up bedding one?

He supposed it didn't matter. This was good news.

He had something that he could use against the blonde later.

Yes, fucking Pansy had resulted in many surprises today.

* * *

 

**Tuesday, September 29, 1998**

Lee Scott looked at the stack of student profiles on his desk and groaned inwardly. Kingsley had put him in charge of recruiting the new members after their failed attempt at catching the werewolf responsible for the murders. The more he looked through all the names, though, he felt himself getting more and more frustrated. How could they really have this few candidates to choose from? Either they were too young, or didn't have any potential. He stared at the mobilized picture of Ronald Weasley. He, of course, was a no go. He'd already promised to help his brother George with his shop. So now that left Potter and Longbottom. Both of which were eager to join the office. Angelina Jonhson had been on the list as well, and while she still wanted to become an Auror, the sudden loss of her mother and sister had a negative effect on her. They knew it wouldn't be easy to train someone who didn't deal with the death of others well.

"What are you looking at?" Came a voice near the front of the room.

Lee looked up to see Nathan Dearborn his new underling staring at him. "Just trying to figure out what we're going to do about new additions. Who's the chap behind you?"

The lean, dark haired man spoke, his voice steady and calm. "Brice Lexington, sir."

"He's one of my men," Nathan added. "So tell me, have we gotten any leads since we last met?"

"Not a one." Lee sighed. "And we are pushing our limits with the few men we have searching."

"We've got Potter coming in soon," Nathan stated, pulling up a chair in front of Lee's oak desk while Brice remained standing.

"Yes, but even he can't take on the tasks of five men."

"True, but we have a good list of students graduating this year. I'm sure a few of them would love the opportunity to join the new task force."

Lee ran a hand over his face. "It's not soon enough." He said. "These attacks have become more frequent, and with many of the Death Eaters still scattered about the country, it's making our job that much more difficult. We don't have enough men left to catch  _them_  and this _new_ threat."

"So?" Nathan picked up the profiles and flipped through them. "We just take them out of school a bit early. We're already doing that with Potter and Longbottom right?"

"That's a bit different," Lee replied, watching Mr. Lexington closely. "We were all witness to their combat skills during the war and they are older than the rest of them."

"So you're not looking for alternatives?"

"What other alternatives _are_ there?"

Nathan threw one of the files on the desk and slid it forward with his finger.

Lee glanced down at the students face. Grey eyes, blonde hair, and that infamous smirk.

Draco Malfoy.

He laughed. "You're joking right?"

Nathan shook his head. "Just look at it will you?"

Lee frowned. There was no way that Draco Malfoy could become an Auror. "Why would you even think he'd be a good candidate?"

"Because he's smart." The man pressed. "I know he doesn't have the best track record, but let's face the facts here. He was a kid, and he did what his father told  him to do. And if you really want to get down deep in it, if it wasn't for him lying about Potter, the war would still be going on, or worse, Potter would be six feet under."

Lee sighed dramatically and rubbed his forehead with his finger. "That's still no reason to recruit him. By that logic, we could recruit any number of Death Eater spawn."

“Yes, well, as I’ve already said, no other Death Eater spawn went against the Dark Lord to help Harry Potter now did they?”

“It’s faulty reasoning-“

"Is it?" Nathan interrupted, his voice remaining cold. "I think it's your reasoning that's questionable." Brice's eyebrows raised at this but the man remained silent. "We are in desperate need of Aurors. We need talented kids who are skilled in _all_ forms of magic. Sure, he isn't my first choice, but we haven't got many options now do we? I say we approach him about it, and if he agrees we'll put him to the test. If you think he's suspicious then we grill him harder than the rest. And if we feel like he’d jeopardize the organization then we ship his arse back to his daddy."

Lee stared down at the smirking face of the young Malfoy. While he didn’t trust the Malfoy’s as far as he could throw them, he had to admit that the younger did have his merits. But would he be beneficial as an Auror? Was he truly rehabilitated? How could they know if he was going to turn on them? In the past, he’d always said once a Death Eater always a Death Eater, but these were different times. Could he be so quick to judge? It was as Nathan had said. The boy had been young when he received the dark mark. He had no idea of the ramifications of such an act. Perhaps Nathan was right. The Malfoy _could_ be useful to the office. He could have interesting input, and if nothing else he would be able to think like a villain and give good insight. "Fine. I agree that he could be used in the Investigation department, so I say we give it a go. But you'll be the one to contact him."

Nathan smiled. "Right, I'll see to it right away." The man got up. "Let's go, Brice."

"Yes, sir." He said, turning and giving Lee a nod. "Nice meeting you."

* * *

 

Luna had been keeping her eye on Hermione. She was smiling again, but of course, that was possibly a ruse. One does not simply recover quickly from a loss like that. It had taken Luna at least, two months to smile after her mum's tragic accident. Though Hermione was much older than Luna had been. She could be dealing with this in a very different manner.

She had a good support system to back her up too. She'd been spending much of her time with herself and Ginny. Ron and Harry had also made sure to keep her busy, helping her study and teaching her how to play poker in the common room. It was hard seeing her so distracted. She would say she was alright but her eyes conveyed suffering.

But it wasn't just Mr. Granger's untimely death that was plaguing her friend. Luna knew the other reason for her behavior. Hermione had confided in her the night after she learned of her father's passing. She'd told how she'd gone to Draco Malfoy when she found out, and what transpired there. She had revealed, in a roundabout way, that she had developed feelings for him.

Luna had already seen the signs of that long ago, but it seemed that Hermione had been genuinely shocked by her new found emotions. She supposed both parties had shoved their feelings away when they surfaced. It was understandable. They had hated each other for nearly a decade. How could she expect them to smile and say, "You know what, screw our past let's elope"? That's not how either of their brains worked.

She sighed and leaned back on the couch, her eyes closing. She hadn't expected it to be this difficult. They should probably just give up this matchmaking idea. Too much had happened.

"Luna?"

She opened her eyes to see his dark chocolate ones looking at her. "Hello, Blaise."

"I got your message." He said. "What do you have for me today?"

She patted the couch cushion next to her and he took a seat. "I think we should stop trying to get them together."

"Really?" He asked slowly. "I thought you wanted to go all out?"

"I did," she replied softly. "But that was before..." she trailed off.

"Yes, it’s certainly changed things hasn’t it?"

"She's still hurting." She admitted. "Perhaps, when she's not struggling with it,  _maybe_  we can try again."

"I don't know how much more Draco can take, though."

"What do you mean?"

"He's been a sodding brooding monster all week. I think he's finally realized he has feelings for her."

"That's good and bad at the same time."

"Why is that?"

Luna sighed. "I haven't been the only one keeping my eyes on Hermione. Ron has too. And by the looks of things, I think he may still love her."

"Well, that's just lovely."

"I am concerned as well. If Ron makes a move, I'm afraid Hermione will choose to be with him. He is a safe choice. She's obviously struggling with herself regarding Malfoy. Her heart isn't ready for that. Ron is familiar. She knows how to deal with him."

"But Draco is dangerous and risky." Blaise finished.

Luna nodded.

"So that's the end then?"

"Who knows for sure." She replied, leaning forward and putting her chin in her hands. She looked at him through the corner of her eyes. "I think destiny is a hard thing to force, and an even harder thing to destroy. If their fates are intertwined, there's no stopping it. This may just be a temporary barrier."

"I sure hope so." He sighed and slouched back. "I'd hate to have to see his bloody face all depressed again. Even his eyes are back to being cold. The only time when I saw a fire in them was when he was around Granger." He thought about how angry he'd been at Pansy. "Or protecting her."

Luna's eyes met his as she sat back up. "Let's just leave the rest to them shall we?"

He nodded. "Sure, sounds good to me." He stood up to leave but turned around, pausing to look at the blonde. "But promise me something, Lovegood."

"Yes?"

"Let's not go back to ignoring each other just because we aren't scheming to get our mate's back together again."

"Are you saying you like my company, Mr. Zabini?"

He grinned. "I wouldn't go that far, but it's definitely not the worst company."

She smiled. "Friends then?"

"Yes," he agreed. "Of course."

Her smile widened and he went on his way. She tucked her hair behind her ear and found herself looking forward to their next encounter.

* * *

 

**Thursday** **, October 1, 1998**

Draco opened the Owl upon seeing the Ministry's symbol across it. His first thoughts weren't good, seeing as how last time it had ended with him in a jail cell for two days awaiting his trial.

He took a deep breath and read the contents, hoping he wasn't getting penalized for something his bastard of a father did. If his jaw could unhinge enough to drop to the floor it would have.

The Ministry wanted him to apply for a job at the Aurors Office.

Had this world gone mad?

"What's wrong, mate?" Blaise asked upon seeing his reaction.

"It's a letter from the ministry."

He seemed interested. "And?"

"They want me to become an  _Auror_."

"Seriously?"

Draco nodded, still adjusting to the shock.

"You going to apply?"

"I doubt it. I mean, can you really see a bloke like me becoming an Auror?" He asked. "Besides, Potter is leaving to become one. I'd like to keep my contact with him to a minimum, thank you very much."

"If you say so."

There was just no way in hell he was going to apply for that job. He didn't care how short staffed they were.

* * *

 

**Sunday, October 4, 1998**

Ron took a deep breath. He'd already had a pep talk from Harry earlier that day. Though Harry was a bit skeptical of the whole situation. Ron didn't blame him. In fact, he wasn't quite sure if this was the right time to be doing it either. But he couldn't put it off any longer. Even if she said no, he could say that he put it out there. She didn't even have to say yes right away. He could wait, as long as it took. He'd give her all the time she needed to grieve, to forgive him, to take everything in.

He just wanted to be there for her. He wanted to take care of her. She needed someone. She'd always been there for all of them. She'd been their rock. Well, now it was their turn. It was his turn to show her how much he cared.

She was eating breakfast, looking down at her plate dismally, when he came to sit next to her. He took her hand in his and was surprised when she didn't flinch away like she had on many occasions before.

"Hermione, I want to talk to you about something."

Luna, Ginny, and Seamus all stopped eating and stared openly at him. He swallowed loudly and tried to ignore their stares.

Hemione just looked at him, fork in hand. "Yes?"

"I understand if you don't agree to this. But I wanted to throw it out there."

"What is it then?" She asked, laying her fork on her plate and giving him all of her attention.

"I still love you Hermione. I know I was a right prat and fucked it all up. I hurt you. I had no right to. But I was scared. So I reacted badly. But I'm not afraid anymore. I love you, I care about you. And I know it's a long shot, but I want to be with you again. I can wait as long as it takes. We can start over from the beginning. We can date like normal couples. No war, no jealousy, and no sodding girls interfering. I know it will be hard for you, but I'll wait. If you give me another chance, I won't screw it up. I promise."

He noticed that her gaze shot somewhere behind him and she was silent for what seemed like ages. All eyes were on them as the clock ticked away. Finally, she took a noticeable breath and looked back to him once more. "You're right. It will take some time for me to trust you. But...I'll give you a second chance..."

"Really?" He asked excitably.

Her eyes seemed a bit sad for a moment but she smiled. "I want to work it out, Ron. So let's try hard together."

He nodded. "I won't let you down."

* * *

 

**Monday, October 5, 1998**

_No_.

No _way_.

There was no  _fucking_  way he was seeing this right.

Weasel's hand was  _not_  intertwined with hers and she was  _not_  smiling about it. He pinched himself to make sure this wasn't some sick joke being played on him. But they were still there, standing in the courtyard holding hands.

He thought he saw her eyes flicker his way and he scowled, turning on his heels and retreating back inside the school. What the bleeding hell was wrong with that woman? Hadn't she ended things because she was going through a hard time?

That he understood.

But crawling back to Weasley? What sense did that make?

Unless she still loved him.

It was possible. Just because he finally saw that he loved her, didn't mean that she loved him back. He'd known all along that it was Weaselbee who had stolen her heart back in third year. But back then he hadn't cared. She was just a good shag. Now she was something else. Something that was slipping out of his grasp.

Why hadn't that blasted red head just kept his bloody nose out of it? He had his chance. He blew it. She was a fool for returning to him. She didn't know what she was doing.

He threw his books down on the desk, startling a studious Blaise in the process. "What the hell mate?"

"Sorry." He muttered angrily.

"What's gotten your pants in a twist?"

"Weasel." He ground out.

"Weasley? What did he do this time?" Blaise asked. "Steal your lunch?"

"No, he's back with Granger."

Blaise's eyes widened and he swiveled around in his chair. "He's what?"

"Not that I care or anything." He added quickly.

"Sure you don't."

He frowned and stared at a groove in the desk like he wanted it to catch on fire. "She wasn't that great in bed anyway."

Hermione hadn't missed the look on Draco's face when he'd come out into the courtyard and seen her hand in Ron's. He'd been surprised, and that surprise had turned into anger as he glared at Ron and returned to the school.

Her heart sank and her hand trembled. She thought it would be a good thing for her to start things over with Ron. But after seeing Malfoy's eyes she didn't know what she wanted anymore.

* * *

 

**Thurday** **, October 8, 1998**

He couldn't get her out of his head. And he fucking hated it. He found himself walking places completely out of his way, just so he could catch a glimpse of her. He felt better when he saw her, but then he'd feel worse if she was with Weasley. The only comfort he felt when he saw them together was the fact that he'd slept with her first. At times, he thought about walking up to the bastard and telling him how great it felt shagging his girlfriend. But that would only result in Hermione hating him and the thought of her hating him made his chest ache. So he refrained from beating the snot out of the ginger and instead went back to his old ways of belittling his lesser mind every chance he could. There were a few times, though, when Hermione wasn't around, that he couldn't help himself and he'd silently hex him. It was quite amusing to watch him fumbling around with a big nose and face full of zits.

But no matter how much he picked on the Weasel the result was still the same. Hermione was still  _his_  girlfriend. Draco had no say in that whatsoever. He also knew it was crazy what he was doing.

He shouldn't have feelings for her. He knew that. But he kept replaying their moments together in his head. He heard her voice in his dreams. He felt her around him even when they weren't in the same room. Was that what it meant to love someone?

Her words rang in his ears. _"You can't help who you fall in love with Malfoy."_

Well she had sure shown him hadn't she _?_

* * *

 

**Friday, October 9, 1998**

Stress; the body's reaction to a change that requires a physical, mental or emotional adjustment or response.

Hermione shut the medical book with a loud sigh. She obviously wasn't dealing with stress well. She had so much going on right now that she didn't even know which way was up anymore. She found herself more times than not, flipping out on Ron for just saying something that irked her. She'd always feel bad about it but she couldn't' control her outbursts. Everything just seemed to irritate her. It was even worse when she thought about Malfoy. She knew she couldn't pursue anything with him. There was no evidence that he'd even want to. Just because she had feelings for him, didn't mean he loved her. He was infatuated yes, but love? It was impossible. So she'd made the right choice. She took the best road to a brighter future.

She just wished her emotions would stop getting in the way of her ambitions.

Godric, she needed a bloody vacation.

* * *

 

**Monday, October 12, 1998**

Why had she agreed to this? It was making her rethink every fucking decision she'd made thus far this semester. Ron had been so sincere that day. She could tell by the look on his face that he loved her still. At the time, she thought it was the perfect opportunity. She needed a way to forget about Malfoy. Bloody ironic considering she'd hooked up with Malfoy to forget about Ron. It didn't make it any less true, though. She needed to keep her mind from wandering to him. If she couldn't stop thinking about his tone chest and sexy smirk she'd go mad. If she wasn't already there.

Like now for example. She was losing her mind because three months ago this situation would have made her stomach fill with a different kind of butterfly. But seeing as how it was the present, her stomach was protesting in a much different way.

"Hermione." Ron's voice was soft as he leaned forward to brush a strand of loose hair out of her face. "You know I love you right?"

They were in her dorm room, having finished yet another project and spending some alone time together. She was finding that "alone time" wasn't as great as she thought it was going to be. Her stomach knotted up. "Yes, I know that."

Why didn't she want him to be so close to her? Was she still holding onto her feelings for Malfoy?

"I'd do anything for you." He continued, his body inching forward.

She knew where this was leading. She'd seen this stance many times in the past. Ron wanted to kiss her. But she found herself questioning if she wanted to be kissed by him. "Ron I-"

He didn't give her a chance to protest and gently pressed his lips to hers.

Her stomach lurched and she couldn't control it anymore. She pushed him away suddenly and made a mad dash for the bathroom, emptying her stomach of the morning's breakfast.

Ron was behind her then, asking her if she was alright.

"I'm...I'm fine, Ron." She said after the retching ceased. "I've just been feeling really bad today. I think I might be getting the flu."

"Want me to get you something for it?" He offered.

She shook her head. "No, I think I'll just go lay down for a bit."

"Alright, I'll check on you later ok?"

"Ok," she agreed. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to get sick on you."

"It's not your fault." He assured her.

But she wasn't entirely sure. Maybe she'd made herself sick from all her anxiety about Ron wanting more out of their relationship than she could give right now. Or maybe it was because of her guilt about sleeping with Malfoy. Whatever the reason, she just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again.

* * *

 

**Tuesday, October 20, 1998**

Draco needed a break.

Between his father's annoying owl's, Blaise's inquires about Granger, Weasel's bullying and the Ministry's odd offer, he'd been feeling a bit overloaded. At least, _Pansy_ hadn't been bothering him. If she had, he would have probably left her with some permanent hex, so he was grateful for the fact that she and Theo had been getting along.

His temperament the last few weeks had steadily deteriorated. What made matters worse, was the fact that it mostly had to do with a damn woman. How had he allowed himself to fall this far? He needed to get back on track.

His thoughts traveled back to the Ministry's letter. If he accepted the opportunity, it would give him a chance to get on with his life, to forget about Granger. It would also prove to be a way to get out from under his father's hold. If he was feeling brave enough to tell him off, that is.

He sighed and looked out the window in the foyer. It was nightfall but he didn't care. He needed to see the sky, feel the wind against his face. He masked himself with a charm and slipped out into the night.

* * *

 

She was suffocating. Even though they were all worried about N.E.W.T.S and studying their arses off, somehow they had all succeeded in making her crazy. Ron especially. He'd been so worried about her. First, it was because of her dad, and now it was because she was sick. If he asked if she was ok one more time she was going to scream. She loved her friends, don't get her wrong, she'd spent two months wishing they would notice her loneliness, but now she just felt like telling them to back off a bit. She needed a little room to _breath_ e.

She only knew of one place where she knew she would be alone. She had to leave the school, and it was night, but when had that ever stopped her.

She sat down beneath the oak tree overlooking the pitch. She used to come watch Ron from here on hot days. The stands were out in the open. It was shaded here and it was a perfect place for her to read and catch up on her studies. She'd forgotten how it felt to sit here, the only thing on her worried mind had been passing her next class.

Now her troubles were a bit more complicated. She rubbed the scar on her arm, his words from that night haunting her.

_Does it still hurt?_

Why did he have to be so gentle? If he would have acted like he had every time before she wouldn't be in this mess. If he had just been his snarky, egotistical, self then maybe she wouldn't be thinking about him. Maybe she wouldn't keep replaying that night, replaying his hands on her body, his lips on her skin. Maybe she wouldn't keep seeing those beautiful gray eyes burning deep into her soul.

This wasn't right. She shouldn't love him. They were far too different. He was the same boy she grew up hating. So what if he wasn't as prejudiced as he used to be? That didn’t negate the darkness that was still in him. She could see it, when he'd confronted Pansy and when he'd handled Ron. She knew there was something in him that was dangerous, but it was like it didn't matter. She had seen all the good in him, just underneath the surface. She could see that scared lost boy, trying to dig his way out of a grave. She could see he wanted to do the right things, to be a better person. She wished she hadn’t seen any of that. Then she could go on pretending he was the foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach that he’d always been. But as things stood now, she just wanted to see that lopsided smirk he wore when he was being mischievous. She wanted to hear his chuckle when she said something witty. She wanted to feel his tone arms wrap around her waist. She wanted  _him_.

She buried her head in her arms.

This wasn't fair to Ron.

He thought she still loved him. And a part of her did. She cared deeply for the red head. But he'd hurt her so many times. And perhaps she would be more forgiving if she hadn't stumbled upon Draco.

Hot tears stained her sleeves. She was torn and there was nothing she could do. She'd made her decision. To be with Ron. It was the logical choice. She was in love with him once, she could fall in love with him again.

A low cough brought her out of her thoughts and she looked up, the gray eyes she'd been so desperate to see shining in the moonlight.

"What are you doing out here, Granger?" He asked. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Shouldn't you?" She replied, rubbing her eyes.

He noticed her action and frowned. "Are you  _crying_?"

"Of course not."

"You're a horrible liar." He said, squatting down in front of her.

Him being here, being so close, made her heart beat wildly. Why did he have to show up now? Why did he insist on making her falter? Another tear escaped before she could stop it.

His eyes narrowed. "What did he do? If he went off and-"

"Ron didn't do anything." She sighed, knowing all to well that he would jump on anything related to Ron. "It's me that's the problem."

"Thinking too much again, are we?" He asked.

"Something like that."

He offered her a hand and helped her up. "You know, we haven't really talked...since that night."

"That was the point." She said, quickly releasing his hand.

"That's not quite the answer I was looking for." He sighed. "For some reason, I believed you to be better than that."

His words stung and she frowned. "Well, sorry to disappoint you."

"Can't we just talk about what happened?" His tone became more serious as he took a step forward. "You ignoring the situation just pisses me off. You never really explained anything to me."

She suddenly much too felt hot, and much too close to him. "There's nothing more to explain." She said, turning and walking away. "I left you a note so you'd understand."

He didn't let her get far. He was right behind her as she walked back up the hill towards the school. "The bloody note? Yes, it explained _so_ much." He replied sarcastically. "I assumed you needed space. It was tragic, what happened. I got that. I still do. So I backed off. But then you go off and hook up with  _Weasley_?" He asked, his voice bitter. "Pardon me for not understanding  _that_."

"Malfoy, I don't want to have this conversation." She replied, her strides quickening to the pace of her heart.

He grabbed her hand and made her stop to look at him. "Well, that's too bloody bad, because I do and I think you, at least, owe me an explanation."

"I don't have one! Ok?" She cried, her hand jerking from his hold. " I can't," she paused. "I can't explain it and how can you expect me to just open up to you when I don't even know what you're bloody thinking half the time?"

"So you want to know what I think?"

"Yes." She spoke quickly. "No. Maybe. I don't know." She threw her hands up in the air in surrender.

"Wel,l I want you to know what I think." He said, moving closer. "I think I got so wrapped up in my own manipulative game that I didn't realize what was happening right in front of me." He leaned forward. "I think while I was busy trying to get under your skin," His hand came out and tucked a piece of her loose hair behind her ear. "You  went and got under mine."

Her breath left her chest. "What does that even mean?"

"It means..." His lips were so close to hers now. "I’ve fallen for you, Hermione. Despite my best efforts not to."

"Stop." She said, putting a finger between their mouths. "Don't say any more."

"Why?" He growled angrily. "Are you scared? Are you afraid of finding out that the feelings I harbor are more than you can handle? Or are you just frightened by the aspect of you caring for me back?"

"I don't!" She snapped, suddenly realizing how loud she was and added more quietly. " I don't care about you like that."

"That's another fucking lie." He groaned. "Stop running away from the truth. You have feelings for me."

"Why are you doing this to me?" She shook her head and ran her hands up and down her arms as if she was cold. It was the only thing she could think of to keep them busy. If she left them alone she was afraid they would reach out to him. "Just when I've made up my mind about everything, you crash in and destroy my resolve."

"It wasn't my intention."

"Draco, what are you even trying to accomplish by pursuing me?" She looked to the ground. " _You_ started this whole thing. It was _your_ idea to keep it strictly platonic. So why are you so upset that I ended it? It just doesn't make sense." Unless he loved her but she couldn't think about that now.

"That's what I'm trying to bloody tell you, Hermione." He half shouted, his hands grabbing the outside of her arms as if to get the message into her. "If you'd just be quiet long enough to actually hear me."

She scowled but he ignored it. "I know it was my idea, that this whole sodding mess is my fault, but I'm trying to make it right. I care about you damn it! I care about what happens with you, and how you feel. And I know you sure as hell care about me if throwing out my fucking fire whiskey and demanding I come to you instead is any indication. You're just too bloody stubborn to admit it. At least, I'm being honest with myself. You did something to me, Hermione. Even before the sodding war, you were a catalyst in changing the way I see the world. You made me see past the prejudice and all this pain and see that I don’t have to live a half life anymore. I’ve been torturing myself all this time, but when I’m with you, I feel like I can be redeemed. I feel like maybe I can someday be worthy of forgiveness. So while you may be able to walk away from me without losing a part of yourself, I can’t. I’m not willing to let you just walk out of my life."

She was quiet for a moment longer, chewing on her lip. "It's not really up to you." She said in the silence between them. "You may not see the bigger picture right now, but I do. I know when to stop. If this goes any further there will be consequences."

"I know that."

"Then you know why I can't."

"Hermione."

"Draco, please." She whispered, tears reappearing in her eyes. "It'll be better for both of us if we end this here."

She watched as his eyes searched hers before his fingers loosened from her arms. "If that's what you believe."

"It's not just what I believe, it's the truth. Nothing good could come from this."

"Nothing?" He sighed and stepped away from her. "You're right. How stupid of me. Weasel certainly is the better choice. I can't argue there." He spat sarcastically.

"It's not like I planned us getting back together!"

"Maybe not, but you didn't turn him down, now did you?"

"I had to do something to keep my mind off of you!" She yelled trying not to shove him. "You...you say I’ve given you something to live for, but you? You have _taken_ _everything_ from me. You're _all_ I think about. I lost my  _dad_  and here I am crying over  _you_! Don't you see something terribly wrong about that?"

"I'm sure there are much worse things you could do."

"You just won't back off will you?"

"Not likely."

"Even though you know what will happen?" She asked, clutching her stomach. It had begun to hurt again. "Even though your family, your friends, my friends will all hate it? Hate us? Won't it damage your status? Won't you lose so much?"

"I can cross that bridge when I come to it." He stated matter-of-factly. "Right now, I just have one thing on my mind. One thing that takes the pain away. _You_."

"But that's the present, Draco. You're going after something you want right now. Something you will probably regret and change your mind about later. Your feelings may not even be real. Maybe I’m just the first person that looked passed your faults. I won’t be the last. You're not thinking about your future at all."

"Yes, I am!" He replied. "I’m not projecting here. I’ve thought about my future a lot, and I've come to the conclusion that a future without you in it," He stroked her cheek. "Would be an unbearable one." Tears flowed freely down her face now and he wiped them away. "I'm _here_. I'm right here in front of you. I want to _be_ with you. Why can't you see that?"

"Because I’m thinking about what will happen to you. I’m thinking about what will happen to me. I’m thinking about all the things that could possibly go wrong and see that my selfishness isn’t worth any of them. I can’t see past all of that because I'm  _terrified_  of making the wrong choice and ruining both of our lives." She admitted sadly, fleeing the scene before he could respond. She didn't want to bear witness to his reaction and her insides were churning, so she ran to the school quickly, leaving him behind in the darkness.

**Chapter Revised**

 


	16. Surprise Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco gets a surprise visitor and Luna opens Hermione's eyes to something she's not expecting.

**Wednesday, October 21, 1998**

Blaise was startled awake by a loud bang. He jumped up from his bed ready for a fight but saw instantly what was making all the ruckus.

Draco had slammed the door shut and was now unbuttoning his shirt in a hurried fashion as he made his way to his bed.

"You alright?" He asked, sleepily.

Draco turned and threw his shirt to the ground before slumping down on his bed. "No, not really."

"Want to talk about it?"

Draco's gaze drifted to Theo, who was rolling over, having woken to the door slamming as well. After Theo’s soft snores resumed he spoke again. "I'm going to take the ministry's offer."

"Why?"

"I want to get away from here...from her."

"Well, I will support you if that's what you want."

"It is." He said, his eyes seething. "I want to show her she was wrong."

He didn't have to ask who  _she_  was.

"Maybe if I do this, I can get past this whole bloody mess I've made."

Blaise wanted to tell him that he couldn't hide from his past but chose to remain silent. He could tell his friend was angry and somewhat disheartened. He could hear it in his voice. There was only one explanation for that. He'd seen Granger and things hadn't gone well.

For a moment, he wanted to know what it was like inside those heads of theirs. What could be so damn complicated in there? What had malfunctioned inside their brains that had them acting like bloody preschoolers? Couldn't they see that they were perfect for each other? Hell, even _he_ could see it. _Luna_ could see it. Why did they have to keep playing these games? Sure, Granger was with Weasley again, but that relationship had ended once before. Who was to say it wouldn't blow up in their faces again?

Now, Blaise didn't know Granger on a personal level, but he could assume her actions towards this situation were probably based on fear of an unknown future. That much he could guess just from his past encounters with the brunette. And while he respected a well functioning future plan, he couldn't respect her running away from her problems.

He was just looking after his best mate. He had nothing against her. He just couldn't get over the look on Draco's face as he sat there, taking deep breaths. He could tell he wanted to rip the place apart but he was keeping himself calm. It reminded Blaise of the old Draco. The one that kept his emotions hidden and in check. That kind of scared him. He liked knowing what kind of mood he was in. It helped him understand what was going on. If he started bottling up his feelings and acting like he didn't give a flying fuck again, then it was going to be even harder to help him.

He yawned and laid back down. At least, Draco was thinking about taking the job. That was a good sign. It was a good way to get out of his father's shadow and help him get on the right track. So at least, there was a little bit of good that had come out of this madness.

* * *

 

**Thursday, October 22, 1998**

It was her free period though there was nothing free feeling about it. She had been slacking in the studying department so she'd been spending the last two hours making up for that. It was the perfect distraction from her current thoughts. It felt somewhat normal with her nose in a book and her brain working through problems not associated with her choice of lover. It comforted her in a much different way than her friends could. Books couldn't be overbearing or smothering or sympathetic or just plain irritating. They were just full of knowledge and strength that she wanted to take for herself. She needed that stability in her life again.

She didn't want to have another break down like she'd had last night after her spontaneous confrontation with Malfoy. She'd thought she'd been prepared for it. She'd already made up her mind, but saying it out loud had been shocking. Even though he was the one she left standing alone in the dark, it was her that had come back to her dorm room and cried herself to sleep.

She was a wretched excuse for a human being. She wasn't only hurting herself, but she was hurting Malfoy and Ron as well, although the latter wasn't even aware of it yet. Luna had even told her off this morning. In a nice way of course. She'd said if she even thought she was could love Draco that she should end things with Ron. Even if she didn't want to be with Draco either. That way Ron wasn't getting his heart stepped on for no reason. She understood that. She knew it was what she  _should_  do. But she couldn't seem to take that step. She could still see a future with Ron.

Blast. She was supposed to be doing homework.  _Stop with your bloody emotions, Hermione. They are just going to make you fail all your classes._ She thought before taking a furious breath and declaring that the rest of the day would be spent studying.

* * *

 

**Friday, October 23, 1998**

Lucius was enjoying a quiet evening dinner with his wife when he received his son's owl. He hadn't expected one, so he was quite taken back by the sudden response. Draco was beginning to rebel against him, but he would soon find out that it wasn't wise to do so.

Narcissa was in mid bite when the owl came swooping in from the front room. She swallowed quickly. "Is it from Draco?" she asked, her interest peaked. "What does it say?"

Lucius held up a hand to silence her as he read the letter to himself. The further he read, the bigger his smile became. "Oh, my son." He laughed quietly. "You think you've outsmarted your old man?"

"What's going on?" Narcissa asked again.

"Draco thinks he's being sly. He was offered a job in the Auror Office by the Ministry. He thinks by accepting it he will no longer be under my authority, but he's quite mistaken."

"Why is that?"

"Haven't you been listening, my dear? I  _want_  him to work for the ministry."

"Are you still going through with your plans?"

"Of course, why should I quit when it's already going so well?" He asked. How could she be so naive?

Her eyes fell to the table. "You'll ruin him." She said quietly.

"I'm going to make him  _better_ ," Lucius replied vigorously. "He'll be ruling over all of us. Don't you want what's best for our son? This will be his opportunity to rise to the top. He's going to live up to his name."

"I'm afraid, Lucius. I'm afraid of what you've become and what you're turning our son into."

"Don't dishonor me with fear, Narcissa. " He said coldly. "Stand by my side as the proud woman I know you to be. Be proud that your son will be a part of something great. He will help lead us to a new age. "

She was quite a moment before she responded. "What if it's not what you imagined?"

"I hope it's not." He replied and when she looked confused he continued with a smile. "It will be  _greater_  than I imagined."

She didn't know what to think as she returned her attention to the meal in front of her. She had once thought they could start over and try to rebuild their lives to the state in which they once were. That would have been the smart thing to do. They were still purebloods, they were still in a near nobility standing with most of the Wizarding World but if her husband kept this up, he'd ruin their names for good.

She couldn't do anything about it, though. What Lucius wanted, Lucius got. End of story. She raised the fork with a shaky hand and took a bite. The only thing she cared about now. was keeping the darkness that consumed her husband from consuming their only son.

Luna couldn't help but notice hat Hermione was getting sick much too frequently in the past few weeks. It mostly happened after meals and while in the presence of food, or on many occasions, when she talked about Ron and Draco.

She'd been sleeping a lot as well and had complained of cramping a few times.

If these were any indication, she might be dealing with a far bigger problem than which wizard she loved more.

Luna sighed. Hermione had been going through so much she probably wasn't even aware that there was something else going on inside of her. Poor thing.

Now came the hard part.

Getting her alone long enough to test out her theory. And having her in the right state of mind to ask her about it.

She looked across the table and shook her head.

Too bad Hermione hadn't been in the right state of mind for weeks.

Men. Pah. They had driven a perfectly sane witch into a hormonal basket case.

That was it. Luna was  _not_  getting involved with men. They caused way to many problems.

Her thoughts drifted to Blaise.

Well...He didn't cause any problems.

In fact, he'd been rather informative and helpful in their plans.

He was kind to her and she could see that his face was sincere.

He was a Slytherin and a Pureblood but she'd seen him read more Muggle books than anything else.

He was rather handsome too.

Not that she looked or anything.

She just thought he was a good person.

So she supposed that meant he was the exception to her previous declaration.

Yes, she was going to stay clear of all men, except Blaise Zabini.

* * *

 

**Saturday, October 24, 1998**

**Hogsmeade**

Hermione smiled to herself. She was feeling pretty good today. It was Hogsmeade weekend and she was going to spend it with Harry, Ginny, Ron, Luna, and Seamus. It was going to be like summer all over again. Which was fine with her. The last couple months had been a bit crazy. She was ready for something fun to happen. Something that would keep her from thinking about that blonde headed git that made her love him.

They had already eaten lunch and were on their way to say hello to Aberforth when she heard a cough to her left. No one else seemed to notice but she stopped and looked around. That's when she saw him. He was standing in between two buildings and he was reaching for her. Before she could even mutter a word he'd snagged her and pulled her into the tiny space.

He pressed himself against her and she lost her breath for a moment. It had been so long since she'd been this close to the man, and even longer since he'd acted in such a manner. When she found her voice she asked, "What are you  _doing_ , Draco?"

"I needed to talk to you."

"Why? So you can confuse me even more?"

"No," He snapped. "Just shut up for a second." He looked around to make sure no one had noticed his kidnapping attempt.

"Why should I-"

He put his finger to her lips to silence her and looked into her eyes, his voice barely above a whisper."I'm leaving, Hermione."

"Leaving?" She asked when his hand withdrew from her face. "Where? Why?"

"It seems the Ministry is in dire need of Magical Law Enforcement Agents. They’ve asked me to become an Auror."

An Auror? Draco an Auror? That was laughable. Well, perhaps not. He  _was_  quite intelligent and had combat experience. But why would they choose him? And better yet, why the hell would he accept? "Why are you telling me this?"

"I thought you should know that I wouldn't be back next semester."

The thought of him leaving left a rather unpleasant feeling inside of her but she remained stony-faced as she said, "It's...It's a good opportunity."

He nodded, giving her a look of contemplation."But how do you feel about that?"

What was she supposed to say? Please don’t go. Stay here with me? "I don't know...happy for you?" She lied.

His eyes fell. "I knew you'd say that."

"Then why the hell did you ask?"

"I wanted to hear it from your own mouth." He said. "That it changes nothing. That there can be absolutely nothing between us. I needed to know that you've made your choice and that it isn't me.” His eyes bore into hers as he spoke, his slender figures burying themselves in her jacket. “I needed to hear that." His voice shook. "So that I could move on."

Her chest tightened. "Draco."

"I get it, Hermione." He said quietly. "Nothing I say is going to change your mind. So I'm going back to how it was. When I see you, I won't let my eyes linger on yours. If we have to talk it will be how it used to be, and when I think of you, I won't let my emotions take over. We’ll be strangers again. I'm going to give you want and let you live your life how you've envisioned it. Void of me."

"I never said-"

"Then what? Are you willing to go back and tell Ronnikins that's it's over between you two? Are you willing to admit that you were wrong about us? Because if the answer to either of those is no, then you are wasting my time." He ground out.

"It's not that I don't want to be with you." She found herself saying. "Would you look at me right now? I'm shaking." Her voice was low but she knew he could hear her. "When I'm with you I feel like I'm going crazy but it feels so right at the same time. It's not about not wanting you, Draco. I want you. I do. Every second of every bloody day. But then my brain takes over and tells me it's impossible. You have a status to uphold. Your father is out of Azkaban, and while he may not have as much social standing as he used to, I know there are still families loyal to his cause. You are a Malfoy. It's so much more than a name isn't it? To be a Malfoy is to uphold Pureblood traditions. Your father has said something similar on many occasions. You can't just throw that all away. Even if you wanted to, which I know you don't, he wouldn't allow it."

"Do you think I give a shit about what my father says?"

"Yes. And you are lying your arse off if you say you don't." She replied firmly. "How many times have you drank yourself into a stupor because of him? He still has a hold over you, Draco. And that's understandable. He's your  _father_. He raised you and has certain expectations of you. Being with a Mudblood isn't one of them."

He frowned. "Don't call yourself that."

"Why not?" She asked, her voice raising an octave. "It's what he would call me. It's what your family would call me. You can _say_ you want to be with me all you want, but when all is said and done, he's the one calling the shots. So don't try to tell me we can cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm not a bloody fool, and neither are you. We went into this with "no strings attached" for a reason. Emotions were too risky, and yet _here we are_." She was trying very hard not to break down. She was thankful that her anger was helping keep other emotions in check. She had always hated crying and she seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. "Why is that, Draco? Why did we do this to ourselves?"

"It was an accident." He told her. "Do you think I planned on this happening? That I planned on craving your presence?" He asked, his eyes hard. "I assure you, it was not what I had in mind when I offered my assistance for your little "Ron" problem. It was all about how bloody brilliant you were in bed.  _I wanted to fuck you._  You were intoxicating, forbidden, and it got me off. It started out about sex, but somehow that twisted into something different. I really don't know why, or when things changed. It makes my head hurt even trying to figure out how it happened."

"It gets my head spinning too." Hermione sighed. "Clearly we were both barking mad. What the hell possessed to us to keep going? We should have ended it with that one night stand." She turned her head but he forced her to look at him.

"Why would you say that?" He questioned. Why did he have to look at her like that?

 _Stop looking at me. Please. I don't want to feel like this anymore._ "I don't know..."

"Well, I don't regret what we did. We had a good time. We forgot our troubles when we were together. Those moments we shared were happy ones..." He ran his hands through her hair and let out a frustrated sigh. "Shit, just tell me I'm wrong. Tell me you weren't happy." His hands now rested on her face. "Make this easier for me, please."

She could see the pain behind his long lashes and gray pools. Pain that she was inflicting upon him. Why was she hurting everyone lately? Was she really that selfish and stubborn? Yes, she was.

They both stared at each other, neither knowing quite what to say and both feeling the rising tension between them.

Her insides squirmed as she felt the familiar sensation in her lower abdomen. Without fully realizing what she was doing she moved forward, leaned up on her toes and kissed him. Her heart had just sent a message to her overactive brain.  _Mind your own fuckin business._

Her hands moved to rest on the back of his neck and his arms dropped and enclosed around her as he deepened their kiss. Oh, Merlin, how she missed this. She inhaled his scent as her lips moved against his. He was pressing her back into the side of the building and she couldn't help but feel complete in this moment. His hands were searching her body and she moaned at the contact. Yes, it was his touch she craved but they couldn't get so carried away. It could be disastrous. She broke their kiss as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. "I was happy." She said, holding his face in her hands. "I was always happy when I was with you."

"Why couldn't you just tell me you fucking hate me or something?" He sighed, taking her hand from his face and kissing it. "You're too cruel. Why are you making this so hard on me? I think that blasted sorting hat put you in the wrong house. You're acting far too Slytherin like."

She was about to respond when a voice rang out in the distance. "Where did you go, Hermione!"

Their eyes ventured to the street and Hermione whispered, "Ron."

She looked back to Draco, expecting him to get angry and curse. But she was met, instead, by understanding eyes as he nodded. "Just go. We both knew the outcome would be the same, regardless of what just happened." He smiled then and released her hand.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said as she ran out into the street.

Ron caught sight of her right away and she watched him smile and shake his head. "There you are. I was wondering where you'd run off to." She hugged him, feeling a bit uneasy doing so as he wrapped his arms around her. "Where did you go?"

She didn't have time to respond before Ron's eyes looked behind her. She heard a faint cough and knew he had spotted Draco exiting the mouth of the alley where she'd just come from. "Wait, was that  _Malfoy_?"

She didn't even turn her head to look. "Yes." She answered quickly. "I was talking to him just now."

Ron's face was tinged with pink as he took a step past her. "No one just  _talks_  with that ferret. He was harassing you wasn't he?"

"He was just asking a question, Ron. We are partners in Potions." She replied grabbing a hold of his sleeve and stopping his progression towards Draco's retreating back. He looked back to her and she forced a smile. "Honestly, Ron. He was actually nice to me for once. Though it was probably because I wouldn't answer him otherwise."

He seemed to take the bait and shrugged. "Makes sense I guess." He said taking her hand and walking up the street. "Come on, we have to meet back up with Harry. He was off looking for Luna. She disappeared around the same time you did. We all thought you'd be together...but seeing as how you were kindly helping the former  _Death Eater," T_ he way he said it made her anger rise but she remained quiet. "She must have gone somewhere else."

She thought about this for a moment. Had Luna gone off by herself too? She wondered what kind of trouble her friend was in. Knowing Luna she was conversing with some third years about how important it was to clean out your ears. Godric knew what the nargles would do if they weren't clean. She smirked. She really loved Luna.

* * *

 

Blaise had lost Draco somewhere between The Three Broomsticks and Sprintwitches. It hadn't surprised him. As soon as they arrived in the cozy little town he'd known Draco had ulterior motives for visiting. Blaise had seen just who was standing inside Honeydukes as they passed by earlier.

He had no doubt that Draco had found his target and had stolen her away, probably to tell her of his job offer.

Speaking of targets.

He spotted Luna Lovegood a few feet ahead of him, wearing a pink and purple knitted cap that matched her jumper. She looked kind of cute in it actually.

Whoa. Hold up. He didn't just think Luna was cute did he?

Well, so what if he did? She _was_ cute. With her long blonde hair and blue eyes, those eyes that took everything in, yet stayed so pure and innocent. She looked over her shoulder, as if she knew he was standing there, and smiled.

He smiled in return and raised a hand to wave at her. He was stunned a bit when she turned on her heels and headed his way, leaving her friends to continue on their way without her.

"Blaise, it's nice to see you."

"Yes, it's nice to see you too. Are you having a good time?" He replied lamely. What was with him today? Couldn't he even make normal conversation? Geeze.

"Yes, I am actually. I just came from Dogweed and Deathcap."

He knew that to be the Herbology shop though he'd never set foot in the place himself. "Did you find anything interesting?"

"Well, I found all the ingredients I need, which is astonishing really. I didn't know they would have a supply of Hammermint leaves. So I'd say it was pretty interesting."

"What exactly do you need ingredients for?" He asked, curious. "Mixing up a potion are you?"

"Not a potion exactly. It's from my mother's recipe book. It's an herbal tea with medicinal purposes that I wanted to use. She was always experimenting. She got really good at finding home remedies."

"You're mother liked experimenting?"

"Yes, unfortunately, her hobby lead to her passing, but it's better to die doing something you love I always say." She sad matter of factly.

"That somehow seems...right I suppose." He replied slowly. "I wouldn't mind dying while reading a good book."

She smiled and grabbed his hand. "Come on, I want to show you something."

"Where are we going?"

"You like Shakespeare right?"

Wait. How had she known that? He hadn't said a word about admiring the muggle author. "Yes, but how-"

"I saw you reading MacBeth in the library a while back when you were in the muggle studies section.You also had it with you on multiple occasions when we met up."

"I forgot how talented you are at stalking." He smirked.

"I wouldn't say it was stalking." She said a bit frantically.

"It was a joke, love." He laughed. "Only a joke."

Her smile returned. "Oh, I see."

He continued following her but didn’t recognize the shops around them."Where exactly are we going?"

"They've added a few new shops at the end of town. There is one I know you’ll appriciate."

"Oh really?" He asked watching her blonde locks bouncing as she hurried in front of him, his hand still planting in her warm ones.

"Yes, it's quite fascinating."

"What kind of store is it?"

She looked behind her and grinned. "A bookstore."

They halted in front of the small establishment and his eyes widened. It was so rustic looking, yet the front window displayed many books from known wizard authors and muggle authors alike. He could only imagine what the inside looked like.

"I thought you'd like it," Luna said triumphantly.

He looked over at her, admiration in his eyes. "Like it? I love it. The library at school is great but there's just something about bookstores, you know?"

"I'm glad I bumped into you then." She opened the door and they stepped inside. It smelled like leather, vanilla, old scrolls, and newly pressed parchment. It was a wonderful, and familiar smell that reminded him of home. His hand ran along the many books lining the first shelf and he found himself grinning.

"Luna this place is amazing." He said, walking close behind her. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"It was nothing." She replied, stopping to pick up a book.

He came to stand behind her, his chest just a few centimeters from her back. "No, I mean it. Thank you."

She turned around and he could see the faint blush on her cheeks as she smiled. "You're welcome. I didn't think you would like it _this_ much, to be honest."

"Well, it could have something to do with my present company." He said with a smirk.

"Are you flirting with me?" She asked bluntly, her eyes unblinking.

He couldn't contain the small chuckle that came out of his mouth but he nodded. "A bit, yes. Does it bother you?"

She looked up at him and shook her head. "No, I find it rather nice."

"I'm glad to hear it." He told her. In fact, he was very glad to hear it. Because he had no intentions of stopping.

He'd made up his mind. Luna was definitely cute and he wanted to spend a bit more time with her, in the not so "let's just hang out" kind of way.

* * *

 

Draco shoved his hands as far in his trouser pockets as he could. If he didn't do something with them they'd just end up pulling his hair out. He'd just had the most dissatisfying conversation of his life. Though he knew everything she'd said was the truth it didn't mean it didn't hurt. What was that muggle saying again? Oh yes, the truth stings or something like that.

He stalked down an alley, wanting to be out of sight from the crowd of Hogwarts students, and mostly so he wouldn't have to run into Ronald  _fucking_  Weasley. He'd made eye contact with the git as he'd come out of the little nook in the wall. It was funny, really, that the Weasel had looked at him like that. He seemed like he wanted to punch him in the face. The best part about it was that he kind of deserved to be punched in the face. He had slept with the Weasel's girlfriend and had just been snogging the hell out of her moments before. Not that the bloody idiot knew that, but still. It was sort of funny.

It could just be his mind telling him to laugh. Salazar knew he really wanted to cry right now. Okay, maybe not cry. Even he wouldn't go that far. But he wanted to, at least, throw something and take a shot of Firewhiskey.

Yes. That sounded like a wonderful idea. And with that thought in mind, he quickened his pace. He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible.

He was withing seven yards of the next street when he heard someone behind him. "Hello Lit'le Malfoy."

Draco stiffened. There was no mistaking that voice. He turned around slowly, trying to hide his surprise. "Greyback." He spoke with a heavy drawl and folded his arms across his chest. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood." He grinned menacingly, unaffected by Draco's tone. "Thought I'd drop in."

If he knew anything about the werewolf, and unfortunately he did, it was that he didn't just "drop in" anywhere. "I thought you fled the country with your tail between your legs?"

"Where'd ya here that from?" He asked coming closer. "Your Daddy?” Draco flinched. "Well, he was mis'nformed." He grinned. "Actually, I'm here on business."

"Business?" He asked. "What business could the likes of you have here?"

Greyback's eyes flashed but he kept his composure. "I've come to talk to ya on the behalf of a mutual friend of ours. Does the name  _Aldamar_  ring any bells?"

"Bastien?" He couldn't hide the shock from his voice. He couldn't possibly mean the same git he knew. The one who'd been plaguing his dreams of late. "I didn't even know he was still alive. What would he want with me?"

"Hmmm….that's a good question." He sniffed the air and seemed to forget about what he was telling him. "Say, I know that smell."

Draco looked confused. "What smell?"

Greyback leaned forward sniffing his shirt. "It's that  _mudblood girl from before._ " Draco's heart leaped into his throat but he remained still as the werewolf continued,"Her scent is all over you." He inhaled deeply. "Have you been intimate with her?"

"N..no." Draco sputtered stepping backward to get away from him. "I would never lay one  _finger_  on that filthy mudblood!" He tried to ignore the bitter taste the word left in his mouth. It sounded so appalling coming from his lips. How had he ever called Granger that before? "I had a run in with her and the golden trio earlier."

"Your shirt tells a different story. " His eyes gleamed

"Well, perhaps your nose isn't as great as you think it is." He retorted. "And honestly, I'm quite offended."

"My apologies," Greyback smirked. "I just get worked up when I'm near such a wonderful smell. Of course, someone like you would never consider fuckin a mudblood. No matter how good they smell."

He wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Yes, well if you are finished here, I suggest you leave before someone spots you. You're wanted you know."

"I can take care of myself." He replied. "And I won't be leaving until I do what I came to do."

"What's that?"

He reached into his tattered cloak and handed Draco a letter. "Aldamar wanted you to get this. Read it and then get rid of all the evidence."

"What is this about?"

"He's recruiting you."

He could feel the color drain from his face. Was this what his father had been talking about?

Draco looked at the brown parchment and scowled. "Yes, well I'm afraid I'm not willing to be anyone's puppet." He snorted. "So you can tell Bastien that I must decline. Whatever he's doing, I'm not interested."

Greyback shook his head. "He won't take no for an answer."

"He'll just have to bloody get over that." Draco spat.

"I see that you won't be swayed easily." He sniffed the air again as if he was on to something, but quickly turned his attention back to Draco. "That'll change. I'll be seeing you later, Little Malfoy."

"Not too soon I hope." He muttered.

After the werewolf disappeared he let out a shaky breath. It had taken a lot of quick thinking to keep his attention off of Hermione. He couldn't risk her being dragged into whatever this was. Greyback coming here, so out in the open wasn't a good sign.

Bastien had gone to great lengths to get his attention. So whatever he had in mind couldn't be good. And there was no doubt that his bastard of a father was involved. After all, he was the one who said Draco would receive a visitor. It didn't look very promising. They were plotting something. He just hoped that the bastard would leave him the hell out of it.

* * *

Theo pressed himself as close to the wall as possible.

He hadn't just seen that right had he?

He'd thought the werewolf had died in the battle? Obviously, he'd been wrong. But what was he doing here? And why the hell was he talking to Draco?

Could his friend be plotting something? If so, was the mudblood involved somehow, or was she just a good fuck on the side? Either way, he knew she was important. Whatever Draco had going on, Theo wanted in, or at least, he wanted to know what was going on.

He knew the bloke wouldn't just tell him outright. He didn't trust anyone. Except maybe Blaise.

That hadn't escaped his notice either. Especially when Draco had come home one night and told Blaise he was going to take a job offer and forget  _her_. He assumed the _her_ in question was Granger.

Just what exactly was so great about that know-it-all?

He heard Draco sigh and moved quickly, not wanting to be seen. There was much more going on than he originally, though, much more than he could possibly imagine. It was a good thing then, that he had plenty of time to investigate the matter himself.

* * *

 

**Thurday, October 29, 1998**

Hermione was miserable. She just couldn't control her nerves lately. Every time she was with Ron she felt guilty and when she'd see Draco, by chance or on purpose, her heart ached. She couldn't keep doing this to herself or to them. It wasn't fair. She didn't know why her heart wouldn't just listen to her brain. Ron loved her. Ron could take care of her. Ron was the right choice.

But her heart refused to give in so easily. It had proven that in Hogsmeade the week before. The more she tried to forget, the more she seemed to get sucked into the downward spiral.

So now here she was, sitting on Luna's bed, contemplating running away to America. Though it wasn't what a Gryffindor would normally do, she found it quite tempting. She leaned back against the headboard and sighed. Her head was throbbing and her stomach groaned.

_Oh Godric...when will I get over this sodding sickness. Stressing out will do nothing._

Luna looked over at her and shook her head. "You alright, Hermione?" She asked quietly.

"Excellent. My heart, my brain, and my stomach are just warring with each other right now." She replied, bringing her knees to her chest.

"What you're going through isn't easy." She placed a hand on her knee. "You are struggling with the love you have for them."

"I know that." She replied solemnly.  _I'm in love with the one I can't have._  "But I've already made my choice. I guess it's come down to my resolve. I'm just scared. What if I won't ever be able to forget him? What happens then?"

"You may not be able to forget him, Hermione. But even so, you have to make your own decisions, and then learn to live with them." She said. "And you can't string them around like puppets. They deserve better than that."

"You're right. You're always right." She said with a sad smile. "How did you become my counselor anyways?" She asked with a tiny hint of laughter.

"I don't know." She shrugged, getting up. "But I don't mind it. I really like to help. We've gotten much closer this year." She picked up her bag off the floor and rummaged through it. "And I'm really happy about it. I'm glad we are friends."

Hermione smiled, a feeling of warmth passing through her. She felt the same way. "I'm glad we are friends too, Luna. I honestly don't know what I would Have done this year without you."

The blonde just smiled again and pulled a sandwich out of her bag. She gave Hermione a look she couldn't quite place as she asked, "Do you want anything to eat?"

Hermione took one look at the food in Luna's hand and nausea swept over her.

 _Again_.

"Oh god!" she exclaimed, rushing into the loo.

She retched until there was nothing left, but she still felt horrible. She wiped her mouth with a piece of toilet paper and leaned against the wall. "Well, I'm getting what I deserve I suppose." She muttered miserably.

Luna appeared a few minutes later, a steaming mug in her hand.

"What's that?"

"It will calm your stomach." She said, extending it to her.

Hemione was wary but took the mug. "Where did you get this?"

"It was my mother's recipe," She told her, the look from earlier returning. "I've memorized them all."

Hermione took a sip, and when it tasted good she took another. Luna was right. Her stomach settled down and she sighed. "Thank you, Luna. It really helped."

"I knew it would." She said softly. "It helped with my mother's morning sickness too."

"Oh really? Your mum must have-" She paused.  _Wait. What? Morning sickness?_ " Wait a minute. I'm not  _pregnant_  Luna." She laughed halfheartedly.

"Are you quite sure about that?"

"Yes." Of course, she was sure. That was absurd. Wasn't it?

She thought for a moment. What was the date? October twenty-ninth? Was it already almost Halloween? When was the last time? Godric. She hadn't had her cycle for weeks. She’d briefly noticed that at the beginning of the month, but had written it off as emotional distress. It wouldn’t have been the first time she’d skipped a period, but two? She was supposed to be the brightest witch of their year. Had she been living in denial or had she really been that caught up in her issues that she hadn’t realized what was happening? Of course, it still could be stress, right? But then...why would she feel this ghastly?

She felt flushed as the pieces fell together. Oh no. If it was true, then that would mean. Oh, gods.

"Hermione?"

"Merlin.." She looked back to her friend, desperation in her eyes. "Luna, how did you know?"

"I am pretty surprised you hadn't figured it out by now. You've been displaying many symptoms, especially the morning sickness. Though it seems to me that it’s all day for you. Which isn’t anything to be concerned about, some women are just more sick in the first trimester than others. I would have said something but I didn't know if you were aware yet. I wasn't going to bring it up."

"I can't be pregnant!" She suddenly cried, startling Luna for a second.

"You are, Hermione. It’s more than a possibility at this point. You had sex with Draco." It was weird hearing Luna say the word sex and it made her wrinkle her brow. "Was there ever a time when you didn't use the proper precautions?"

There had been at least once, the first time, in fact. "There was once...We screwed up." She set the mug on the floor next to her and ran her hands through her wiry hair. "What am I going to  _do_?"

"Well, first things first," Luna said, her voice calm and her hand rubbing Hermione's back in a comforting fashion. "We're going to go see Madam Pomfrey."

**Chapter Revised**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? I know some of you probably won't continue from this point on, and that is fine. Fics that involve pregnancy aren't everyone's cup of tea. I will say that this fic isn't exactly like most of those fics in that regard though. So if you can stomach it for a few more chapters, I'm sure I'll win you over.


	17. Guessing Games

**Nov. 1, 1998**

Luna could hear Hermione's slow, steady breaths as she walked in step with her. The closer they got to the hospital wing, the deeper her breaths became.

She knew how hard this must be for her. If their fears came to pass, then she would have a lot of explaining to do. Everything that she'd been trying to conceal would have to be revealed, and Rowena knew how that would turn out.

She stole a glance at her friend. She had a concerned look on her face but she kept her pace. Luna knew she was strong. She had always been quite brave. She would get through this. Luna would help her get through it.

They paused when they reached the door. Hermione's back straightened as she reached for the knob and inhaled deeply. "I can do this."

"Yes." Luna agreed. "You can."

Hermione looked back at her as she took that final step. "Come with me?"

Luna nodded. "Of course."

Together the girls entered the wing and were immediately witnesses to Madam Pomfrey, spreading what they knew to be wound-cleaning potion on a second years arm. The boy yelped and she clicked her tongue. "Hold still. You'll be right as rain in a moment."

She spotted them a second later and smiled. "Miss Granger, Miss Lovegood. I'm surprised to see you here without Mr. Potter or Weasely."

"We're here on another matter, actually." Hermione chirped.

Ms. Pomfrey nodded. "Well let me finish up here. Then I'll see what I can do."

They both remained still while the woman finished tending to the boys injuries. When she was finished she put her supplies back in her office.

Hermione started shaking a bit and Luna wrapped an arm around her. "It'll be alright."

She let her arm fall when the woman came back into the room and led them to an empty bed, motioning for them to take a seat. "Well you're not missing any limbs or growing any new ones." She said after giving the girls a once over. "What seems to be the problem?"

"I think...well I'm not sure. But," She paused, glancing at the boy lying on the cot in the corner, and lowered her voice and Luna could see the pink flush on her cheeks. "I could possibly...be pregnant."

If the older woman was completely shocked she didn't show it. "Can you remember when your last cycle was?"

"The week of August 19th." Hermione answered quickly.

"And you're only catching on now?" She asked giving the girls a questioning look. "I would have thought you, of all people, would have been here the moment you were late."

"Under normal circumstances I would have." She said, her voice shaking a bit. Though Luna couldn't tell if it was from the comment unintentionally insulting her intelligence or the fact that she was here in the first place. "This isn't the first time I've been late. I've been under a great deal of stress you see. And I thought it was a factor this time as well. But there have been other signals telling me something is wrong. So now I've come to the realization that it might be a bit more than that."

"Yes, I heard of your recent loss. That, along with the extra course work must have you a bit on edge." She replied. "But we shouldn't assume anything at this point. I'll have to test you."

"I'd appreciate it."

"Wait here. I'll be right back." And with that she disappeared, returning a few moments later with a vile of purple liquid and a needle.

"What is that?"

"A potion created to extract hormones from ones blood to detect pregnancy."

"Like a muggle pregnancy test?"

"Yes, something like that." She said. "Now, hold out your hand."

Hermione did so and Luna watched in fascination as the Healer pricked her finger with the needle. Hermione didn't even flinch as the woman squeezed her finger over the vile.

The three of them watched as the blood spiraled downward, the once dark liquid turning a pale pink. "Well that settles it, then."

"But what does it mean?" Hermione asked.

"It means you  _are,_  in fact, pregnant dear."

Luna squeezed her hand as all the color drained from her face. "I see."

"I understand that you'd be in shock but it’s alright. Believe it or not you're not the only witch that has become with child during their years at Hogwarts." Madam Pomfry continued. "And on the bright side, you should have graduated last year. You turned nineteen recently if I remember correctly. So you are at a perfect age for child bearing. Even in better shape than some, I'd dare say."

Luna looked back to her friend who was on the verge of hysteria as one hand clutched at her stomach and the other held tightly to her own. "I...I've always wanted children...but to think...it's so soon."

"Accidents happen." The woman said as she stood up. "But if I know anything, it's that you'll be a good mother. You are brave, caring and intelligent. You and Mr. Weasely will be excellent parents."

Luna didn't even want to see the look on her face as the words were spoken. To anyone looking in from the outside, it would look like Ron was the father. "Thanks, I guess." Hermione spoke quietly.

"Now, stay here and I'll get you some potions you'll need."

When she disappeared from sight -yet again- Hermione let out a sigh. "I really can't believe this. I mean I can; The science of it and all that, but Luna, what am I going to do? Malfoy and I...aren't really on talking terms at the moment. I gave up that fantasy. I knew it would never work."

"How so?"

"We are far too different." She said softly, her hand moving across her stomach. "Isn't it bloody ironic? I kept pushing him away, telling him we had nothing between us but all the while I was carrying his," She let the next word fall from her tongue as a whisper. "Child."

"It'll be alright, Hermione." Luna insisted, seeing the growing concern in her friend’s eyes.

"But I'm with Ron now. This...this is something I can't hide from him. I can't do that. I won't." Her eyes clouded with tears but she wiped them away with the back of her sleeve. "He deserves more than my lies. And Draco...he deserves to know...I mean. It's not like I can hide it for long."

"Then you'll just have to tell them." She replied.

"I know. I just can't help but think...if people find out...if Lucius finds out...It could cause..." She trailed off and stared blankly at the wall.

"Hermione?"

Her friend looked back to her, panic on her face. "No one can know. At least for now."

She was about to respond but was cut off by Madam Pomfry's reentry. She carried an assortment of potions and she handed them all to Hermione before fetching a bag. "Now, you are probably quite far along so we must start taking the proper precautions. I want you to take the green vile every morning. It is full of vitamins and will help with the morning sickness. The blue one you will take once a week. It's to ensure proper growth and development. You will also be required to come in for a checkup once a month with me. I will schedule a time to do so. You can bring Mr. Weasley along if you wish. I will-" As the woman rambled on about potions and babies Luna's eyes fell once again to Hermione's ashen face. Her last words echoing in her ears.

_No one can know. At least not yet._

It was important to Hermione that no one find out. She was scared. Scared of what could happen. She would tell everyone but she wanted it to be on her terms.

Luna knew what she had to do.

-"Of course I will have to let the headmistress know what's going on."

Luna stood, carefully slipping her wand into her hand. "I have a question."

"Oh, yes Luna dear. What is it?"

"Hermione doesn't want anyone to know of her condition. Is it possible that you could keep it a secret? Even from Professor McGonagall?"

"That's quiet impossible dear. It's protocol to keep a record and the headmistress must be informed."

"And there's no way around it?"

Hermione was now watching as Luna moved closer to the woman, wand in hand.

"No, I'm afraid not." She answered, giving the blonde haired girl a paculiar look. "But why in Merlin's good name would you want to keep it a secret from her?"

"It's dangerous knowledge." Luna replied, raising her wand much to Hermione and Madam Pomfry's shock. "And I'm sorry, but if you can't keep it secret then you'll have to forget."

"How dare you-" She fumbled for her wand but Luna had been ready.

" _Obliviate."_

The light in the woman's eyes faded for a moment before returning back to their lively selves. "Miss Granger? Miss Lovegood?" She blinked in surprise. "I'm terribly sorry. I seem to have forgotten what I was doing. How can I help you today?"

"We were just leaving actually." Luna said, grabbing Hermione's hand and pulling her to her feet. "Right Hermione?"

Hermione looked at Madam Pomfry and then back to her. "Yes." She replied. "Thank you for your help." She grabbed the bag from the bed and they both hurriedly left the infirmary and the somewhat confused Healer, behind them.

"Why did you do that?" Hermione asked when they were safely away from earshot.

"You said no one could know." Luna stated. "She would have let it out. She had to have her memories erased." Hermione's face fell and Luna sighed. "I knew you wouldn't be able to stomach it so I took matters into my own hands. I know how you feel about it, but I'm not going to apologize for doing it."

"I'm not asking you to." She stopped walking and Luna turned back to look at her. "I know...I know you were just looking out for me."

"And I'll be here every step of the way."

She didn't miss the tears that welled up in her eyes as she rushed forward, throwing her arms around Luna and dropping the bag to the ground. "Thank you." She whispered in her ear. Luna hugged her back as she let a sob overtake her. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Probably cry...much more than you are right now."

Hermione chuckled and stepped away from her friend. "Yes, well, I've become quite the expert at crying lately. At least now we know why."

"Let's just go back to my room. We can figure this out together."

"Thanks, Luna." She said, picking up her discarded bag of potions. "But I think I'll go back to my dorm and lie down. I just need to be alone with my thoughts right now."

She didn't really think it was a good thing for her to be left alone but she just shook her head in agreement. "Sure."

"I'll talk to you at dinner."

The girls parted ways and after a moment she felt as though someone was watching her. She stopped in her tracks and looked around. She caugt sight of a very familiar looking wizard coming her way and she felt the corners of her mouth perk up in a smile. "Blaise?"

The boy hurried to her side quickly, startling her a bit. He was never one to rush. "Are you alright, Luna?" He asked, his voice filled with concern. "I saw you and Granger leaving the infirmary."

All the happiness she had when she'd spotted him slowly started to fade. She hadn't been prepared to see him soon. And she definitely hadn't been prepared to keep such crucial information from him. "I'm fine."

His eyes narrowed. "Granger?"

"She's fine as well."

"What's going on?" He asked her. She sensed that he knew she was distancing herself from him. "Something doesn't feel right."

"Trouble has seemed to find us once again. That much is true." She replied, letting her eyes fall to the ground at their feet.

"Trouble? What kind of trouble?" He lifted her chin so she was looking directly into his brown eyes. She hadn't been this close to him since the weekend in Hogsmaede. She just wished it had been under different circumstances. "Tell me."

"There are some things even you aren't privy to, Blaise."

His hand fell to her shoulder as he frowned. "So you'll leave me in the dark then?"

Her eyes misted as she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." He said, letting her go. "You would tell me if you could."

He said that, but his eyes were lit with an angry fire. It was the last thing she wanted to happen. She had found a great comfort in Blaise. He understood her. He was her partner in crime and becoming a close friend. She didn't want to anger him, but she couldn't do anything to hurt Hermione. Draco would find out about the pregancy. But it wouldn't be through Blaise. It couldn't be through him. It had to be Hermione. And for this reason, she remained tight-lipped. "You're angry."

"I'm not angry." He groaned. "I'm just frustrated. I hate not knowing what's going on with my own friends."

"I truly am sorry." She insisted again, resting one hand on the outside of his arm. She needed him to understand her position. She hated hiding it from him, but it had to be done. "I want to tell you everything, but I can't betray her trust. She means...so much to me."

He looked back into her crystal blue eyes. "I know." Was all he said as she backed away from him.

"I'm sorry, Blaise. I promise. All will come to light soon. You won't be left in the dark for long."

"I'll hold you to that, Luna."

She smiled. "I won't let you down."

He smirked, all the anger retreating swiftly from his features. "See that you don't."

* * *

 

Hermione hid the bag in her trunk. It wasn't like Ginny would go snooping inside it. And even if she did, it wasn't like she'd ever seen these kinds of potions. She'd be clueless.

Ginny -one of her closest and best friends- wouldn't have even an inkling of what she'd done. What she'd hidden from her, from her brother, and everyone else she cared about.

Hermione had committed the ultimate betrayal. And now there was physical proof of it.

Her heart slammed in her chest and she fought down the bile that was inching its way up the back of her throat. Perhaps she shouldn't have come here. She didn't want to be alone. Luna had the right idea. She needed someone to talk to.

But Luna wasn't the one that she needed the most.

It was Draco who claimed her and her thoughts, and all she wanted to do was grab the coin and call him. She needed him. She wanted to tell him everything.

But she couldn't muster up the courage. She just needed time. She would tell him. She would. Just not tonight.

Tonight, she would sleep. And tomorrow, tomorrow she would think of a plan.

* * *

 

**Nov. 2, 1998**

The letter had burned a hole in his pocket for three days before he'd resorted to shoving in into the back of his desk drawer. He hadn't opened it. He didn't want to. He knew whatever information the letter contained had dark intentions. He'd thought about setting ablaze but who knows what magical properties it possessed. For all he knew, Bastien could have placed a curse on it, causing any who tried to destroy it to fall victim to it. No. He wasn't a bloody fool. So in the drawer it remained.

Out of sight. Out of mind.

Quite like his relationship with Granger.

He'd made good on his promise. He'd stopped trying to make contact with her. And if he did see her, he'd behave as he had before.

Though the last few days she looked like she was constantly on the verge of tears and at times she seemed almost ill. Not that he was looking at her.

Because he wasn't. Looking at her that is.

He had put her in his past.

Where she belonged.

* * *

 

**Nov. 3, 1998**

Blaise was sick and tired of everyone bloody hiding things from him.

First it had been Draco. He'd come back from Hogsmaede with an attitude and a mysterious letter, which he'd stashed away in a drawer. Whenever Blaise questioned him about either event, he refused to say a word. Now he had reverted back to being a total arse.

And then there was Luna. Yesterday she had looked so conflicted, but in the end she had remained loyal to Granger. He couldn't be angry though. It was rather inspiring to see her stand by her side like that. He wanted to be that strong. But at this moment all he wanted to do was read that sodding letter and find out what the fuck was wrong with Granger.

Sure he knew snooping was not the way to keep a friends trust, but damn it all, Draco was hiding something important. He knew something was wrong. And he wasn't going to sit and wait for all hell to break loose.

He'd waited for the perfect time to act on his plans. Draco had just made a long winded speech on how he was going to talk to Potter about the Auror job and was making his way down the Great Common where Theo had said he'd just been. If Blaise knew anything about Draco and Potter's relationship, it would be that nothing only took a few minutes with those two. He'd be gone for twenty minutes at the very least.

Theo had left as well. No doubt to meet up with Pansy again. The two had been joined at the hip for the last few weeks now. He couldn't say they were dating, per se, but they were shagging for sure. So while Theo was out playing sexual diviant, and Draco was pretending to be civil with Potter, Blaise slowly and carefully carried out his plan.

Once he held the parchement in his hands his heart started racing.

Draco would never forgive him for messing with his private life. But he didn't really care at this point.

The letter had a dangerous air about it. It felt...sinister in a way. Rubbish. How could a letter  _feel_  sinister?

He swallowed the lump in his throat and quickly opened it, his eyes widening in alarm as he read the contents to himself.

When he was finished he let out the breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding.

"Draco, Mate. What have you gotten yourself into?"

* * *

 

Harry sat in the Great Common with Ginny and Neville discussing the upcoming winter when he and Neville would leave Hogwarts behind them.

He was buzzing with excitement and for the first time in a while, he was content.

After everything he'd been through, life was finally looking up. He was on his way to becoming an Auror, Ginny was the love of his life, and everyone seemed to be happy again.

Well everyone that is, except for Hermione.

He couldn't recall when he'd started noticing the difference in her. He was sure it had started at the beginning of the term, but back then he'd been too caught up in his own devices to notice. For a moment he felt a bit bad about that. She'd been there with him during his journey for each and every step he took. She hadn't left his side and Godric knew she was the reason why he remained living as long as he had. She'd made sure of it.

So he felt like a total prat for not noticing her pain before.

Because she  _was_  in pain. She could try to hide it all she wanted, but he noticed. He'd been her friend for seven years after all. Not that he'd always been a good one, especially this year, but at least he was trying now.

He didn't know if she was still hurting over her loss of her parents, or if there was something else below the surface that was bothering her.

There were many signs pointing to something being out of the ordinary. She was becoming unsociable and withdrawn. He acknowledged this. Harry himself had experienced the feeling of loneliness after the death of his godfather. Even when he was surrounded by familiar and loving faces, he'd felt as if he the only one suffering.

She could very well be facing this terrible feeling and he could do nothing to stop it. He knew even if he voiced his concerns she would probably deny it. That was just part of what made Hermione, Hermione. She was always the strong one. The independent girl who did what she had to do to help her friends. She took no glory for herself.

And that was probably what was making this so hard. He knew she wasn't used to asking for help.

That's where Harry felt the desire to intervene. He wanted to help her. He wanted to reach out to her and let her know he could relate. But he also knew it wasn't wise, and it wasn't as if she had no one to talk to. Despite her friendship with Ginny slowly declining, for some unknown reason, she was spending most of her time with Luna now. That was a good thing. Luna was a strange girl, but she was honest and good natured. She'd been through troubles, loss, and turmoils just as most of them had. She could help Hermione where he couldn't. She could be there when he and Ron wouldn't know what to say.

Speaking of Ron. Harry knew things weren't so perfect between him and Hermione. Again. It was understandable. He'd hurt her and she was having a hard time trusting him. Which brought him back the current situation. She didn't trust him enough to tell him what was bothering her. Ron had said so on many occasions. Harry didn't have any advice in the matter. All he could say was, "Give her time. She'll come around."

But now he wasn't so sure. It was like she was slowly slipping away from them. She was visually stressed and her studious personality had faltered. He knew she was falling behind in at least one of her classes. That was definitely not Hermione like.

Then there was the last noticeable difference in her surroundings. Something that really hadn't caught his attention until recently. Something, or should he say  _someone_ , that he should have been aware of from the beginning.

Draco Malfoy.

He didn't know when the git had started hanging out in the library or showing up in the common rooms, but it had started becoming fairly obvious in the last couple of weeks. Harry had run into him a few of these times and it was odd, considering they had absolutely no classes together or interests in common. Yet there he was, making his presence known on almost a daily basis.

If it had been three years ago Harry would have assumed he was there to gloat and belittle him, but the wizard hadn't said two words to Harry, let alone throw an obnoxious remark his way. So Harry had started paying close attention to Malfoy and what he'd picked up was rather unsettling. Each time he encountered the bloke he'd been in the background, usually with Blaise. He would act like he was studying or talking with his friends but Harry couldn't miss where his eyes traveled. There was only one thing that Malfoy and his surroundings had in common with Harry.

But that was mad talk. Why would Malfoy be watching her?

Could he be harassing her?

Stalking her?

Surely not.

He wouldn't be that bloody ignorant.

But then again, it  _was_  Malfoy.

"Harry?"

He looked up, startled by Ginny's voice in his ear. He twisted neck to the side to look at her. "Yes, sorry."

"What are you thinking about so hard?"

"Hermione, honestly."

She nodded in understanding. "Me too. A great friend I've been lately. I hardly know what to say to her anymore. You'd think I could say something. Anything." She grew quiet. "I mean, after we lost Fred...I know how it feels to have your heart break like that...but it seems she just pushes me away when I try to approach her."

"We all grieve differently, Ginny." He said, giving her hand a light squeeze. "She'll come around. I'm sure she will."

Neville, who had thus far remained silent, smiled and agreed. "Harry's right. She knows who her friends are. When she's ready to talk, she will. She's a strong one, that Hermione."

Ginny smirked and leaned her head on Harry's shoulder. "I just wish things were back to normal between us. I miss her. I thought when she and Ron got back together things would change. But she's been as distant as ever. Even from Ron. He's told me...some things."

"Yeah, he's told me things too."

"Do you think," She shook her head. "No, never mind."

"She loves Ron. I'm sure of it." Harry replied, knowing all too well what thoughts were plaguing his girlfriend. She'd been there the many nights Hermione had spent away from her bed. It was the question on all their lips, yet none had been brave enough to ask. If Hermione had been having secret rendezvous before she and Ron had gotten back together, it was pointless to bother with it. It would just stir up trouble.

Harry would be lying if he said he didn't wonder who she could have been seeing, though. No one had really stuck out in his mind. There wasn't anyone who had been hanging out with her, or talking to her for that matter.

His thoughts traveled back to his earlier statement.

Malfoy had been behaving as peculiarly as Hermione had.

That was ridiculous. There was no way they could have been seeing each other. And he still didn't believe Malfoy could be stalking her. Then again, how could he assume anything about Malfoy?

"Harry." Ginny sighed.

"Yes?"

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

Neville chuckled. "We've been trying to get your attention for the last few minutes. You just kept staring blankly at us. Like you were lost inside yourself."

"I was, lost inside my thoughts, that is." Harry admitted, looking sympathetically at Ginny. "Sorry."

"It's alright." She said leaning over for a kiss. "As long as you make it up to me."

Neville just rolled his eyes as the two kissed again.

"Well, what do we have here?" A voice scoffed from the doorway, making the trio look up. "Saint Potter snogging the Weaslette?" Malfoy eyed Neville and smirked. "Enjoying the show Longbottom?"

Neville frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"Last time I checked, all houses were welcomed here." He replied stalking over to the nearest chair and slinking down upon it. "But you don't have to stop your gossip on my account. I wouldn't want my presence to bother you."

Harry found it strange that he was suddenly feeling this familiar loathing for the blonde. Malfoy hadn't bothered him in months. Why was he showing up and spoiling everything now?

"Don't you have first years to harass or something?" Ginny growled, her eyes angry. "What are you doing here?"

"I have business with Potter." He stated, examining his fingernails while they all just glared at him.

"I don't recall having any business with you, Malfoy." Harry hissed. "So get lost."

"Let's not squabble Potter." Draco replied. "We'll need to at least be civil when we start working in the same office."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I said." He smirked. "Surely you didn't think you were the only one who received a letter from the Ministry?"

"They wouldn't let the likes of you join the Auror Office." Neville dismissed.

"Well, Longbottom," He sighed. "That's where you're wrong." He looked back at Harry and met his glare head on. "Because they  _did_."

"Why?" Harry asked, still a bit shocked at the news.

"Why? Well according to them I'm an asset." He replied looking rather bored. "Though I'm not sure why my name came up in the first place."

"Yes, I wonder why that is." Ginny retorted angrily.

"Ginny, calm down." Harry whispered to her before turning his attention back to the blonde who was looking quite proud of himself. "But I do wonder how you managed it."

"Regardless of how it came to be, we should at least agree to try to get along."

"And why should we do that?"

"How would it look if the Ministry's new Aurors were at each other’s throats?"

Neville looked back and forth between the two of them.

"So I suppose I came here to tell you I'd be civil. If you could manage the same." Draco finished, waiting for a response.

Harry was quiet for a moment, contemplating whether or not this was some sort of ill-mannered trick from his former rival. "I don't think you came here to make piece. If anything you came to rub this knowledge in my face. But I won't take your bait Malfoy. I'm no fool."

"No one is questioning your intelligence, Potter. Just your ethics. I don't want to spoil this opportunity by engaging in a war with you. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I don't have as squeaky clean a record as you do."

Ginny laughed loudly, which caused all three wizards to look at her. "So you're trying to tell us that you, Draco Malfoy: Slytherin prince, is retiring his fangs and venom to become an Auror?"Malfoy frowned as she shook her head. "What are you trying to prove?"

"I have nothing that needs to be proven, Wealey, least of all to you." He growled. "I was offered the job despite my former alliances and I don't take that lightly. I was given a task and I mean to see it through, regardless of the outcome."

"There's not even any guarantee that you'll make it past the first test." Harry said, bringing the blondes attention away from Ginny and back to him.

"Perhaps not." He replied, "But I sure as hell won't be out shown by the likes of you."

Harry raised a brow. "Is that a challenge?"

"Only if you want it to be." Malfoy smirked, standing up. "Which I really hope you do."

Harry stood and faced him, sneering as he said, "You wouldn't last three days."

" _You_  wouldn't last three hours." He answered back.

Neville took this time to move between the two angry boys. "Alright, enough. We have two months left until then. So why don't you just leave it for now."

"Fine." They both said in unison.

Harry stood still as Malfoy walked closer to him. His voice lowered as he leaned toward the other boy. "By the way, Potter. I would keep an eye on the book worm if I were you." Harry's mouth opened in shock as the blonde stepped back, turning around and heading for the door. "You never know what kind of mischief one can get into."

If he didn't think Malfoy had something to do with Hermione's behavior, he did now. And not only that, but there was a chance he'd be working with the git.

Godric. What the bloody hell was going on?

* * *

 

**Nov. 4, 1998**

Ron sighed and pushed the cooked broccoli around the plate with his fork. Everyone seemed to be lost in their thoughts lately. Harry was unusually quiet and Hermione, well, Hermione had been silent and ill looking all damn week. She hardly spoke three words to him. And those words would always be, "I'm fine, Ron." or "Don't worry, Ron." and better yet, "I'm just tired."

He understood that he'd have to work hard to make this relationship work, but he hadn't expected it to be like this. It wasn't like it had been in the past at all. She didn't even look at him unless he was talking directly to her. He hadn't noticed how much she used to hang on to his every word until she'd stopped doing it.

He'd been blind. Blind to her unconditional love and he was paying for it now.

She loved him still. He knew she did. But there was something that was holding her back. Something that was keeping her from opening up to him. He knew he was partially to blame for that, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt. He wanted her to talk to him about her feelings. He wanted to hold her and tell her she could depend on him. But when he kissed her there was no fire like there had been. She had even flinched when he touched her.

It hurt.

It sucked.

It made him angry.

In the back of his mind he replayed the night he'd followed her.

Had she met someone?

Had they slept together?

Did she like it?

Was she thinking of him at this very moment?

Maybe that's why she hadn't wanted to be intimate with him. Maybe she was wondering why she was even with him.

It pissed him off and he found himself pushing the plate away. He wouldn't believe that. Hermione wouldn't just sleep around. She was better than that. She was better than him. And that's why he was that much more determined to keep her.

He loved her. Even if she was thinking of another man, he would reclaim that place in her heart. He wasn't going to let her go without a fight.

* * *

 

**Nov. 5, 1998**

It had been four days since she'd found out she was pregant. And during those four days she'd made no progress whatsoever. All she'd done was manage to push everyone even further away from her.

Everyone knew something was wrong with her and Ron was even starting to catch on. He'd been especially clinging lately. He'd wanted to spend more time with her and tried hard to get her to open up to him.

In the end, she couldn't do it. She couldn't tell him before she told Draco.

So that's where she was going. She was going to tell him. If not tonight, then soon. Very soon. Because there was already a bit of a bump and in a month, if she wasn't wearing her school robes, it could become obvious. She didn't have time to waste.

She was on her way to her dorm when she heard him call her name, quietly at first, then louder as he approached.

She stopped and waited for him to catch up to her. As he got closer she could see the disturbed expression on his face. It wasn't uncommon lately. She'd seen it many times, when he was thinking about Fred, or the war. For him to look like this now...it was foreboding.

"Ron? What's the matter?"

"I couldn't sleep." He said. "I've been worried about you."

"Why?" What a ridiculous question. There was plenty of reason for him to worry about her. She was a bloody basket case.

"You've change, Mione." He replied, stepping forward. "You're different now. And not in a good way."

"Thanks for the complement, Ron." She retorted.

He frowned. "I'm serious. I realize you were having a rough time with your fathers passing." He said, his voice sincere. "I get it. I still struggle when I think about Fred. When I think about all the friends we lost. But I look at you, into your eyes, and I see so much pain. You say you want to be with me, but when you're with me, your mind is elsewhere."

"I'm sorry, Ron. I don't mean for it to be that way."

"But it is that way. I'm trying, Hermione. I'm trying to be a better man. I love you. I want you by my side. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made before. I want you to know that. I want you to know you don't have to worry about anything."

"It's not like that." She tried to explain but there was nothing she could think of to say without spilling the beans about everything, including her situation. So she just shook her head.

But he wouldn't take that as an answer and reached out for her. "Then why won't you let me get close to you?" He asked, his eyes pleading. "I've been your friend for years. More importantly, I'm your boyfriend. Why can't you tell me what's wrong?"

She backed away from him. "I just need time, Ron. Just give me a bit of time. I want you to understand, but I can't talk about it right now."

"Fine. I'll give you all the time you need." He replied, letting his hand fall to his side. "I just don't want to lose you, Hermione. I can't do that again."

She held back the aching throb that was her chest and whispered, "You won't."

She turned and headed down the hall, leaving him alone in the torch light.

She wasn't going back to her dorm. There was no point. How could she even think about sleeping after this?

* * *

 

"Echmm." Blaise cleared his throat for what had to be the hundredth time tonight.

Draco ignored the sound and continued reading.

"Damn. Must be a great read."

Draco shut his book and swirled around in his chair. He frowned and stared openly at his friend, who had been glaring at the back of his head for the last half hour. "Do you have something to say to me, Blaise?"

"You know I do." He replied curtly.

"What then?'

"You know what."

"No, I'm not so sure I do actually." He rolled his eyes and turned back to his book.

"Are you really going to keep dancing around all my questions?"

"That depends," He replied, flipping through the pages to find his place. "Are you going to keep repeating the same ones over and over again?"

"You can be a damn prat sometimes, mate."

He found the page and tried to continue where he'd left off. "That's what I keep hearing."

"Fine, ignore me. I'm growing used to being in the back ground."

"Oh do stop acting like a drama queen, Blaise." Draco snorted in annoyance.

"I will if you will."

Draco pinched the bridge of his nose. Blaise was not making this easy. He flipped the book upside down and laid it on the table before rising from his seat and facing his friend.

"Alright, what are you on about now?"

"I want to know what happened that day. Are you really hell bent on not telling me what happened at Hogsmeade? You came back that day and it was like a part of your soul had been sucked out of you. You started acting like your old self. So I know something happened. I just don't know why you won't tell me."

Again? What was with him and that sodding weekend? So what if he'd reverted back to his old self. That was the whole point. He wanted to go back to being emotionless. Being like he'd been the last few months was too painful.

Blaise just needed to get that through his thick skull. He'd been a complete pain in the arse all week. Always with the questions and the suspicious looks. If he didn't know any better, he'd have thought Blaise had seen him with Greyback. "Why do you want to know so bloody bad? I wasn't aware my life was that interesting to you."

"I'm just asking as a concerned friend."

"Just stop being so fucking concerned then. I'm fine. Nothing happened. I saw Granger, we talked, we don't care about each other anymore, end of story."

"I don't believe you."

"Well I can't control what you bloody believe." He snapped.

"So that's all you did, then? You talked to her and came back here?"

"Yes!" he cried in frustration. "For Salzar's sake, mate."

Blaise just sat there with his poker face and ignored Draco's growing contempt. "And I'm just supposed to sit here and take that bull shit as truth?"

Draco set his jaw and glared at him. "Yes."

Blaise just kept on going despite the dangerous looks being thrown his way. "And I'm also supposed to just accept that you don't give a fuck about Granger anymore?"

"Precisely."

"So I would take that to mean it wouldn't bother you that I saw her leaving the infirmary the other day, then?"

 _The infirmary? Was she sick? Did something happen? Was she ok?_ He wanted to ask all these questions but he kept his wits and replied, "Of course not."

"You're such a fucking liar." Blaise accused loudly.

Draco clenched his fist. He was so close to punching his friend in the fucing face. He was fed up with all these questions and accusations and Blaise himself, quite frankly. He turned on his head and stomped off toward the door. "Fuck off, I don't have to listen to this shit."

"Go on then. Leave. Run away from your feelings. You're good at doing that." Blaise called after him.

Draco slammed the door as hard, and as loudly, as he could.

Fuck him.

He didn't know a damn thing.

He'd tried to face his feelings.

It had backfired.

It wasn't that he was running away.

He was just giving up.

He growled, remembering the look on her face as she'd said she was happy. If she was so damn happy, she'd be with him right now. Not skipping off into the sunset with Weasley.

Shit. He needed to just calm down. He needed to think. There was only one place he could think of that would be as lonely and dark as he was.

* * *

 

The library was dark and deserted. Of course it would be. It was already so late. But that was where she felt at home. It welcomed her with all it's grace and knowledge. She could think there.

She crept silently through the isles until she found her corner. No one would find her here. She could be alone in the calm, quiet darkness. Well not alone entirely. Physically there was someone here; someone closer to her than anyone could physically be.

She rubbed her stomach instinctively. She couldn't keep treating Ron like this. He was worried about her. He wanted her to confide in him. But how was she supposed to do that? She was carrying another man’s child. He would never forgive her.

She couldn't say she'd take it back though. The truth? She didn't regret what happened between her and Draco. As fucked up at that was, she just felt like it was supposed to happen. The life inside of her was supposed to be here. She didn't quite like the timing or the situation, but it wasn't like she could change it. The facts were still facts.

She was pregnant.

It belonged to Malfoy.

She was currently dating Ron.

Ron loathed Malfoy.

Vice versa.

Malfoy was a pureblood.

She was far from it.

His family would never accept it.

Her family wasn't around to have to.

She was surrounded by friends, but when it came to family...she was alone. She had no one to turn to and she couldn't' keep it a secret forever. She couldn't keep making Luna hide it either. She'd put herself in this mess and she'd have to be the one to clean it up.

She was a Gryfindor. She had done far more courageous things in her young life. She'd fought Death Eaters, ridden a dragon, solved riddles, and faced certain death every year she'd attended Hogarts. You'd think telling ones friends you were pregnant wouldn't be so frightening. Yet, it was so much more frightening than anything she'd ever have to do. This wasn't something she could just run from. It was a life she was dealing with. A child. A living, breathing human being that would need her to care for it, to protect it.

How was she supposed to pull that off? She wasn't even out of Hogwarts yet. She'd barely lived herself. She wanted to get a job with the ministry, see the world and bask in its wonders. But that would be impossible now. Well, at least for a while.

She would have to find a job that would support her. She couldn't be picky. She'd take whatever she could find as long as it would make life a bit easier for the child. Her heart raced at the thought of bringing up a baby on her own. But she had no other choice. Malfoy probably wasn't going to be there, and she wasn't going to ask Ron to stick around. It would be too cruel.

She took a deep breath.

She could do this. She didn't need Malfoy. She  _wanted_  him, but she didn't  _need_  him. And Ron, well he  _wanted_  her, but he was better off without her.

"Why is it that I always find you alone in desolate places, Granger?"

His voice startled her and she stood up quickly, retreating down the aisles and towards the front of the library. She wasn't ready to talk to him, yet here he was, as if he knew she was thinking about him. "I wouldn't know. Your impeccable timing perhaps?" She replied, wiping the tears from her eyes and moving past him. "Just shove off, Malfloy."

"Wait." He called out, grabbing her arm. "I'm sorry. That was just...It was me trying to be my old self."

She stopped and stared at him a moment, her chest rising and falling as if she'd been running a marathon.

"Something is going on with you. Tell me what's wrong."

She shook his hand off her and avoided his eyes. "It's nothing."

"Bollocks." He replied. "You're hurting."

"Thanks for your concern, but it's really unnecessary. I'm quite happy." She forced a smile.

His eyes darkened and he scowled. "Stop bloody lying to me. After all the time I spent watching you, I can tell the difference between your true smile and your painfully obvious, fake one."

Her stomach did another flip. Should she tell him? She'd have to eventually. It was just as much his problem as it was hers. "I'm…I'm just dealing with some issues right now…." She started.

"Relationship issues?"

He was so quick to blame it on Ron. In another time he would have been spot on. But tonight, he was far from it. "Why should you care? We're nothing to each other anymore. You said so yourself."

"Only because you forced me to." He stepped closer to her. "Come on Hermione. Just talk to me." He said, his voice showing the concern he felt inside. "I do care…"

Maybe it would be alright to say it now. "Fine. You really want to know?"

"Yes. I really do."

She took a deep breath. "I just found out a few days ago."  _Come on you can say it. Just say it!_  "That I'm….Well...I'm pregnant."

Draco was completely shocked and taken aback for a moment. The first emotion to really hit him was anger, and it was quickly followed by envy. She was sleeping with the Weasel? He didn't know what bothered him more, knowing Ron was shagging Hermione now, or the fact that she was pregnant with the bastard's child. He chose to shake off the intense jealousy monster that was brewing in his stomach by forcing a laugh. He couldn't let her know what he really felt. It would just make him look that much more pathetic. "Well I didn't expect you two to jump that quickly into things, but really that's nothing to cry about, Granger. Weasely is probably pretty excited about it."

Her brows knitted together in confusion.

 _What?_ He was so getting the wrong idea. "No…you don't understand…"

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "He got  _angry_?"

"No." She said, her voice faltering. "Ron doesn't know…"

He laughed coolly. "What then? You think he'll want you to get rid of it? The wizarding world is low on magical children as it is. I really don't see him wanting to do something like that. Besides, he's a  _Gryffindor_. He's  _far_  too noble."

She turned around, walking towards the exit. "No! That’s not-!"

He ran ahead of her, blocking her path. "Or is it that you don't like the prospect of having a red headed kid-"

"What? No-"

"I agree, Gingers aren't well like-"

"Shut up!" she cried, tears springing in her eyes. He blinked, silencing himself. "That's  _not_ the problem!"

"Then what, pray tell,  _is_ the problem?" He asked, his arrogant tone returning. "Because you certainly aren't making this sodding guessing game easy."

"I'm  _sorry_." She seethed. "I guess I didn't know you were that dense." He frowned but she continued, her attitude replacing her tears. "Maybe I should spell it out for you then. I n-e-v-e-r  _slept_ with Ron you bloody prat." She hissed, effectively shoving him out of her way as she sped off toward the exit.

If she would have looked back she would have seen the bewildered expression on his face as realization sunk in. "Bloody hell."


	18. A Promise and an Invisibility Cloak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when he thought he was getting his feelings under control, Draco finds out that Hermione is pregnant. Now he must face things he never knew were possible, all while wondering just what plans his father, or more worrisome, Bastien, have for him.
> 
> TW: Abortion is mentioned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every once in awhile I write a different pov than our main characters. I know how annoying that can be (come on why are you wasting our time with characters we don't care about) but there is a reason for them. Feel free to skip ahead but you may be losing pieces of plot if you do so. :)

 

**Monday, November 2, 1998**

**Flat of Brice Lexington**

Brice Lexington stirred his cup of coffee as he sank down into the oversized recliner, contemplating the reasons why his superior Auror had sent him away. It was strange and didn't quite feel right. They'd been investigating another murder inside Muggle London when he'd gotten a look of disgust and told him to return home.

He had never been one to question the behavior of his superiors. All through his school years, he'd been rather quiet.  his head down and done what he'd been told. He never disobeyed his teachers or caught the unwanted attention of the prefects and graduated without being a wizard worth remembering. He had preferred it that way. He didn't want to stand out or be the center of attention. He wanted to do his time and get a job where he could be out of sight of others.

The war had changed that about him. When the Dark Lord had returned he'd been working under Ollivander. He'd come into work one day and had found the shop in shambles, his mentor, and employer nowhere to be found. He'd decided then and there that something had to change. That _he'd_  have to change.

So he'd done the boldest thing he'd ever done and went to the new ministry about joining the new Auror Office. They'd been hesitant at first. He couldn't blame them really. He'd never made an impression on anyone in his life. But after some rather embarrassing pleading, the Minster himself had decided to test him.

He'd been shocked but very enthusiastic about the outcome. It had taken a few weeks but he eventually passed the tests they'd laid out for him. That's how determined he was about this. He wanted to make sure that nothing bad could happen to those he cared about ever again. Now he could do something about it.

The new Ministry was going to be better than the old one had ever been, and he would have a part, if only a little, in it.

He felt like he could do something with his life now. He felt as if he could take on the world. Or at least, he  _had_  thought that. But ever since he'd been promoted to Auror and was working directly under Nathan Dearborn he'd began to have second thoughts.

Rumor was that his father had died in the First Wizarding War. He'd been a part of The Order and Nathan had grown up with one goal in mind. He'd wanted to make his old man proud and had sought out a lifestyle worthy of his father's name. He had been a detective for the Department of Ministries for years before he'd switched careers and became an Auror at The Minister's request. They seemed to have a connection and remained close.

But Brice wondered how anyone could be close to Nathan. This man was intense. He'd heard about how tough he was on new recruits and they hadn't been joking. His skills were tested daily by Nathan, but he wouldn't dare complain. Complaining wasn't tolerated. He'd learned to just shut his mouth and do what he was told, just as he'd done his whole life.

But there was something a bit different about him lately. He'd become distant; cold and just a few weeks ago he'd told Lee Scott to have Draco Malfoy apply for the job. Draco Malfoy. Son of Lucius Malfoy and a former Death Eater himself. What could Nathan be thinking by suggesting such a person to join them?

He couldn't say much, though. They'd given _him_ a chance after all. And gods knew he didn't deserve it. At least the Malfoy boy had combat experience prior to the offer. It was just odd coming from Nathan. So that, compiled with tonight's events left him wondering just what was up with his partner.

* * *

 

**_Hogwarts Library_ **

" _I n-e-v-e-r_ ** _slept_** _with Ron, you bloody prat!"_

Those words reverberated through his mind, and surely throughout Hogwarts itself in the moments following the statement.

He'd had no time to gather his wits, seeing as how the words had barely left her lips before she'd shoved him backward and stormed out of the library. He'd never seen her move so quickly. Well, besides when he'd seen her fighting right here in these bloody halls during the war but that had been a different situation entirely.

Her quick departure had everything to do with the her putting distance between her and himself. After dropping such an alarming statement, she'd just up and left him alone in the emptiness; the only sound being that of the door slamming behind her. He'd been so shocked and completely dumbstruck by the whole encounter that he'd barely registered what she'd just said.

According to this, his previous presumption of her had been false. She'd never slept with the Weasel. She'd never…"Bloody hell." Hermione was  _pregnant_? As in, she was carrying a  _child_  inside her?A child that  _didn't_  belong to the ginger? A child that, his throat tightened and his mouth went dry at the thought, belonged to _him_?

He felt his knees buckle and he reached for the nearest table to lean upon. Fuck. This couldn't be real. It just wasn't bloody possible. How? When? When had this happened? He'd been cautious. He'd known the consequences. And they'd both been so careful. It just didn't make sense.

He wracked his brain for any information that may put ease his mind, but he found none. He thought back on every little tryst he'd had with the witch and he groaned inwardly when he recalled that their first had been rather spontaneous. They'd both been intoxicated to the point that neither had thought to use a charm. At the time he’d figured they were safe. It wouldn't happen to him. It had been the farthest thing on his mind. He never thought that the unthinkable would happen. She'd been walking around all this time not knowing.

_For two fucking months._

How had she not known? Didn't she know her own body? Well, perhaps the happenings with her father and himself were enough for her to think it was stress and not hormones that had caused her to skip. But to think; to think that the whole time they were shagging, fighting, "breaking up", she'd been…

Well, that explained her sodding mood swings, temperament, and her ill appearance lately. It would explain everything really. All the way down to her uncharacteristic bouts of excessive crying.

And that's when it hit him.

_Shit._

This was for  _real._ She wasn't making it up, and of course not, why the fuck would she? She wanted him out of her life for good. She was with the infuriating ginger. She wanted to live happily-ever-after with the git. There was no way in hell that she would want to ruin her life like that.

She'd been hell bent on keeping her distance and he'd been all too willing to oblige. But this would change things. It would change everything. Just when he'd finally made up his mind to leave her behind him forever she’d thrown this information in his lap. How was he going to do that now? What was he supposed to do? How was he suppose to move on and deal with everything else now that he knew? And that brought about another question. Was anyone else aware? Was he the only one that knew? Surely not. She’d probably told Lovegood. He knew the two of them had been getting along.Who else could she possibly tell? Weasel was obviously out of the loop, considering that Draco was the father. That meant Potter and the she-weasel were probably in the dark as well.

He found himself suddenly feeling more concerned for Hermione than he did for himself. She'd been hiding this from everyone. If her tears were any indication, she was scared and just as lost as he was in this moment. He took a few deep breaths and pulled what little sanity he had left, together. If he was going to think this through he'd have to have his wits about him.

* * *

 

Blaise stared up at the ceiling from where he lay on his bed. His thoughts were dark and bleak, coming dangerously close to driving him insane. It had been this way for the last few nights. If he wasn't thinking about _Draco and Granger_ , he was thinking about Luna and the way she looked the last time they’d spoke. He could see it in her eyes that she wanted so desperately to tell him what was wrong. But he knew why she couldn't. It was the same reason why he wouldn't tell her what he'd found out about Draco.

There were some things that had to be kept secret, even from Luna.

_Luna._

Now how had he gotten himself mixed up with the barmy blonde? Sure, he'd liked the idea of playing matchmaker with her, but to think he'd be having this kind of feeling? Well, it wasn't something he would have thought possible.

He hadn't realized just how much fun he had with her until they'd drifted apart. Now that Granger and Draco weren't on talking terms, it was hard for the two of them to conspire. Though he wouldn’t' say that was all he wanted to do with the blonde.

Ever since that day in Hogsmeade he'd been having all sorts of mixed feelings inside of him. Perhaps it started even before that. He'd already acknowledged the fact that she was cute and he had become quite fond of her aloofness. He just appreciated her ways he hadn’t thought possible. He liked her innocent, yet knowing gaze and outrageous thoughts and perspectives. Yes, he'd thought she was cute for awhile now. But it wasn't until he stepped into that bookshop that he'd had the notion of kissing her, or have the sudden urge to embrace her. It wasn't until that day that he'd thought she was beautiful in that knitted cap with a matching scarf and one of his favorite books in her hands.

Ever since then he'd been consumed with his lustful thoughts and dreams. Many nights now he'd had many fantasies involving him and Lovegood. Ones where he'd be sneaking into her room in the middle of the night, or pulling her into a secluded hallway to ravish her, and there had even been one where he'd taken her in this very room with Draco asleep in the next bed.

He'd awaken in a very unsatisfied daze and found that instead of being apprehensive, he'd rather enjoyed them. He'd even wanted to act one out on one occasion, but he never had the opportunity. She'd suddenly disappeared off the radar. The only glimpse he'd gotten of her was when she was with Granger, or in the Great Hall. They had one class together but she always sat in the back, for she was the last one to arrive and the first to leave. He knew she wasn't doing it on purpose. It wasn't in her character to play games and mess with men's heads, least of all his. She was doing this for her best friend’s sake, and most likely for his sake as well. She probably thought it best to stay away. It would only cause conflicts within her heart. Or that's what he assumed anyways. Who could really know what was going on in women's heads? Especially Luna's. She always had an interesting way of thinking. He didn't' always know what she was talking about but he knew her to be honest. Her eyes had yet to lie to him.

" _I'm sorry, Blaise."_ She'd said. He'd looked into her eyes and had seen the sincerity in them. " _I promise. All will come to light soon. You won't be left in the dark for long."_

With those words, he knew where he stood with her. For now, he was a friend. A friend that she'd have to keep her distance from. But she wasn't the only one that had been keeping him at arms length.

Draco had been doing something quite similar himself.

He'd become rather secluded and kept his nose in a book, though Salzar knew if he was really reading it. He hadn't even talked to Blaise about what was bothering him. Now Blaise wasn't normally one to worry about what people thought of him, but where Draco was concerned, he worried. Blaise knew the bloke didn't have many real friends, but he had assumed he was different. He assumed Draco trusted him, confided in him. He knew many things no one else knew about the blonde, especially when it came to his past. But something had happened. Something had changed. Either Draco really didn't trust Blaise, or he thought he could handle this all on his own. Whatever the case may be, Blaise wasn't satisfied.

He could have stopped this madness if he'd only just confronted his friend. The moment he discovered the truth he should have made a fuss. He just couldn't let his friend go back to the way he was. He couldn't allow him to slip into the dark again; not when he had tried so hard to remain in the light.

He could have avoided these thoughts and feelings if he'd only acted at the appropriate time. Now he was just sitting around making subtle gestures that he knew what was going on. But he wanted Draco to tell him himself. He didn't want to bully the information out of him. It had to come from the heart. It wouldn't mean a damn thing otherwise.

He glanced over at Draco's desk across the room. The reason for his anxiety stuffed safely into the lowest drawer where he'd found it. He wished he would never have read it. He wished he never had to question whether or not his friend could be working with Greyback and another former Death Eater. He wished he hadn't been so nosy. He wished he didn't get involved with his friend's affairs. And he wished...he wished he could do something.

The sound of the door opening gave him a start and he sat up to see which dorm mate had dragged their sorry arse back to bed. His anxiety returned when he saw Draco's frame shutting the  door behind him as he slowly made his way to his own bed, a lost expression on his face.

Blaise didn't know what could have happened in an hour that would make him look this way. But he thought now was a good enough time for an apology as ever. "I'm sorry about earlier." He stated quietly. "I shouldn't have been so harsh."

"It's fine," Draco replied. "I probably deserved it. I should be the one apologizing."

"Even so, I shouldn't have yelled at you." Draco remained silent and Blaise noticed that he was staring at the floor intently. "You’re unusually quiet tonight. Did something happen?"

The blonde looked up at him and sighed. "Blaise, I've been a fool. I’m used to making mistakes and fucking everything up, it’s all I’ve done the last two years, but I really screwed up this time and now I've probably fucked up both of our lives.”

_Mistake? Fucked up their life?_

"I don't know how I know where she is, but I always seem to find her."

He wasn't making any sense. "What are you on about, mate?"

"I saw Hermione tonight." He said. "We had a row as usual but this time, it was different. She was…she was distraught and I just made matters worse because I can't keep my damn mouth shut...and then she told me..."

"Told you what?" Blaise asked when his sentence tapered off. When he remained silent Blaise repeated, “What did she tell you, Draco? Obviously, it was something important enough to have you on edge. So tell me what’s wrong?”

He took a deep breath and raised his head, finally meeting Blaise's gaze head on as he muttered the word's. "She's pregnant."

Suddenly all the puzzle pieces fell into place. Luna's actions, Granger's behavior, and Draco's somber expression all made sense. _Granger was pregnant?_ But wouldn't that affect his plans with This Aldamar character? Maybe he should say something. "Draco, if this is true...then maybe you should reconsider."

He scrunched up his brows. "Reconsider what?"

"Your plans with-"

The door opened and they stared in shock.

"Theo?" Draco gasped. "What are you doing?"

* * *

 

Theo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was getting a bit long. He hadn't trimmed it in a while on the request of one Pansy Parkinson, who was at the moment laughing with Daphne Greengrass in the Slytherin Common room. The two girls had been quite inseparable the last few months and tonight was no different.

Pansy had been describing an intimate encounter with Slytherin's Prince, and while that irked him to the extreme, he'd remained stone-faced and calm while the girls giggled and exchanged stories.

"I've noticed you seemed to have given up, though," Daphne said, leaning back into the couch cushions.

"There's really no reason to keep trying," Pansy replied. "He's not himself. It's like someone replaced him or something."

"War does that to people." Daphne agreed. "I mean, look around. Everyone has changed a bit, including you."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." She sighed and crossed one leg over the other. "But something good did come out of our terrible separation."

"And what's that?"

Pansy smiled over at him and returned the gesture, not sure if she was being sincere or not.

Daphne, who had known of their trysts grinned. "Then is it official?"

It was Theo's turn to speak up. He leaned forward and gave Daphne a smirk. "Only if she swears to only have eyes for me."

He knew it was wishful thinking. She'd always look Draco's way. No matter what the git did, there would always be a tiny piece of her that would love him. In the beginning, Theo had wondered if it even mattered to her that Draco had slept with the mudblood but he quickly came realize that she had no recollection of the letter or the fact that she'd walked in on the sinful act.

Draco had obliviated her. She hadn’t even known what hit her. The little pieces fit together perfectly in his mind. The scheming Draco had been doing, the late night whispering, all the nights his bed was empty, and his uncharacteristic insistence that Theo spends time with her. He hadn't wanted her to remember. This knowledge was supposed to remain unknown. But Draco had failed in more ways than one, Theo _did_ know about them and he also knew about Draco's encounters in Hogsmeade. He'd spent the last few weeks watching both him, and Granger. He hadn't come up with anything, though. Granger spent way too much time in the library or safely hidden in the Gryffindor Tower with her friends.

And Draco? Well, he kept to himself mostly. He  _was_  reverting back into his snippy, arrogant self, though. The other day he had even hexed someone for sitting in his seat. It looked as though things had indeed ended between the two. That may mean his information wasn't going to be as useful as he'd originally intended. An ongoing affair between a pure-blood and a mudblood would garner much more attention than one little sexual encounter, though it would still stir up some dust.

There was still information that he needed. If he was going to start a family feud that would sully Draco's name for good, he'd need more than just Pansy's jealous ramblings. He'd need concrete evidence. He sighed and excused himself from his company, giving Pansy a light peck on the cheek before departing.

Who knew how rough and tiresome revenge was? He didn't even know if he would have the stamina to see it through, or if he even had a big enough motive to want to. By the time he reached his dorm he was on the fence about the whole thing entirely. He reached for the handle and yawned. He could think about it in the morning. It was late and he needed sleep.

He turned the knob as the sound of Draco's voice filtered into his ears. He opened the door and was met with angry glares from both of his dorm mates.

"Theo? What are you doing?" Draco asked, surprised.

"Correct me if I’m wrong, but last time I checked I still _sleep_ here," Theo answered sarcastically, making his way to his bed.

"Yeah, only on the nights when you aren't getting any." Blaise barked.

Theo rubbed his eyes in irritation. What the fuck was their problem? "What's with all the hostility?"

"Sorry." It was Draco who spoke now, his voice calm and low. "We were just discussing something and your sudden presence caught us off guard."

"Oh, finally confessing your love for each other now, are we?" Theo laughed. "Want me to leave so you can have at it?"

Blaise blinked in surprise and Draco frowned. "I'm not even going to bother responding to that."

"Good," he said, changing into a pair of shorts and climbing into bed. "I wouldn't want to hear the disturbing details anyways."

He heard Draco grumble something incoherent and Blaise called him a "bloody wanker" before muttering a silencing spell. He should feel offended, but he was too tired to care so he ignored it and turned his back to them. He didn't know what was so damn important that they'd been so up in arms about him walking in on them. It probably had something to do with Granger. He'd find out eventually. He always did. It was just a matter of time before someone slipped up. And he'd be there in the shadows waiting.

* * *

 

Hermione slammed the door to her dorm and leaned heavily upon it.

The sound startled a sleeping Ginny and she shot out of the bed like the room was on fire.

"'Hermione? You scared the hell out of me." She said. "Are you alright?"

She wanted to tell her "no." She wanted to curl up into a ball and tell her everything, from the very beginning until ten minutes ago. She wanted to spill every little detail regarding her and Draco and what was now going on inside of her body.

But as much as she wanted to unload this terminal of emotions onto Ginny, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. What if she misunderstood? What if she hated her? She just couldn't take that kind of pain tonight.

She'd already made the mistake of telling Draco before she was ready, and really what good had that done? What had he immediately responded with?

" _Well I didn't expect you two to jump that quick into things, but really that's nothing to cry about, Granger. Weasley is probably pretty excited about it."_

He'd thought it belonged to _Ron_. How could he even think that? Though she was _dating_ Ron and normally that would mean some sort of intimate contact at some point, but that didn't mean she slept with him right off the bat. Just because she had shagged Malfoy didn't mean she was so quick to spread her legs to everyone.

But he'd thought she had and that stung worse than anything he'd ever said to her. Maybe it was the hormones that made her think and feel this way? Godric knew she shouldn't. She was the one that told Malfoy to stay away from her. She was the one that jumped into a relationship with Ron to avoid a real one with Draco. She was the one that kept telling herself to let him go.

But he was the one that kept barging into her life and making her have all the feelings in the first place. Stupid fucking Malfoy. She slid down the door and Ginny hurried to her side.

"Tell me what's wrong?" Ginny pleaded. "Hermione, please. I'm worried about you."

"Everything hurts, Ginny," Hermione replied, the tears now flowing freely down her face. "My head, my body, and my heart. It all hurts and I just can't get it to stop."

* * *

 

**_Tuesday, November 3, 1998_ **

Draco hadn't slept a wink. He'd spent the whole night mulling over the facts in an attempt to find a solution. He'd found none. The child was his, there was no doubt about that, but he had no idea what to do with the information. It wasn’t like he’d have any choices in the matter. He couldn’t make her do anything, so he'd just have to wait and talk to her. They would have to sort it out together. They had made the mistake and now they would have to face the consequences of their actions.

So he spent the whole morning searching for her. He'd been to all her favorite places but they had all been empty of her person. He'd finally come to the conclusion that she was still in her dorm. That presented a bit of a problem for him. He couldn't get into the Gryffindor Tower, let alone her dorm room. She knew the answers to get into his, but this opera singing basket case wasn't making it easy. There was no riddle at all. Just a password.

So there was only one thing he could do. He leaned against the stone wall, arms crossed and features stoic, as he waited for an unsuspecting first or second year. He didn't have to wait long. A young first-year boy rounded the corner and Draco grabbed him by the back of his collar and hauled him backward.

"Hey! Let go of me!" He yelled, but Draco just rolled his eyes and spun the boy around to face him.

"Not until you give me the password."

The boy got a good look at his robes and tie and shook his head. "I'm not giving a _Slytherin_  our password."

"Listen, kid, I don't have time for house rivalries right now." What could he say to make him behave without threatening him within an inch of his life? "I've got things to discuss with Potter. You know who that is, don't you?"

"Of course, I do." The boy replied and wrinkled his nose. "And I know who  _you_ are too."

"Good," Draco replied leaning down to look the boy in the eye. He lowered his voice. "Then you're already aware of what sort of enemy you'll make if you refuse me."

He watched as the once-defiant look in the boy’s eyes faded. "I won't tell you. You wouldn't do anything-"

"Wouldn't I?" Draco smirked. "I assure you, I could do  _unspeakable_  things to you without batting an eyelash. So please, make this easier on yourself and just give me the password."

"Fine." He answered, defeated. "It's Hippogriff"

Draco released the boy and patted him on the head, much to the boys annoyance. "Thanks, mate."

He then made his way to the "singing" portrait. She glared at him. "What are the likes of you doing here?"

He was getting incredibly tired of everyone making things difficult. He just needed to see Hermione. "Shouldn't you be asking for the password and minding your own business?"

"If you think for one minute that I will allow-"

"Harry Potter is expecting me." Draco cut her off. "So if you don't mind, I would like to pass through."

She seemed to reconsider after he'd mentioned Harry. Merlin that name was like fucking gold in this school. Fuck Potter and his notoriety. Then she shook her head and smirked. “I don’t think so.”

Draco was slowly losing his patience. He was about to plead his case when he heard a familiar Irish drawl coming around the corner. Damnit. Seamus-fucking-Finnegan. There was no getting in now. The Gryffindor wouldn’t allow it. With one last sneering look at The Fat Lady he spun on his heel and walked quickly away before the Irishman saw him.

* * *

 

Hermione knew she was being a coward. She hadn’t ventured past their common rooms since coming back from the library. Ginny had left early that morning, probably to tell Harry about happened, so she’d been in their room alone for hours. Ginny had tried desperately to get Hermione to tell her what was wrong. She just couldn’t form the words. Ginny just wouldn’t understand. So she had to deal with this on her own. Draco knew. There was no going back and she knew she should just suck it up and try to find him, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Her insecurities held her back. She hated it, but that was the reality of it. She grabbed a pillow and smashed her face into it, yelling her frustrations into the fabric. When had her life become this complicated?

**Later**

 “This is bloody ridiculous,” Draco muttered as he made his way up the same staircase for a second time that day. Granger was certainly giving him the runaround. She hadn’t even come to lunch and she’d skipped Potions class altogether. How the hell did she think they could figure anything out if she wouldn’t even show up to class?  

He’d been unable to speak with her since the night before. He’d tried all forms of communication but she was ignoring the coin and he was growing restless. Blaise had even given Lovegood a message to give to her, but nothing came of it.  He was growing more and more impatient as the day dragged on. Finally, he’d had enough. He was going to stand outside of their damned Common Room until sunrise if he had too, angry Gryffindor’s or not.

When he reached the familiar portrait of the Fat Lady he glared at her as she frowned. “Oh, back again are you?”

“It would seem so.” He replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “I haven’t gotten what I’ve come for yet.”

“You’ll be waiting a long time.”

“I’ve cleared my schedule for the night.”

Neville Longbottom was the first to spot him. “Malfoy,” he called, “What are you doing up here?”

“Oh, good. Longbottom. Would you do a bloke a favor and ask Granger if she could kindly come down here and meet with me?”

Seamus narrowed his eyes and gave him a skeptical once over. “What do the likes of you want with Hermione?”

He fought back the sarcastic comment that was dying to leave his mouth. “She has the other half of our assignment.” He lied. “She didn’t show up today. How are we supposed to finish it if she’s not in class?”

“Pretty sure that can wait until tomorrow. So why don’t you fuck off.”

Longbottom placed a calm hand on his friend’s arm. “Seamus, calm dow-“

“No,” He hissed back before turning to Draco. “I don’t trust you, Malfoy. Harry told us about your little chat. You gonna be an Auror huh?” The boy stepped into his space. “No, you’re up to something. I can feel it. You’re here for a reason and it’s not because of some homework.”

“Listen, Finnigan, I have neither the time nor the patience, to deal with you right now. I couldn’t care less whether or not you believe me, or think I have sinister intentions regarding my choice of employment. You aren’t even on my radar at all. I’m just here to speak with Granger, not get in a row with you. So, are you going to tell her or not?”

Longbottom looked between the two of them and quickly disappeared inside the common room. “You’re not talking to her.” The Irishman said, a look of pure contempt on his face. “So, why don’t you just go back to your little snake den and leave us alone?”

“I’m not leaving until I see her.” He stated, not moving an inch from his spot on the wall. “And I’m not breaking any rules waiting out here. I’ll stay all night if I have to.”

“Over some fuckin homework?” He asked. “You’re a damn _liar_.”

Before he could respond the portrait suddenly swung open and Draco watched as Harry Potter strutted over to them, followed closely by Neville. “Malfoy.”

“Potter.” He so did not need this confrontation. He glared at the boy behind him. “I see my message reached the wrong member of the trio.”

“Don’t jump on Neville’s case. I intercepted him.” The spectacled wizard stated. “So, tell me, Malfoy, what is it you’re doing on our side of the castle?”

Irritated beyond all reason, Draco sneered in his direction. “I think my request was pretty straight forward.” He drawled. “But it’s become apparent that I have to dumb things down for you. I would very much like to speak with a certain bushy haired witch that has seemingly locked herself in her room with my potions notes. That is all.”

Potter shook his head. “I don’t think some bloody missing notes warrants you showing up here making trouble. “

“What, you think I’m up to something too, Potter?”

“It’s not that I _think_ you are, I _know_ you are.” He said, glaring at him.

“Just go tell her I’m here and if she wants me to piss off then I will. I’ll even let you have the honor of escorting me out, but I think she’ll want to talk. It is important.” He said and as an afterthought added, “The notes, that is.”

Finnegan looked like he was about to protest but Potter silenced him. “Fine,” He looked sideways. “Seamus, wait here will you?” The boy nodded. “I will tell her you are here, but I look forward to sending your arrogant arse back to where you belong.”

Draco rolled his eyes at the idle threat. “ Thanks ever so much,”

The wizard didn’t respond before he entered the tower once again.

* * *

 

Harry was really concerned at this point. Not only had he began to wonder about Draco's actions lately, but now he was literally showing up in front of his common room demanding to talk to Hermione.

What could be so damn urgent that he'd go through the hassle of coming here in the first place? They all knew his homework excuse was a blatant lie, so what was it really about? Could he know what was bothering her? Could he _be_ the one bothering her? Was he the source of her outburst last night?

He shoved the thoughts away. Only Hermione could answer that and she was in no mood for him to question her. Unlike Malfoy, Harry could show some consideration. When he reached her door he knocked softly, partially hoping she was asleep so he could hex the fuck out Malfoy when he returned. "Hermione?"

"What is it?" She answered quietly.

Bugger! Oh well. "Malfoy's camped outside the common room making a fuss.”  He said through the door. "I told him to piss off but he says he needs to talk to you about something _important_." He rolled his eyes though he knew she couldn't see him. "Claims you have some potions notes or something. If I don’t do something soon there’s going to be a brawl between  him and Seamus. Should we go ahead and hex him, then send his arse to Madam Pomfrey’s?"

"No!" He heard her reply loudly. “Don’t fight with him!” There was a bit of shuffling around the room and he stepped back when she suddenly flung the door open. He was surprised at just how bad she looked. She looked as if she hadn't slept in weeks. "I do need to talk to him.” She said, bringing Harry back to their conversation. "Thanks for getting me."

"Wait." She wasn't serious was she? "You're actually going to talk to him?"

“Yes.” She nodded. "He was telling the truth. We do have something important to discuss."

Harry didn't get it at all. What kind of things could she and Malfoy have to talk about? He didn’t follow her out down the stairs. Instead, he rushed back to his room and grabbed his cloak out of his trunk, throwing it around his shoulders. He was not going to be left here in the dark. He was going to find out what this was all about.

* * *

 

Hermione had been quite surprised when Harry had said Malfoy had been outside Gryffindor Tower. Here she was holed up in her room like a child and he'd set up camp just outside of enemy lines. Which meant he was serious. He'd thought about their current situation. She found her hands were clammy and she bit down on her bottom lip as he led down the stairs and onto another floor.

"What's this about Malfoy?" she finally asked, unable to take the silence between them.

“Don’t be coy, Hermione. You know damn well what this is about." He scoffed. “We have to talk.”

"Well, I agree with you there." She laughed halfheartedly.

He frowned at this. “Then why did you make it near impossible for me to contact you?”

She hung her head. She knew he was right. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be.” He turned down another hallway and she followed quickly as he huffed. “I thought I was going to be the victim of an Irish rampage.”

“Yes, Seamus has never been too fond of you.” She sighed. “I still can’t believe you actually went up there. I thought Harry was going to spit nails when I told him I’d come talk to you.”

“Potter is the least of my worries at the moment,” Draco replied sardonically, pulling her into a secluded enclave. "Now, I came here for answers. I’m not in the mood for games, especially after dealing with your sodding friends for the last twenty minutes. So, tell me, was it true what you told me in the library?" he asked when he deemed they were out of earshot of anyone that happened to come by. "About you not sleeping with Weasel?"

"Yes." She spoke softly. "I never…I mean it’s not that he didn’t _try_ , it just didn’t feel right.” He had even ruined _that_ little part of her relationship with Ron. “But _thank you_ for believing I’d jump right into bed with him. Makes a girl feel great about herself." She added sarcastically.

Draco ran a hand through his hair. "It’s…I’m _sorry_. I was just jealous and being an insensitive prick when I said that…I didn’t _want_ to believe you were sleeping with him, the thought actually made me sick to my stomach...but, shit.” His eyes fell down to her abdomen. “It’s really true, then. You really are pregnant?" She couldn't find the words so she just nodded. "So it _does_ belong to-" She watched as his features hardened; he turned to the tapestry next to them and drew his wand, " _Deprimo!_ " He called, causing her to step back in alarm. What in Godric's name was he doing?

A massive wind came forth and blew an unseen mass into the wall. Hermione's eyes widened when she saw the familiar figure of Harry emerging as his invisibility cloak fell off of his shoulders. "Eavesdropping  _again,_ Potter?" Draco growled as Harry stood up quickly and pointed his wand at him. "Seems to be your specialty doesn't it?"

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. "What are you _doing_ here?"

"Do you even have to ask? You've been so secretive lately, Hermione." He glanced over at her for a second, never lowering his wand. "I had to know if my suspicions were correct."

"Suspicions? Of what?” Had he really seen through her?

“Malfoy is up to something.” He replied without missing a beat and glaring hotly in Draco’s direction. “I thought it may have involved you.”

“So you decide to just follow me?!” She cried, feeling like her privacy had been violated. Flustered, she continued, "Suspicious or not, Harry, what…just… how much did you hear?"

"Bloody near all of it!" He snapped. "Is it really true, Hermione?"

Her heart beat loudly and she could swear she felt the blood rush to her face as she quietly answered, "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was going to tell you all, Harry. I really was." She quickly tried to defend herself. "I was just waiting for a good time. There just never seemed to be one."

"Did you at least tell Ron?"

Confused, she took a step towards him. Apparently he hadn't been there from the beginning. "No, Harry-"

"So what you're saying is, instead of telling your friends what's wrong, you decide to go off and confide in  _him_? You'd tell a…a _Death Eater_ all your secrets?"

Draco scoffed at this and rolled his eyes. "Friends? Some friends _you_ are. You didn't even notice all the times she wandered of crying."

Harry gave a grunt and Hermione cut her eyes at him. She didn't need him making this any more difficult.

"Stay out of this,  _Malfoy_ ," Harry growled. "It's got nothing to do with you so mind your own fucking business."

"Oh?” He laughed haughtily. “Nothing to do with me, _Potter_?" He hissed taking a step forward. “What a surprise you’re in-“

Hermione positioned herself between them, trying to keep a duel from breaking out. "Stop it! Both of you!"

"Sorry, Hermione, but I just don't understand. I mean, I know we haven’t been the most observant lately, but how did you even end up confiding in him? Where you scared to tell us? Why? Ron would be excited-"

She'd just about had enough. First, it had been Draco assuming it was Ron's and now Harry? Well, Harry, she could understand, but it was getting frustrating having to spell it out for everyone. "It's not Ron's!" She shouted before lowering her voice when she realized how loud she’d yelled. "Despite what he might have said, or what you all assumed, I've never gone all the way with him."

Harry blinked a few times before responding. "What? But then, if you're pregnant, whose baby is it?" Draco and Hermione exchanged an awkward glance and shifted uncomfortably. That one look that passed between them seemed to be all it took for Harry to understand. He dropped his wand, took a step, and punched Draco square in the jaw. "You bastard!"

Draco staggered backward unprepared for the sudden physical attack as Harry jumped on him, punching him harder. The blonde wasted no time in fighting back. He'd been in a few brawls unrelated to magic so he wouldn’t let him get another hit in so easily. He blocked one of Harry's blows and counter-attacked, knocking the glasses clean off his face before wrestling him to the ground. Harry elbowed him in the stomach but he didn’t let up.

"Stop! Draco! Harry! Stop it!" Hermione screamed, trying to pry the fighting boys away from each other.

Draco was the first to let go, listening to Hermione's pleas, and got off the other boy. He wiped the blood off of his lip with the back of his hand as he moved to the other side of the hall. "Bloody hell, Potter!"

Draco may have been finished, but Harry was far from it. "What did you do to Hermione, Malfoy?!" He yelled, stumbling into a standing position and finding his wand, his discarded glasses forgotten as he moved towards the blonde once more. "Tell me! You took advantage of her didn't you?!" Draco’s mouth turned downward and Hermione could see that his anger was slowly rising at Harry's accusations but Harry carried on, wand once more pointed at the Slytherin’s face. "What kind of sick trick did you use? Did you blackmail her? Curse her?” Draco’s fists clenched at his sides and she could see he was shaking. This was about to get ugly. “Or maybe that wasn’t good enough. So tell me, Malfoy, did you use _Imperio_?"

"Harry!" She screamed, moving directly in front of the furious blonde before his self-control shattered. Harry stopped his verbal assault and looked at Hermione's distraught face as she cried, "He didn't take advantage of me! Merlin, what is _wrong_ with you? He didn't use magic on me either! It was completely consensual!"

Shock overtook his features. "But…he's…Malfoy, Hermione. What?" He stood flabbergasted  by the revelation.  "When? How? How long has this been going on? When did it start?"

She sighed and Draco leaned against the wall, cooling down and trying not to intervene. Harry was her friend, not his. "The last big night in the Great Common when Ron and I fought. I left and I was so upset…No one even noticed I was gone but, "She looked over at Draco. " Malfoy saw me in the hall. He talked to me for a bit and we called a truce for the night and we _may_ have gotten a bit intoxicated. I know it wasn't a brilliant idea," She sighed. "But I just wanted to forget for awhile. I thought things were really over between Ron and I. Malfoy comforted me. We were having a really good time and one thing sort of led to another….."

"Drunk or not Hermione, what were you thinking?"

"I  _wasn't_  thinking." She half yelled. "That's the whole bloody point."

He seemed to ignore her aggravation and continued on his quest for answers. "Was that the only time?"

Draco couldn't keep quiet this time. "What are you, a bloody inquisitor?" He snapped, but Hermione shook her head.

'It's alright. He has the right to know." She turned back to Harry. "No, it wasn't the only time. I felt so, I don't know, left out, unwanted…I just didn't feel like I belonged with you anymore. I felt as though Ron and I came as a package and after we broke things off it felt like there was a wedge between us. Sure, I’m still your friend, but you and Ginny are his friends too. It felt awkward and you all had such high expectations of me and I couldn't live up to them anymore. For once it was me that didn't know what to do or how to feel. Malfoy had no expectations of me. I knew that so I went to him and we kind of started this weird no strings attached kind of relationship. And, Harry, I don’t expect you to understand but it was great. I didn't have to pretend anymore." She looked back at Draco for a second before returning her attention to her best friend. "I don't know how to explain it to you. He was there for me. Especially the day I found out about my parents. Everyone always seemed so busy. To be honest, my first thought when I read that letter, was how much I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. I needed a distraction…but  _I_ sought  _him_ out. Not the other way around."

"So you willingly cheated on Ron with Malfoy?"

"No! Weren't you  _listening_? We weren't together at the time. It wasn't until a couple days later that it was official and by then I'd already ended things with Malfoy."

"What does it matter! Ron loved you all this time! He knew he made a mistake. He's been repenting for it, trying to make it up to you! And here I was telling him it was all worth it because I thought you loved him, but apparently I was wrong."

She had been trying so hard to keep it all in, but she was struggling to keep the tears at bay. Seeing Harry like this, upset and angry with her, made her heart break. "I did love him!" The use of past tense didn’t fall on deaf ears as she pleaded for him to understand. " I just…I don't know…I had a moment of uncertainty.."

"So you quite literally jump into some blokes bed? Yeah, I'm sure Ron's going to understand."

"Harry, Please."

He shook his head furiously and stooped down to pick up his glasses. "No. No, Hermione. I can't think right now. Just...give me some time...I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't talk to us. We didn't make it easy for you..I'm sorry that I couldn't' be there for you like I should have but I just can't process it right now. I need some time to sort- "He moved his wand back and forth between Hermione and the blonde. " _this_  out…."

"But…"

He lifted a hand to silence her and then turned to Draco. "And I have something to say to _you_."

“Surprise, surprise.” Gray eyes glared icily at him. "Potter has something to say to me, go on then."

"You better take responsibility." He replied seriously.

"Fuck off."

"I mean it," he growled. "If you hurt her, I'll fucking kill you."

"Same goes for you, _Chosen One_. It was you and your lot that drove her into my arms in the first place. _You_ were the ones who made her cry, I was just the one left to pick up the pieces." Harry recoiled as if Draco's words burned him. Draco just continued to glare and said, " So, by all means threaten me, warn me, I don’t care. It still won’t negate the fact that you were too blind to see her falling apart. Why don’t you chew on  _that_ before you go to sleep tonight."

The dangerous tension between them ebbed in the silence that followed. Harry shoved his wand in his pocket and spoke calmly. “I’m aware that I’m not winning any best mate awards at the moment, Malfoy, but she knows who her family is.”

He turned to leave but Hermione called out to him. "Harry, wait!"

"I'm going back to my room, Hermione. I promise I won't tell anyone yet, but if you don't tell Ron soon….I  _will_."

"Harry!" He kept walking. "Harry!" she cried again but he was gone. She was sobbing now, big tears cascading down her pink cheeks. "Please don't hate me…" she mumbled as she wiped her eyes. She didn't want to be like this. She didn't want Harry to find out like this and she definitely didn’t want Draco to see what a sodding idiot she was being. But even as she wished she could regain her composure, the tears kept falling. "What am I going to do?" She cried quietly. "I did this. It's all my fault.”

* * *

 

Well, that hadn’t gone down the way he had envisioned it. Draco watched Potter’s retreating form and couldn’t help feel contempt for the other boy. He certainly had this uncanny ability to materialize where he wasn’t wanted and proceed to fuck things up. The conversation he needed to have had already been delayed and was difficult to begin with, he didn’t need the extra audience. Now Hermione wouldn’t be at the emotional neutral that he’d needed her to be in. How could they have a level headed discussion when she was crying over the fact that her best friend practically called her a harlot to her face? And he wasn’t even going to think about what he’d said about him drugging and/or cursing her.

It had taken everything inside of Draco to stop himself from wringing Scarhead’s neck. He figured the other boy wouldn’t be happy if he found out about him and Hermione, but he hadn’t expected to be accused of forcing himself on her. He should have seen it coming considering the history they all had with each other, but the thought had never even crossed his mind. His anger over it honestly scared him. It was a good thing Hermione had intervened before violence broke out between them again, but now she was crying at his feet and he needed to deal with that first and foremost, Potter could wait.

Draco knelt in front of her, pulling her into his arms and letting her head rest in the crook of his neck. "Don't you think you're being a little hard on yourself?" He asked softly.

She balled his shirt into her fists and cried harder. "No! Harry hates me! How could he forgive me? I  _betrayed_  him. I betrayed  _all_  of them."

"Well, I was there too, so if you want someone to lay the blame on, go ahead and lay it on me." He said stroking her unruly hair," And I _really_ need you to understand something.” She nodded into his neck. “Potter _will_ come around eventually. It’s what he does. So until then you need to stop feeling so damn guilty. We didn't do anything wrong.  _You_  didn't do anything wrong."

"I can't help it. I spent years holding onto the notion that my friends and I were always doing what was right and just, and that you were someone that wanted the exact opposite. You were someone that we despised. I've done something that is unforgivable in their eyes."

"If they're really your friends and the Gryffindor's they claim to be, they'll get over it." It was strange to think that he was the voice of reason in this situation.

"If I'm lucky." She said. "But what about you? Aren't you taking this a little too well?" She asked, breaking away from his embrace. "I mean, you must be freaking the hell out inside and yet, you're trying to comfort _me_?"

"You need it more than I do at the moment. Potter kind of disrupted things."

"Yes, he did." She spoke quietly. "I’m sorry for that. I wasn't prepared for it. I wasn't even prepared for _you_ to find out yet."

"I know."

"You're not going to get mad and yell at me and ask me how it happened?" She asked, no longer crying.

He frowned. "No, I know how it happened. I never thought it would but that's really beside the point. I didn't have my wand our first time. It happened kind of suddenly and unexpectedly. I already took that into consideration last night when you told me you never slept with Weasley." She didn't say anything. "And don't go beating yourself up about everything else. Even if we hadn't slept together all the other times you'd still be pregnant."

She looked shocked. "And you're ok with that?"

"With what?" He asked, "You being pregnant?"

"Yes."

"I don’t particularly know how to feel about it at the moment but right now it’s not whether or not _I’m_ ok with it, it’s whether or not _you_ are."

She seemed genuinely shocked by his answer. "I just thought that you would have some proclivities on the matter,” She lowered her gaze to the floor. “Considering your blood status and the obvious lack of Half-blood’s in your family trees.

He tilted his head in consideration. “I’m not really in a position to be making demands of that nature.”  It wasn’t like he was _fond_ of the idea of termination, as he’d already had the death of one child on his hands and the thought of him being a driving force in the death of his own made him uncomfortable, but it wasn’t his decision to make.

Her eyes shot up and locked with his. “Really? You didn’t come here to tell me to get rid of it, then?”

“No.” He licked his lips when he'd noticed they had gone dry. “Is that what you thought I would do? Make you kill it?”  Had she really thought so low of him? “Was that why you were hesitant to say anything?” When she did nothing but nod, he frowned. “I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to do, Hermione. I know I used to be a bit of a tosser, and three years ago I probably would have made that demand out of fear, but I thought you knew me better than that now?"

“I _know_ you aren’t who you used to be, but I still can’t trust you one hundred percent. Especially with something as big as this.”

The fact that she didn’t trust him hit him hard. His heart sank a bit as he pressed the conversation forward, now was not the time to worry about it. “Well, now that you know I’m not going to be an arse, why don’t you tell me what _you_ want to do about it.”

“Aren’t you even going to offer up your opinion? The final decision is mine, yes, but it’s your child to.”

He rubbed his eyes in irritation. Were they going in circles? “I don’t know what exactly it is you want me to say. Though if you truly want my opinion on whether or not I want you to terminate, I’m inclined to say no. I’d rather you not, but as I said, it’s not up to me.”

When he looked at her again she looked relieved. “I’m glad you feel that way because I want to keep the baby and I know that it will most likely cause a lot of problems for the both of us, but I’ve seen enough lives taken and I’d rather not put an end to one I helped create.”

A small weight lifted inside of him. He knew it would soon be replaced with another, but he let himself feel a bit of relief. “I agree with those sentiments.”

"I suppose that takes care of item one on my list.”

“You never change, do you, Granger?” He gave her a slight smirk.

“I like to be organized,” She retorted. “Which is something you are quite familiar with if I’m not mistaken.”

He ignored her attempt at bantering. She was good about getting away from a subject too. “What’s number two on your list then?”

Any humor she had on her face disappeared. “I’m worried about your family."

His mouth twitched as he thought back to the letters. It was something he'd have to think about later. Right now, he just needed her to remain calm. "I'm not going to lie to you, it would be dangerous if my father were to find out about it right now. Mother is passive. She won’t do anything, especially if it’s something I want."

"I figured as much." She said, hugging her arms to herself. "I just haven’t had time to think about it. Everything happened so fast, and I didn’t know what you would do when you found out. Now Harry knows so it's just a matter time before the whole school finds out...and Ron...when he finds out he will be heartbroken. Our relationship has been rocky since the beginning. It won’t survive the fallout. We'll be over...and then what?" She sounded so defeated. "I know I can do it on my own, but it will be hard at first. I’m used to having friends to fall back on, but I’ll pull through like always. I don’t expect you to help just because you want me to keep it, especially with your family being who they are. You’re not obligated-."

He turned to her and grabbed her hand. "Stop. Before you go on a long-winded spiel about how you are an independent woman and don’t need anyone, just listen, I know this is rough for you, and I know how hard it’s already been and how hard it's going to be. I know you're going to have to tell your friends, that you may lose some of them, but you won’t lose all of them. And I'm always going to be here. You won't be alone, alright? Could you do it all on your own? Yes, but why would you want to? You don’t have to be alone. I'm not going to abandon you or the child. I promise."

"But can I really trust you?" She asked, her eyes searching his for some form of confirmation. "Because if you're only saying all of this to make me feel better, you're wasting your breath. I've already thought about my future with the child. I'm not afraid of being alone. What I'm afraid of, and what I  _can't_ do is believe that you want to be there for me just to have you vanish. I won't be able to handle that, Draco. I refuse to subject myself to that kind of heartache again."

"You're the one that pushed me away, remember."

"I didn't have a choice."

"You had a choice." He said firmly. "You chose Weasley, and while I can't say I wasn't angry, I understand why you did it. I don't blame you. It was the right choice."

"Then why did you try to get me back?"

"Because I'm a selfish bastard and I wanted you."

"Then we have that in common." She sighed and looked down at her stomach. "What are we going to do?" It was a thought spoken aloud. "I'm not prepared for this."

"Just take one step at a time, Granger." He replied. "That's all we can do."

 

_**Chapter revised** _

 


	19. That Gryffindor Loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The style of writing I use in the chapter is a bit different at times. When writing a character POV sometimes I use choppy lines to represent their hectic thoughts and emotions rather than writing long fluid paragraphs. I hope it doesn't take away from the overall enjoyment of the story. I just like how it looks/feels as I write it.

**_Wednesday, November 4, 1998_ **

Harry clutched his father's cloak in his fist as he stormed through the common room, ignoring the many inquiries he received from the students there. He couldn't hear them. He couldn't answer them. His mind had only enough room for the thunderous thoughts of what he'd just come to witness.

His best friend of seven long years had lied to him. She'd lied to everyone. She'd felt lost and alone and had hidden it from them. He'd known she was wandering off, but he had thought is was alright. It wasn’t his business so he'd done nothing. He'd just thought she needed some fun, deserved some fun. He just hadn't thought, well, he hadn't thought she was seeing  _him_. How were they supposed to tell Ron?

Ron was worried sick as it was. How was he going to handle _this_? He loved her. He may just now be truly figuring it out, but he did. This was going to crush him. The sneaking around they could deal with, it was none of Ron’s                                         business what she’d done when they weren’t together, but this wasn’t something they could all just sweep under the rug. There was no way to sweep a child under the rug.

Holy shit, she was pregnant. _Hermione_ , the girl with the brains, the girl who'd saved his arse on so many occasions that he'd lost count, and the girl he’d known for what seemed like forever, was having a baby. Not just anyone's baby either. No. She had to go and complicated it further. It wasn’t the result of just some summer fling with a random wizard. It belonged to Draco effing Malfoy. _Malfoy_! How the hell had  _that_  even happened? As far as he knew they still hated each other. Apparently they didn't hate each other as much as he thought. In fact, it seemed they "liked" each other well enough to have a good shag or five.

Bloody hell, what was going on? Hermione had enough sense to watch out for herself. She would know the consequences. Why hadn't she thought things through? She  _always_  thought things through. Didn't she know things would never end well when the Slytherin was involved? She should have known better. He was still an arrogant, selfish, prick and Harry wasn't too happy about having to work with him. Now he had to deal with the fact that, not  _only_  was he going to be an Auror alongside himself, but he was going to  _father_  Hermione's child.

He shook his head, and slammed the door behind him, making his way to his bed where he threw the cloak down upon it. Why had this happened! Just when things seemed to be looking up. What the hell was she  _thinking_? How could she do this? Had she not thought about Ron at all? Didn’t she know how much it would hurt him, hurt all of them, to find out she’d been sleeping with Malfoy this whole time? Didn't she care about any of them at all? What in Godric's name was going through her mind?

How could she behave like that? It wasn't in her character at all. It just wasn't like the Hermione he knew. She'd never jump into anything recklessly and without any thought. And now she was paying the price. Motherhood was not something she was ready for. _Motherhood_. Why did that sound so  _wrong_? Maybe it was because it was Hermione, and he'd never pictured her with children until after her career was underway. But it was obvious that he was going to have to change his vision of her. She wasn't who he thought she was. She'd fooled him all semester. She'd pulled the wool over their eyes.

This whole bloody mess pissed him off. She should have told him. She should have let them know she was hurting. She should have trusted him like he trusted her. Harry would have helped! She didn't need to sully herself with the likes of…of…He flinched when his right hand suddenly clenched into a fist. He looked down to examine it and saw the angry, red swelling on his knuckles. He'd never actually punched someone that hard before. He'd just been so damn angry...And then it hit him. This wasn't really about Hermione at all. The reason for his bitterness, his _rage_ , wasn't really because of what _Hermione_  had _done_. After all, Ron had shagged a few girls that he knew of, and he himself had been sleeping with Ginny for months and hadn't told Ron about his feelings for her for a long time.

It wasn't the fact that she'd moved on with that part of her life that had him flustered and on edge. It wasn't about her sexual endeavors at all. It wasn't even about the child she'd conceived. It was the  _paternity_ of said child. It was all about who'd she'd chosen to share her bed with.

Yes, the reason for his outburst and his deep-seated  _anger_ , was that she'd chosen Malfoy. But  _why_  Malfoy? Why _him_? Why couldn't she just find someone else to fill the void? Malfoy was cruel. He was vulgar, cowardly, and downright infuriating wizard. Harry still stood by his decision to keep the prat out of Azkaban, but it stung now. Maybe he should have thought about it a bit more.

No. No. That was wrong. He hadn't been a willing participant in the war so Harry couldn't allow him to be imprisoned. He honestly didn't deserve it but despite the fact that he'd helped Harry out back then, it didn't change the fact that he still didn't like who Malfoy was as a person.

 _None_  of them had liked who Malfoy was as a person. Had Hermione forgotten the last seven years? He'd been the one who constantly reminded her of her blood status. He was the one who'd bullied and badgered them every year since the beginning. Even though he'd been a complete coward when faced with a real fight, it didn't change the fact that he had a way with words. Three words from the blonde could destroy a happy mood in two seconds flat. He'd always been their enemy. He'd always been their rival. He’d always been on the _wrong_ side. So something had to have happened to change that.

Had he flattered her, seduced her into thinking he was an alright bloke? That was a rather absurd thought. Hermione wasn't ignorant enough for his tricks to work on her. She was always one step ahead of them all. She'd see through him from a mile away. So what then? Had she just given up entirely? Said "To hell with it. Malfoy is good as anyone?" That didn't' sound like something she'd do on a whim. Something had happened. Something had _changed_. Perhaps Malfoy changed? He couldn’t really imagine that, so could it be Hermione? Yes. She  _had_  changed. He'd said so himself.

But why? They were supposed to be starting a new life now. After this year he thought they'd all be together, taking on and changing the Wizarding World. Him and Ginny, Hermione and Ron. They were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to do this together. Now that would never happen. It just wasn't possible. Ron would be devastated after this came out. Their storybook life was crumbling before him and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

Fucking Malfoy.

He ruined everything. He laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with pure contempt raging in his heart. Then he thought of something he hadn't before. He'd been going through everything that  _Hermione_  had done wrong, but the catalyst for this whole mess...

Was  _Ron_.

Ron had done something completely idiotic and cruel. He'd dumped Hermione when she needed his support the most. If anyone was to blame for Hermione's drunken fling with Malfoy, it would be him. While he couldn't say her choices were the best, she was simply acting out on her emotions just like the rest of them. She was, after all, human. She'd felt lonely and abandoned. She'd needed someone so she sought comfort in Malfoy's arms when they hadn't been around to give it.

It was quite the predicament now, but the blame wasn't entirely on Hermione's shoulders. It wasn't entirely Malfoy's fault either. The blame couldn't fall on just one person. It was all a game of chance, and they had  _all_  played a part in this outcome.

"I'm such an idiot." He sighed, sitting up.

He owed Hermione an apology. She'd been there for him through the all of his toughest trials. It was only right that he be there for her in this one. He just prayed that she'd tell Ron about it soon. He wouldn't know quite how to face him otherwise.

* * *

 

**_Thursday, November 5, 1998_ **

Draco rubbed his temples as he leaned over the bed. This was the second day in a row that he'd gotten little to no sleep.

His mind had refused to shut down ever since she'd told him. It hadn't helped that yesterday had not gone the way he had imagined it.

Potter had done a good job of ruining everything. His interference had resulted in Draco making promises that he wasn't so sure he could keep. But what else could he have done?Saint Potter, her supposed best friend, had turned his back on her when he'd found out the truth.

Was he supposed to stand there and tell her that he was leaving too? Was he supposed to say he was scared shitless and didn't know what to do or how he was feeling?

No.

It would have made matters worse for her. He didn't want to see that look of regret on her face as he turned his back on her. But could he even do this? Could he even be with her in the way he'd implied? He  _wanted_  to be with her, there was no question about that, but he'd already seen the truth.

Even if he loved her, it didn’t mean she loved him.

She would do the right thing, of course. She'd try to make things work for the child’s sake, but she'd already had a plan B. She had already decided that she could do it alone, if Weasley bailed, and if he couldn't be trusted. That had left him a bit bitter. To think she didn't want his help at all made him angry, but really, could he blame her? Her hesitations had their merits. _Could_ he be trusted with something as serious as her having his baby?

This was a life altering situation all around. He would have to make changes, but he wasn't so sure he was prepared for that. He’d already made the decision to become an Auror. He was sticking to that plan. What he did after, well, it was entirely up in the air.

His father was out of prison, and he knew that if news of her pregnancy reached him, she'd be in danger. Maybe not right away, but he knew that eventually Lucius would make the world right again. A world where his precious, pure-blood son hadn't fathered a half-blood bastard. That was a problem that wasn't going to disappear.

Honestly getting rid of the child would have been the best plausible scenario. There would be no danger. No fear. No baby to hide. Obviously, neither of them could stomach that now, not after everything they'd been through, so that was off the table completely. He didn't even want to think about it but he had to face the reality in front of him. She was keeping it so it would have to remain a secret for now. At least until they thought up a plausible plan.

 _Damn_.

He should have been more honest with her. He'd _told_ her it would be dangerous, sure, but had he said that it may  _never_  be safe _? He should have._ He had just wanted to comfort her, he hadn’t wanted her to be worried. He didn't want to see her in pain anymore. He didn't want to see that helpless look on her face as Harry-effing-Potter stormed off, and he didn't want her to be alone. So he'd promised her that he'd always be there.

It wasn't a lie necessarily. It wasn't the _truth_ either.

He would try his hardest to be what she needed him to be, but if there was any indication that her life would be in danger, he'd do what he had to do. Even if it meant hurting her in the process. He just hoped it would never have to come to that.

* * *

 

Hermione made her way to the Great Hall with Luna in tow. She hadn't slept much last night. She'd been too busy rehashing yesterday's events in her head. She still couldn't believe it. She'd rather hoped it had been a dream. It wasn't, of course. It had all happened. She'd told Draco, he'd come looking for her, and then Harry found out. The two boys fought, she’d cried, and Harry had stormed off. Draco had calmed her afterward and that she definitely hadn't expected, but she was grateful for it.

She was shocked that he'd been so understanding. Perhaps it hadn't sunken in yet. Maybe he was telling her what she wanted to hear. Or maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he did want to help her. Whichever the case, she was comforted by his words. But the thought that had plagued her most of the night wasn't about Draco at all. It was Harry. _Harry found out._ He'd been so angry. She hadn't seen him that angry in...well a long time.

After a long talk with Draco and Luna, on separate occasions, she had come to terms with the fact that she'd, in fact, done nothing wrong. She shouldn't feel guilty about what had transpired between her and the blonde. She _knew_ that. But try telling her conscious that.

She needed her friend’s support. She needed Harry to understand. If she was going to get through this, she wanted him at her side. He'd been there for the last seven years. She didn't want that friendship to end now. Not over this. Not when she needed him the most.

And then there was Ron. He didn't deserve this. He'd been so great lately. She'd just been too consumed with guilt to let him in. The saddest part about that was that he  _knew_. He knew something was wrong and he'd still tried to make things work. He'd been giving her space and helping her when she needed it. He'd been so kind. It only made this so much harder for her. She didn't want to hurt him. Merlin, she didn't want to see that smile disappear from his face again. But she just couldn't keep lying to him.

So she'd thought about it all damn night and now she was here, sitting in the great hall for breakfast, holding onto Luna's arm and praying to Godric that Harry hadn't said anything to Ron.

"Did you sleep alright?" Luna asked as they sat together at the table.

"Not really." She replied. "I've had a lot to think about. Everything is happening so fast."

"At least he didn't get angry." The blonde pointed out.

True. Draco hadn't gotten angry, but Harry was furious enough for the both of them. "Yes, I suppose you're right." She said and was about to go into more detail before a flash of brown hair and glasses caught her eye.

Her breath halted for a moment as he came down the center aisle and stopped behind her. She had feared this confrontation. "Hermione, we need to talk."

"Now?" She asked, suddenly frightened by what he had to say and not wanting to leave Luna's side.

"Preferably."

She looked over at the girl next to her but Luna just smiled. "Off you go."

Her eyebrows scrunched together but she nodded and got up from her seat. "Alright."

Harry lead her out into a deserted corridor. They stopped and stared at each other for a moment, neither uttering a single word. Never had there been a time where they were so uncomfortable in the others gaze.

Not being able to stand the strange feeling between them, Hermione took the first step. "So...what did you want to say?"

Harry shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. "I thought about it all night, Hermione and I've come to the conclusion that this isn't your fault."

"Have you now?" She scoffed.

"Yes." He said, keeping eye contact with her. "I was being a stubborn fool when I went off on you yesterday. I'm sorry for that. I guess I was just angry that you slept with Malfoy. I ran the situation through my mind many times and found that if it had been anyone else, even some random sixth year, I wouldn't have been as angry."

"So..you were mad at Malfoy?" It was more of a statement than a question. "I suppose that's fair. I'd be shocked and angry if I were you too."

"But that's just it, Hermione. I was shocked and angry, yes, but I didn't have to take it all out on you. You were acting on human nature. We all make mistakes. I realized that I shouldn't have treated you like you were some kind of slag. I know you aren't like that. Whatever happened between you and Malfoy in the past is your business. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions and hurt you."

"It's ok, Harry."

He shook his head. "No, it's really not. I should have let you explain. I should have listened. But I didn't. And I'm sorry. But I'm here now. I want to help you. I want to be here for you. I wasn't here when you needed me and you're suffering for it. I refuse to make that mistake again. I don't want to lose you, Hermione. So if you need me, I'm here."

She felt the tears coming again and she threw her arms around him.

Blast these hormones.

"Thanks, Harry." She cried into the crook of his neck. " I was so scared I'd lost you."

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

She felt the sensation of de-ja-vu as he spoke the words but she brushed it off. She was just glad she had her best friend back.

* * *

 

Blaise watched as Granger was led away by Potter. No doubt to discuss what Scarhead had overheard yesterday. He still couldn't believe it himself. Draco was completely beside himself. He couldn't blame him. The bloke had just found out he was going to be a father. A situation that would prove to be his downfall, if that letter was any indication.

Blaise had honestly been surprised to hear Draco talk about it. He knew he cared about Granger, loved her even, but to think he'd wanted her to keep the child, it was definitely a character growth on his part. At least now he knew why Granger had been so damn stubborn and Luna so secretive. He looked across the room and noticed that she was still present, eating her breakfast like Potter  _hadn't_  just dragged her friend from the table.

He wanted to talk to her but he didn't have much time to do so. If he waited for her to finish eating and leave the hall it may be too late. He'd have to wait until after DADA class to see her and that wouldn't be until the end of the day. He looked around at his housemates. They were all busy chatting amongst themselves and Draco had yet to come up from the room. No one was even paying him any attention. So without further thought on the matter, he rose from his seat and swaggered across the aisle, seating himself next to the blonde.

"Enjoying your breakfast, Lovegood?"

Blue eyes met brown ones. "Yes, it's quite good today."

He leaned closer to her, not caring about the looks he was getting from Finnegan. "You know, Draco told me about Granger." He whispered. "You don't have to keep the secret anymore, Luna. It's safe with me."

He could her shoulders slouch in relief. "How did he take it?" She asked, placing her fork on her napkin.

"Better than I expected."

"She needs him." She replied, turning her body so she could see him better. "Even if she says otherwise."

"I think he probably needs her just as much." He said. "He's been going through a lot. He seems...troubled."

She looked back to her plate and picked up her fork, taking another bite. "How so?"

"He's been...receiving a lot of letters."

"What kind of letters."

"It doesn't matter...I just...I'm just worried. He tends to turn off his emotions and-"

"I think you should give your friend more credit." She injected. "He's shown his worth, don't you think?"

He heard a cough and a few throats clear. He turned his attention those sitting around them. "Should I leave?" He asked her. "I mean, aren't you afraid your friends will think you're crazy for hanging out with a Slytherin?"

"It wouldn't be the first time they thought I was crazy." She stated, taking another bite.

He chuckled. It was true. She didn't get the ill-placed nickname for no reason.

"Luna, have you seen Hermion- What are the likes of you doing at our table?" Came a voice to the right.

He looked up and saw Ronald Weasley's frowning face staring down at him. "I thought I'd do a demonstration of house unity."

The Irishman scoffed at his left. “Eh, better excuse than Malfoy gave yesterday”

Ron frowned at the statement. "Well if you're finished with your little  _demonstration_  I suggest you go back to the snake pit that you came from." He jabbed. "Because I doubt Luna wants you pestering her while she eats."

"I asked him to sit with me, actually." She said standing up.

"What?"

"I'll have you know that while you were holding onto past grudges, some of us were making friends."

"You're friends with Zabini?" He asked calmly. "I mean, I know he's no Malfoy, but he's in Slytherin for a reason, Luna." He spoke the next part quietly. "They're only capable of hurting people."

"Then that's a risk I'm willing to take." She retorted, looking back at Blaise and smiling. "Walk me to class?"

"Sure." Blaise couldn't believe what he'd just witnessed. Luna Lovegood had stood up to her friends for him.

When they exited the Hall they caught sight of Granger hugging Potter a little ways down the corridor. "Looks like they made up."

She followed his gaze and nodded. "I knew they would." She said. "Harry has always been quick to forgive."

"Oh really?" He scoffed. "I always thought he was rather quick to judge."

"Maybe at first," She kept walking as she spoke. "But he realizes where he's gone wrong. He always looks out for his friends. It's a good trait to have. Very Gryffindor."

Blaise felt himself grin. "You know, you have that trait as well."

"Do I?" She asked whimsically. "I haven't really noticed."

"Just last week you stood me up in order to protect your friend. You care deeply for Granger. And I know you'd do anything to keep her safe. If that's not a Gryffindor sense of loyalty I don't know what is."

She stopped walked and turned to face him. "It's doleful how far we submerge ourselves into what our houses say we should be. In my opinion, we all have a bit of each house personality living inside of us. It may just be a spark, but it's there. It's waiting to show itself. The Gryffindor loyalty, the Ravenclaw intelligence, the Slytherin's craftiness, and the Hufflepuff's kindness, it's all there. Perhaps in small doses but I can see it. In Draco, in Harry," Her blue eyes peered into his. "And in you."

He was at a loss for words for a moment. Her revelation had hit him. She was right. How could they all have been so blind and naive? It was true. All of it. "You're the most amazing person I've ever met." He said after the admiration waned enough for him to speak.

She smiled back at him. "I don't know about all of that. But thank you."

"I mean it." He said, stepping closer to her. "You're amazing." He took this chance and brushed a piece of her blonde bangs out of her face. "And the sad part is, you don't even know it."

Her face tinted a shade of pink as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other. "Or maybe it's just because no one has said it."

"Well, I'll keep saying it." He replied. "I'll say it as much as I have to, to make you understand."

She found his eyes again and this time, she didn't look away. "What is it you want me to understand?"

"That despite what others may say about you, you're beautiful and intelligent and I want to get to know you on a more personal level."

Not a word was spoken between them for a few minutes. They just stood alone in the hall, bodies close enough to almost touch, staring at each other.

Blaise was the first one to break the silence. "Well?" He pushed forward cautiously. "Don't you have anything to say?"

"I think you are beautiful and intelligent too." She said with a bright smile before they were interrupted by Hermione calling Luna's name.

The blonde witch had waved and headed down the hall to meet her friend. And all the while he watched her go, letting his eyes drift to her plump little arse and not feeling the least bit guilty for it.

Then he remembered her response to his impromptu minor confession. He chuckled despite himself. Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of answer he'd expected, but then again, he'd forgotten just who it was he was talking too. He was going to have to learn to decode her words and respond appropriately from now on.

Luna couldn't be one hundred percent positive that Blaise Zabini had confessed some sort of feelings for her, but she was certain that what had just transpired was definitely of the romantic sort.

She also knew that she wasn't quite ready to pursue that type of relationship with the man, but for a moment there, she'd wanted to do nothing more but kiss him.

* * *

 

**_Friday, November 6, 1998_ **

Draco hadn't talked to her all day. He'd barely spoken to her yesterday either. When they did talk, it was solely about what they were going to do. They had decided that they both wanted to keep this a secret for now, and he agreed to stay away until she spoke with the Weasel.

Which was better for her and better for him.

The last thing they needed was all of Hogwarts to find out.

That would cause too much chaos. And chaos was something he couldn't handle right now.

He just needed time to think things through.

* * *

 

**_Saturday, Novemeber 7, 1998_ **

"We need to talk, mate."

Draco glared from his spot in front of the fireplace. "What about?"

"You've hardly spoken three words to me the last five days."

"Your point?"

"What are you going to do about Granger?"

"Until she talks to Weasley, nothing. All I can do is wait."

"Is that code word for 'you're in over your head and have no idea'?"

Draco sighed. "Why do you always deem it so important that you know every aspect of my life, Blaise?"

"No need to be so defensive." Blaise frowned. "I'm just looking out for you."

"I know." He replied, turning back to the crackling fire. "I'm just not in a talkative mood at the moment."

"That's fine. Just promise me you won't close yourself off again."

Draco shifted uncomfortably but relented. "You can't solve my problems for me, mate. No matter how hard you try."

"I know that, alright?" He shot back. "I know I can't come in here and tell you what to say or do. I can't tell you how to live your life or how to figure it all out. Only you can make those decisions. But If you want to discuss what's going on with Granger and this pregnancy, then I'll listen. I know it's a lot to process at the moment, and I know you're struggling. You can't hide it, and you can't run from it. I can see it in your eyes, even when you wear that mask of yours."

He watched as Draco frowned.

"I guess I just wanted you to know that."

Silence passed between them and the only sound that could be heard was the wood in the fireplace shifting.

Then Draco spoke two words. The only two words that needed to be said. "Thank you."

* * *

 

**_Sunday, November 8, 1998_ **

Harry listened in silence as Ron talked about life after Hogwarts.

"George is doing alright I suppose." He was saying. "But he needs me. We have a lot of plans for the shop."

Harry knew all about Ron and George's plans for Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes. Harry knew all about what Ron wanted to do. He knew he wanted to get his own flat and he knew he wanted to work for the Ministry after things were settled at the shop. He'd known all his friend’s plans and dreams. But what he hadn't expected to hear where his next seven words.

"-then I'll ask her to marry me."

"What?"

He knew Ron loved her. He knew Ron wanted to marry her. But he had no idea that he was willing to talk marriage in less than a years time.

But Ron didn't know.

He didn't...

Harry couldn't do this anymore.

"Something wrong?" The redhead asked as Harry's face paled.

"Nothing...I just.." He stammered. "I gotta go."

Ron frowned in confusion. "Sure."

Harry didn't even pause at the door. He just couldn't do it. He couldn't sit there and listen to his friends future plans without feeling guilt rise up inside of him.

He hoped Hermione would tell him soon. He knew if she didn't confess, he'd have to be the one to tell. And he wasn't entirely sure he was up for the task.

Shit.

Ron had no idea what was about to hit him.

* * *

 

**_Later_ **

Ron knew something was up. First, it was Hermione, with her mood swings and somber attitude. Now it was Harry.

One day he'd been fine, joking around and having a good time with him, and then next he'd been clammed up. He wouldn't say much of anything. And for the last few days he'd been spending more time with Hermione than Ron did. Everyone was spending more time with Hermione that Ron was. It was a fact that bothered him, though he didn't let her know. She was dealing with her grief in a strange way, but who was he to tell her how to grieve?

He just wished she would talk to him. Let him know what was wrong. Let him know she was ok. He wanted her to trust him like she trusted Harry. He hated to admit it, but he was starting to feel the way he had when that damned Horcrux was around his neck. He was jealous. Of Harry.

It was absurd, of course, but it didn't stop him from feeling it. But instead of lashing out he remained calm and tried his best to keep his head. He picked up the guitar his father had sent him a few weeks ago and started to play. It always helped calm him when he was feeling upset. It cheered him up when he was feeling lonely. Perhaps it could cheer Hermione up? Maybe then she'd tell him what was wrong.

* * *

 

**Monday, November 9, 1998**

Hermione had had enough. She was tired. Tired of the anxious feeling in her gut and the unending fear of the unknown. She wasn't eating, and she definitely wasn't sleeping. By the looks of Harry, he hadn't been sleeping either. She'd know if he had been. He'd been spending nearly all his time with her. Almost like he was afraid that he'd spill the secret if she wasn't around. Ginny had even asked if he was feeling ill. He'd insisted that he was fine and that she shouldn't worry.

Harry was looking just as guilty as she was. She wasn't the only one carrying this burden. She had to release them both. It was time. If she didn't do it now, she'd wait to the point where their relationship would have no way of mending.

"Harry?" Hermione's voice shook as she called his name.

Harry, who had been quietly doing homework beside her glanced over at her, a concerned look on his face. "What is it?"

"I want to tell Ron. I need to tell him." She said. "But, I don't want to do it alone."

That's all he needed to hear. Relief washed over him as he took her hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. This would all be over soon. "I'll go with you. I'm sure he'll understand. Once we explain it."

"Like you understood?"

He cringed. "Yes, well. I let my disbelief and anger take over."

"He's going to hate me."

"Yes." Harry said, and when she gave him a distraught look he continued. "But not forever. You got to understand this is going to hurt him."

"I know. That’s why I've put it off." She looked down at the table. "He loves me," she breathed. "And I love him, but I can't keep lying."

"So let's just do it." He said, standing up quickly. "Ron's in our dorm right now."

"On second thought, perhaps I should wait."

"I'll be with you, Hermione." Harry reassured her. "It'll be ok."

"Alright." She replied. "Let's go."

When they arrived in the dorm room Ron was playing a muggle guitar, a goofy smirk on his face.

He looked up when they entered and called out to them. "My dad sent it." He said, strumming a few strings. "It's beautiful isn't it? "

"Yes, Ron." Harry stated, taking a seat on his bed. "But do you even know how to play?"

"It's not that hard. I've been practicing." He returned, bringing his attention back to the instrument in his lap. "I'm getting quite good, I'd say." He looked up at Harry. "Where have you been lately? I feel like you've both been avoiding me like the plague."

Hermione sat down at the desk and spun the chair around to face them. "There's just been a lot on my mind."

"Same." Harry agreed.

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "If you say so. I just wish you'd let me know what's going on."

"Sorry, Ron." Hermione replied quietly. Her anxiety was spiking, but Ron took no notice of her fidgeting and looked over at her, a smile on his face.

"It's alright. You're here now. And I've been writing a song for you, Hermione. When it's finished I can sing it and play it if you want. I know you've been feeling down. I thought it might cheer you up."

Of all the days for Ron to be a sweetheart. Maybe she could just hold out a bit longer. He looked so damn happy with that guitar in his hand.

She shook her head.

 _No_.

If she didn't do it now, she never would.

"Ron," She said after a moment. "You said you wanted to know what has been going on with me." She looked up at him. "Do you still want to know?"

"Of course, Hermione." He replied, his face lighting up and his hands moving to place the guitar on the bed next to him. "I've been waiting...just like you asked. Giving you space. But I want to help." His eyes trailed to her hands, which were now wringing together. "Let me help you."

"This isn't something that you can fix. It may destroy our friendship to the point that I would never be able to mend it." She told him. "I've put off telling you because I'm afraid that you're never going to forgive me."

"What are you on about?" He asked, his voice taking on a more serious tone.

"Ron, there's no easy way to say this..." She bit her lip before progressing. "So I'll just spit it out." She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm sorry. Really I am! Please know I didn't mean for it to happen. Merlin...I didn't want it to be this way. But there's no turning back-"

"-You're scaring me, 'Mione."

"-I'm...pregnant."

Instead of the angry outburst she was expecting, he laughed. "Funny joke, Hermione. You had me worried for a minute there. But seriously, what's going on?"

"I  _am_ being serious, Ron." She said not meeting his gaze.

"But we never…." She couldn't look at his face when it hit him. "You're joking. Please tell me you're bloody joking!" He jumped up scaring the wits out of her, and his face turning a dark shade of red.

"I wish I was," She admitted, "but I'm not."

"You…you _cheated_ on me?" It came out in half scream half cry.

"No!" She yelped. "No! It happened before we made up. I didn't even know I was pregnant when I told you we could work it out."

Despite the fact that it was true and that they had been apart during the time of her flings with Draco, it didn't hurt any less to see his face distorted, a mix between anger and hurt.

"How far along?" he asked after a moment. as if it would explain everything.

Quietly she answered, "Fourteen weeks. I’m just out of the first trimester.”

His eyes drifted to Harry, anger flashing through them a bit before they fell back on her. "Who…whose baby is it?"

"Ron." Harry’s voice was calm as he slowly inched closer to the angry boy. They both knew that this was where it got sticky.

The red head looked hard at Harry. “Don’t, Harry.” He seemed to choke on his next words. “Please don’t tell me it’s yours. I don’t know what I’ll do if it is.”

Harry blinked in shock before he replied, “No. No, of course, it’s not mine. I’d never, _we’d_ never do that.”

Momentary relief flooded his face.  “Thank Merlin for small favors.” He said with a forced laugh. It sounded almost deranged. “Then if it isn’t yours then who does it belong to?”

Hermione felt sick. If he was that angry over thinking it was Harry’s, she didn’t want to know how pissed he would be when he learned who the father really was. ”Ron, please just stay cal-“

He wasn’t listening. “Who!"

She prepared herself and took a breath, “It’s…it’s Draco’s. It belongs to Draco.”

“Draco?" He asked slowly, his face reddening further as the realization sunk in. “As in Draco Malfoy?” She nodded and watched as his hands balled into fists at his side. “It's  _Malfoy's?_!" He screamed as he headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked standing up, prepared to follow him.

"Where do you think I'm going? I'm going to kill the fucking prick."

"You can't!"

He spun around to face her. "And why the hell not? Why can't I go after the bastard that forced himself on my girlfriend and knocked her up?"

She fought to keep her anger in check. Why did everyone around here think that Malfoy was a rapist? "He didn't...He didn’t force me, Ron."

Mouth open in disbelief he said, "Excuse me?"

"He didn't force me." She said firmly. "It was consensual."

Those words were all it took. He wasn't going to listen now. All hell was breaking loose. "You fucked him  _willingly_? Have you gone _mad_?" He yelled at her. "He's our enemy!" He took a menacing step forward. "You've gone and done this time. I knew something was up when you fucking kissed him at that party but to think...I can't _believe_ this!"

"It's not-"

"How long has this been going on, Hermione?" He asked. "How long have you been fucking him behind my back? A few weeks? Or has it been even longer?”

“What? No. Why would you even think that?”

“Well, what am I supposed to think, what with you being his bleeding advocate when Harry suspected him of being a Death Eater and all. I always wondered why. Maybe you’ve been fucking him behind our backs for years?”

The accusation stung. She hadn’t even thought of that, but she could see his reasoning behind it. “I can’t believe you are even considering that.”

“Why? I find out you’re cheating on me with him, how am I supposed to know when it fucking started?”

 "It’s only been a few months and I haven't slept with him since we got back together. I broke it off!"

"So, that day in Hogsmeade." She knew where this was going and she bit her lip. "You didn't _do_ anything with him, then?"

"I told you. He was asking a question."

"Yeah, your face gets all flushed when I ask you questions too."

"That's not fair!"

"No, _you're_ not fair!" He screamed at her. "You fucked one of our biggest rivals! And you _lied_ about it! You lied to _me_! You had every opportunity to tell me, but you didn't. And now you come in here and tell me you're _pregnant_?" His face scrunched up painfully. "You're having that bastards child, and what? I'm supposed to just be _ok_ with that? You expect me to just let accept it and move on? Well, I won’t. That was supposed to be my dream! Mine. That child you’re carrying was supposed to be _mine_! But you had to go, and open your legs to that, that, disgusting Death Eater."

Harry, seeing how the fight was escalating, got between his two best friends. "Ron, calm down!"

"And _you_ , you knew about this?" Ron asked Harry, his scowl deepening.

"Just a few days." He admitted. "I didn't tell you, Ron, because it wasn't my place."

"Fuck me." He ran his hands through his red locks angrily. "I've been had by my best mates. I can't trust anyone."

"Please, just let me explain!" She pleaded.

"Explain what, Hermione? You think I want to hear about how you got it on with that  _snake_?" He hissed.

"No…you don't understand.."

"I love you! Don't you get that?" He interrupted. "I made a mistake. I've made many mistakes, too many to count. I did wrong by you, but I've repented for it! I've tried so hard to be the man you want me to be. So Why! Tell me why the hell would you do this to me? Why would you take my dream away?"

"I didn't intend-"

"It's  _Malfoy_ , Hermione.  _Fucking_  Malfoy! Don't you  _remember_  what he did? Don't you remember all the vile things he's done to you, to Harry, and to me! He just  _stood_  there and watched you being tortured! He did  _nothing_. He listened to your screams and he did nothing. He's a coward and a bloody low life! He was a fucking  _Death Eater_  for Godric's sake. He's hated you his whole damned life! And you’re having his  _baby_?" His eyes were shining with angry tears and she could tell he was becoming more and more hysterical with every passing moment. "How could you even do that?!"

"I wasn't thinking. I was, I don't know...lost." She whispered. "Besides, he's  _different_  now."

"Oh, different yeah? A great bloke is he?" He spat. "Or just a good fuck? Did he make you squeal like a stuck pig?" Tears sprang in her eyes but he didn't stop. "Was he even the only one? Or did he pass you around to all his little Slytherin buddies? Bet he made you beg for it like a whore too didn't he? Bloody disgusting."

The sound of a slap resonated throughout the room. "How dare you, Ronald Weasley!" She cried. "You've been with your fair share of girls over the years and I stood by and watched silently while you did whatever you wanted. I kept quiet about it. But I won't be patronized for doing the same. I won't let you judge me for sleeping with him while your dick was elsewhere!" And with that Hermione ran past him, slamming the door behind her.

Ron stood still for a moment, shocked about what she'd just said and done. Harry shook his head and scowled. "I can't believe you said that to her. You know how hard it was for her to come here and tell you that?"

Ron rubbed his cheek. "She bloody deserved it."

"No, she didn't." He said, moving away from him to follow after Hermione, "And for your sake, I hope you come to your senses before you loose her for good."

* * *

 

**_Ministry of Magic_ **

Kingsley stared out the window at the setting sun. It had been a cool, clear day. The sky had been blue and void of clouds, perfect as far as skies go. He only wished the day had been as perfect as the sky.

Unsolved murders were on the rise and the Death Eaters they'd been chasing had disappeared without a bloody trace. One of his Aurors had been injured in the minor battle that had taken place and was recuperating at St. Mungo's. They were short staffed before the incident and now they were down one more man. It had been a horrible day. It should have rained. That would have set the mood.

'What's on your mind?" Nathan called from the doorway.

Kingsley sighed and without tearing his gaze from the sunset answered, "What isn't on my mind, Nathan?" The older man shook his head. "We don't have enough Aurors to capture all the remaining Death Eater factions. We barely have enough men to run the Ministry as it is and we've had no further leads regarding the murder investigations. Not to mention the fact that I've had that blood-sucker, Rita Skeeter breathing down my neck for a fortnight. It's been a right miracle that I've kept most of this mess out of the  _Prophet_."

"They aren't making it easy on you, are they?"

Kingsley turned around to face him. "No, they most certainly are not." He slumped down into his chair and beckoned the man to sit down at the smaller chair in front of him. He folded his arms across his broad chest and after a few moments of silence began, "You know, it would have been a far greater task had you not joined us."

Nathan smiled out of the corner of his mouth. "I'm only one man."

"A great man." The minister replied with a nod of approval. "And a great Auror. Your father would be proud."

"I thank you for your kindness, Sir, but I deserve no such praise."

"Come now, Nathan, why must you always be so formal?" For the first time that night he allowed himself to smile. "I've known you for years."

"Well, I like to keep it strictly professional in the workplace," He said, laying one elbow on the desktop and leaning upon his hand. "Minister."

"Yes, that's that Dearborn trait kicking in; always following protocol. I see the makings of a great leader in you, boy."

The brown haired man cocked an eyebrow. "What are you getting at?"

Kingsley let out a booming laugh that seemed to reverberate through his chest. "I should have known I couldn't pull one over on you." He shook a finger at him. "You're far too intelligent. You didn't make Head Detective on your good looks."

"Again, you're too kind." Nathan replied. "But honestly, what is you want?"

The laughter in Kinglsey's eyes faded and the man leaned forward, all foolhardiness leaving his face in an instance. "I want you to train the Hogwarts group."

"All of them?" The other man nodded. "Why me?"

"You've done a marvelous job with Mr. Lexington, and the lad before that. You're the best one for this job, Nathan. You're a natural leader. You get things done and bring out the potential in others that they may not have seen before. I want you to be the one to watch over Potter and Longbottom." Kinglsey insisted. "And since you talked Lee into enlisting the help of the young Malfoy heir, I want you to personally see to his training."

"But I-" He tried to protest but was cut off.

"The decision is final."

"Sir, I must object."

Kingsley shook his head sadly. "I'm asking this as a friend." He said. "But if I must, I can demand it of you as your Minister."

Nathan remained stone-faced and silent.

"Please, you're one of the only few I can trust."

"Then as your friend," Nathan sighed and looked the man in the eye. "I accept."

**_Chapter revised_ **

 


	20. Too Good To Be True

 

**Monday, November 9, 1998**

She couldn't quell the turbulence raging within her heart. The anger had already taken her captive, and she was done fighting it. Instead of keeping it at bay she let it drive her forward, down the hall and as far away from Ron as she could get.

She just couldn't believe what she'd heard come out of his mouth. Sure, she'd been witness to his spats and he was known to cause a ruckus with his quick temper, but when the insults were being thrown her way it was different. She didn't realize how much his words could affect her.

She'd gone in there knowing he'd be upset. She'd gone knowing he'd be angry; knowing he'd despise her even. She'd been prepared for all that. It was only natural. He had no inkling of what was going on and she'd just come and turned his world upside down.

Denial. Anger. Hurt. She'd known it would end that way. She'd told him she was having another man’s child. His rival's child. Anyone normal person would want to punch a hole through the wall. She'd half expected him to do just that. But what she _hadn’t_  expected, and had no idea how to prepare for, was the verbal attack against Malfoy.

For once in her life, she'd been near speechless. And she couldn't even fathom the reason why.

What he'd said was true. Draco  _had_  been a Death Eater. He had killed people, and he was still just as snarky, arrogant, and pigheaded as ever. There was no denying that, but when Ron had chosen to point out all the other boys flaws, she'd snapped. Ron didn't know, he  _couldn't_  know, what she felt when she was with Malfoy. She'd seen another side of him, one she was sure no one else had the privilege to see, even Blaise. Hermione had gotten a glimpse of the Draco inside the Malfoy, and she couldn't forget him.

When she closed her eyes she could still see the broken boy; drunk and alone on the floor, wishing his life hadn't taken this turn. She could still feel the tension in his arms, and the reluctance in his voice as he told her how he'd crucio'd and murdered people. She could feel the guilt almost rippling off of him. And in the end, after all the pain and anger he'd shown her, he smiled. He'd smiled at her. He'd taken her in his warm embrace and made her feel alive. He'd let that Malfoy exterior melt away and he'd shown her Draco. The one that had a heart. The one that laughed at the irony of it all. The one that kissed her passionately and let her cry on his chest. The one that held a warmth in his eyes that he tried to hide when he was looking at her.

None of them could imagine the things she felt when she saw him. When she saw his face, no matter what expression he wore -be it contempt, indifference, or annoyance, - she knew there was more to him. There had to be. The moments they shared, however brief and fleeting, were real.

And nothing Ron said would change that.

* * *

 

He could still see her dark silhouette retreating down the hall ahead of him. "Hermione!" Harry called out her name, but she didn't turn back. "Hermione, I know you can hear me! Stop!"

She didn't.

Instead, she kept her pace, face forward in an almost sprint towards the staircase.

He knew she was hurting. How could she not be? Ron had never been quite as graceful with his words as the rest of them.

Harry understood why he'd reacted that way. He was angry, resentful, and hurt. He also knew that Ron didn't mean half the things he'd said, but he'd still said them. He didn't know what he'd done when he'd turned Hermione away. She wasn't stable right now. The level headed witch who nit picked and planned out everything to the tiniest detail, was no longer here. She was just as hot headed and reckless as they were. Now was not the time to be calling each other names. They had to figure this out, for Hermione's sake.

Harry wasn't going to stand by and let his best friend be lost to him forever. He had to talk to them. He had to make them see reason. If they kept fighting like this everything would fall apart.

"Hermione!" He repeated, louder this time. "Let's talk about this." He caught up to her quickly, and grabbed her arm.

She spun around to face him, pulling her arm out of his grasp in the process. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Listen, Ron's just angry right now. He'll come around. He always does."

"This time is different, Harry. Did you see his face? He won't get over this in a drop of a bloody hat! And what about  _my_  feelings? He can't just say what he damn well wants. I'm through with his double standards."

How could he make her understand? "You were both angry. It won't be like this forever. Give it a week and you'll see."

"You and I both knew this wouldn't work out in a positive manner." She replied sadly. "I was naïve to think otherwise."

"No, you weren't. There's hope still."

"For what, Harry? For him to forgive me?" Her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears, tears she was trying so desperately to hide. "Or for me to crawl back to him on my hands and knees; apologizing over and over again for something I'm not entirely sure I'm sorry about?"

He shook his head. That is not what he'd been trying to say at all. "No one is telling you to do that. I'm just saying that we should calm down a bit. Think things through. He'll realize his mistakes. It was wrong of him to say those things about you."

"No, it wasn't." She sighed, glancing down the hallway. "Most of what he said was true. I did betray him. I betrayed you both. I can overlook those things."

"Then what's the bloody problem?" He asked, locking eyes with her. "Why did you storm off?"

Her eyes, her face, and even the muscles in her arms softened. "I realize you have no way of knowing, but Malfoy isn't the monster you both make him out to be."

It was beginning to sink in. "Where were you going, Hermione?” He asked. “When you left?"

She gave him a puzzled look. "I was going back to my dorm."

He could tell she was lying. He could see the violence in her eyes. Ron had just given her every reason to run away. "You were going to  _him_  weren't you?"

"What's it matter to you?" She asked, her anger suddenly returning. "The last time I checked you were my  _friend_ , not my mother."

"That's lovely coming from you. I just helped you break the news to-"

"I know! I know you helped me. I know you _want_ to help me, but there are some things that you _can't_ help me with."

"Be that as it may, going to Malfoy is  _not_  the answer." He said with a shake of his head. "You may think he's changed, but I don't believe that for a second. He's not good for you."

"Don't." She warned through gritted teeth. "Don't act like you know everything."

"I know enough." He replied rather harshly. "I know that he's up to something and I don't trust him with you. Just because Ron's being a wanker doesn't mean you have to rush back to Malfoy. He doesn't love you. Not like we do."

"Yes, you both love me  _so_  much." She mocked. "That's why you practically crucified me the moment you learned I was shagging Malfoy!"

"I was shocked! That's all. And who wouldn't be? This is insane!"

"Insane? Yes. I'm quite the nutter now, aren't I?"

Harry knew it was pointless now. He was fighting a losing battle. Anything he said would be twisted around. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

She frowned.

"I care about you, Hermione. I'm your best friend, and I don't want you to get hurt because you put your trust in the wrong person."

The last thing she said before she disappeared down that hall was, "Who are you to tell me who to trust?"

* * *

 

To say that Draco had devised a plan would be selling him short. He hadn't come up with a  _single_  plan, he'd taken the time and energy to muster up at least four. While Hermione was playing hide and seek with him and the Weasel, he was getting headaches running endless scenarios through his sleep deprived mind. He'd taken many things into consideration, including if her decision was to remain with Weasley or in the event that his father was to find out about their little transgression.

Plan A left him without the responsibility of the infant. He'd have no name claim on the child and would most likely stay out of its life altogether. This would happen in Hermione's fairy tale world, one where sodding Weasley would step in and raise the child as his own. He knew it would be the best case scenario all around. No one would get hurt and there would be no sticky mess to clean up. He would be off the hook and his father none the wiser. Though he would probably see to it that the child would want for nothing. After all, he _was_ the biological father.

Where Plan A had him completely out of the picture, Plan B had him in the child's life but with a bit of room to breathe. This would apply if Hermione wanted nothing to do with either man. Knowing her, this would probably be what happened. She was far to independent and stubborn to rely on anyone but herself. Not that he blamed her. He would be hesitant in her shoes too.

Plan C, he shan't dare admit, was his heart's desire. In  _his_  perfect world, it works out fine. But he knew there was no room for wishful thinking. Even if she came to him, asked for his help, even if this was what they _both_ wanted, it would be risky. A relationship between the two of them was Plan C. To live with them, to support them, to play the role as "father", was the sweetest and the most dangerous choice. One he knew he would never be up to him. For one she'd never go for it. And there was also the fact that the wizardry world would never let them be.

And then there was a plan when all others failed.

Plan D.

If Lucius Malfoy, or any other wizard or witch, with the intentions to end all muggle born bloodlines, were to get wind of his half-blood heir, he would have to take immediate action. This plan would send Hermione and the child to another country, America or Italy perhaps, to ensure their safety. Depending on the circumstances, he might even go with them; create new identities, he'd do whatever it took. He knew Hermione would never agree or succumb to this plan. She would never want to leave her friends, and he also knew she would never believe him if he told her how dangerous it really was at the moment. She had no idea what nasty schemes were being planned as she worried about what to tell her precious Weasley.

Honestly, he felt that if he left it up to Hermione, the child would already be making their entrance before she figured it all out. As brilliant as she was, she wasn't inept in handling this situation. He may not know a thing about pregnancy, but he  _did_ know her hormones were the decision makers at the moment. His mind was clear as crystal. So this left  _him_  to deal with the consequences of their actions and take precautions on his own time. He couldn't afford to trust her with everything quite yet. Keeping her in the dark was the safest thing to do.

He sighed and scratched his forehead. The nights were long and homework was endless. He should be studying or something. He grabbed his favorite quill and took out a piece of parchment. There was an essay due in at least two of his classes and time was slipping away from him.

No sooner had he written two pages, when he had to put down his quill. He had almost forgotten what it meant to have that burning sensation against his leg. He quickly stuck his hand in his pocket to retrieve the coin.

 _R.O.R_ was all it said.

He inhaled deeply and took a long look at the pile of unfinished assignments before giving up and rising from the desk.

She never did have the best timing in the world.

"Come to tell me you're getting married to Weasley, are you?" He asked upon entering the room. Her back was turned toward him and he couldn't see her face at all.

"Why do you always do that?" He picked up a hint of anger in her voice. "Act like you know what I'm going to say?"

"Because I  _know_  what you're going to say, Granger." He replied, coming closer to her still frame. "You're always so predictable. 'We can't do this anymore, Malfoy.' 'We're too different, Draco.' 'Stop making this so hard for me.'" He mocked. "It's always the same rubbish. Though I tend to agree for the most part. You are quite difficult to deal with." He let a small chuckle escape.

She turned on him, eyes furious. "You think this is funny?" She screeched. "You think this situation calls for a few good laughs?"

Draco's smirk vanished. "No-"

"I'm  _pregnant_ , Draco." She continued, the anger never waning from her voice. "This isn't funny. I'm having a baby. A  _baby_. And now Ron knows, Harry knows, and in about a month the whole sodding school is going to know!"

"I know. I'm sorry. I made a bad joke."

"You don't understand how serious this is."

Now it was his turn to frown. "You're an idiot if you believe that." He said. "I know how serious this is. You are having  _my_ child, remember? If you think I haven't lost sleep over this then you're quite mistaken my dear."

"Not as much as I have, I'm sure." She replied with a huff. "You don't get it. You may think you do, but you don't. You don't see the bigger picture here. Because  _I'm_  the one having the baby. Nothing is going to change for you. You get to walk around like nothing happened. No one is going to stare or question you. I'm the one that's going to gain weight. I'm the one who's going to get all the condescending looks. I'm the one that's going to be walking around with a watermelon under my robes and sooner or later I'm going to have to tell everyone. I won't be able to hide it. Everyone will start asking me a billion questions, and how the hell am I going to deal with that, huh? You aren't going to be here. You won't have to look these people in the face and lie or act like everything is ok. What am I going to say when people as me who it belongs to? I know you won't want me saying it's yours." She continued, unphased by the growing irritation on his face. "So what I am I supposed to do?! I'm not ready for this, Draco. And it's me that has to do it. I'm the one staying here. I'm the one that's going to be taking on all the gossip. I'm the one doing this alone. Not  _you_.  _Me_."

He didn't let a moment escape before angrily replying, "You really think that you're all alone in this?! I assure you that is not the case. I am dealing with this too, Hermione. It's not just  _you_." He took a deep breath when he realized he was shouting. "This whole time I've done  _nothing_  but think about you and the baby." He continued, more quietly this time. "I don't want to stand idly by and let you do this by yourself. And even if you're right about me not wanting everyone to know it's mine, it's only because my father can't know." She frowned but he shrugged it off. "It's not that I don't  _want_  to claim it. Now if this would have happened a year ago it would have been a totally different story but I'm not that scared little boy anymore."

He turned from her for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Maybe at the beginning of this I was. I know I've acted childish, Hermione. It's not like I can deny it. But I've made the decision to grow up. I know the child is mine. You know it's mine. Isn't that what truly matters? It doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. It's none of their business. And while I admit I'm not in a hurry to publicly claim it, It's only because I want to protect you. I don't want anything to happen to the baby because of me. So you're wrong about it not affecting me." He moved forward and cupped her cheek with his hand. "It  _does_ affect me. I struggle every day with the reality that I can't just think about me anymore. So I really don't appreciate you acting like you're the only one concerned here. I'm the father. I'm concerned too."

She took a step back and his hand fell. She knew he was right. She just couldn't help herself. It was like she had no control over her body or emotions anymore. "I know. I know. You're concerned. I can see it. I'm sorry. I didn't come here to yell at you. I didn't mean to get so angry."

"So if you didn't come here to rant at me like a bloody loon, what  _did_  you come here for?"

She rolled her eyes at the jab.

"Well?"

She closed her eyes and after a moment let it out. "I told Ron."

His eyebrow raised slightly. "So I guess that means Weasley wasn't too thrilled to find out?"

She shook her head in defeat. "I've seen Ron angry, but never like that." She frowned. "It's not likely he'll ever truly forgive me."

"By the look on your face, I'm not so sure you want him to."

She made a disgusted face much to his surprise. "Perhaps I don't care what the pig-headed bastard thinks anymore."

"Come now." Draco chided, taking a seat on the bed. "What could the Weasel have _possibly_ said to make you feel that way?" There was a playful glint in his eyes that she didn't miss. "You're used to being called names by now, so I assume that a mere "slag" or "whore" wouldn't phase you." When she didn't respond his smile faded. "Or perhaps words cut deeper than I thought?"

She sighed and sank down onto the mattress next to him. "It wasn't the names that made me so angry." She said. "For the most part, I believe I deserved every name and accusation he threw at me."

"Well, I don't know about-"

"I deserved it, Draco." She insisted firmly. "What we did warrants a few names. That wasn't the issue."

"Then what was?"

"It wasn't what he  _said_  about me." She didn't look at him. She didn't want him to know she got so angry because Ron was trashing Draco. She would never live it down.

"Hermione?" He called, leaning toward her. "What's wrong? If it wasn't something he said...what did he do?"

"Draco I can't-"

The softness in his voice vanished and his angry tone returned. He jumped up. "If he put his hands on you I-"

"He didn't touch me." She cried, grabbing his arm before he could dash out of the room. "Ron is many things but he isn't abusive."

"Well, that depends on what you classify as abuse." He retorted.

She stood back up and moved in front of him. She couldn't let him do anything stupid. "Calm down. Don't you know how silly you look right now?" She asked with a smile.

He honestly didn't think he looked silly at all. "You find me amusing?"

"When you look like you're about to skin someone alive for no reason, yes."

"It's not for a lack of reason. I have  _plenty_  of reasons for wanting to skin Weasley. He hurt you. And that is enough cause."

This was going nowhere. The last thing she needed was for them to start a fight with each other. "It's not justice, Draco. Ron may have insinuated that I’m a whore, and yes it may have stung a bit, but he was hurting. I hurt him. He has every right to be angry."

"Then why were you so upset?"

"No reason."

"If you don't tell me then I'm going to assume I need to kick his arse."

"Now you're threatening me?"

"If that's what it takes, then yes."

Her eyes narrowed as she stared him down. "I can't believe you're using that sort of tactic against me."

"I shouldn't have to. You should  _want_  to tell me what's bothering you."

That little bubble of anger was flaring up again. Gods, why was he so irritating? "You don't have to know everything."

"I'm not asking you to tell me every little detail."

"Why can't you just drop it?" She pleaded, not wanting to fight with him again. "Please just let it go."

"I can't just let it go."

"Try."

"Why are you being so damn stubborn?!"

She let out a half-crazed laugh as she moved away from him. "Me?  _I'm_  being stubborn?" She pointed a finger his way. "You're the one nagging."

"Nagging?" He shot back. "I'm not nagging. Is it such a sodding crime to want to know what happened?"

"YES!"

"Why? What don't you want me to know? What are you hiding that's so bad that you can't let me hear it? Tell me." He asked again as he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her into him. "Tell me what he said about you to make you act like this."

"It wasn't about me!" She snapped, tears springing into her eyes again. "It was about you!"

His eyes showed how surprised he was as he let his hands drop from her arms. "It was about me? You were angry because of me?"

"Not because of you, idiot." She replied, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "Because of what he said about you. Calling me names was fine. But for some reason when he...said that about you...I just snapped."

"What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter. It wasn't true."

"Hey, now."

She turned her back to him. "I'm so tired, Draco. I'm tired of fighting with everyone. I'm tired of the yelling and the lying. I'm _so_ tired and I feel _so_ out of control. Like I'm not myself. I just can't do this anymore. I'm not strong enough."

He wrapped his arms around her and nestled he chin in the crook of her neck. Her hair was everywhere, against his cheek, tickling his ear; but he didn't care. All he cared about was making the girl in front of him feel better. "Now who's the silly one?" He cooed. "You rode a dragon, outsmarted Umbridge, and spent all of your free time-saving The Chosen One's arse. You are the strongest person I know." He smiled into her neck. "You will get through this."

She untangled his arms from around her and turned to face him. "How do you know?"

He gave her one of his famous half smirks and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Because you're Hermione Jean Granger, and you're the bravest girl I've ever met."

"I think you've been hitting the whiskey a little too hard, sir." She laughed and he hugged her to his chest.

"Ha ha. You're full of jokes." He sighed. "Just promise me something will you?"

Her answer was muffled by the fabric of his shirt, but he could still make out a yes.

"The next time you feel lonely, find me." He whispered. "Don't drown out your sorrows alone."

* * *

 

It took awhile for Ron to realize that he was alone. Only a moment ago he'd been the happiest guy in the world. He'd had everything he could ask for, give or take a few bumps in the road, but he was making things work. His future looked bright, indeed. And then a tsunami by the name of Malfoy swept that future away.

He slumped down onto his bed, his fingers digging their way into his scalp. Hermione was pregnant with Malfoy's child. Malfoy's. Not  _his_.  _Malfoy's_. The thought of it made him sick. How could that despicable excuse for a human being, lay his hands on something as innocent and beautiful, as Hermione? How could she have let him? To make matters worse, there was now  proof of that indiscretion.

It just wasn't fair! This wasn't the Hermione he knew at all. She was someone different. The girl he'd come to know and love would never go behind her friend's backs and sleep with the enemy. Never in a million years would she do something so sick and twisted as doing it with Malfoy. Godric, he wanted to puke.

He'd never felt anger this intense before. Every bone in his body wanted to rush out the door and snap that little blonde bastards neck. He wanted to wipe him off the face of the earth. In fact, that wasn't a bad idea at all. He got up and rushed at the door, only to be stopped by Harry's frame on the other side.

"Ron? Where are you-"

"Get out of my way! I'm going to fucking kill him." He cursed.

"Calm down, Ron! You can't just go out and get in a fight with him. You're in no condition to be trying to beat him!"

"Let me go, Harry! He deserves it! I'm going to beat the shit out of him! You don't understand! I _have_ to do this!"

"You think I don't want to do the exact same thing?" Harry asked, still holding him back. "In fact when I found out I did hit him. I still want to. I hate him just as much as you do. But this is not the time, nor the place for it. If you go now, you'll lose. He's a better dueler and fighter than you, Ron. I hate to say it, but he is."

"Fuck it, Harry. I don't care!" Ron screamed. "Just let me go! Let me go. Let me-" He suddenly gave up and collapsed on the floor. "She's really gone isn't she?"

Harry placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Yes. She is."

"She's pregnant? My Hermione? Pregnant?"

"Yes."

"She slept with him. She...oh my god." He sobbed. "She would never let me get that close to her. She always pulled back. Why? Why would she shy away from me but sleep with him? She did it all willingly. Harry, she did it on purpose! I'd almost rather it have happened without her consent. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so bloody awful. Terrible. It's terrible! I love her! I bloody love her and she's run off with that snake? Don't I mean anything to her? Don't my feelings matter? I had our whole life planned! I was going to ask her to marry me this summer! I was going to find a flat, I was going to make an honest woman out of her, I was, Harry! I really was!"

"Ron-"

"He stole her from me! He ripped us apart! I'll never forgive him! He'll pay for this! I swear to Godric, he'll pay!" He could no longer keep the tears at bay. All the anger and resentment melted into painful sorrow as he knelt on the cold floor of his dorm room. Harry looked on in silence, not knowing what to say or do. Ron didn't blame him. He didn't know what to do himself. So instead of rushing out to kill the bastard who'd stolen his future from him, he resolved to stay where he was and let the sadness swallow him whole.

* * *

 

**Tuesday, November 10, 1998**

Blaise hadn't seen or heard from Draco all night. If that wasn't a good sign, he didn't know what was. He knew the wizard had been fretting for weeks over this. Luna had promised Blaise that Hermione was trying hard to find a way to tell the Weasley. But as the days drug on, Blaise hadn't been too optimistic. This whole situation was troubling and tiresome, and he wasn't even the one fully involved.

On the bright side, it meant that he had been spending more time with Luna.

Though he was finally acknowledging the feelings he had for her, he'd been slow to show them. Brief moments of flirtation and a couple hints were all he could muster. He never knew what the witch was thinking, let alone how she would respond to his advances, so he'd kept it to a low.

It was a strange beginning of a courtship to be sure. He'd never spent this much time trying to "start" a relationship. All his past flings had given in with the first witty comment. But not Luna. She was different. Which was fine with him. Those girls weren't worth the trouble. Luna was a struggle, truth be told, but he didn't mind one bit.

In fact, he didn't want it to be easy. She was well worth the fight.

Hermione awoke to the familiar scent of sweat and cologne. She didn't even need to open her eyes to know whose chest she was snuggling against. She smiled. A month ago she had promised herself she would never sleep with him again. But after hearing those words, the same words she had muttered herself, everything inside her fell in place. This time, there was no regrets. She'd loved every moment of it and wasn't the least bit afraid of what anyone else thought about it.

Ron stretched and rubbed his eyes. It was morning. Another dawn had come. The world hadn't ended and his pain was slowly returning full force. He rolled over and shut his eyes tight, wishing with everything that he had died in his sleep.

Harry watched his friend stir from his own bunk. Ron hadn't spoken a word since last night. As of this moment, he hadn't even acknowledged Harry's presence. Harry would be surprised if he even ventured out of the room today. If he did, it would probably be to hunt down Malfoy and kill him. That would do no one any good. Harry wasn't on Malfoy's side by any means, but he didn't want Ron to have an outburst in front of anyone. Secrets were meant to be secrets. Hermione had enough on her plate without having to worry about Ron outing her to the whole damned school. Not to mention she was probably still furious at him for what he'd said the night before. Any contact between the two of them the next few days would be premature. So he knew exactly what he had to do. He'd make sure Ron didn't lose his cool and that Hermione stayed far enough away from him to not cause a scene.

It wasn't exactly the best job in the world, but his best friends had been by his side through thick and thin. What kind of friend would he be if he abandoned them now?

Ginny wasn't stupid. She knew something wasn't right. Hermione had been acting strange for weeks. And now Ron refused to come out of his room. Something was definitely wrong with this picture. Harry finally broke down and told her the truth after arguing with her for an hour. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her boyfriend's mouth. What the hell was going on around there?

* * *

 

**Wednesday, November 11, 1998**

Hermione had successfully managed to avoid everyone all day yesterday. Well, everyone except Luna. She had made herself a permanent fixture in Hermione life. One that she was quite grateful of. She didn't know how she would have made it through without her. She had expected to see the blonde witch, but she hadn't expected to not see everyone else. It was quite the accomplishment considering how horridly messed up the day before had been.

Ginny hadn't come back to the dorm room that night and Ron and Harry had skipped classes that day. She felt like she could almost get away with avoiding them forever.

But that all changed when she came back from dinner that evening. Ginny was sitting in her bed, eyes red and puffy with the vials Madam Pomfrey had given her, in her hands.

"I didn't want to believe it." Her friend whispered when Hermione entered the room.

"Ginny, let me explain-"

"Harry told me. I knew something was up. I've known for a long time now, but I let it go. You were hurting. Who was I to tell you how to grieve? But this? I didn't expect this." She said with a sad sigh. "Are you really pregnant, Hermione?"

"It's true." Was all she could muster.

"And it's not my brother's baby?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ginny."

"I love you, Hermione." She replied a moment later. "Even with all this, I love you. You're like my sister. I just...I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. He's my brother. I'm hurting for him. He won't even talk to Harry and me."

"I understand." She said. She did understand. She didn't honestly expect Ginny to be so nice about it. So this was a more pleasant confrontation than she had imagined coming from the redhead.

"Just give me some time, Hermione. I need some time to digest this information."

She swallowed the bile in her throat. "Take all the time you need."

She got up from the bed and handed Hermione the potions. "Just take care of yourself, ok?"

"I will." She promised as she watched one of her best friends close the door. She knew she deserved to be left alone like this, but it still hurt. Somehow it always hurt.

* * *

 

**Friday, November 13, 1998**

Although he was beginning to spend most of his nights with a certain hormonal brunette, his anxiety had never fully left. Instead of instilling caution into her brain he had only added more hope and promises onto his already shaky ones. He had no doubt that he would go with one of the plans when the time came, but the closer Christmas break came, the more his resolve waned. How could he keep her safe when he wasn't even here?

He tried not to think about it.

If he thought about it then he would want to stay and keep an eye on her, then were would he be after graduation? Right back on his parent’s doorstep. At least this way he had a job out from under his father’s watchful eye.

* * *

 

**Monday, November 16, 1998**

Ron thought he was doing better. He hadn't cried in the last two days and he had returned to class last Thursday. Harry and Ginny had helped him out of his funk and got him to act like a human again, but seeing her still hurt. It was just a glimpse in the hallway the first time. He'd wanted to bad to turn around and head straight back to bed, but Harry insisted that he keep going. That first day was hard.

The second one was harder.

He had a class with her. He sat a couple rows behind her. He just sat there and stared the whole period and when it was over he bolted. The next class made him want to go on a murderous rampage. He hadn't realized just who shared that class with him. The sight of Malfoy made his blood boil. It took all of Harry's strength to hold him back as he lunged across the desk at the blonde. The onlookers just stood by in shock as Harry led him out of the room.

Yes. The second day sucked. And the day after that, and the day after that.

No matter how angry he was at the whole thing, he couldn't help but feel something for her still.

He loved her. He missed her. He hated her. He wanted to scream at her. He wanted to kiss her. It was just too much. It got to the point where he was beginning to wonder if he would ever feel right again.

* * *

 

**Tuesday, November 17, 1998**

Draco seemed to be happy as of late, but if Blaise knew one thing about his friend, it was that he was good at hiding his true feelings.

As much as he smiled and spent time with Hermione, there was always a look in his eyes that told Blaise he was hiding something.

He wasn't about to pry, though. He didn't want to be the one to bring it up and ruin the peace that had settled around them.

Draco was lying on his back, tossing an apple in the air when he voiced the first question. "Have you felt it move yet?"

Hermione looked up from her assignments in shock. "Not yet. It may take a couple more weeks."

"Have you seen anyone regarding your health?"

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "Why the curiosity all the sudden?"

He caught the apple once again before sitting up. "I just want to know you're doing alright."

"I'm fine," She replied with a smile. "Really. I went to Madam Pomfrey when I first found out and she gave me some potions and herbal remedies for the morning sickness. "

"So you're not having regular visits with her?"

"Well, no." She admitted. "Luna kind of obliviated her. She doesn't remember that I'm pregnant."

He seemed to think about this for a moment. "I think you should tell her again."

The thought of going through that encounter all over again made Hermione shudder. "I'd rather not."

"But how will you know if something is wrong? You're not a healer, Hermione." He gave her a stern look. "And there are a lot of things that need to be checked. Growth, progress, the size of the cervix. There are many factors."

"I know that." She cut him off with a huff, her cheeks turning pink at him using the word cervix. "But it's not like I'm totally clueless. I've read every book about pregnancy in the library I'll have you know."

"And you haven't returned at least three of them." He replied with a smirk. "I've checked."

She smiled brightly. No wonder he'd mentioned growth and development. He knew it was important. "Have you been reading up on babies, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Curiosity has gotten the best of me, I do admit, but how is a bloke supposed to read up on the subject if all the books are taken out?"

"Alright, I'm sorry. Which one do you want?"

"I'd rather just ask you. It's much more entertaining." He said with a wink.

"Oh shut it." She threw her quill at him. "I still have a long way to go. According to the calculations, I'm almost 17 weeks. I may be able to hold out telling McGonagall  until after the holiday."

"I think you should tell her before, but I’m sure you'll do what you want to do anyway.” He sighed.

She smirked. “You know me so well.”

"I’d hope so." He agreed. "But do me a favor and at least get back with Madam Pomfrey. I'd rather know you're healthy."

"Fine. I'll go back." She huffed, going back to her homework.

He leaned down and kissed her head. "Thanks."

"Oh, it's not for you, I just happen to admit that it's the right thing to do for the baby."

He took a bite out of the apple still in his hand. "Whatever you say."

* * *

 

**Thursday, November 19, 1998**

Luna was happy. Happier than she'd been in a long time. She had helped her friend get through a trial and that made her feel good. She enjoyed helping others. It had taken awhile for Hermione to smile again. She was still struggling with her friendships with Harry, Ron, and Ginny, but so far she wasn't letting it ruin her life. She was eating again and her school work was almost caught up, not to mention the fact that the color had returned to her face.

Her relationship with Draco had grown stronger the last week and she and Blaise were quite happy with that outcome. In fact, the more time Draco spent with Hermione, the more time Blaise seemed to want to spend with her.

She didn't try to deny the fact that he was flirting with her anymore. It was obvious. What she didn't quite understand, was why he was flirting with her. No one had ever shown interest in her, and she didn't know how to receive it. She knew that she felt something for him. Her stomach would get tingling and sometimes she would find herself speechless and just looking at his perfect smile. It was something she'd never experienced. It was exciting and new. But she also needed to be cautious. She didn't know if his intentions were pure of heart. She didn't even know if she wanted to pursue her own feelings at this point. So many things were left open. If things turned sour between their friends she didn't know if she could continue having their little "meetings". She hoped things just remain as they were.

* * *

 

**Friday, November 20, 1998**

A part of Harry wanted to be happy for Hermione. She'd been smiling more and he knew it wasn't because of himself or because Ron was being a peach. It was because she spent her nights in the arms of the blonde who was going to ruin her life.

She may not know it yet, but he was the worst thing for her. Just because she was having his baby didn't mean she needed to be sneaking around with him. She wasn't giving Ron the benefit of the doubt. It would take time. He was still healing from the shock. He would come around eventually.

Harry was scared for her.

As much as he knew she had every right to keep her distance from Ron, the thought of her hanging her hopes on Malfoy made him gag. The bloke may be acting nice and protective and all that, but Harry was not buying it. Malfoy would break her heart. It was inevitable.

* * *

 

**Saturday, November 21, 1998**

"I think it will be ok, Blaise," Draco announced one night to Blaise surprise.

"What will be ok?"

"This whole thing with Hermione and I." He replied. "I mean, I know it's still really fucked up and I have no idea what we will do after the baby gets here, but I feel good for the first time in...forever."

Blaise smiled. That was the first time he'd heard Draco ever admit to feeling good about anything. "Well, I'm happy for you, mate. Truly I am."

Draco smirked and went back to his work.

Blaise wondered briefly what Draco was planning to do about his father, but he let it go. If his friend was happy, he wasn't about to rain on his parade. Besides, he had a “date” with his favorite witch. Before he left the comfort of his room Draco called over his shoulder, “By the way, Happy Birthday.”

He just smirked and thanked him. He didn’t really care much about birthday’s but he was sure this would be a good one.

* * *

 

 

It was late the night Theo heard the best news of his life.

He'd accidentally stumbled upon Ginny Weasley talking to her beloved Harry Potter in the library. He would normally go about his business. What did he care about the bloody chosen snot and his loud mouth girlfriend? He didn't give a rats arse about them, but he did care about the particular witch they were talking about.

Their dear friend Hermione Granger was pregnant.

He didn't have to wonder who the father might be.

* * *

 

**Monday, November 23, 1998**

If there was one word to describe how Ronald Weasley felt now it would be "numb". The nasty jealousy he was used to didn't grip him now as he watched her gaze drift to Malfoy at breakfast. The rage didn't overtake his body when he saw the git flash her a smile. It didn't hurt to see them disappearing together when they thought no one else was looking, and it didn't pain him knowing just what it was they were probably doing behind closed doors.

He didn't feel a thing.

It was as if he was immune to emotions altogether.

No anger, no jealousy, and no pain. But there was no happiness for Ron either. He hadn't smiled since the day he lost his girlfriend and best friend of eight years. He was an empty shell and he was fine with that. If he let the emotions back in, it would only hurt worse. He didn't want to be in love with her anymore. He didn't want to wish himself dead because of all the turmoil.

So he was content with this.

He was ok with feeling nothing as long as it meant he didn't have to deal with reality.

* * *

 

**Tuesday, November 24, 1998**

Hermione was still in shock. Every day she woke up and thought that it was all a dream. She couldn't possibly be pregnant, and Draco couldn't possibly be so kind about it.

But every day he proved to her just how real it all was.

They didn't openly show their connection during the day. There may be a few small glances or smiles between them but that was as far as it went. Both of them knew how dangerous it could be if their classmates found out. So far no one had let it slip.

Ron was still angry as hell and hadn't spoken to her since the night she'd told him. Ginny was keeping her distance as well. She wasn't hostile by any means, but the witch was weary. And Hermione understood that. As much as it hurt her to be away from Ginny and Ron, she no longer felt alone. Harry was still a constant companion and Luna kept her on her toes. Hermione's days were filled with homework, essays, and friends; and her nights were filled with trysts and whispers. If she closed her eyes to the bad things, she could almost believe that everything would work out perfectly.

* * *

 

**Wednesday, November 25, 1998**

_A cruel laugh echoed against the stone floor. "How does it feel Lil' Malfoy?"_

_He rolled over on his side but found it pained him to move. He grimaced and peered into the darkness, trying to locate the source of the voice._

" _I know you can hear me." It continued. "Can't you talk? Or is the pain too much for you?"_

_He tried to sit up but the moment he did the world started to spin. "What is this? What's going on?"_

" _I found it," The voice said, with the click of a lock following. "Your Lil' secret." The door swung open and bathed him in light._

_He brought his hand in front of his face. "What are you talking about?" He asked the dark silhouette in the doorway. "What secret?"_

_He was answered with another taunting laugh as a large mass was tossed into the cell with him. "You thought you were being sneaky, don't ya?"_

_He looked down at the large burlap sack at his feet. A sudden fear crept up his body like fog, and his stomach lurched as his hand inched forward._

_What was going on?_

_The man in the door shifted his weight and snorted._

_He ignored the man's presence._

_He wanted to know, needed to know what this was._

_His hands trembled as they drew near._

_He knew whatever it was, was bad. How could it not be?_

_When his fingers clasped the drawstrings, he pulled them, allowing the contents to be in full view._

_His eyes widened and his stomach involuntarily dispelled whatever bile was left in his stomach._

_No._

_No. no. no. no. no!_

_It couldn't be!_

_But it was._

_Brown eyes, dead to the world, stared back at him. Curly hair splayed unnaturally around her face, though her once creamy skin was now stained a crimson red. Her mouth was open as if her life was extinguished mid-scream._

_He fought the urge to vomit again, and looked into the light. "You monster!" He screamed. "Why did you do this!"_

" _I di'nt do it, Lil' Malfoy." The man said. "You did."_

Draco awoke violently, arms thrashing and blankets tangled around him.

His body was covered with a thin layer of sweat and his mouth was dry. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to get the image of Hermione's lifeless body out of his mind.

" _I found it. Your Lil' secret."_

He hadn't known who spoke in the dream, but now he did. There was no mistaking that voice. It belonged to Greyback.

The last few weeks he'd been constantly fretting over the possibility of his father finding out. He wanted to smack himself in the face for not realizing this sooner. His father wasn't the only one that he needed to be worried about. He wasn't the only one who had his eye on Draco in one sense or another.

Panic started setting in as he grabbed his wand, climbed out of bed, and in the darkness made his way to his desk. Quietly as he could he groped around inside the drawer until he found it. Chills ran up his back as his fingers brushed against the letter he'd hidden weeks ago.

He looked around the room and saw that Theo and Blaise were both sound asleep.

He took a breath and whispered, "Lumos." It cast enough life that he could see it clearly. He'd put off reading the letter since it was delivered. There was no reason to read it. He hadn't wanted anything to do with Bastien or Greyback. He still didn't have any intention to go along with anything they had planned, but now he had to at least read it. He needed to know what the bastard wanted. If he found out about Hermione or the baby it could get bad.

His eyes ran over each and every word as his heart beat faster in his chest. The more he read the more anxious he became. The same conversation he'd had with the bastard a year before was now repeating itself in paper form.

Bastien was still power hungry and he wanted Draco to be his right-hand man.

* * *

 

It was just after breakfast when Ron felt the all too familiar presence of a snake. He narrowed his eyes and rolled his shoulders back, continuing his stride as if he didn't care who was lingering in the shadows behind him. What good would it do him to turn around? What would he accomplish by starting a row with the wizard? It wouldn't change a damn thing for him. It would only result in his anger and pain returning, and that was something he just couldn't handle right now.

So onward he went, trying to ignore the eyes burning in the back of his skull. But patience wasn't really a Weasley's strong suit. "I know you're there, Malfoy." He spat as he turned around to face his enemy head on. "I may not be as quick in the wit department, but I know when I'm being followed."

"Good, I'm glad to see you're not totally incapable." The blonde returned, taking a few steps forward.

Ron glanced around the corridor. They were totally alone. Not a soul in sight. If he acted quickly, maybe he could get a few good hits in. His hand twitched at his side, the anger slowly settling in. "What the hell do you want, Malfoy?"

"I needed to talk to you." He replied sincerely. "It's important."

This made him frown. "Why the bloody hell would I want to talk to you?" He hissed. "You  _stole_  everything from me."

Draco rolled his eyes. "It was never yours to begin with, Weasley."

Now there was nothing holding him back. No Harry, no Ginny, and no Hermione telling him to calm down. No one was here to tell him to stop. He grit his teeth and drew his wand from his pocket. " _Stupefy!_ "

The spell was immediately blocked with a mutter of, " _Protego_." This angered the red head further and he continued shouting hexes, jinx's, and curses at the other boy, all of which were easily dodged.

"Honestly, Weasley, this fight is pointless. You can't win."

"We'll see about that!" He yelled, taking all his aggression out in a final attack. He had one spell that Harry had mentioned long ago. One Snape had come up with, and the very one that had taken the bastard in front of him down during sixth year. Now was no time to show mercy. " _Sectumsempra!_ "

Draco's eyes widened a bit in shock as the curse was spoken, but he quickly moved out of the way. Before Ron could repeat the curse, Draco moved in on him. Without muttering a word he disabled the mouthy Weasley and had him pinned to the wall with a binding spell. "I do admit that last one through me off a bit, but play time is over."

"Let me go!" Ron shouted loudly, trying to get out of his immobile hold. "I'll kill you, you fucking ferret!"

"Now that would be counter productive I do believe." Draco tisk'd, passing Ron's wand back and forth between his hands.

Ron watched helplessly as the other wizard toyed with his own wand. It wasn't fair. He'd wanted to make the bastard bleed. He'd wanted to make him regret stealing Hermione from him. He'd wanted to make Malfoy suffer as much, if not more than he had. But it had all come crumbling down in seconds. Just as always he'd let his anger get the best of him. Now Malfoy had his wand, his pride, and didn't have a bloody scratch on him.

"What the fuck do you want from me! If you want to kill me, just bloody do it already! I'm fucking miserable! Do me a service why don't you!"

"Why would I do that?" Draco asked, stepping closer. "I have no intentions of harming you. In fact, I'd let you down from there if you would only be civil enough to have a conversation with me."

"I'd never willing have a conversation with you, Malfoy. Just looking at you makes me sick."

"I'd say the feeling is mutual, but then I'm afraid we'd be right back where we started." He sighed. "I'm not here to fight with you, idiot. I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself. I should have known a lummox like you wouldn't get it the first time around."

Ron noticed something then, a difference in Malfoy's words, stance, and appearance that he hadn't noticed before. The rude remarks didn't have the bite they normally would have, and he looked as if he'd been up for a week straight. This wasn't just any random name calling encounter. There was a reason why he was here.

"Alright then, Malfoy. I give up. What the fuck do you want with me?"

"I came to offer you a proposition."

"And why the bloody hell would I want to listen to anything you have to say?" Ron spat, with defiance.

Draco leaned closer to the boy, and Ron felt a bit unsettled by the look in his eyes as he replied, "Because despite your being a total idiot, you are the one that loves, Hermione. Not me."

it took a moment before the weight of his words set in. Was Malfoy saying he was stepping down? Why would he do that? He had her. What the hell was going on? He looked hard at the blonde, but Draco gave nothing away. If he was going to have any idea of his intentions, he'd have to be civil. If it meant he could get Hermione back, he'd do anything the damn ferret asked of him.

"Alright, Malfoy," Ron spoke after a moment of hesitation. "I'm listening." He felt the binds come loose from his arms and he stumbled as he was released. As he righted himself he didn't miss the look of relief on Draco's face.

 

**Chapter Revised**


	21. Propositions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Ron devise a plan and Hermione proceeds to tell them just where to stuff it.

 

**November 25, 1998**

Draco shivered in the dark, chill of midnight. No matter what he did he couldn't get warm. Neither the pile of blankets on his bed nor the heat of the fire he'd stoked moments ago could stave the cold seeping into his bones. He'd quietly rummaged through his wardrobe and found one of his last bottles of firewhiskey, quickly taking a drink and returning to his place beside the mantle. He stared into the flickering light cast by its flames for what seemed like an eternity. He just wanted to go back to yesterday. Yesterday he was happy. For a moment he had forgotten just who he was and what family he belonged too. His thoughts had only been on his frizzy haired lover and the beaming smile she had when his hand had brushed against the tiny bump on her stomach after making love in their sanctuary.

" _It's hard to believe isn't it?" She asked as she placed her palms against her stomach. "That there's a tiny life in there?"_

_He had to agree. It was extremely hard to wrap his mind around it. Even though she didn't look much different, she was._

_She closed her eyes and sighed. "To be honest, I'm a bit frightened."_

" _Really? Hermione Granger? Frightened? Where are the quick quote quills when you need them?" He grinned._

" _Hah, hah. Very funny." She pushed him off of her. "I'm serious. I'm extremely nervous actually." Her brows furrowed together. "What if I don't have a motherly instinct?"_

_He placed a hand atop hers. "You'll do fine." He assured her. "Trust me. If anyone has a motherly instinct around here, it's you. You've been taking care of sodding Potter for nearly eight years and he's managed to survive. How much worse can it possibly get?"_

" _Yes, well I didn't have to teach him everything from scratch." She said with a sigh. "I wish there was a book that could tell me what to do. There's plenty of resources and theories, but all of them are so different and yet seem so alike. How can I discern which one is the right one?"_

_Draco rolled his eyes and kissed her chin. "Perhaps you should stop leaving everything up to your bloody books and learn to live a day at a time. Enjoy your last year of school. There will be plenty of time for you to worry about rearing children when you're actually holding one in your arms." He smiled, wrapping his own arms around her._

" _Enjoy it?" She repeated softly. "Easy for you to say. You're not even going to be here." It was more the tone of her voice, than the words she spoke, that made him look up at her. Her eyes were downcast and the corners of her mouth were turned almost into a complete frown._

_His smile faded. "I thought you were ok with me going?"_

" _I thought I was too."_

" _I told you before, this could work out in our favor."_

" _I know that." She admitted. "I know. It's a great opportunity. It's just…" She shivered._

_He sat up and pulled her up with him, draping the sheet around her naked shoulders as he did so. "What's wrong?"_

" _I thought it was a good thing. It would work out perfectly for us. But I really hate it, Draco. Even though I have Luna on my side, I'm going to be going through this pregnancy alone."_

_He couldn't even argue. He'd thought about this little fact a lot. It was hard before, thinking about being away from her, but now that it was more than her, well he wasn't exactly thrilled to be leaving. "We'll figure something out. I'm sure someone in this place has a two-way mirror or something."_

_Her eyes lit up but she shook her head. "Even if we did get our hands on one, you'd still miss out."_

" _What's there to miss out on? Mood swings? Cravings? Swollen feet? Thanks, but no thanks. I'll leave those unpleasantries to Lovegood."_

" _Because there's nothing but unpleasant things about pregnancy?" She snorted._

" _Besides your sudden desire to shag me senseless every time we get a moment alone? Yes." She tried to hide the amusement from her face but he had already seen it. "Am I wrong?"_

" _Yes, and no." Her hand again found its way to her stomach. "I can't wait until the sickness and exhaustion end, but there's something I'm looking forward too, and I'm afraid it won't happen before you leave."_

_He could tell whatever it was, was very important to her. "And what's that?"_

_She smiled and looked at him. "Feeling the baby move."_

Feeling the baby move. Never in a million, no make that a  _billion_  years would Draco have thought those words would affect him so much. At this moment, that fact alone was enough to scare him shitless. Yesterday he had promised her that he would feel those tiny flutters somehow. He'd promised so much to her already. Why did he keep doing that? How many of these promises would he break before this was over?

" _Oh, bloody hell!"_

_Draco's head shot in the direction of the outburst. Hermione was staring down at a piece of parchment and swearing excessively under her breath. It was after dinner and they were doing their potions assignments in the back corner of the library. They were partner's in potions class so if anyone were to see them here, they would think nothing of it. It was now one of their favorite spots outside of the Room of Requirements._

_Draco let out an exasperated sigh as he watched her pace back and forth in front of him. "What's wrong **now**?"_

" _Did you see this schedule?" She asked, waving it in his face. "Do you have any idea when the N.E.W.T.S are?"_

" _No," He replied, holding back an eye roll. "But I'm sure you're about to tell me."_

" _Yes!" She downplayed his sarcasm and continued, "They are right around my due date."_

_He stared blankly at her._

" _Don't you get it?" She cried. "Depending on when our little bundle of joy decides to make their appearance, I may not be able to take them. The only reason why I came back was to take them! What will I do if I can't? I don't want to repeat the year again! And even if I don't repeat, how am I going to find a good job if I didn't even take my N.E.W.T.S!?"_

_He found himself smiling at her disgruntled state. She always got worked up when it came to exams and books. "I'm sure when you tell McGonagall what's going on she'll make an exception."_

" _I don't her to make an exception. I don't want to be a burden." She hung her head and let the schedule fall to the table. "If I'm to be a good role model, then I shouldn't be getting special treatment. What kind of example will I be setting for the younger years?"_

" _And you being impregnated by a former death eater is less of a blemish on your reputation than getting to take your exams early?"_

" _That...that's different."_

_He didn't see how that was different. In fact, if she asked him, it would be ten times worse than being exempt or taking the exam early. "I think you should stop worrying." He told her. "You're one-third of Potter's famous Golden Trio. I'm sure the job market will be wide open to you."_

" _Yes, they'll definitely want an unwed, uneducated mother working for them." She huffed._

_He reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. "Stop that. You're far from uneducated. Any company or workplace would be crazy not to want you."_

" _Thank you." She smiled at him._

" _Don't mention it." He replied before refocusing on his school work._

_She wasn't done, though. Apparently she was in an emotional mood today. Damn hormones._

" _I've actually been thinking about what I'm going to do after school."_

" _And what have you decided?"_

" _Well, I was going to going to study to become a Cursebreaker while trying to start a department in the Ministry of Magic that deals with the rights of house elves, and magical creatures. But I'm afraid that type of field may be too dangerous now that I don't just have me to think about."_

" _Well, what about something in the medical profession?" He had always thought she'd be an excellent healer or mediwitch. She was obsessed with helping people after all._

" _The thought had crossed my mind."_

" _You can always take a year off to figure it out."_

" _And how am I supposed to do that?" She asked in a serious tone. "I'll have a lot of responsibilities. I'll need to get a flat. I mean, where are I and the baby going to live? How am I going to make a happy home for us? I have a lot riding on me finding a steady, stable, and well-paying job."_

_He frowned. She had an awful habit of thinking she was alone in this. "You act as if you're going to be doing it all by yourself."_

_She raised her eyebrows. " Are you saying you're willing to out yourself and live with us like a warm cozy family?"_

_He didn't stop the eye roll this time. "Come on, it's not like that. You know we have to be cautious. But I'm not so much of a git that I'd allow you to suffer. You should know that by now."_

" _I just don't want to get my hopes up, Draco." She whispered. "I don't want to rely on you and then you disappear."_

_That got his blood boiling, but he didn't react as violently as he wanted to. Good. He'd gotten his self-control back. "How many times do I have to repeat myself, Granger?" He had reverted back to using her surname. He always seemed to do that when she irked him. "Didn't I say I wasn't going to run away?" He asked in a hushed, but demanding voice. "I promised I wouldn't. And I'm not keen on breaking my promises. I will find a way, Hermione. It may not be the fairy tale you want, but it's better than nothing."_

_She was mad. He could tell. "I'm not a bloody idiot. I know it's not going to be a lovely stroll in the park." She retorted. "And you already said that your family expects you to return to the, "She paused briefly as if contemplating her next word. "Manor, when you leave." She continued. "I know all of that. And I'm not going to pretend that the relationship we have now is going to be the same at that time. Things can't remain this way for long."_

_Oh,_ _how he wished that wasn't true. "Be that as it may, I'm going to help. Whether you bloody like it or not. So from now on I forbid you from worrying about it."_

_She smirked, the worry seemingly vanishing from her face. "I do love when you forbid me from things."_

_Naughty thoughts of past trysts invaded his mind. "Don't go there, Granger. It will only put you in a very compromising position."_

_She leaned forward and shoved the books to the side. "It wouldn't be the first time I've misbehaved in the library."_

_He grinned. Ok. So sometimes hormones weren't so bad. "I do believe you're trying to seduce me."_

" _And what if I am?"_

_He shook his head and grabbed his quill and book from where she'd shoved them. "Then I'd say you'd be highly disappointed. Finnegan has been staring at us for five minutes, and I for one don't want a bloody audience when I snog you senseless."_

_Hermione sighed and placed her head in her hands. "Stupid hormones."_

IT was moments like those that made him desperately wish there was another way. He wanted to keep those promises to her. He wanted to remain in her good graces. He was only fooling himself, though. There was no way that was going to happen now.

"Think, Draco, think." He muttered to himself. The images of her lifeless face flashed before him. He refused to let that happen!

He had to convince her that they weren't compatible. He had to get her to believe that it was for the best. He couldn't tell her about Bastien and his father's intentions. She would only let her Gryffindor traits take over. She would think he needed her help no matter what he said about it. She would take it upon herself to find a solution and that was the last thing he fucking needed. She would only get herself killed. The Golden Trio was still riding on the euphoric high from defeating the Dark Lord. He knew a part of them probably believed they were somehow invincible. But Draco wasn't a fool. He knew all too well that none of them were invincible. Especially Hermione.

Any threat or warning from Bastien couldn't be taken lightly. He honestly didn't have an inkling what the dark wizard was now capable of. Until recently he hadn't even known if the git was still alive. He should have known better. Ignoring him completely or going up against him were not options at the moment. Too many variables were missing. He couldn't solve the equation without making the proper calculations first. Doing that would take time. The time he just didn't have. Time in which he couldn't have his muggle born lover and half-blood heir safely at his side.

There had to be a way to keep them out of harm's way. But how could he? He'd already told her his wishful, and extremely stupid plans of getting her a flat in the country, but how could he just leave her there to her own devices? What if they were found out and he was too far away to help? What if Weasel slipped up and all of Hogwarts found about before he even had a chance to get that far?

He wasn't the only former Dark Lord follower enrolled in the school this year. There was even a few student whose fathers were still on the run. Any number of them could pass along the message and it get back to his father, or worse. There were many things that could happen to her and their unborn child if the wrong people knew the child's lineage. Who would be there to protect her then?

His stomach knotted up thinking about it. He'd seen one too many disturbing and disgusting things happen under The Dark Lord's short take over, and he knew there were still those out there still capable of doing such evil. He shook the images out of his head. He didn't want to go there. But he knew he couldn't forget. He'd never forget. And that's why he needed to find a solution quickly.

Potter was a no go. He'd be going to London right along with him. He had his own things to worry about. Besides, Draco knew he'd want to know  _why_  Hermione need extra protection. He'd ask too many fucking questions. He didn't trust anyone else to do it. No one would be gullible enough to just go with it.

Well, there was one person….

No. He didn't want to stoop to that level. He couldn't, no wouldn't ask  _him_. He'd considered it briefly at one point in time, though the personal discomfort made him dash the idea. But that was then, and this was now. He was running out of options.

His chest tightened. Was he really thinking about leaving them in  _his_  care? He could feel his heart begin to race, the oxygen leaving his lungs, and a loud hiss in his ears as the world starting going dark. What was this?

Panic. It was panic. He dropped to his knees and took a few deep breaths in succession.

_Calm down. You're fine. Stop bloody freaking out! Breathe, Draco, breathe._

After a few moments, the pain in his chest stopped and his breathing returned to normal. He knew what he had to do, but obviously, his body was not prepared for it. "It's not like you're in love with her." He whispered, trying to convince himself. Even as he said it, he knew it was just another lie. Somehow in their brief time together she had broken him down and gotten under his skin. He had fallen hard, and that's precisely why he had to do this.

He just wished it didn't have to be so damn hard.

He looked at the clock. 3:00 am. He knew in just a few hours he would have to swallow what was left of his pride, and go in search for Weasley.

The more he thought about it, the more he'd wished he had remained oblivious. He wished he hadn't read that damn letter.

But he had read it, and even if he hadn't, the outcome would have still been the same.

He poured himself another glass and drank it down.

He was done fighting this. It was time to take action.

He decided to give up wrestling with his conscious and proceeded to drink himself to sleep.

The next morning had come too fast. He hadn't even gotten through the fist part of the day before his opportunity had arisen. There he was, walking right in front of him, and very much alone.

Now was the time.

He had rehearsed this in his head about fifty times already today.

He just needed to get this over with.

It was just as easy as he'd imagined it to be.

The red head was livid, as he knew he would be, and he'd let his emotions control his magic. Weasely never disappointed Draco. He was just too damn easy to read.

Though one thing caught him off guard.

"What the fuck do you want from me! If you want to kill me, just bloody do it already! I'm fucking miserable! Do me a service why don't you!"

Had losing Hermione really done so much damage to the wizard that he'd want his life to end? As much as that disturbed Draco, it honestly worked into his favor. "Why would I do that?" Draco asked, stepping closer. "I have no intentions of harming you. In fact, I'd let you down from there if you would only be civil enough to have a conversation with me."

"I'd never willing have a conversation with you, Malfoy. Just looking at you makes me sick."

"I'd say the feeling is mutual, but then I'm afraid we'd be right back where we started." He sighed. "I'm not here to fight with you, idiot. I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself. I should have known a lummox like you wouldn't get it the first time around."

Weasely must have finally come to his senses and believed what Draco was telling him.

"Alright then, Malfoy. I give up. What the fuck do you want with me?"

It was show time.

 _Come on!_ His mind shouted at him.

 _You can do it, Draco._ His heart ached as he tried to find the words.

_Just Do it!_

"I came to offer you a proposition."

"And why the bloody hell would I want to listen to anything you have to say?" Ron spat, with defiance.

Draco leaned closer, trying to get his point across. "Because despite your being a total idiot, you are the one that loves, Hermione." The words felt so wrong coming out of his mouth. And the next ones weren't any better. "Not me."

"Alright, Malfoy," Ron spoke after a moment of hesitation. "I'm listening."

Draco backed off. "Good, now if you're sure you're ready to listen, follow me."

As the red head slowly followed him down the hallway, Draco happened to see a flash of blonde hair in the hallway next to them. Only one other person had hair like that.

He didn't want to think she'd heard their little exchange, but he'd be stupid to believe she hadn't. He just hoped she wouldn't destroy his plans before they had the groundwork even laid out.

* * *

 

Luna could hear her heart thumping in her chest. She never was one to be nervous. She had always approached things in a calm way. Her mind, and heart, were mostly peaceful; even in the darkest of times. Then why now was her heart thrumming away like a humming birds wings? It could be the fact that she and Blaise had been sharing many morning breakfasts, afternoon strolls in the gardens, and  _very_  late nights in the Great Common together. Or it could be that she had now come to realize she could spot him from a couple halls away and knew he was nearby the smell of his cologne. She had spent countless hours with the Slytherin the past few weeks. She was as comfortable with him as she was with Harry and Hermione. It could be all those things that had her nerves on edge.

Or it could possibly be the fact that said Slytherin was taking her hand and pulling her into an empty hallway at the moment.

"Where are we going?" She asked quietly.

"I'm tired, Lovegood." He exclaimed.

She didn't know why his sleep schedule had to do with him bringing her here. "Did you not sleep well last night? You know you perform much better throughout the day if you are well rested."

"No, that's not what I meant."

She wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand."

He stopped walking and pulled her in closer to him. "The past few weeks have been…for lack of a better word, amazing." He said. "I can't get you out of my mind, and I think you feel the same way."

Was this it? Was this the nervous feeling her friends got in the pit of their stomachs when something was going to happen? "And suppose I do?" She asked. "What then?"

He didn't respond for a moment. He just stared down into her eyes as if he was trying to figure out what to do. "Forgive me, Lovegood."

"Forgive you? For wha-." She never got a chance to finish her sentence. The sudden presence of his lips pressed against hers cut her off. He was kissing her. Blaise Zabini was kissing her.

And she was enjoying it. She reacted to his kiss with more passion than she thought she would. She had always imagined kissing to be soft and quiet. And perhaps this kiss had started out that way, but it was beginning to become anything but. She kissed him back, their mouths opening slightly, a tongue glided against the other, she wasn't sure whose tread into that territory first, but she didn't really care. She was too caught up in the moment to care.

And as quickly as the kiss had started, it was over.

"I'm sorry." He said after breaking away from her. "I couldn't hold myself back any longer."

She leaned back against the wall and caught her breath. "I'm glad you didn't." She admitted. "Maybe I seem too conservative, but I've wanted to that for quite awhile now."

His smile widened into a grin. "Really now?"

"You don't believe me?" She queried.

"Oh, I believe you." He replied, stepping back into her personal space. "How could I not? What with the way you kissed me back. I was quite shocked honestly."

"I'm full of surprises."

He leaned forward and kissed her again. "You sure are."

She found herself wanting more. Her body was anticipating this. It wanted him to kiss her, touch her, and move her. She didn't know what to do, but she knew she didn't want to stop. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her deeply. His hands rested on either side of her waist and his body pressed her back into the wall.

She had never been this close to anyone in her life.

It was frightening and thrilling at the same time.

She was snogging. And enjoying every second of it.

She had spent the last few weeks hoping that something like this would happen. She was just too afraid to be the one to make the first move. Which wasn't like her honestly? She usually just did things on a whim. She never had a problem telling anyone her feelings or intentions. Blaise was different.

She liked him.

As more than a friend. She didn't want to screw it up. So she had remained silent, contented jut to stay at his side.

If the way his hands were searching her body was any indication, he had decided it wasn't enough to just remain friends.

She was very happy with this turn of events.

His mouth had left hers and was now making its way down the curve of her jaw before stopping at the sensitive part of her neck. He bit down softly causing her to jump slightly at as a jolt of pleasure coursed through her. She'd never felt that before!

Seeing that his advances were wanted he continued kissing her as his hands ventured down to cup her bum.

"I've wanted to do this for so long. You have no idea." He breathed in her ear.

She smiled. "Oh, I think I know."

He was moving her hair out of his way when she heard a shout to their left.

Blaise stopped and looked down the hallway.

It was still empty.

"We'll see about that!" The familiar voice of Ron Weasley yelled. " _Sectumsempra!_ "

Luna's eyes widened and Blaise moved back.

"I do admit that last one through me off a bit, but play time is over."

Blaise didn't hold back the look of surprise on his face at hearing his friend respond.

They both took off down the hallway.

"Let me go!" Ron shouted loudly. Luna could tell he was nearing hysterics. Why did he have to pick a fight with Malfoy? He wasn't as bad as Ron believed. "I'll kill you, you stinky ferret!"

"Now that would be counterproductive I do believe," Draco replied calmly. Blaise and Luna poked their heads around the corner. They didn't want to intervene unless they had too. Something like this was bound to happen after all. They both needed to get it out of their systems.

"What the fuck do you want from me! If you want to kill me, just bloody do it already! I'm fucking miserable! Do me a service why don't you!"

"Why would I do that?" Draco asked, stepping closer. "I have no intentions of harming you. In fact, I'd let you down from there if you would only be civil enough to have a conversation with me."

"I'd never willing have a conversation with you, Malfoy. Just looking at you makes me sick."

"I'd say the feeling is mutual, but then I'm afraid we'd be right back where we started." He sighed. "I'm not here to fight with you, idiot. I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself. I should have known a lummox like you wouldn't get it the first time around."

Luna wished they could just stop with the name calling. It did nothing but cause more dysfunction and anger.

"Alright then, Malfoy. I give up. What the fuck do you want with me?"

"I came to offer you a proposition."

A proposition? What was he doing?

"And why the bloody hell would I want to listen to anything you have to say?" Ron spat, with defiance.

"Because despite your being a total idiot, you are the one that loves, Hermione. Not me."

Luna wanted to rush out there and slap him. How could he stand there and say he didn't love her. After everything, they had just done?!

Blaise put a calming hand on her shoulder. "I know what you're thinking, but don't be rash." He whispered.

"Alright, Malfoy," Ron spoke after a moment. "I'm listening."

Draco said something else and turned around, Ron following closely behind him.

Blaise pulled her back just as Draco's eyes rose.

Had he seen her?

Blaise pressed her against the wall and muttered a disillusion spell just as the duo passed the hall. Luna could see Draco turn and give the hallway a confused look before turning forward and disappearing from view.

"What was that about?" She asked aloud.

Blaise shrugged his shoulders, but there was a distinct worry in his eyes. "I'm not sure. But Draco never does anything without a reason."

"He can't leave her, Blaise." She said suddenly. "She's slowly recovering from all this. If he leaves her.." She trailed off. She didn't want to think about how heartbroken Hermione would be if Draco broke things off.

Blaise grabbed her into a hug. "I'll figure out what's going on. I promise I'll try to talk him out of whatever plan he's drafted up."

"Thank you."

He kissed the top of her head. "So does this make us official?"

She looked up at him and kissed the side of his mouth. "I'm ready if you are."

And she was. She wanted to say she had a boyfriend. She just hoped that while her happiness was starting didn't mean the end of Hermione's.

* * *

 

Ron followed Draco down into the dungeons. He almost wondered if he should be listening to the fucking prick. He could be leading him to his death for all Ron knew.

He didn't have to wonder about his intentions long. Soon Draco stopped in a secluded area and spoke a silencing charm before turning to him.

"Ok Weasley, you hate me and I hate you, but for once we need to stop thinking about ourselves and do what's best for Hermione."

Ron wrinkled his nose in disgust as Draco spoke her name. When did he earn the right to say her first name like that? He tried to ignore the feeling of rage that was swelling up again. "Ok," He managed to grind out. "So what do you have in mind?"

"As I'm sure you're already aware, I'm going to be leaving here after Christmas."

"So?"

"So, things are going to change drastically between Hermione and me after that. She thinks this relationship we have is going to work out long term. She is blinded, of course, because of the child. What we started wasn't supposed to end up in procreation."

Ron was reaching his boiling point. Was this fucking prat actually rattling on about fucking his girlfriend just for shits and giggles? Did he even give a fuck about her? "Get on with it, Malfoy." He warned.

"Right, I forgot I was talking to a barbarian." Draco retorted.

"Do you want me to leave?" He shot back angrily. "Because I'm really fucking close to forgetting the whole thing."

"If you want Hermione back, then I suggest you just listen to me."

That's exactly what he wanted. He wanted her to look at him the way she'd been looking at Malfoy the last two weeks. He just wanted her. "Fine."

"I can't take care of her. Not the way you can."

"What do you mean?"

"She needs a family, Weasley. And she can't get that with me. My family would tear her apart and spit her out."

Well, that was putting it lightly. "So what do you want me to do about it?" He asked. "IT's not like I'm her favorite person right now. I said some pretty shitty things to her."

The blonde gave him a look that almost scared him speechless. "Yes, I'm quite aware of what was said."

For some reason, he felt the need to defend himself. "I was angry! What did you two expect? That I'd be happy that you got her pregnant? It was supposed to be me! Maybe wait a couple years, but it was supposed to be me!"

Malfoy frowned at him. "And it would have been you if you'd kept your damn cock in your pants and treated her with the respect she deserves."

"If you're just going to stand her and insult me, I'm leaving."

"Stop being so bloody childish, dammit. Fucking hell I'm talking about Hermione here! She needs someone to help take care of her and the baby. Don't you care? Or are you too bloody selfish to see what I'm trying to do?"

Ron hung his head. Draco was right. What was he doing? "I'm sorry. I want to help, but how am I going to do that?"

"You're going to offer to claim the baby as your own."

"She won't go for it."

"WE'll make her go for it." He replied. "She's going to be showing soon and she'd going to have to have a plan. If you say it's yours no one will harass her. After graduation, you can take her home to your family. You all can protect her. Help her raise the baby. You can even tell your family it's yours so it doesn't raise suspicion."

"And how do I know you won't just come barging back in one day demanding the child be in your life?"

"You're just going to have to trust me."

"I can't just take your word." Ron spat. "You're a bloody Death Eater."

Draco rolled his eyes. " _Former_  Death Eater."

"Whatever."

"Listen, Weasel. I'm doing this for her, ok. I'm not good for her. She'll be a walking target if she's with me. Your lot may have won the war, but some of mine still crave vengeance. I don't want my child growing up in fear. They deserve better than what I was given."

For the first time in his life, Ron felt a twinge of pity for Malfoy. He had always hated the git, but the man standing in front of him had a desperate look in his eyes. For some reason, that's what made him decide to trust him to keep his word.

"If I agree to do this, will you promise to stay away from them?"

Draco looked troubled for a moment but nodded.

"So how are we going to talk her into taking me up on my offer? She may not have said it out loud but the way she looks at you….I think she…" He couldn't finish. He loathed thinking Hermione could love this bastard.

"Believe me, Weasley," Draco said before Ron could continue. "By the time I'm done with her, she won't want to see my face ever again."

* * *

 

**November** **26**

Narcissa glided down the dark blue carpet that lined the hallway of their upstairs bedroom wing. The moon had risen hours ago and she had left the warmth of her husband's bed to seek solitude. It wasn't the first time she had donned her purple silk robe and matching slippers to aimlessly wander the manor, her mind shifting through memories associated with every room and every object she came across.

The nights had seemed so long lately. The closer it got to her son returning, the longer the day dragged on. She wanted nothing more than to have her son sleeping in his bedroom down the hall from her own. Even though she knew he wasn't the same little boy he'd been just a few years ago, she hadn't let go of the images of his childhood. The happier times. The times before she'd let her husband destroy his choice to make up his own mind about life.

The blame couldn't fall all on Lucius's hands, though. Standing idly by while evil and hatred filled her home was just as bad. There was a time when she'd been just as prideful as her family and her husband, but those days were long gone now.

Now she was just struggling to make it a day at a time.

She thought things were going to get better. Lucius, her husband, whom she still loved with all her heart, was home. She had hoped things would change. This new world could offer so much. They could have lived quietly and worry free.

She stopped in front of Draco's door.

She was foolish.

There was no way things could get better.

Not when secrecy and schemes were underfoot.

She just prayed to Salzar that her son would refuse to get mixed up in anything his father had planned for him.

But knowing her son's relationship with his father that was just wishful thinking.

Lucius loved Draco. She knew he did. He feared for him, just as she had. But there was a difference between them. As much as Lucius loved his son, he wanted to control him just as much.

He had a need to mold their son into his vision of perfection. What he would call priming, others would call near abuse.

He was a product of his upbringing.

And while Draco had wanted for nothing growing up, material items didn't replace the love and adoration that should have been shown him. Neglect and manipulation can't be washed away with a gift.

Narcissa knew that, but she had felt defenseless.

When she had asked Harry Potter if Draco was alive, it was the first time in her life that she had done what she wanted. She had figured out she had a voice. Too bad for her son that she had found out a little too late.

By then he had already been driven to the brink of insanity. She would hear him screaming in his sleep. And she didn't want to even think about what sort of vile things The Dark Lord had made him do.

There was no stopping Lucius when they first chose to be a part of the faction, but she could have stopped her son!

She held back tears as she placed a hand upon the white oak finish.

She wished it had been her that had taken the dark mark that night.

If she could do it over again, she would have done anything to save her son from his nightmares.

 

 **Chapter Revised**  


	22. What Lies in Shadow Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo's plans as a would-be spy are put in jeopardy when he fails to keep his composure. Some things are better left unsaid.

Blaise's stomach churned as he sat in his room. He was normally a patient man, but when it came to Draco, he couldn't help but get a bit anxious. It had been at least an hour since he'd seen him and Weasley talking. What was taking him so long?

He was about to get up and go in search of him himself when he heard the creak of the door being opened.

"Draco?" Blaise could see the pain in his eyes as he shut the door behind him.

The blonde's hard features were quickly fading with each step. He brushed past Blaise without as much as a mutter.

"What's wrong?" He asked again, this time more aggressively. "You don't look so good, mate."

"It's over." Draco sputtered. "I struck a deal with Weasley."

Realization sunk in quickly. "You didn't-"

"It had to be done!" He interrupted, turning around to face his friend, his eyes shining with a certain sadness Blaise had never before seen in him. "I had no choice."

Blaise couldn't help but see visions of Granger's angry tear streaked face as his friend turned his back on her. "Draco, there must be a better-"

"There isn't! I've thought of everything, Blaise. I've spent countless nights going over thousands of possibilities and everyone on of them ended in disaster." He said as he moved one shaky hand to move a strand of hair that had now fallen in front of his left eye. "Don't you see? I have to protect them. This is the only way I know how." He began pacing the room frantically as Blaise stood there, near dumbstruck at this extremely uncharacteristic behavior.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Blaise cleared his throat. "Maybe you should sit down."

"How can I?" Draco half cried. "How can I calm down when I know at this very second he's with her? And knowing that soon she's going to come find me and I'm going to have to act like I don't want anything to do with her?"

"And whose fault do you think that is?" Blaise retorted a little more harshly than intended.

Draco cut his eyes at him. "Don't fucking patronize me."

Blaise knew he'd crossed a line. This was no time to get the blonde all defensive. He wanted his friend to trust him, not get in a bloody row with him. "I'm not. I get it. You're trying to protect them from your father."

At the mention of his father, Draco's eyes hardened. Well so much for not rowing. "I know what you're thinking and you're wrong." He spat. "I'm not a bloody coward. There's more to this than a blood prejudice family and my git of a father. You have no fucking clue what kind of trouble I could be in. Or what kind of trouble they could be in because of me. You have no bloody idea what's been haunting me!"

"You could tell me."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Bollocks. I know a lot more than you give me credit for. Did you honestly think you could hide your connection to your old Death Eater mate, Aldamar?"

Draco stilled. "What did you say?"

"You heard me."

Draco rushed at him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. "Where did you hear that name?!"

"You mean besides the times you talk in your sleep?" He asked trying to make light of it. When he was met with a scowl and even tighter grip he hissed, "Let go of me, Draco. Get ahold of yourself!" He grabbed the wrists holding him and tried to pry them off.

It was to no avail. Draco's grip held firm as he shouted, "Tell me!"

"I read the fucking letter, ok?" Blaise recanted. "I had no idea it was from him. You were acting weird and I saw you put it away. I saw you look at that drawer a dozen times. I saw how it was affecting you, so one night when you were with Granger I read it."

"You went through my things?" He asked, his voice oozing betrayal.

"I was worried about you! I thought it was about your father so I figured it was ok. Wasn't my best decision, I admit, but dammit I was trying to help you!"

"Despite your  _noble_  intentions, you know how I feel about privacy." He said, finally letting his friend go and stepping back.

Blaise readjusted himself and rolled his eyes. Even in the midst of an emotional crisis the wizard was bent out of shape over his privacy. "I know. I get it. I'm sorry. But honestly, aren't you glad I know?" He asked. "Now you don't have to worry about it by yourself."

Draco paused. "I didn't want to get you involved."

"That's your problem, mate. You want to do everything by yourself." His eyes followed Draco's movements as he crossed the room and tore open the bottom drawer of his desk. Blaise knew what he kept in there. "But you don't have to anymore. It's time you lean on someone. I want to help you, Draco _. Let me help you_."

Draco poured two glasses of Firewhiskey and handed one to Blaise. "It may prove to be the worst decision of your life." He said as he raised the glass to his lips.

Blaise nodded. "Maybe, but it's my decision to make." He took a drink and tried to get past the bitterness. How the sodding hell did Draco drink this stuff on a regular basis? "You know, Granger won't go down without a fight."

"That's why I'm glad to be leaving after the holiday." He replied, swirling the liquor in the glass a bit as he spoke. "It honestly works out in my favor. Though I will need your help. When I'm gone keep an eye on her will you?"

"Following through with your plan then? Taking up the Ministry’s offer?"

"Of course. Nothing has changed. I leave for Auror Training the first of the year. I can't let  _the Chosen One_  get the better of me."

Blaise rolled his eyes. "I wonder how you're mum is going to react when you tell her at Christmas Dinner."

"It's going to shock her, to say the least." Draco sighed. "But it's the only way I can get out from under him."

Blaise shook his head. "I still can't see you as an Auror, Draco."

"Honestly, neither can I," Draco admitted before setting his empty glass on the desktop. "I always imagined taking over the family business, but things change. Auror Malfoy….It's got a certain air about it, don't you think?"

Before Blaise could respond the door flew open and banged against the wall, exposing a very angry Theodore Nott.

* * *

 

Theo softly kissed Pansy's sleeping face before adjusting his trousers and sneaking quietly out of her dorm. It was slowly becoming a routine to them. He'd spent more time with the brunette than he'd initially thought he would. At first, he felt a good fling was in order. She was a pureblood and one that had the most dirt on Draco. But as time went by he'd found himself growing quite fond of her.

He'd always thought she was attractive, but he'd honestly never tried to get close to her. She was always following blindly behind Draco. Not that he could blame her. He had too, once upon a time. But this was different. She was supposed to be his pawn now. She was going to be his alibi and ally without her even knowing it.

Problem was, he was slowly falling for her charms. Sure she could be a cold-hearted wench when she wanted to be, and she knew her way around the gossip ring, but she had an air about her. She was beautiful in a way, with her slightly upturned nose and rosy cheeks. She could use her looks, and her words to cut her enemies down. Theo liked that about her. She was straight forward in her feelings towards others. If she didn't like you, you knew. She didn't sugar coat it. He wished he could be so bold.

No. He wasn't the type to wear his intentions on his sleeve. He had to be sly and patient. And to put it simply, remain mostly invisible and non-threatening. That's how he would cut his enemies down. He was nothing like Pansy. And maybe that's why he admired her gusto.

Too bad Draco hadn't seen what he could have had with her. Perhaps if he had, things wouldn't have ended up this way. Perhaps they could have been friends.

He shook his head at the thought.

Why waste his time on the if, and's, and but's?

Besides, if Draco had taken Pansy as his partner, then Theo wouldn't have had a chance to get to know her in this vulnerable, intimate way.

His thoughts were still on Pansy and a pair of silky pink knickers when he came upon his room. He heard shouting from within, but instead of interrupting, he stood outside, ear pressed firmly to the door. When he'd left Pansy, he'd wanted nothing more than to go to bed. But how could he do that when Draco and Blaise were in the middle of a row? Or at least that was what he assumed was happening in there. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying. He caught every few words or so.

Draco was speaking now, his voice firm and demanding.

"When…gone keep an eye….got it?"

What on earth were they talking about?

Blaise spoke next, "You're still….up….offer?"

"Of course….auror..training…can't…. _Chosen one_ …better of me."

Auror training? Ministry office? Chosen one?

Then he remembered the night Draco had told Blaise he was taking the ministry up on their offer. At the time, he'd thought it was about his father, but now he wasn't so sure. He pressed his body so close to the door he felt as if he was becoming part of it.

"It's going to shock a few people, to say the least." Draco sighed. "But it's the only way I can get out from under him."

"I still can't see you as an Auror, Draco."

Draco as an Auror?

Bile rose in the back of his throat.

Draco was going to become an Auror?

If he did that, then he'd be going after the death eaters that were still on the run.

He'd be going after his father.

He couldn't stand there any longer. He threw the door open, eyes alit and hand gripping his wand tightly.

Draco and Blaise looked shaken by his sudden entrance.

He didn't give a shit.

"Theo, what's wrong?" Blaise cocked his head to the side.

"Is it true?" He asked, ignoring Blaise completely and shooting Draco an accusing look.

Draco looked rather bored as he replied, "Is what true?"

Theo swallowed loudly. "That you're becoming an Auror?"

"Yes." He stated without hesitation. "Why do you ask?"

Anger rose up in his chest. How could he? How  _dare_  he?! In an instant, Theo's wand was pointed at his former friend's chest and he shouted, " ** _Confringo"_**

Draco quickly stepped out of the way of the jet of light and watched at the bookcase behind him exploded causing thousands of tiny pieces of scorched paper to flutter to the ground around them like confetti.

"What the  _fuck_  was that?" Draco demanded, whirling around and taking a menacing step towards Theo. "Trying to blow my bloody head off were you?"

"If only." Theo scowled. "I don't understand. Why would you join them?"

"I'm sorry. I wasn't aware I had to ask your permission."

Theo sucked in a sharp breath. How dare he make sarcastic comments at a time like this? Who the hell did he think he was? "I can't fucking believe you." He hissed. "Joining the Auror office? You'll be sending your comrades to Azkaban or worse."

" _Former_  comrades." Draco corrected. "Though I understand how you'd get that confused." Blaise elbowed him in the side but Draco shrugged him off.

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"Why should it? I defected remember?"

"Defected?" Theo laughed, maniacally. "Defected is just another word for backstabbing cowardice. And that's exactly what you are. A bloody coward. I'm sure our old headmaster would agree with me. Considering you couldn't even get up the nerve to kill  _him_."

Draco stepped forward but Blaise held out an arm to stop him from lunging at Theo. "I'd be in your best interest to shut that mouth of yours,  _Nott_." Draco clenched his fists at his sides. "Before I shut it for you."

But he didn't. He kept on going. "You're bloody pathetic, Draco. And you know it."

"At least at the end, I came back here. I faced my punishment. I didn't run away and hide in the gutter like the rest of them."

"Punishment? You got a slap on the wrist just like your mum. You both escaped judgment because of Harry-fucking-Potter and that bleeding heart of his. And now you're teaming up with the prick to go after the Death Eaters? To go after my  _father_?" He choked. "He's all I have left, and you know that!"

Draco's eyes dropped briefly. "I was rather hoping I wouldn't have to go after him, specifically."

"You know you will." Theo folded his arms across his chest in an attempt to keep himself calm. "Despite the  _defected_  status you so uphold, you  _were_  a Death Eater. And you know them better than any of the ministries lackeys. The first thing they'll do is order you to hunt them down. Don't act like you haven't thought of that scenario."

Draco sighed and admitted, "Of course I have, Theo."

"Then why the hell did you accept the offer?!" Theo exploded. "Even after knowing you might have to track down the only family I've got left? And it's not just  _me_. Pansy and Gregory's fathers are out there somewhere too. What were you going to do if you found them? Turn them in, torture them for information, or just ship them off to Azkaban? Did you think of that? Did it bother you, or did it not weigh on your conscious?"

"You act as if I should be concerned. Am I heartless if I don't care what happens to them? "He sounded angry but his face was still a mask of indifference. Theo really hated that unmoving mask of his." I don't owe them a damn thing." The blonde continued. "They stood by and watched as I was tortured over and over again. They laughed and mocked me when I didn't want to take innocent people's lives, and not one of them spoke up when the dark mark was forced upon me. So don't act as if they are on the top of my best mates list."

"Fine, if it's not enough to think about them, think about us. Your friends. Or maybe you don't care about us either?"

"It's nothing personal," Draco said as he took a step back. "I'm sorry that it affects you, Theo. Truly I don't want to hurt what friends I have left, but I can't let this opportunity pass me by."

Theo felt as if his heart was going to explode. After all these years of following this git around, hanging onto his every word, and helping him pull pranks and tricks against the Gryffindor's with Crabbe and Goyle, all he had to say to him was, "it's nothing personal"? He'd been fed up with him for a while, but this just topped the cake.

"Fuck you, Draco." He spat as Draco turned from him, seemingly undaunted by their conversation. Theo despised him for it. The hatred was working its way to the surface. He couldn't stop it. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to see that damn mask of his crack. "Oh wait, that's right." He spoke slowly and deliberately, making sure Draco heard every word. "You have the  _mudblood_ bitch for that."

Nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

In a mere second Draco had spun around and advanced on him, shoving his wand under his chin. His eyes were dark and his face was eerily calm as he held him at wand point. Blaise stood beside him motionless and speechless, seemingly taken aback by his words.

"You're stepping into dangerous territory, Theo," Draco warned.

"I'm not saying anything that isn't true." He retorted with a smirk. "I know you've been fucking her. For a couple months at least, I'd say. Though who knows how long it's really been going on. Could've been happening right under all our noses for _years_."

"I'm afraid you're not as smart as you think you are. There is nothing going on between Granger and me."

Theo narrowed his eyes. "If I'm so wrong, then why are you shoving your wand in my face?"

"Because I don't need you running off and spouting nonsense that could put my position in jeopardy."

"Yes, that's it. Do you think so low of me? I'm not some trollop. I don't much like gossip. But go ahead, obliviate me or whatever else you want to do to shut me up." The two wizards stared each other down for a few minutes before Draco relented and lowered his wand. "We were friends once." Theo continued, though in his heart he knew they never were. "So I'm not going to hold back. You're making a mistake joining the Auror Department. It won't end well. For you," He paused for effect. "Or for her."

"Are you deaf, or do you just have the mental capacity of a goldfish?" Draco sneered. "How many times must I say it? There is nothing going on between me and Granger."

"Or so you adamantly defend."

Blaise, who had kept silent through the row, finally shifted on his feet and spoke quietly. "I think you've said enough, Theo."

"I don't-"

"Just stop!" He exclaimed. "Just…Stop. Don't you think we would have all noticed if he was having an affair with Granger? I, for one, haven't seen anything."

Theo had had enough. He was tired of the lies. He was tired of them both making a fool of him. "Bullocks!" He snapped. "You've both been tip toeing around for weeks. Just because I'm silent, doesn't mean I'm sleeping."

Draco and Blaise exchanged looks.

"That's right. Your silence charms don't work so well when we're in the same bloody room. I know all about your father, and I knew you were sleeping with Granger. I also know that Pansy found out, but somehow she doesn't remember a thing about it." He cut his eyes at Draco. "I wonder how  _that_  happened. Did you do it yourself? Or did you have your boyfriend here do it for you? Salzar knows you two are inseparable these days. Probably teamed up on the mudblood too. I'm curious, did you take turns, or fuck her at the same time?"

Suddenly, for the second time that day, he was face to face with a wand. But it wasn't Draco's. It was Blaise's.

"I suggest you shut the hell up, Theo." His voice was calm now, but his face was angry. "Before you say one too many things you're going to regret."

Now he knew he'd gone too far. He'd let his anger and resentment get the best of him. There was no way they were going to let him out of here with his memories intact. He had a backup plan in case this was to happen, he just didn't think he'd have to use it this soon. Before his father fled after the war he'd taken Theo aside. Theo had wanted to go with him, but Jonathan wouldn't allow it. He'd quickly and quietly taught Theo a counterspell to use to revoke the effects of memory charms. It had one flaw, though. It had to be spoken before the last syllable fell, or it wouldn't work. He'd hoped that would help him, in case The Order decided to question him in regards to his father's whereabouts. Theo didn't know if he could pull it off, though. If not, he was going to be starting all over in his quest to get the better of Draco Malfoy.

"I'm going to assume," Theo said slowly, "That what I'm saying at least has a bit of truth behind it. Otherwise, the two of you wouldn't be so quick to threaten me."

Blaise eyed him suspiciously but Draco shook his head behind him. "Let's say you're right. Let's say I have been fucking her. Why do you care who I chose to share my bed with?"

"I normally wouldn't. But considering what she is, I tend to care a bit about that." He turned his gaze back to Blaise. "At least in your case, Lovegood is a pureblood. If you fuck her your blood status is intact, no matter how barmy she may be." Blaise frowned but Theo continued. "If you haven't noticed, purebloods are running on low supply these days. To fuck a mudblood while pure marriage betrothals loom is a traitorous affair."

"Theo, I'm _shocked_." Draco drawled." I didn't think you were that invested in my future prospects."

He frowned. "I don't give a fuck about your prospects."

"No." The blonde agreed. "I suppose not. After all, Pansy wasn't a part of them. And that's who you are worried about, right? Well, don't waste your energy, mate. She wasn't even in the running to be a Malfoy. You can have her."

Theo could take a lot of things from Draco. He could take the sarcasm, the outbursts, the sodding prince image, and the fact that if left unchallenged, he was probably going places in his life that Theo never would. What he couldn't take was Draco's lack of empathy towards Pansy. "Fuck you!" He shouted angrily. "She would have given up everything for you! She loved you! And what do you do? Throw her aside for that Gryffindor slag? Fuck you! You are worse than scum! And if you do find my father when you are out there playing good guy Gryffindor, I'll be here, praying to Salzar he kills you on the spot!"

Draco's eyes darkened but the other boy didn't say another word. He just exchanged a look with Blaise and turned away from them.

"What? Nothing to say eh, Draco? Mudblood got your tongue?"

Draco paused at the door before opening it. "I'm sorry, Theo." He said, and Theo knew it was time to act.

Blaise muttered the spell to end it all, but as "Obliviate left his lips, Theo managed to use the counter curse his father taught him. The last thing he saw before passing out was the floor rushing up to meet him.

 

* * *

 

Hermione felt a growing sense of unease as she finished her Potion's class work. Something was definitely off, but she couldn't place a finger on it. She had been feeling better pregnancy wise, as she was through her first trimester. She tried to shrug the feeling off as she looked up at the clock.

Was it ten thirty-five already?

She sighed and closed her book. It was time to call it a night. Before she could get up from the table, however, a flash of red hair entered her peripheral vision.

"I've been looking for you." The all too familiar voice of Ron Weasley spoke beside her.

She turned to face him. "What? No longer giving me the silent treatment?" She chortled. "Or have you just found new words to mock me with?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I came to tell you that I was wrong for saying those things about you. I was caught off guard and my anger got the better of me. I'm sorry it took me this long to apologize but you, more than anyone, know how bloody stubborn I can be."

"Stubborn, yes. And also an insufferable arse."

"Yeah, I agree." He replied. "Which is why I'm here now, apologizing. The things I said about you, it makes me sick to remember it. I should have seen that you were trying to do the right thing by me. I was hurt, and felt betrayed but that was no excuse for making you feel like shit. I blamed you for my misery for weeks. But I know now that I'm the only one to blame. For pushing you away at the start of this whole thing, and for unleashing my anger on you. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, so I'm not going to ask for it."

"Ron."

He raised a hand to silence her. "No, Hermione. Just let me finish." She bit her lip to keep from speaking further. "I've given your situation a lot of thought lately." He resumed. "Honestly, it's about all I can bloody think about. And I've been turning an idea around in my head for a while now." His eyes held hers as he continued. "I know you think you're happy with Malfoy. And maybe you are. Maybe you two love each other and want to be a happy little family. But sooner or later you're going to realize that it just can't work between the two of you."

"Hah!" She laughed loudly. "Alright,  _Harry_. I see what you're trying to do. But nothing you can say will make me change my mind."

"Yeah, that might be true, but I'm going to try anyway."

"Fine. I'm listening. Tell me your  _great_  idea." She replied crossly.

"Harry told me that Malfoy's leaving after the holidays. He going to become an Auror with Harry. What will you do when he's gone? When you come back I'm sure you won't be able to hide the fact that you're pregnant from everyone. Even if you placed a disillusion spell on yourself, many will still suspect something is wrong. What will you do then? There will be a thousand questions and you will be the only one here to answer them. Don't tell me he is going to let you out him as the father?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Well, no-"

"That's what I thought."

She scowled at him. "So what do you think I should do then?"

"I think that you should tell people when we get back from holiday. That way no one will think you're trying to purposely hide it."

"And what would I say when they ask who the father is?"

"You should let them assume it's who they think it is."

"But most people will think it's you."

He nodded. "Exactly."

"Are you daft? Why would I let you pretend to be my baby's father?"

"Because it will make it easier on you." He said quickly. "No one will judge or harass you. We could even spin a story about getting married this summer. In fact, I want you to come back to the burrow with Ginny and I. You can't go back to that empty house in London. I can't imagine how horribly sad it would make you. Please, Hermione. Let me help you. Let us all help you. You can't raise the baby on your own, and if you think Malfoy is going to stick around to help, you’re going to be disappointed. He'll establish a new life as an Auror and he'll forget all about you."

Anger filled her chest. "How dare you! He isn't the same as he used to be, Ron! You may not see it, but I do."

"Alright, let's say you're right. Let's say he sticks to his promises and tries to be "daddy", what do you think will happen? Your friends may be behind you, but don't think the whole of the Wizarding World will support your choice of lover. Not to mention his bastard of a father. You think Lucius Malfoy is going to accept that his son fathered a child with a muggle born? Don't make me laugh, Hermione. You and I both know that you're hopes are too high."

"You know what makes me laugh? The fact that you think you can come here, after everything you said and did to me, and presume to tell me what I should and shouldn't do. Even if things went south with Malfoy, do you honestly think I'd come crawling back to your side? I don't need your help, Ron and I don't want it." She shoved past him and headed for the door.

"Maybe not now!" He replied. "But one day you will. You'll realize that he won't be there for you. He'll abandon you. And when he does I'll be waiting. Harry, Ginny, and I will be waiting."

* * *

 

Blaise tucked Theo comfortably into his bed. The boy groaned but didn't wake. "Do you think we went too far?" He asked the blonde across the room. He knew hitting Theo with a sleeping spell right after Obliviate was risky.

"He'll be fine in the morning," Draco assured him. "He might feel like shit, but he'll be fine."

Blaise stood and headed to his trunk, slipping out of his trousers and putting on the green pajama bottoms he always wore to bed. "He wasn't entirely wrong you know."

"About what?"

"You becoming an Auror." He said. "It is going to leave a bad taste in many of your friend's mouths."

"I was aware of that when I accepted to offer."

"Just making sure you knew what you were doing."

"Come now, Blaise. When do I ever do anything without thinking it through?"

He paused for a moment. "Well, there was this one time when you impregnated a muggle born."

Draco almost laughed. _Almost_. "Yes, and I'm paying for it dearly."

"All humor aside, do you think she'll go for it?"

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "I hope so. For her sake."

It was after eleven when Draco heard a soft knock on the door.

Blaise was the first to get up. He walked to the door and called out, "Who is it?" There was a response and though Draco couldn't hear it, he knew who it was.

Lovegood would never come to the dorm. It had to be Hermione.

She entered the room in a hurry, brushing past Blaise and almost sprinting to meet Draco halfway. Her eyes darted to Theo's sleeping form and she took a quick step back. "It's alright," Blaise told her, reaching for his robe. "He was hit with a nasty spell earlier. He's out cold. But since I'm in good health, I'll leave you two alone. It seems you have an urgent matter to discuss."

She gave him a small nod. "Thank you."

He smiled and retreated into the darkened hallway.

"So, what's going on? You never come here in the middle of the night."

She started pacing back and forth in front of him. "It's crazy really. I should have just gone straight to bed, but before I knew it, I was already in the dungeons. I just had to speak with you."

His heart began thumping hard in his chest. This was it. Weasley had already spoken with her. This was probably the last time he would be able to freely interact with her. "What's wrong, Hermione?"

"Nothing." She replied, then sighed. "Everything."

He grabbed her hand so she would stop pacing. "Tell me."

"It's just, Ron. He came to see me tonight while I was studying in the library." She looked shaken.

This was it. He had to play the part. "What did he do to you? Are you hurt? Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. He just wanted to talk."

"What did he say?"

She hesitated. "I don't know why I came here, honestly. I know he was just trying to rattle me."

Draco knew she was trying to be strong. He loved that about her. He motioned for her to sit down."It's ok. You can tell me."

She took a seat on the chair near the fireplace and he took the one next to it.

"He said it was only a matter of time before you left me." She said after a moment. "He said that when you leave to become an Auror, I won't be able to hide it anymore. I'll have to answer questions and when I do I can't name you as the father."

"Well, he's not wrong." He admitted. “You’ve said so yourself.”

"But he's wrong about everything else. I mean, he actually thinks that I'll come live with him and his family after the baby is born. He said I'll _need_ him. That you won't be there for me. He told me to let everyone assume  _he's_  the father so I won't be judged. As if I care what they think. I have my friends, that's all I need. And he was so sure of himself. Like he just _knew_ you'd abandon us. It pisses me off, to be honest." He could feel her anger and he understood it. But there was no backing out. It had to be done. "He is so arrogant! I can't believe he thought I'd be so easily swayed! I have more integrity than that." She sighed. When Draco didn't reply she placed a hand on his. "Draco?"

He looked up at her. "I'm afraid I'm inclined to agree with him."

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "Excuse me? I'm afraid I misheard you." She said. "Did you miss the part where he said he wants me to live with him?"

"No, I got that." He replied, his voice sharp and unfeeling. "I heard it all."

This was harder than Draco had anticipated. He thought he'd have a couple of days to be cruel to her, make her feel insecure, and then when she came to him with Weasley's proposition in her heart, he would strike her with a final, fatal blow. It would have been easier for him to keep his emotions in check if he'd had the time to prepare. He looked at her now, her eyes wide and her pretty mouth ready to cut into him, and his resolve almost wavered.

"You realize what his plan is, and you still  _agree_  with it?"

Draco nodded, before standing up. He couldn't sit still any longer. "Honestly, it would work out better that way." He told her. "For all parties involved."

"How can you say that with a straight face?" She asked, jumping up from the chair to face him. "You  _do_  realize he wants to claim it as his own?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, that much was obvious."

She crossed her arms and gave him a stern look. "So you think it's a great idea then? It’s better this way? It's in  _my_  best interest to go along with his charade?"

"I do." He replied nonchalantly, but Draco was unprepared for her fury.

"Well, you’ve certainly changed your tune. So now you agree with his notions of me? You think I am helpless. You think that I can't take care of myself or my child when the time comes? You think I can't raise them on my own, with my own two hands? You think I need you, or him, to make it?" He could see her eyes shining. "Do you honestly doubt my abilities to that degree?"

"I don't doubt your abilities, Hermione." He reassured her. "I only doubt the loyalty of others."

"Loyalty? You want to talk about loyalty?" She screeched. He took a step backward, afraid she would suddenly strike him. "What happened to your loyalty to me? I seem to recall some plan of buying a flat and helping me raise our child. I’m positive you stood there  _promising_  me that you wouldn't abandon us. So what happened between then and now? What happened to your resolve?" Her anger waned for a moment, her voice taking a sad tone."Or was it all just a lie from the beginning? Was it just pretty words meant to comfort me? Words that held no real meaning behind them?"

He frowned. "It was never my intent-"

"Intended or not, Draco, you're going back on your word!" She cried, eyes ablaze once more. "After promising again and again that you wouldn't, and for what? Your fear of responsibility? I _told_ you in the beginning that I could do it on my own. I told you that you weren’t obligated, that I didn't need your help, but you _insisted_! You kept me close. You wouldn't let me forget my feelings for you! You let me dream of a future, a future you've apparently secretly been plotting against?"

"I don't want to do this, Hermione. I don't want to hurt you. You have to believe me. I want to be with you, more than you could ever know. But it's not that simple. There's much you don't know."

"Then why don't you just  _tell_  me? What is so bad that you'd gladly push me into Ron's arms?

His eyes looked to the floor. "I thought I could do right by you, by our child, but I was naive. I wanted you too much. I wanted to believe in a better future. I wanted to believe I could achieve it if I only wanted it bad enough. But I was wrong. And I'm only realizing how selfish I've been." He finally met her gaze. "You have to let go of me, Hermione." He said quietly. "You have to let go of the dreams you’ve had of a life for us."

Two tears dropped freely down her cheeks. "What? Why would you say that?"

"I know you think I'm cruel, and maybe I am. Maybe I’m a coward, but I am being honest when I tell you this. I wanted nothing more than to be with you. I…I loved.." He choked on his words. "It doesn't matter what I feel, or what I've felt in the past. The only thing that matters now is your safety. I told you before, and maybe I wasn’t firm enough, but the baby will be in danger if their lineage becomes common knowledge."

"I think you are fearing your family way too much.."

"It's not just them, Hermione. And if you don't have the mind to fear my father, then you are more ignorant that I thought. He may have paled in comparison to the Dark Lord, but when it comes to silently taking care of matters that don't fit into his life's plan, there is no one more frightening. It would take only a snap of his fingers and someone would be there to do his dirty work. He wouldn't even bat an eyelash to send someone in the dark of the night to take the life of our child."

"We wouldn't let him!"

"We would be incredibly foolish to believe we could keep them safe forever!" He snapped. "Or would you want to raise them behind locked doors and fear? Would you want them to live life never knowing what it feels like to walk down the street without worry? Always having to look behind their back, always wondering if they've trusted the wrong person, never feeling safe. Do  _you_  want to live that way? I wouldn't wish that existence on anyone, let alone my child!"

She recoiled from him. "So that's it then? That's why you want me to be with Ron? So we don’t have to be scared?"

"I just want you to be safe," He wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "And if you're with me, you'll never be."

She took his hand from her face. "I wish you would have confided in me. I wish you wouldn’t have let me get this invested in you."

Draco ripped his hand from her loose grasp. "You wouldn't have believed me."

"I wish you would have given me a choice." He didn't reply. Instead, he turned away from her and leaned his arms on the mantle above the fireplace. "I understand your reasons, Draco." She continued. "So I'll give you what you want."

He heard the door open but he didn't move.

"I won't come to you again." She said from the doorway. "I won't make you take responsibility. I understand your fear and I recognize that you didn't mean to hurt me. So I'll do you a favor by leaving. But know this. I'm not just going to run to Ron's side either. I'm stronger than  _either_  of you give me credit for."

Her parting words made him spin quickly around. "Hermione!" He called, but she was already gone.

Hermione's anger filled every step as she made her way to her room. She was furious with Malfoy and Ron both. Had she done nothing the last 8 years? One would think after helping save the Wizarding World they'd have more faith in her.

When she reached her room she all but slammed the door behind her.

Ginny sat up, startled by the loud noise. "Hermione? What's wrong?"

"What  _isn't_  wrong?" She half yelled, kicking off her shoes and tearing the robe off her body.

Ginny watched her aggressively put on her nightgown and throw herself onto the bed. "Want to talk about it?"

Hermione groaned. "No. I just. Men are bastards!" She rolled over and faced the wall. Ginny was quiet so she assumed she was going back to sleep. Good. It was better that way. She would be poor company tonight. As she breathed deeply the anger subsided but in its place came the cold sadness she'd almost forgotten.

Draco had lied to her. He may not have intended to, but it happened anyway. She knew he thought he was doing the right thing. But it wasn't only up to him to decide what happened with their baby. She placed a hand on her stomach.

She thought about it every day. She couldn't wait to meet them. She had all these dreams for them. Dreams that she thought were possible because of all the empty promises Draco had made. It hurt. It hurt worse than anything he'd ever done to her and she had no one to blame but herself. She knew this would probably happen, but she hadn’t wanted it to be true. So she let herself believe his lies.

And Ron may have thought his little plan was perfect, but he was wrong to think she would so quickly abandon her feelings for Malfoy. Both of them thought they knew what was best for her. Both of them were egotistical, selfish arses and she hated it. She hated how they made her feel an inch tall. Until now, no one could do that. Not even Bellatrix. She had always maintained a decent self-esteem. There were times when it had lessened, the last few months to be sure, but she hadn't let anyone get the better of her.

Somehow she had let them both take her will power.

When had that happened? Who the hell was she? What had she become? A sniveling, weak, witch dependent on a man to make her feel special?

No. She refused to be that girl.

She was done crying.

The only one that had any say in what happened to her baby from this point on was her.

 

 

 


	23. What Lies in Shadow Part II

**_Monday, November 30, 1998_ **

_The late summer sun was shining through the trees, casting a beautiful glow across the book in her lap. She could feel the warm rays caressing her cheek as she turned a page. Never in her life had she felt more content._

_A soft cry took her attention from the story. Hermione shielded her eyes as she looked across the garden. A pair of bright blue eyes met hers. "I think someone is waking up." She felt herself smile as her eyes fell from Draco's face and onto the pram he was pushing towards her. Another cry, more urgent this time, escaped from the infant's mouth and he stopped quickly to lift the crying baby into his arms._

_She rose from her comfortable spot on the bench and reached her hands out. Her heart swelled with love and her arms ached to hold the plumb child. Her child. "Shhh," she whispered, "Mummy's here." But just as her fingers brushed against smooth skin, the sky darkened and she took a step back. There was a tension in the air, and she felt the presence of other wizards closing in around them. She reached for her wand but realized, too late, that she had left it inside._

_"We know you're there!" She turned to see that Draco was already in a fighting stance, one arm wrapped protectively around their baby, and the other grasping his wand tightly. "Show yourself!" He demanded angrily._

_"Have you been having fun playing house, Draco?" Lucius stepped out from behind the tree Hermione had been reading under just moments before. "I'm honestly surprised how," he paused, "_ _**domesticated** _ _you seem to be."_

_Draco's face was void of emotion as he slowly handed the baby to Hermione and moved in between them and his father. "Yes, well not everyone wants to leave the child rearing to the house elves."_

_The remark didn't faze the older Malfoy. Instead, his eyes moved from his son to Hermione. "Yes, I wonder where you acquired those sentiments."_

_"What do you want?" Draco sneered._

_Lucius stepped forward. "I think you know." He lifted his hand and pointed a finger in Hermione's direction. "I have to erase them from your life."_

_"Hermione, get inside!"_

_She didn't need him to tell her that. She was already running towards the door. A flash of light soared past her left ear and the baby screamed loudly. She was almost to the steps when someone apparated right in front of her. She was running so fast she almost crashed right into them._

_"Where do you think you're going girly?" An unfamiliar wizard asked with a gap toothed smile._

_"Get out of my way!" She yelled._

_"Give me the baby and I'll go wherever you want."_

_Her heart raced in fear while her brain tried desperately to figure out a way to get around the man. Draco cursed behind her._

_"You seem surprised son." She heard Lucius laugh coldly. "Did you honestly think I'd come alone?" He nodded to the man in question. "Tobias, if you'd be so kind?"_

_The wizard in front of her, or Tobias as he was called, stepped closer, wand raised. Was this it? Was she really going to go down like this? She clutched the screaming baby closer to her chest. Maybe if she could turn her back at the last second the curse would hit only her and somehow Draco could get the baby to safety. Her muscles flexed in preparation for her plan._

_"Just leave them alone!" Draco cried out._

_"I'm afraid that's impossible. I can't have our bloodline tainted. As long as that child lives there can be no peace, not when a true Malfoy heir can be challenged by them."_

_Hermione felt her face grow hot with rage and she turned her face towards Lucius, but the moment her focus shifted from Tobias, he had her._

_"Stupify!"_

_She was frozen. Unable to move, unable to blink, and unable to do a thing to stop the man from snatching the baby from her arms. She could hear Draco's angry shouts between hurried curses while a sorrowful desperation filled her chest. She watched on helplessly as Tobias lifted his wand._

_"No!"_

"Hermione," Ginny's voice drifted into her troubled sleep. "Wake up."

Hermione rubbed her eyes, confused by the darkness still lingering in the room. "Ginny? What time is it?"

"Early." She said, taking a seat on the end of the bed. "You were whimpering in your sleep."

She sat up. "Was I?" The dream was slowly coming back to her; the garden, her child, and…Lucius. Her pulse quickened at the awful memory but she took a deep breath. It wasn't real. It wasn'.. "Sorry, it was just…a dream."

"Hermione, I know I haven't exactly been the greatest friend to you lately, and I don't deserve your confidence but if something is bothering you, you can tell me."

Hermione was quiet for a moment. While it was true Ginny had been giving her a bit of a cold shoulder, she knew the redhead still cared about her. If things stayed as they were between them, she knew their friendship would never last. "I'm struggling, Gin." She finally whispered. "Every time I think I've got it all figured out, something comes along and plunges me back under water. I'm barely staying afloat." Ginny placed her hand on her knee.

"Are you worried about the baby? Or…" her words drifted away. Hermione knew what she was asking, even if she couldn't say it.

"Both?" She answered honestly. "When I found out about the baby I was terrified. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to be the smart one, the career path witch. I had so many plans and getting pregnant with Malfoy's baby definitely wasn't one of them, but it _happened_. I didn't know what to do, or what to think. I felt so alone. I didn't know how Draco was going to handle it, or how any of you were going to handle it. I was so worried about how everyone was going to react that I forgot to worry about what came after. " The pain and anger from the previous night flared up in her chest. She didn't want to rely on them anymore. She could do it herself.

She took a deep breath and looked up to meet Ginny's gaze. "I know how angry this must have made you, but honestly, I wouldn't take it back. This child," She said, placing a hand on the small bump of her abdomen, "means everything to me. I don't care how anyone else feels about it now. I know how I feel. I want to protect it no matter what." The visions of her dream flashed in her mind. No. She wouldn't let that happen. The last pieces of a plan where coming together now. "Even if that means giving up everything else I've come to know and love."

Ginny's eyes widened in surprise. "What are you talking about? You don't have to give up anything, Hermione. We may have been angry, but you're our friend, we would never-"

"That's the point." Hermione started, cutting her off. "I've let everyone else's feelings and demands take precedence over my own. I'm not playing that game anymore. I'm tired of being told what to do! I'm tired of getting my hopes up and I'm tired of being hurt!"

"What happened last night?" Ginny asked.

Hermione contemplated telling her about Ron, but it was probably going to come out sooner or later. "Your brother came to me last night and told me he wanted us to work things out."

"Ron did?"

She nodded and told her everything he'd said. "It turns out he was right about one thing, though."

Ginny leaned in closer. "And what's that?"

"Draco. We…ended things last night, not that I'd say we were technically together. It's odd, though. I told him what Ron was suggesting and he didn't seem particularly surprised. In fact, he completely agreed with him. There's so much going on, and I know there are things he isn't telling me, but he made promises when I told him not to and to hear him say he wanted me to go along with Ron's plan, it just….it killed me, Ginny. I know you don't understand. You look at Draco and you see the vile thing that killed your brother. I get that. I do. But none of you have seen what I've seen in him. I…" She struggled, wondering if she should even be confessing her feelings out loud, "I think I love him, but I'm not stupid enough to believe that he truly feels the same. No matter what he says. One thing is certain, though, he does care about what happens to the baby. He believes its life would be in danger if we stayed together."

"His father you mean?"

Hermione closed her eyes and nodded. "If word got out to his family that he fathered a half-blood, he thinks his father will find a way to dispose of it, and me, if he had to. I didn't believe Lucius Malfoy would go that far but that dream, that dream has made me afraid. There's no way around it. I want to have this baby and I want them to have a good life."

"So why don't you come home with us then?" Ginny grabbed a hold of Hermione's hand. "Ron's right, we can just let everyone assume it's his. There won't be anything to worry about."

"No. I don't think that would work. I don't…I don't think I could do it. I _can't_ pretend it's his. I believe he thinks if we do that, then I will fall back in love with him and we can be a happy family."

"And what is so bad about that?"

"I don't love him anymore." She spoke truthfully. "Not in that way at least. I can't agree to his plan if he thinks we are going to get back together. I won't do that to him. He deserves happiness. Besides, if my baby comes out with a head full of blonde hair no one is going to believe they are a Weasley."

"Well, as long as Lucius doesn't find out then everything will be good right?"

"Even so, I don't want your family to get hurt. What if things get better and I leave? What then? Do I have Ron pretend to be Daddy for the rest his life? That's not fair. No. I've made up my mind. If protecting everyone means I'll have to go back to London and leave the Wizarding World behind me, that's what I'm going to do."

* * *

Luna hadn't slept well at all. She had a gnarling feeling in her stomach that something wasn't right. She was already suspicious of Draco and Ron's encounter, but it was more than that. She decided she'd just have to wait until she could speak to Hermione and see what was going on.

Breakfast had been a solemn affair. Hermione sat quietly, her eyes puffy and red, taking tiny bites of food now and then while Ginny whispered to her. Ron was equally as quiet, though his appetite wasn't affected in the slightest. His eyes kept resting on Hermione's downturned face. Luna would have found that strange if not for her accidental spying session with Blaise the day before. Ron had barely looked at Hermione the last two weeks, and now he couldn't seem to stop looking. It took all of her strength not to pour the rest of her food on his tray and take Hermione out of there.

She felt a warm hand intertwine with hers underneath the table. "You alright?"

She looked over at Blaise and whispered, "Do you know what's going on?"

"Yes." He nodded, "At least on my end. I'm not sure what's going to happen, though."

Luna looked down at her plate dismally. She had been so sure things were going to work out for them. Why did Draco have to back out at a time like this? "I suppose there is nothing we can do about it."

He leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. "We'll talk about it later."

* * *

_Bang! Slam! Screeeeech!_

The loud clamoring of books slamming and chairs sliding across the floor was enough to induce a dizzy spell. Theo raised a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. The classroom stopped spinning for a moment and he took a deep breath, trying once more to charm the head ache away. It didn't work, of course, he'd figured as much since he'd tried before getting out of bed that morning; but there was no harm in double checking.

Pansy put a hand on his shoulder and he started. "Are you alright?"

The boy nodded. "Just feeling a bit under the weather." Her brows knitted together in concern as she pressed her hand flush against his forehead. "Really, Pansy. I'm fine. I'm sure it's nothing." He said, batting her hand away. "Just go on. I'll catch up."

She didn't look convinced but she did as he asked and headed to her next class.

He sighed again as he rubbed his temples. Maybe he should have just stayed in bed. He hadn't been able to focus on his course work at all. He tried to remember what had happened the night before that could have caused this horrendous headache, but it was all fuzzy. There were bits and pieces of him and Pansy, and also some images of him working on Professor Flitwick's assignment, but it just didn't make sense. He knew he hadn't been drinking. Hangovers were quickly cured with the right charm, and that hadn't worked. Something was off.

He wracked his brain for clues.

_"Is it true? That you're becoming an Auror?"_ He recognized the voice as his own, and then blue eyes and blond hair flashed in his mind.

_"Yes."_

Sweat beaded along his hairline. What the bloody hell was that? A memory? When? He tried to fight the urge to lay his head down on the desk. This was _wrong_.

_"Think about us. Your friends. Or don't you care about us either?_

A cold, calm voice replies. _"I'm sorry that my decision affects you, Theo."_

He felt sick. He doubled over, almost falling out of his chair.

_"You're teaming up with the prick to go after the Death Eaters? To go after my father?"_

The classroom was spinning now, but he couldn't stop it. The floor was already rushing up to meet him.

Draco's face finally came into focus. _"I don't owe them a damn thing."_

A scream echoed in his ears.

_"It's nothing personal."_

Another scream rang out as his body jerked against the stone floor. It was so loud he thought his head may split in half. Who the hell was yelling? Stop. Make it stop! He rolled onto his side, vomiting violently before realizing, to his horror, the screams he was hearing belonged to him.

"Nott?!" Someone shouted above him. "What's wrong?" He struggled to answer, his head throbbed and trying to speak only made it worse. "It's alright, I've got you." The voice said softly. He felt himself being lifted into a sitting position. "Quick, someone help me get him to Madam Pomfrey!" He turned his head slowly, trying to see who it was that was helping him. His vision was blurred but the voice sounded so familiar. He tried to speak again but all that came out was a choking sound. "Shh, don't try to talk."

Someone else was kneeling beside him now. "What happened here?" It sounded like Professor Patton.

"I don't know, Professor. I just came to the classroom and he was on the floor screaming."

"I leave for one minute," He sighed. "Alright then, I'll be back in a moment. Get back everyone!"

As he was taken out of the classroom and away from the gathering crowd, he tried to remember whose face the voice belonged to.

* * *

Draco was on his way to his Transfiguration class when he heard that Theo had been taken to the hospital wing. He and Blaise exchanged worried looks before heading there.

"It couldn't have been the spell could it?" Blaise asked with a touch of tension in his voice.

"Not, likely," Draco replied. "I used it on Pansy and she was fine, not to mention Hermione's parents. They had their whole lives rearranged. You only took away a few memories."

"I know, but, it feels like it's my fault. I mean, you heard what that fifth year said. He was convulsing on the floor."

He stopped walking. "Don't. Don't do that."

Blaise stopped to look at him. "Don't do what?"

"Blame yourself." He spoke sternly. "Theo knew too much, and was in too much of an emotional state to be reasoned with. Our friendship, if what we had could even be called that, ended for him last night. He will never forgive my going to The Ministry." He began walking again, though his pace was much slower than before. Each step felt heavy to him as Theo's angry and hurt face flashed in his mind's eye.

"Theo may be the silent, broody type but he cares deeply for his father. "He said quietly. "I respect that. Family is very important. I've done my share of horrible things for the sake of mine, but he knew about Hermione and I. Maybe we weren't cautious enough. We took his silence as ignorance but he knew. It would only be a matter of time before he learned that she was pregnant with my child. In Theo's hands, as he is now, that information would be deadly. He had to forget. If you wouldn't have done it, I would have. "

Blaise agreed. "I know we did the right thing, but I still-"

"I'll take full responsibility for the incident if his illness is caused by the spell."

"Draco-"

They were coming up on the door to the infirmary. Draco took a deep breath. He hadn't really realized how worried he actually was until he was right in the doorway. "Let's just see how he is doing."

* * *

All she wanted to do was go back to bed. After the terrible night she'd had, she'd had a very trying morning as well.

She'd heard screaming while she was walking to her last class and ran into the room to see Theodore Nott on the ground, having what looked to be a seizure. She'd briefly wondered why she'd thought Wizards were immune to such things while she rushed to his aid. She turned him onto his side to keep him from choking on the bile and saliva that spewed from his mouth. He was muttering curses and she thought she heard Draco's name. She called for help and he was soon whisked away to see Madam Pomfrey.

Though it wasn't the worst thing she'd ever seen, it had shaken her a bit, so when she saw Harry practically running down the hall towards her she shook her head and held up a hand as she passed right by him. "Not now, Harry.

He ignored her and kept pace just behind her. "Ginny told me what you're planning to do."

Hermione stopped mid stride and turned around to look at him. "Oh?" Of course she did. "And you are here to try to change my mind?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know if I can, but I'm sure going to try."

"I'm not really in the mood for a debate."

"Just…hear me out. If you hate what I have to say then tell me to bugger off." He paused for a moment, waiting for her to protest. When she didn't he continued, "You love being a witch, Hermione, and you're a damn good one. No matter where you go, you'll still be a witch. So why try to fight it? You don't have to leave it all behind."

"I do, Harry. It's what's best for everyone."

Harry took her hand in his. "I know you believe that, and you've probably thought about it a hundred thousand times in the last 12 hours. I can tell that you're determined to do this, and I don't want to try to tell you what to do. It just…It pains me to think of you being alone in London. You don't belong in the muggle world anymore, especially after you lost your father. I know don't want to live at the Burrow, Hermione. I understand that. You want to do things your own way and that's what I love about you."

"I feel there is going to be a huge 'but' in there somewhere." She replied wearily.

He frowned. "Here's the part where I think you should hear me out. I think you _should_ stay at the burrow for a while." She opened her mouth to protest but he held up a finger. "Not for long, but long enough to get your bearings. I know you're strong. You've proven it time and time again, but this is so different. You don't know how you'll feel after having the baby. Do you even know how to care for one? This is something a book can't prepare you for. I mean, I haven't taken care of an infant or anything, but I can imagine. You may need help and you know Molly and Arthur would want to help you. They love you, regardless of whether or not you're with Ron."

"Ok, say I do stay awhile afterward, then what? Do you have a marvelous plan for that?"

"Yes." He stated, "You can come live in Grimmauld Place with me."

She stared at him in shock. That was quite unexpected. "You'd let me stay with you?"

"Of course. There's plenty of room there. It needs some major touch-ups, but it's a great house. I'll probably be gone a lot at first, but Ginny should be moving in during the summer so you'll have company. You can stay as long as you like."

She was silent for a moment and Harry thought she may decline his offer, but then her eyes locked with his. "I'll take it into consideration." She said. "Luna is worried about me being alone after the baby is born. And I won't lie, I'm completely terrified, but I want to do things my own way."

"I'd be crazy to think I could boss you around," Harry smiled. "You're still Hermione Granger, the _Chosen One'_ s best friend after all."

"Yes." She mused. "Yes, I am."

* * *

**Whitehall, London**

It was nearing midnight when a hooded figure crept quietly through the streets. He normally hated such travel, sneaking about in the middle of the night, but it was imperative that he meet up with his comrade. While things were going smoothly, there were a few matters that needed to be addressed. One of which was his henchmen's thirst for blood.

The pub where they were to meet came into view and the man entered without as much as a glance from the patrons already downing their pints. He took a seat next to the back exit and ordered himself a pint as he waited, trying to blend into the background. He brushed back his hood and a few loose strands of curly black hair fell into his face. He left them alone as he sipped on the beer in his hand and thought about how the plan was coming along.

It didn't take long before he spotted Fenrir Greyback making his way across the room.

The werewolf plopped down on the seat, ushering to the bartender that he too, wanted a drink. "What did you call me out here for, Bastien?" A small, slender girl set down his drink and he eyed her hungrily as she walked away. " I thought you wanted me to stay put." He said before taking a huge swig and giving the waitress another once over.

Bastien frowned. "Yes, that was the plan wasn't it?" He asked, eyeing the dark brown blood stains under his fingernails. Anyone one else would assume it to be dirt. "So, would you care to tell me what you were doing in Muggle Loughton last night?"

The amused look on Fenrir's face disappeared. "Some nosy kids were snoopin around. I thought they saw something so I followed em."

Bastien rubbed his temples in annoyance. "Listen, I understand that you have urges, especially during the full moon, but killing muggle children so close to our hideout as a means to fulfill your twisted desires is _not_ something I will tolerate." He narrowed his eyes and his tone became threatening. "I will not put up with insolence."

"But they-"

The dark haired man nearly slammed his fist on the table. Now was not the time to be making mistakes that could get them apprehended. "I don't care if they walked in on you taking a piss, you were not to kill any muggles without my approval."

"I'm tired of waiting around. You're gone all day, where's my fun?"

"Fun? Fenrir, need I remind you what happened the last time you disobeyed my command? I believe I left you to die on the forest floor. I won't let your urges get in the way of fulfilling my goal. I won't hesitate to kill you."

They stared at each other for a moment before he leaned forward. "Can I have a bit of fun with that one then, _Lord_ Aldamar?" He asked, gesturing to the waitress. "To get out the rest of my…urges?"

Bastien held back a nasty remark as he glared at him. While the werewolf _had_ proved useful, he was horrible company. He smelled, he was loud, and his blood lust was hard to manage. Now Bastien didn't mind bloodlust, but when it came to the werewolf, he took it to a whole new level. As soon as he had better, more reliable pawns, he would rid himself of the nuisance, but until then Greyback would have to do. "Fine." He agreed, rising to leave. "But clean up your sodding mess this time."

* * *

 


	24. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo wakes up and remembers what happened between the three of them. His thirst for revenge deepens.

**Tuesday, December 1, 1998**

Theo groaned and slowly opened his eyes, wincing a bit at the bright light coming in through the window. Blinking, he looked around wondering where the hell he even was.

“Ah, good, you’re awake.” Came a pleasant voice to his right. He struggled to look towards the woman. “Had a rather nasty day yesterday.” Madam Pomfrey said as she fussed with his pillows.

“What happened,” he asked, trying to remember what it was that landed him in the infirmary. “Why am I here?”

“You had a seizure.” She hummed. “The cause is unknown, though. We’ve done some tests and they’ve all come back negative.”

“Seizure?”

She nodded. “Have you been in any duels lately? Been hexed by anyone?”

He shook his head. He couldn’t remember dueling anyone, a hex was possible but he highly doubted it. “Not that I recall.” He answered. “How long have I been out?”

“You’ve been out a good fifteen hours. A few of your friends have come and gone checking up on you. The Parkinson girl just left about an hour ago.”

Pansy had come to see him? Well, that was a surprise. “Did she? Hmmm.” He sat up slowly. “When can I leave?”

“I’d like you to stay here at least a few more hours for observation.”

“Right.”

She gave him a quick check-up and left him to his own devices. It was so odd. He could hardly remember the actual attack either, just the pain and falling out of his seat. This whole situation troubled him. He’d never had a seizure before. What could have possibly brought it on? An underlying medical problem?  Had a spell gone awry? Had he cast something and it backfired? Suddenly he heard himself whisper, “intersaepio”. The spell his father had taught him all those months ago. It was a blocking spell used specifically to counter spells like Obliviate.

_“I’m sorry, Theo.” Draco’s voice rang in his ears, then Blaise’s as he calmly said, “Obliviate.”_

It was all coming back to him. He remembered. He’d gone back to his dorm and found out Draco had accepted an offer from the Ministry to become an Auror. Then Blaise had obliviated him so he’d forget their fight and forget that he knew about Granger. He shook in barely contained rage. No wonder he’d seized yesterday. He hadn’t blocked the spell in time. It must have just been able to lock away the memories and he was only able to tap into them, though the process was obviously not a fun one.

  He took a few deep breaths to keep the panic down. He wanted to say he couldn’t believe they’d do that to him, but he could. Especially when he’d so vehemently attacked them and brought up the mudblood. So much for mates. If there was anything that could have solidified the grudge he had against Draco it was this, but he knew it wasn’t the right time to act. He needed to relax. They had no idea he had regained his memories. For once he had the advantage so he needed to remain calm and play it safe. He needed to devise a plan and while he did that, he’d play the part of the oblivious friend. They wouldn’t suspect a thing. He had all the information he needed in order to bring Draco Malfoy to his knees. He’d just have to be patient, after all, he knew revenge was a dish best served cold.

* * *

 

 Hermione woke up feeling refreshed and almost content. The weight she’d been carrying on her shoulders had lifted and for the first time in months, she felt like she could do anything she set her mind to. Perhaps it was because she had finally made a decision, or maybe it was because she now knew where she stood with Draco and with her friends. The uncertainty of the past few weeks had nearly vanished overnight. Harry was a big part of that if she were being honest. She had been all too willing and fully prepared to leave the wizarding world if she needed to. There was no hesitation. She would do what needed to be done in order to protect herself and the child.

Then Harry, as he was want to do, had come in and told her things she wanted to hear, and some things she didn’t, but in the end he had made many good points. She couldn’t ignore the pros of his plan. Living with him would be perfect. She wouldn’t have to worry about getting her own flat for at least a little while. She could get her foot into the workforce without the thought of homelessness hanging over her head. She should have known Harry wouldn’t just let her walk out of the wizarding world without a fight. He was right. She _belonged_ here and she wouldn’t let anyone, especially Lucius freaking Malfoy, stand in her way.

Now she just had to  break the news to Ron. It probably wouldn’t go as well as she hoped. Not that she felt particularly bad about it. Of course, she felt  bad for what she’d _initially_ done to him, but this move wasn’t about him. It was about _her_ and she was done letting things get to her. He would just have to understand and if he didn’t then he didn’t really care about her as much as he insisted that he did. She hoped they could maintain their friendship. Going to the Burrow was a good idea but she wouldn’t be able to do that if she and Ron were still on the outs. Things would just work out better all around if they could at least try to get past this.

After giving herself a quick once over in the mirror, she took a deep breath and left the comforts of her room to face her friend.

* * *

 

 Luna was relieved. As much as she hated what Malfoy and Ron had decided to do, she wouldn’t deny that some of Ron’s ideas were good ones. She would need some sort of support system after the baby was born. Of course, Luna would be by her side, but there were things even she couldn’t do. So when Hermione had spoken with her about Harry’s offer, she had been genuinely grateful. She had figured Harry would step in at some point, it wasn’t in him to let things be if he could help, but she didn’t know if Hermione would be stubborn about it. She hoped not. She’d been uneasy when Hermione had told her the plans she had for leaving. It made sense to the other girl, but Luna knew there were many unforeseeable dangers in that plan. Just because she ran away, didn’t mean that Draco’s father would never find out. Actually, if he did come across the information no one would even know. He could send someone after her in the middle of the night and no one would be there to stop him. She could disappear without a trace and they’d be none the wiser. It made her ill to even think about her alone in the muggle world. Besides, Luna couldn’t imagine what muggle Hermione would even _look_ like, she was a witch through and through. It would be a waste for her to return to the muggle world. She’d told the other girl exactly that. She didn’t want to picture her world with Hermione. Her light was too bright to hide. She would hate herself if she ignored her abilities. She had too much to share, and too much do, and Luna knew she would change things for the better. So after dinner the night before she found Harry and embraced him, thanking him for everything. He’d just stuttered, hugged her back, and said it wasn’t a big deal. He said that, but they both knew that it was.

* * *

 

Ron had trusted Malfoy when he said Hermione would go with their plan. He’d almost guaranteed it. That was Ron’s first mistake. He should have never trusted Malfoy, not about this. He still believed the bastard had strung her along, he’d admitted as much, but he should have known the rest of it was bullshit. His second mistake was underestimating Hermione. After seven years he really should have known better, but he had hoped things could work in his favor. The plan was solid. All she had to do was agree to let him claim responsibility and the inevitable shit storm wouldn’t have to happen.  Of course, she never was one to take the easy way out.

He’d woken up in a decent mood, figuring that Malfoy had shot her down the other night. He felt like things could really work out between them. Sure, it would be hard pretending the baby was his, especially with how much he loathed its father, but he knew he would do anything to fix what was left of their relationship. He had spent so much time trying to hate her that it had just made him more miserable. He wanted to stop being angry. He wanted to fix things. Go back to how it used to be before the war had fucked everything, and everyone, up. He was determined to try. So he’d walked down to breakfast with his  head held high and a small skip in his step.

Then he’d had the rug pulled out from under him.

* * *

 

Harry was not ready for the verbal assault.

“What the hell, Harry?!” Ron practically shouted at him in the hall. “I thought you were done stabbing me in the bloody back?”

He stopped and stared at his friend. “What are you talking about?”

“Hermione said you told her she could stay with you? Why the hell would you say that? You _knew_ I wanted her to stay at the Burrow! So why would you talk her into staying with _you_?!”

Harry sighed. He should have known Ron wouldn’t be thrilled with the idea, but he would just have to deal with it. “What would you have me do, Ron?” He asked, “Let her waltz right out of our lives and into muggle London? Or France, or anywhere else she fancies? Because that’s what she was going to do and we wouldn’t be able to stop her. Would you rather her do _that_?”

The red head shook his head. “Of course not! But that’s not the point!” He huffed. “You should have made her see reason. You should have talked her into staying with me.”

“She wasn’t going to do that. You’ve talked to her. She is determined to do this. We can’t stop her, and we can’t change her mind. I gave her the only option I could think of that would keep her here.”

Ron frowned. “You could have at least tried.” He replied, crossing his arms and staring Harry down. “I know it’s  better than her going back to fucking Malfoy, but I would rather her stay with us. We can keep her safe.”

 “Listen, you can be mad at me all you want but at least she is thinking about it now. She wouldn’t have gone along with your plan anyway. She had already decided to give up being a witch.”

He didn’t miss the hurt expression that flashed across his friend's face. “She didn’t…I didn’t know she’d actually planned on leaving.”

“What did you think she meant, then?”

“I just thought she was considering it. I didn’t think she would go through with it, she would hate leaving the wizarding world. But she would rather leave all of this behind her than be with me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

“Hey, just because she doesn’t want anything to  happen between the two of you right now, doesn’t mean she will never think about it again,” he insisted, “The last few weeks have been hell for all of us, especially for her. Maybe you should look at it from her point of view. Her life is the one that is going to change the most and she needs our support, not pressure. After things calm down and she has had time to think about it, maybe she will change her mind. She told me she would go to the Burrow for a bit so can’t you be happy with that for now?”

“I..I can try. It’s just…I want her back, Harry.” The sad desperation in his voice made his heart clench. “ Everything is so fucked up, and I know a lot of that is my fault,  but I want her back and nothing I do or say can make that happen.”

Harry nodded in silent agreement.

 

 

 


	25. Uncertainty is No Friend of Mine

**Tuesday, December 1, 1998**

Blaise breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Theo enter the Great Hall that night.  He’d been terrified that he’d done something irreversible and even though Draco had told him to blame it on him, he just couldn’t. He’d been the one to perform magic on him and despite their nasty exchange, he considered Theo a friend and he’d hated seeing him upset. He could see both sides of the argument but it had spiraled out of control so quickly he hadn’t been able to talk them down. Then he had said something about Luna and he just lost it. It was probably all of their faults that this happened. They had all acted like right fools that night and there was no use thinking about the should and shouldn’t haves.

 It seemed the other wizard was alright, Pansy had helped him into onto the bench, but he took a seat next to him to make sure.  He’d given Blaise a weird look at first but then thanked him for checking up on him in the infirmary. Apparently Madam Pomfrey had told him about their visits. He told them all that they’d run tests but everything seemed to check out ok. Guilt ate at him as he sat there with his dorm mate. Just because he was alright didn’t mean that what had happened was ok. He didn’t know what or how, but the sleeping spell or memory spell had fucked him up and there was no justifying it. The shittiest thing wasn’t even  that he’d been the reason for the outburst. It was the fact that he couldn’t apologize that had him on edge.

He’d just have to carry that burden on his shoulders and try to move on. Keep an eye on the other boy and hope nothing more serious occurred. Theo was a bit disoriented and off for the remainder of dinner but he didn’t put much thought into it. He’d just made sure he got what was needed and helped Pansy keep him company. Draco had offered his sympathies as well and was sitting on the other side of the table from them, but Blaise knew his mind was elsewhere. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where. His eyes were glued to a certain female in the ragtag group of Potter followers. He wondered how the whole sodding school remained oblivious to their affair. It was a damn miracle the secret had been kept this long, because as far as Blaise could tell, Draco only had eyes for Granger.

**Friday, December 4, 1998**

Draco groaned in annoyance and let his head thump hard against the desktop. His fist clenched around the newest letter he’d received and he was half tempted to owl the bastard back. He was truly beginning to despise the Malfoy patriarch and he hated that the wizard just couldn’t seem to leave the past in the past. He’d been given an opportunity, an undeserved opportunity but one nonetheless, and he was squandering it. He could have just stepped back and let things go, taken his mother on holiday or found some other boring way to bide his time. But no, that wasn’t good enough for Lucius Malfoy. There was a time when his father was of sound mind, but that was before the Dark Lord came back from the dead. He’d watched as the once proud and arrogant aristocrat became a deranged, hollow shell of a man that couldn’t even manage to keep his emotions in check. It was the first time he had ever seen the calm fury turn into a raging unpredictable wildfire. It had scared Draco more than he’d wanted to admit. Not because his father was domineering towards the end, but because he could see himself following him headfirst down the same path of insanity.

Azkaban had brought out all the worst qualities in him and the subsequent repeat imprisonment and release hadn’t seemed to dampen them at all. Maybe he really was insane. Why else would he be back to playing games and planting pawns? Surely a sane man would quit while they were ahead? But then again, he’d never known a time when his father hadn’t had his hand in one cookie jar or another. Maybe he was just too set in his ways that he couldn’t possibly see anything beyond the pureblood supremacy rhetoric and he was too stubborn to admit defeat? Whatever the case, the fact remained, Lucius was involved in yet another dark revolt and he had no plans to release his son from his grasp.

Oh, how he hated him. He hated him with every fiber of his being. He hated his father and he hated Bastien and he hated that he’d been dragged into whatever egotistical plot the two of them had. He had absolutely no interest in being their puppet and even if he did want the same things, he definitely wouldn’t be trying to achieve them in a way that would land his arse in Azkaban. They were daft, yes, but they were also dangerous and Draco wasn’t a fool. He knew where the power lay. He’d seen it up close and personal. Bastien wasn’t the Dark Lord, but he had something that Voldemort had not; foresight. Not the kind that came with a prophecy, but one that came with the knowledge of how politics worked, and how to get people to do what you want them to without them even knowing it was your idea in the first place. He was cunning and he wasn’t blinded by hatred. That made him a formidable and terrifying foe.

Shit.

The door opened and he didn’t have to look to know it was Blaise. He could feel his judging eyes on him before he even said, “Draco.”

“What is it, this time, Blaise?” He sighed, head rising from the desk and finding a resting place in the palm of his hand as he set his elbow on the wooden finish. “Am I not holding your hand enough? Or is it the sulking that is too much? Sorry, I’ll try to buck up.”

His friend rolled his eyes and pointed to the parchment in his hand. “I saw the owl leaving. I thought you may need someone to hide the whiskey bottles.”

Draco was startled at the laugh that came out of this mouth. “Yeah, maybe.” He laid the letter out for Blaise to see. “I figured my father would be angry with me for accepting the Ministries offer, but he wasn’t. In fact, he seems totally fine with the idea.”

Blaise’s eyebrows rose as he looked over the contents. “Well, I’d like to say that it’s a good thing, but I highly doubt your father would happy about this if it didn’t somehow benefit him.”

“Exactly.”

“But what would he gain from you becoming an Auror?”

He was quiet for a moment, thinking. “It may not be about me becoming an Auror at all. It may be the proximity I’d have to those in power within the Ministry. He has no one on the inside anymore. He probably thinks he can use me to get information.”

“That makes sense.” The other boy agreed. “If he has control over you and uses you as his eyes, he can see what has changed and figure out how he can dismantle the chain of authority.”

“That’s where the problem lies. I don’t know what to do about it. There are too many missing pieces. I can’t get a clear picture of what he is thinking or doing or how _Bastien even comes into it_. I’m almost positive he’s behind my father’s release, but why would he choose him? There are a few Death Eaters still on the run that would benefit him more, and would be easier to get to than someone tucked away in Azkaban.”

“Unless he specifically wanted _him_ out so then he could get to you?”

Realization sunk into his gut like a rock. “Yeah. That’s….shit. That’s probably it. He would know I wouldn’t take him seriously. He…he was always telling me he had plans under the Dark Lord. He’d approached me on numerous occasions trying to talk me into giving up on my humanity. I thought he was crazy and tried to stay the hell away from him, but he seemed adamant. When I didn’t see him after the final battle I assumed he’d died. Then all this happens and now…now I have no idea what is going on in his head. What am I supposed to do? I can’t ignore him and I can’t join him outright. I’m fucking stuck.”  He saw a look cross Blaise’s face. He knew that look. “What have you to say about it?”

“Well, you could,” Blaise hesitated, “It would be risky, but you _could_ tell Aldamar that you are thinking about joining him. You wouldn’t be giving him any important information but maybe you can get some from _him_.”

He was afraid he would say that. It was one of the only plausible solutions he’d seen as well. “I’ve thought about that.” He said with a sigh. “And I’ve thought about just turning him in. I would go directly to the Head of the Auror department right now but it’s not like I’m a credible source, and the retaliation, when he found out, wouldn’t be worth it.” His stomach dropped at the thought. “Ignoring him _has_ been working so far but pretty soon he’s going to grow impatient. If I tell him I’m unsure of his offer but that I’m willing to cooperate…..I _could_ lure him into a trap.”

“Could you handle that, though?” He asked incredulously. “Draco, that’s a lot to take on. Auror training, double-crossing death eaters, _and_ the Granger situation? Your plate is already pretty full.”

Of course, he knew that. He’d always known it. That’s why he had put this off for so long. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t give him or father any reason to dig around. If I’m pretending to go along with their little charade, they won’t go looking for my secrets or weaknesses. Not in the beginning at least. I can’t afford for either to find out about Hermione so if I have to pull a Severus then that’s what I’ll do.”

“And to think at the beginning of all of this I’d thought the biggest thing you’d have to worry about was outdoing Potter.”

He shook his head, smirking slightly as he replied, “Yes, well it seems like luck still isn’t on my side.”

“Just…..just don’t jump into things without thinking them through. I can’t….I won’t be there…”

Draco smiled. “Blaise, are you worried about me? Is this some sort of confession?”

“Shut up you bastard.” He huffed kicking the chair away from the desk, causing Draco to lose balance and fall off of it. Blaise laughed as he picked himself up from the floor. “I’m serious, mate. You’ll be alone out there. I mean I suppose you could cuddle up with Longbottom and Potter if you get _too_ lonely.”

“Hah hah. You’re hilarious, Zabini.” He said, smiling and shaking his head.

The good hearted feeling didn’t last, though. The serious expression was back on his face as he sighed. “Just…promise you won’t be stupid.”

“I won’t be irrational.” He promised. “I can’t afford to be.”

* * *

 

It had taken everything inside of Theo not to hex his “friends” as soon as he saw them a few nights before. He’d prepared himself and had strutted into the Great Hall as if nothing was off, but as soon as Blaise and Draco had sat down with him, his resolve almost snapped. He could tell that Blaise felt bad. He always spoke softer and more carefully when he knew he was wrong or when he was feeling guilty. He could almost overlook Blaise’s place in it, but he knew at the end of the day, Blaise was Draco’s. Everything was always Draco’s.

And other than a few sympathetic words and sad looks he’d mostly ignored everyone. Well, to anyone on the outside it would seem that way. But Theo knew who held his attention. Anger bubbled up inside

him as he glanced over quickly at the Gryffindor table.  Fucking Granger. Even if his memory had remained screwy, he would have probably still found out about them. The idiot wasn’t even being subtle. His fists had clenched under the table and Pansy had wrapped her hands around one of them, stopping the inevitable shaking. She’d thought he was still having tremors, but regardless, her touch calmed him. He’d been able to reprise his role as the quiet friend ever since.

They’d remained blissfully unaware and he used it to his advantage. He’d paid closer attention and casted listening charms whenever he thought he could get away without being detected. And so far it had worked. He’d finally stumbled onto something he could really use. Draco had been receiving letters from a couple different people periodically for awhile and he’d been keeping notes. His normal eagle owl was used frequently, but there was a small dark barn owl that he’d seen a couple times, the last time being a week or so ago. Today he’d seen the normal one but when Blaise made a concerned face and began heading down to their dorms, he’d known this was what he was waiting for. He needed to know who Draco was making contact with. If he could do that, he would be that much closer in exacting his revenge.

He'd cast a disillusion charm and listened in to the quiet exchange inside. He hadn’t picked up much at first, just talk of Draco’s father. He remembered hearing the name Aldamar before and he assumed it was a surname, but then he heard another name. Bastien. Bastien Aldamar. He knew that name. It belonged to a Durmstang graduate turned death eater. His father had been insanely jealous of him and it seemed that he had been the Dark Lord’s favorite and apparently Draco was his.

He’d have to rectify that.

* * *

 

**Saturday, December 5, 1998**

Blaise held tightly onto Luna’s hand as they entered the Great Hall. It was still a bit awkward, being the center of attention for a few minutes as they made their way to her table, but somehow that didn’t phase the Ravenclaw girl. It wasn’t like interhouse relationships were uncommon, they most certainly weren’t, but Slytherin’s were known for sticking to their own house.  If they did date outside of their group, it was on a don’t ask, don’t tell basis so he’d expected the glares and quips, coming mostly from the Gryffindors, but he hadn’t anticipated just how many stares their relationship would generate. His own Housemates didn’t seem to mind since, as Theo pointed out, she was also a pureblood. It irked him anyway, hearing the nastier comments. He didn’t care about those aimed at him, he couldn’t care less about what they thought of him, but if one more person called Luna barmy or stupid he was going to hex them. She was neither of those things. Eccentric yes, but not crazy. Obviously, she was intelligent considering she was placed in Ravenclaw so he despised the whispers stating otherwise.

He felt her squeeze his hand and he looked over at her. She was smiling warmly at him. “What?” he asked, unsure as to why she was giving him such a look.

“You can be such an open book sometimes, Blaise.” She said, leaning against him and letting her head rest on his shoulder.

“Am I now?”

She hummed in confirmation. “You don’t have to worry about me. There isn’t anything anyone has said that I haven’t heard before. They just don’t like what they can’t understand.”

He really should have seen that coming. “I suppose you’re right. It doesn’t mean I have to like it, though.”

“No, I suppose not. But it’s them we should feel sorry for. They don’t know what they are missing.”

He smirked and kissed the top of her head. “You’re right. They don’t.”

* * *

 

Hermione smiled as she took in Luna’s happy face.  She had to admit it was a bit strange that the blonde girl had ended up with Zabini of all people. She kicked herself in the arse for not knowing it before this week. It was so obvious. Luna had been the one to give her the message from Draco on her birthday. She’d wondered how but her friend hadn’t said how she’d managed it. It had been Zabini all along. He’d been the one helping and while she knew he was in the know and obviously Draco’s friend she hadn’t even thought Luna would strike up a friendship, and then a relationship with him. But they were both keeping Draco and Hermione’s secrets, so it seemed to just fall into place that way. Hermione didn’t mind in the slightest. Seeing them together, it warmed her heart a bit. She could see the admiration in his eyes when he looked at her, and Luna walked as if she were on clouds, well more than usual. They were a strange pair, but it worked for them.

She’d had to smack Seamus and Dean a couple of times for making rude comments but she knew it was going to take a bit of getting used to. While they had many friends in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, no one in their little group had ever befriended a Slytherin, let alone dated one. She wondered how they would have all reacted had they found out about her and Draco’s relationship. It would probably have been ten times worst. Zabini, while being a pureblooded Slytherin, had never antagonized anyone. He’d remained neutral so many people may  have been uncomfortable with Luna being with him, they weren’t enraged by it. Draco Malfoy was a whole different story. She shuddered at the thought. She would have never been able to do what the two of them were doing. They would have never been able to enter the hall holding hands or sit down next to each other whispering words of comfort and openly expressing their love. It just wouldn’t have worked. She found her eyes wandering over to the Slytherin table. She had done well not looking for him since they’d ended it, but she had only so much self-control.

He was sitting next to Theodore Nott and Gregory Goyle, his eyes downcast and a frown on his face. She wanted to smooth out his furrowed brow and tell him to smile. Circe, she had to stop. She sighed and focused on the conversation in front of her. Luna was telling her and Zabini about the Healer program she was applying for. Her eyes lit up as she spoke, her hands dancing about in front of her animatedly as she explained how she’d talked one of the witches there into trying some of her mother’s herbal remedies. Zabini held on to her every word and toyed absentmindedly with a strand of her hair as she continued her story. It was sweet, almost sickeningly so, and as much as she loved seeing how happy they were together, her heart clenched and a sense of sorrow overwhelmed her for a moment as she realized she would never have anything like that with Malfoy. But then she reminded herself that it was all for the best anyway and gave the couple the warmest smile she could muster.

* * *

 

**Monday, December 7, 1998**

The days seemed to pass slower the closer they got to the Christmas Holidays. It was both a blessing and a curse for Draco. A blessing because he still had time to watch Hermione from afar and a curse because he couldn’t have her. He was doing the right thing. He _knew_ that but it didn’t make it any less painful. He knew he had to do this and if he ever hesitated Blaise was right there to remind him. He hadn’t realized how much he’d needed someone to reassure him until Blaise had clapped him on the shoulder and told him he could do it. He wondered if this was what Potter felt when he sat around with his friends. He’d grown up watching the Golden Trio and had known he’d never have a bond like that with anyone in his house. Everyone was manipulative and out for themselves. He thought he’d never have a true friendship, at least not one that was unconditional,  but he’d been wrong. Blaise had nothing to gain from befriending him. In fact, it could have been the complete opposite depending on who you asked.

He hadn’t even been that close to Zabini until the war, but the last few months had changed that. He didn’t know what had changed, or why, and he certainly didn’t deserve it, but he was grateful. He didn’t even want to imagine what would have happened had he not been there. He had been the voice of reason, the one to drag his drunk arse of the floor and into bed, the one to call Hermione when he’d needed her, and the one to keep his secrets. He was the only one he trusted to keep his secrets, and that was the only reason why he wasn’t crawling in his skin. His time at Hogwarts was coming to an end and he’d need to rely on someone to look out for Hermione while he was gone. Blaise fit that bill and he was sure he could count on Lovegood as well. The girl was attached to Hermione’s hip and when she wasn’t, she was attached to Blaise’s, so he had no qualms leaving everything in their hands. He just hoped to Salazar that they’d never have a reason to need to protect her.

**Ministry of Magic**

Lee Scott stared at the new list of recruits they’d be training in just a few weeks time. There were more names now than there had been a month ago. He was happy about additions but it also brought a change of plans with it. The Minister had informed him that Nathan Dearborn and Brice Lexington would be working with him and his team to get the group prepared quickly and efficiently. He knew it was imperative to get the ball rolling and get well-trained Aurors out onto the field, but Nathan somehow rubbed him the wrong way. He was an amazing Detective, and one of the best trackers they’d had in the Department, but he was distant and cold. Normally that wouldn’t bother him so much, he’d known many an Auror that had been closed off and emotionless, but this man took the prize. It just felt like there was an underlying reason for his distance, almost calculative. He couldn’t quite place the reason why he would be, but he knew he’d have to keep an eye on him. He’d tried hard to just take the Minster at his word, he knew Kingsley Shacklebolt was fond of Dearborn and had been friends with his father, but sometimes those bonds clouded judgment.

He rubbed his eyes until he saw stars behind his closed eyelids. He needed to sleep and figure out a new way to track the monster murdering muggle born families, not sit here in his office speculating about his coworkers. He would have plenty of time for speculations and observations come January.

 

 

 

 

 


	26. I'm Not Pining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut ahead

**Thursday, December 10, 1998**

"Stop, just stop, mate." Blaise groaned into the crook of his elbow.

"Stop what?" Draco asked, not understanding what had his friend so annoyed.

"Your pining, that's what."

"I am _not_ pining." He growled under his breath. Sure he'd been looking at her in class earlier, and maybe he'd sighed a few times at lunch, but who wouldn't?

"Denial isn't a good look on you."

Draco threw a wad of parchment at him. "Oh, sod off." He hissed, "I'm not _pining_. I'm _thinking_."

"About Granger."

He was seriously contemplating drowning Blaise in the tub. "Really, Blaise? This is what you want to spend the afternoon doing?" It wasn't like he could help it. He missed her. What was he supposed to do, ask Blaise to obliviate him? No thanks. He'd like to keep his memories.

He heard his friend sigh. "Just trying to help."

"Well, stop trying to help. I'm dealing with it, alright? Let me just do it in my own time."

"Fine." He said standing up. "But I'm going somewhere else. If I have to watch you finger that fucking coin for one more minute I'm gong to Avada myself."

Draco rolled his eyes but shoved the coin in his pocket. He hadn't even realized he'd been holding it. That wasn't a good sign. What other things had he been doing that he wasn't aware of?

Blaise was right.

He was pining.

* * *

**Friday, December 11, 1998**

She had been sitting quietly in the library going over a few notes when her thoughts were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. "Might I have a word, Granger?"

Hermione stared up at the Slytherin boy for a minute, contemplating her next move. While she'd been in Zabini's company the last couple weeks, it wasn't in a one on one setting, and she certainly hadn't had a conversation with just him. Why he'd want to have one with her confused her a bit. "I suppose." She relented, gesturing to the empty seat across from her.

"Thank you," He said, taking the seat and watching her put her papers away.

"Ok, Zabini." She sighed. "What is it you want? Did Luna send you? Or was it Draco?"

"Are you always this suspicious?"

"Pretty much."

He shook his head, chuckling quietly. "Damn, Granger. You're just as bad as he is."

That's just what she wanted to hear, that she was just like _him_. "If this is about Draco you can save your breath. I already told him I would stay away. Unlike him, I don't plan on going back on my word."

Blaise's eyes widened, looking almost like saucers. "Ouch. He must have really done a number on you. Are you still that furious with him?"

"It's not that I'm angry with him. I'm not….I'm not mad anymore. I'm just," She paused, letting her gaze shift downward.

"Disappointed." He finished for her.

Her eyes shot up and locked with his, and she nodded. "Yes. That's a good word for it."

"Listen, Granger. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I think he is being an idiot and that you two are meant for each other." She frowned but he continued, "Well, he _is_ an idiot, but not about this. What I _am_ going to tell you is that I want what's best for both of you. He's my best mate and you are Luna's. So I guess what I'm saying is, you can depend on me."

Wow. She wasn't sure what she was expecting this to be about, but it sure wasn't that. "Um, thank you, Zabini-"

"Blaise, just call me Blaise." He smirked.

She gave him a smile of her own. "Ok, then, _Blaise_ ," She emphasized, "Thank you. You obviously have both Draco and Luna's trust, so I guess you have mine as well." She narrowed her eyes suddenly. "But if you do anything to hurt Luna, you may find yourself looking up at me from the inside of a jar."

He blinked a few times before he replied, "I..I am just going to assume that that is bad and just jump right onto the part where I promise not to break her heart."

"Good. I'm honestly glad we had this talk." She was starting to like him already.

"Me too, Granger." He winked, moving to get up. "And don't worry, I won't tell Draco about your pining over him."

"What?" She huffed, a bit offended. "I am _not_ pining!"

"Sure. Sure. Let's just pretend we both believe that." He gave her small wave and got up.

"Hey, Blaise." She called, stopping him. "If you insist on me calling you by your given name, then please, call me Hermione."

He smiled warmly. "Alright, then. Bye, Hermione."

She watched him go and felt a sudden pang of sadness. She _did_ miss Draco. But she wasn't _pining_. She didn't pine, she just didn't want to forget him. She let her hand rest on the bump hidden under her robes. Who was she kidding? She'd never forget him.

* * *

**Tuesday, December 15, 1998**

Harry slid into the seat next to Hermione as she flipped through the pages of a book on the Founders. "Hey, got a minute?" He asked nonchalantly.

She looked over at him, her finger keeping her place on the page. "For you, I've got five." She smiled.

"So…Christmas…" He started, giving her his signature, 'please understand what I'm trying to say' look.

"What about it, Harry?"

"Are you…I mean, we were all planning to be at the Burrow for the holidays. I just didn't know….if you know…that had changed?"

She shook her head. "If it's ok with Ron then I can't see why I wouldn't. It would bring about more questions if I didn't." She sighed, "It's not like I have a great Christmas eve planned with my parents." She added a little bitterly.

Harry gave her a sympathetic nudge. "I'm sorry. I know it will be a hit in the gut. I'm here for you, though. If you ever want to talk about them, or anything at all really." He watched her eyes glisten and prepared himself for the hug he knew was coming.

Just like he'd thought, she set the book down, losing her page in the process, and flung her arms around him. "I know I say this a lot, Harry Potter, but I do love you. Truly. Thank you."

He held her close and nodded into her hair. "I love you too, Hermione."

* * *

"Theo, honestly. You've been spending more time watching Draco than you've spent with me." Pansy pouted, throwing one leg over his lap, effectively straddling him.

He shifted slightly in her chair and let his hand slide up her bare leg. "Jealous, love?" He asked with a smirk before pulling her top up over her head.

She shook her head, undoing the tie at his throat. "Jealous of Draco, no. Jealous of your time away from me, yes." She said, letting the tie fall to the floor and working the buttons of his dress shirt. "I've been so worried about you since your seizure, and now we've barely had time to be alone."

He looked up into her dark eyes and sighed. She was definitely high maintenance. Draco wasn't lying about that. "I'm sorry, Panse. There's just some things I need to work out."

"With Draco?" She asked, her head tilting to the side. "Are you two fighting again?"

"No, It's nothing like that. Don't worry your pretty little head about it." He replied, kissing her hard so she wouldn't be able to respond "Now, I'd rather we not talk about Draco. I don't want to be picturing his smug face while I'm fucking you."

"Are _you_ jealous, love?" She laughed, feeding him back the line he'd used on her just moments before.

 _Yes_. He wanted to say _. Yes. I am._ But instead, he chuckled softly before divesting her of the rest of her clothing. "Why would I be jealous of him? _I'm_ the between your legs right now while he's wanking off all alone."

"Must you be so crude?"

He watched as she slipped her hand down onto the zipper of his trousers. "I can't help it." He admitted. "You bring out the worst in me." His eyes closed briefly as he felt her warm hand wrap around his shaft, pumping him slowly.

"Oh?" She whispered lowly, planting kisses up his neck until her lips rested against his ear. "Then I best be careful."

He slipped his hand between their bodies and rubbed her clit gently with his thumb. "I'd rather you not." She groaned and rocked against him. He loved when she was on top. He had the most access to her in that position. There was no place on her body that he couldn't touch. "Merlin, you know how to turn a bloke on."

She smirked and leaned up, kissing him hungrily as he worked a finger inside of her. He found that she was already wet and ready for him. Just like he liked her. He took his time, alternating between fingering her and massaging her clit.

"Stop teasing me."

"Ah, but it's so much fun."

" _Theo."_

"Fine, fine." He relented, letting her lift up off his lap long enough for him to line himself up with her entrance.

She didn't wait before she lowered herself onto him. "Gods, you feel great." She said, moving a bit. "It's been so long."

"It's only been a few days." He grunted as she pulled off of him.

She sank back down, smiling fondly as she said, "Feels like longer."

He silently agreed and sat back, content to watch her use him in whatever way she needed to.

Soon, though, he'd had a change of heart. He needed something harder. Something faster. Something more meaningful. "I need to know something, Pansy."

"What is it?" She asked, sinking down onto him slowly.

He grunted and slid hands over her smooth skin. "Do I have your loyalty?"

She looked at him strangely and stopped moving. "What? Don't be absurd. Of course, you do."

He kept his eyes trained on hers but he started grinding up into her again. "Even if I use information I've obtained to discredit someone we're close to?"

"Isn't it a little too early to be planning on stabbing friends in the back?" She asked, bouncing gracefully on his cock.

"It's never too early," he ground out. "I just want to know if you're with me." She quickened her pace and he lost his thought process for a moment. His mouth latched onto her right nipple and she cried out, causing him to smirk into her breast. Yes. This was perfect. She was perfect. He drug his nails down her back in a way he knew she liked and he was rewarded with another beautiful moan from her lips.

"Again." She begged, riding him hard. "Please."

He complied and added a few bites to her collarbone as he did so. They repeated the process a few times until her chest was littered with lovebites and pieces of his hair were clutched in her fist. This wasn't the roughest they'd ever been, but it was a nice change of pace from the last few weeks.

The sudden thought of his incident brought back his earlier trail of thought. For some reason, he had to know he had her. That she was his. Fully, and completely his. "Tell me you're mine." He hissed, squeezing her arse hard.

"I'm yours." She groaned, leaning forward.

"And are you on my side?" He asked, panting into her neck. "Will you have my back?"

She moaned as he thrust particularly hard, putting intense pressure on her clit. "Mmmmhmmmm"

"Is that a yes?" His hand yanked her hair back, exposing her throat and he biting down on it.

"Yes!" She yelped, digging her fingernails into his shoulders. "I'm on your side!"

He smirked. "Tell me who you belong to."

"I'm yours!" She cried, "I'll always be on yours."

He moved his hands to her hips and held them still as he rammed himself into her. "Good." He hissed, "Good girl."

All other thoughts went out of his head as he lost himself to the sensation of being inside of her. He could only focus on her flushed cheeks, her small breasts bouncing in front of his face, and the sexy sounds she was making as he fucked into her over and over again. Gods, she was beautiful. He was glad he at least had her on his side. He'd need her before this was all over.

When she finally came a few minutes later, he quickly followed her, holding her close until they both came down from their orgasm high. "What was that all about?" She whispered, trying to catch her breath.

"Nothing to worry about right now." He insisted, placing a kiss to her damp temple. "I'll explain everything later. I promise." He slid his arms under her legs and arse. "But first, I need to take proper care of you."

She nodded with a sly grin and let him carry her to the bed for round two.

* * *

 _Fuck Bastien. That pretentious arsehole_ , Draco thought angrily as he read through the latest letter.

Soon he would be home and it seemed the bastard knew that. He'd requested a meeting while Draco was home for the holidays. Brilliant. That's just what he needed. Happy Christmas indeed. He was getting a headache just thinking about what awaited him at the manor, but he knew he'd need to at least return this letter. If he was going to play this game, might as well just jump right into it.

He sat down at his desk and wrote out a quick response. It wouldn't be enough for the man to think Draco was completely on board, but it should be enough to get him off his back for a little while at least.

* * *

Ron strummed a few notes on his guitar as he watched the glowing wood settle in the fireplace. It was a quiet night. Most nights were quiet lately. Things in their friendship circle had calmed down some. His and Hermione's relationship was still tedious and full of tension but it was better than he could have hoped for honestly. Luna's Slytherin boyfriend had even stopped being a source of drama. He was a dick as far as Seamus was concerned but Ron could hardly care about Blaise Zabini. He was too busy putting his pride back together.

Hermione would still be coming home with them over the break, and he wasn't sure how that would end up working out. Harry and Ginny were happy to have her back and seemed to take her being pregnant fairly well. The anger had lessened in the last week or so and he could tell that eventually it would fade away into nothing and excitement would take its place. Because, honestly, how could any of them stay angry with Hermione? Especially after everything they'd been through? It just wasn't in any of them. This break would be a good test drive, to see if things could go back to normal, or as normal as they could.

They had a few small talks regarding what they would tell his family about her pregnancy. He'd still said she could let him claim it but she'd refused once again, declaring that it wouldn't be right and she felt like that would be too cruel to his family. She wasn't wrong. If they told his family it was his baby they would be over the moon just to be heartbroken if the kid came out with blonde fucking hair. So he'd finally seen how bad that idea would be. He'd relented but hadn't come up with any other alternatives.

Hermione suggested that she say that she'd been with a muggle childhood friend when she'd visited her empty house for a weekend at the end of the summer. Harry doubted that plan but he'd offered a similar one. They could tell Ron's family that the baby's father was one of the wizards helping with the reconstruction. They'd had a brief fling and then he'd left and Hermione had no way to contact him. Ron felt sick every time they even talked about it. He wondered if he'd ever get the feeling out of his gut.

Looking at her made him sad, jealous, and a bit angry. He hated that he felt that way but he couldn't help it. The sight of her rounding stomach was just a reminder of what could have been had things been different, had he been different. He couldn't even feel at ease knowing Malfoy was out of the picture because as much as she pretended she was fine, he knew she wasn't. He knew she loved him. He could see it in her eyes when they traveled the Great Hall, in the way she caressed her stomach and the way she would gaze off into nothing and sigh softly. He wasn't an idiot. He knew what it meant.

Harry had said that just because she didn't want a relationship right now, didn't mean she'd never want one. But Harry didn't see what he did. There was no going back for Hermione. For reasons that were completely beyond him, she was in love with that stupid git and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

* * *

**Friday, December 18, 1998**

Hermione looked in the mirror, turning from side to side, scrutinizing her appearance. She hardly wore anything other than her robes and baggy sweatshirts now that she was showing. She was paranoid and didn't want to bring attention to herself before the timing was right. She sighed and stared in the mirror. She felt like it was extremely obvious and that everyone would be able to tell just by looking at her. A tiny flutter pulled low in her abdomen and she paused. Was that? Could it be? She remained still for a moment, waiting for the feeling to come again. When it didn't she pulled her coat on, disappointed. She was twenty weeks, the halfway point, and she hadn't felt a definite movement. Tiny bubbles here and there but she didn't want to jump to conclusions that it was the baby.

"It would be nice if you gave a bigger shove." She said to her stomach, poking it lightly.

Ginny stood in the doorway, eyebrow raised. "What are you doing, Hermione?"

"Nothing." She replied, startled. "Just talking to the baby, I guess."

Ginny smiled. "You look really cute you know."

"For now."

"Stop that pouting right now, Hermione Granger. You are adorable, and you will continue to be adorable, no matter how big you think you are getting."

She rolled her eyes but flashed Ginny a smile. "Thank you, Gin. I appreciate the vote of confidence."

"Anytime." She grinned, holding a hand out to her. "You ready?"

Giving herself one more look over she nodded. The coat hid everything just fine. "Alright. Let's go."

Once on the train they took their seats in one of the compartments. Ginny, Harry, and Luna sat with Hermione while Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean took the one beside it.

"Will we see much of you over the holidays?" Ginny asked Luna as they sat across from one another.

Luna nodded. "I have made plans with Blaise for Christmas Eve," She said with a dreamy smile. "And of course, I'll spend some time with father, but I had planned on seeing Hermione quite a bit."

"Well, then you'll just have to come to Christmas Brunch at the Burrow."

Hermione smiled brightly at Ginny. "Yes, that would be wonderful, Luna. You should come."

"I wouldn't want to be any trouble."

The red head laughed lightly. "Trouble? Are you kidding? With all the family we have running around what's one more person?"

Harry agreed. "Besides, it's not like Molly to turn anyone away. All of our friends are like her children."

There was a sad look in Ginny's eyes as she took Harry's hand in hers. "And I think it will help having people there, you know, with Fred being…." She trailed off.

Hermione's heart clenched. She wasn't the only one experiencing the first Christmas without a loved one. "You alright?"

She hummed. "Yeah, it's just….hard."

"Yeah."

Hermione looked around their small group and realized the sad truth. All of them had lost a significant family member. "War sucks," She grumbled.

Luna gave her a look and looped her arm through hers. "It does, but it's over. Now we can only look forward."

She looked out the window, hoping that what Luna had said was true. Voldemort may have died, but for some reason, the war for her just seemed to be beginning.

* * *

As Hermione stepped onto the platform the tiny flutters from earlier suddenly turned into more of a tumble and she immediately placed her hands on her bump.

"Hermione?" Luna stopped and turned around. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She said quickly, a smile spreading on her face. "I think it's the baby. I thought I'd felt it a few times before but wasn't sure." The movement came again and she couldn't keep the excitement from her voice. "There it is again! I definitely felt the baby move."

Luna clapped her hands in excitement. "That's wonderful, Hermione."

An overwhelming love rushed over her as she realized what it was she was feeling. The baby, her baby, was making itself known. She felt almost like crying. "It's so weird." She whispered instead. "And amazing."

Luna took her hand and Hermione looked up, realizing they were still in public and she probably shouldn't be standing there caressing her stomach and crying like a loon. She pulled herself together and glanced around, wishing immediately that she hadn't.

There seemed to be at least one person that had been paying attention to what she'd been doing a moment ago. The happiness faded as her eyes locked onto the gray eyes of Draco Malfoy.

* * *

He hadn't meant to be staring. Really he hadn't. It was just that it would be the last time he'd see her, at least for a long time. So he'd watched her exit the train and stand to the side as she looked down and placed her hands on her stomach. He watched as the look on her face went from confusion to full-on joy. He watched as Lovegood turned around and looked at her, her hands lingering near Hermione's as she smiled brightly. His stomach sank as he realized the reason for her happiness. She'd probably just felt the baby move.

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep his mind from wandering but it was all for naught, as her eyes flicked up and met his for the briefest moment. He watched as the excitement melted from her features like butter. He turned quickly away, moving to walk alongside Blaise. His best friend took one look at him and sighed. "I told you not to keep watching her, mate."

Draco frowned. "And did you really expect me to listen to you?"

Blaise rolled his eyes dramatically. " _Of course not_. When have you ever listened to me?"

Both of them stopped walking once they got to the apparating point. "I guess this is where we go our separate ways."

"Merlin, Draco," Blaise sniggered, "You act as if you aren't going to see me in again."

He gave him a pointed look. "We both know you'll be seeing a lot of Lovegood over the holiday. I won't hold it against you I'm the furthest thing from your mind."

"Maybe, but I'll make sure to clear one day out of my schedule for you."

"Thank you ever so." He replied with a grin. He took a deep breath and looked over his shoulder one more time, letting his eyes linger on Hermione's form linking arms with the Weaslette's. His chest tightened painfully but he shook the feeling off. "Promise me something, Blaise." He said quietly.

The other boy cocked his head, knowing where his friend's thoughts we. "I'll watch after her, you know I will." His eyes traveled to where Draco's were and he clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Besides, Luna wouldn't let me shirk my duties."

"Yes, well don't let Lovegood do all the work."

"I wouldn't _dream_ of it." He said, moving away from him and towards the girls across the platform.

"Thank you."

"Take care, mate!" Blaise called, "Tell your mum I said hello!"

He didn't respond, but turned around and shrugged his shoulders. It was time to face the music. With one final glance at the girl that stole his heart, he apparated out of sight.


	27. The Rook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written on my phone, so if there are mistakes I apologize and please let me know. Also: See A/N at end

 

* * *

There was an unsettling feeling in his gut when Draco apparated directly into the front hall of his childhood home. There were a few different ways this night could go but he hoped for a favorable outcome. He knew his mother had undoubtedly felt when he'd entered the Manor so he remained where he was, waiting for her to greet him. Not a moment later he saw her gliding out of the parlor and smiling warmly at him. He couldn't help but smile back. Narcissa Malfoy wasn't one to openly express her affections but it seemed she could never keep the warmth from her face when she spoke to her only son.

"Draco, darling." She beamed, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm happy to have you back. It's been so lonesome without you here."

He returned her embrace, taking note of how thin she felt. "Mother," He replied fondly, "It hasn't been all that long since you've seen me."

She let him go and waved a hand in front of her face, dismissively. "A mother can never see too much of her children."

"I suppose that's true." He said, looking around. Lucius was nowhere in sight and that honestly surprised him. He was sure he'd be bombarded as soon as he crossed the blood wards. "Where can I find father?"

Her mouth formed a thin line and a look of concern crossed her face. "He was in his study the last I saw him." He nodded and moved to go around her but she stopped him, grabbing the sleeve of his coat. "Draco, I don't- I don't pretend to know what is going on between you and your father, but please take caution. Don't jump into the fire without thinking things through."

He looked down at her and noticed how tired she looked and wondered what exactly had been going on since his father's return. "You don't have to worry about me. I know what I'm doing." He insisted. It wasn't a lie _exactly_ , he just wanted to ease her mind.

It didn't seem to be working. She shook her head slightly. "I know you believe that, but don't let your guard down."

They looked at each other for a moment, neither speaking as the atmosphere became heavy with tension. He didn't have to look to know his father had joined them.

His appearance had returned to almost to normal, his hair well groomed and tied at the base od his neck, his face clean shaven, and his clothing fitting snugly on his form. The only indication that he had spent any time in prison and with the Dark Lord was the haunted look in his eyes. Those eyes looked calculative at him. "Draco." Just his name spoken in the same cold manner he remembered from his youth. "I see you've decided to grace us with your presence."

"Of course, father." He replied tersely. "I wouldn't _dream_ of leaving mother alone for the holidays. Salazar knows she needs some pleasant company."

His mother cleared her throat softly but his father just looked slightly amused. "I assure you, I've been nothing but pleasant since my return."

Draco quirked his brow. "I sincerely doubt that."

It looked like the older wizard was holding back a nasty comment but he'd caught himself in time. He looked to his wife and Draco watched as a seemingly silent conversation passed between them.

"Darling, it's almost time for my luncheon with Marjorie Greengrass, so I'll see you at dinner." She said suddenly, pressing up on her toes to kiss his cheek and whispering, "Try not to antagonize your father," in his ear.

"I can't make any promises." He muttered as he watched her disappear down the hall.

"Come," His father turned from him and headed up the stairs, gesturing for him follow. "Let's take this to my office. We have much to discuss."

His conversation with Blaise ran through his mind and his pulse quickened with every step. He could do this. He could lie to his father's face, no problem. It wasn't as if he was afraid of the man. He knew his father wasn't a threat to him, Draco was his only heir. So he could do this. He had to.

Soon he was staring at the open door of the study, the light from the window spilling into the hallway and illuminating his father's profile. Another step and he was inside, the door clicking shut behind him. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. It was time to get to work.

* * *

Narcissa pressed her back against the wall as soon as she turned the corner. She had so many conflicting feels and didn't quite know how to process them. On one hand she felt relieved, elated even, that her son was home where she could see him and feel his presence. On the other hand, she was wary and in sensed. The fact that her husband was thrilled with Draco becoming an Auror had disturbed her. She usually knew what her husband plans were, sometimes she even knew what he was thinking without him uttering a word, but ever since she expressed her doubt's about what he wanted to do he'd stopped discussing things with her.

He'd cut her out and normally that wouldn't bother her, she left most of the politics to him, but she was tired of people using her son to achieve their goals. He was barely out of school, a few months shy of nineteen and he'd already seen so much, been through so much, and she was downtrodden. She had wanted a quiet life for him, one where the weight of the war wouldn't follow him. But evidently Circe had other plans.

No. She refused. If she couldn't get through to her husband, she would sure as hell get through to her son. From his letters, she sensed his aggravation with his father and the hesitation of going along with whatever he said. His decision to join the Auror Office spoke volumes of where his head was at the moment. He didn't want the darkness to follow him either. She'd just have to make sure that it remained that way.

* * *

Luna was excited to see how happy Hermione was when she'd felt the baby move. She'd never seen her openly joyful about the pregnancy and it looked good on her. As soon as she'd seen Draco that had changed, though. Luna had led her away and told her it would be fine. Everything was going to be fine. The other girl had calmed down some and they'd joined the rest of their friends.

She hugged Hermione tightly, promising to come to the Burrow as soon as she could and waved goodbye to her band of friends. She knew Blaise was still here, he'd been with Draco a moment before. She turned and as she scanned the crowd a pair of dark hands wrapped around her from behind. "You weren't planning on leaving without telling me goodbye were you?" Their owner said into her ear.

She smiled and turned around in his arms. "And what if had?"

"I assure you, there would be consequences." He grinned mischievously.

"Hmmm." She placed a finger on her chin, tapping it gently. "That doesn't sound like much of a threat to me Mr. Zabini."

A flicker of surprise crossed his face before it turned into one of amusement. "I will have to tuck that one away for later," he muttered, leaning in and kissing her gently. "This will have to do for now."

"Are you heading back to Umbria?" She knew his mother had a country estate in wine country. He seemed to like it well enough and talked about the summers he'd spent there after husband four.

He nodded. "I promised mother I'd take her to the theater, and I suppose I should try to persuade her to hold off on marrying whatever boy toy she's with now." He sighed, rolling his eyes at the absurdness of it all. "I plan on coming back to see you before Christmas, though."

"Good," She kissed him quickly. "My father would very much like to meet you." She'd sent him a few letters telling him of her relationship with Blaise. He had seemed reluctant at first when she'd said he was a Slytherin. He hadn't liked the idea considering she'd been kidnapped by a band of them. It took some convincing on her part but now he had seemed to come to terms with it and wanted to meet this boy that stole his daughter's heart.

Blaise squeezed her hand and sounded a bit nervous. **"** Oh? That sounds ominous."

Luna shoved him playfully. "He isn't frightening at all. Eccentric, but not any more so than me."

"Well, if he's anything like you then I like him already."

Yes, her father would definitely like him. "Will you Owl me?" She asked, stepping away from him. "I'll be spending some time with Hermione so I want to know when you're available."

"Of course. I'll make sure I send something nice as well." He winked before backing away from her. "See you soon."

"Yes," She replied, smiling brightly. "See you soon."

* * *

Hermione took a deep breath, the excitement from feeling her baby move had waned and a sick kind of nervousness took its place as she stood there, a handful of Floo powder in her palm. She chewed her lip as Ron disappeared first, followed quickly by Ginny. Now It was her turn. She looked at her best friend and Harry nodded to her. "I'll be right behind you." And he was, almost knocking her over as they appeared in the Weasleys fireplace.

"Harry! Ron! Girls!" Mrs. Weasley's voice carried through the burrow as she stood in the kitchen doorway. Within moment's the older witch had effectively hugged each of them in turn. Hermione was the last one she wrapped her arms around and she held her breath, knowing Molly would surely be able to tell something was off. When she released her, she knew by the look on her face that her assumptions were correct. Blue eyes trailed downward. "Hermione, child. What-"

"Mum!" Ginny called loudly before her mother could finish her question. "Where's dad?"

Momentarily distracted, she turned from Hermione and addressed her daughter. "Well, he was at the ministry for a bit but should be home any moment now."

By this time Harry had taken her hand and led her quickly into the living room. They all knew they'd have to tell the Weasley's today, but they didn't want to do it the moment they walked through the door. "When are you going to break the news?" he asked in a hushed whisper.

"After dinner." She replied, working the buttons of her coat. I'm going to change and I'll meet you back down here."

"Right."

She hurried up the stairs to the first floor and opened the door to Ginny's room. She set her charmed purse on the bed and shed her clothing, strategically choosing a loose sweater to somewhat hide the bump. Hopefully, they would at least get through the meal without anyone saying anything. Hopefully. She stared at her reflection in Ginny's mirror. "You've got this, Hermione." She told herself before turning around and heading back down the stairs where a sea of red hair met her.

* * *

Dinner was a jumble of excited chatter and the clinking of silverware on plates. No one had noticed her secret yet, or if they had they hadn't said anything. Now George and Ron were discussing plans for the shop while Molly asked how everyone's semester had gone. Arthur looked tired but he joined in on the conversations, asking questions about the rebuild and Harry's upcoming Auror training. He'd had his hands full at the ministry himself, helping Minister Shacklebolt strip the Ministry to the bones and building it back up.

Hermione had made small talk with Ginny and Harry but the longer the rest of them sat in unaware bliss, the more anxious she felt. There was no _right_ time to say this. She should just do it. Rip off the bandage and move on. Arthur was the closest to her so she addressed him first. "Mr. Weasley?"

"Yes, what is it dear?" he asked, halting the conversation he'd been having with Harry. His sudden silence must have alerted the rest of the table because they all stopped what they were doing and looked at her. She felt her face grow hot and she knew she was most likely blushing madly, but she pressed on, looking at Molly as she did so. "There's something I really need to tell you-"

"Well, I'm guessing that's not a pumpkin you got hiding under there." The woman said, pointing under the table and giving her a small smile. Her eyes traveled to Ron for a second and then focused back on Hermione. "A Weasley is it?"

A pang of regret filled her chest. "No," She admitted, rubbing her stomach nervously. "It isn't, actually."

Everyone was silent for a moment, letting the statement settle in. George hadn't even made a comment, which she was sure he would. Most of their faces were blank as she looked around. Hermione expected the Weasley's to be disappointed or even angry, but her eyes met Arthur's, he just smiled and nodded to her. "Well, of course, it is. Any child of yours is a child of ours. Since when does blood matter?" He asked, standing and giving her a hug. "It never has mattered to us, Hermione. Congratulations."

Molly was still quiet at this point and Ron shuffled to face her. "Mum? Mum, you gonna say something?" The glazed look in her eyes indicated that she had no such plan.

That pain in Hermione's chest was back as she took in her form. "Mrs. Weasley?" She called hesitantly. "I'm sorry. I…I know you all thought that Ron and I….well….things changed and…I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry."

The Weasley matriarch suddenly snapped back to attention and smiled sadly. "It's alright dear. Of course, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed that I'm not going to be a grandmother yet, but Arthur's right. We love you no matter what, Hermione. You and your little one."

Her eyes burned as they filled with tears of relief. She knew she didn't deserve their unwavering loyalty but she was so grateful for it. They were now the only parental figures she had and she was happy that she hadn't lost them.

"So who's the lucky bloke?" George asked from the chair farthest from her.

"George!" His mother scolded, but Hermione just smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her sleeve.

"No, no. It's fine. I actually don't know him that well." She replied just like they'd rehearsed on the train. "He was only there for the rebuild, and during a celebration party things kind of got out of hand. I know how awful that sounds, but emotions were high and I had a lapse in judgment. It was only for a night so I didn't think much of it and he left before the term started. I have no idea where he is, or how to even contact him. He could be a drifter for all I know." Ron snorted and she cut her eyes at him as Harry elbowed him in the stomach.

Molly's eyes widened almost comically. "You poor thing! And after all the business with your father? It must have been so hard for you these last few months without the baby's father around."

She grimaced at the mention f her father. "Yes, but I have a lot of support," She inclined her head towards the small trio beside her. "I'm not too worried about the father."

"And you shouldn't have anything to worry about dear." She assured her. "When are you due? Where will you be staying?"

"Well, I'm due the twenty-eighth of April if everything goes well. As for where I'm going to stay, Harry has insisted I stay with him after the baby is born."

"Won't you need assistance? I can't imagine Harry would be much help."

Harry coughed. "I'm not incapable of-"

She dismissed him quickly. "You'll be an Auror by then. You won't be able to even help yourself for awhile." She looked to her husband and he nodded. "You should stay with us for a bit. How would you feel about that?"

"I-yes I was actually going to ask about it. It wouldn't be for long. Just a few weeks."

Arthur smiled. "You can stay as long as you like, dear. You are always welcome here."

She felt the tears coming and she let them fall. "Thank you."

"Oh, there's no need to cry. Everything will be alright." Molly promised, patting her back.

"I know..I know. It's just…I'm so grateful to all of you."

Goerge spoke before anyone else had a chance. "It's what family's for, Hermione. We're there for each other, always."

She nodded in agreement, saying, "Thank you." Before everyone went back to their meal. She was sure it wouldn't be the last time it was discussed before they returned to Hogwarts but for now, it seemed that the conversation had moved on.

"That went better than I thought," Ginny whispered to her.

"Yes." She hummed and looked over to see Ron staring at her. She knew this was hard for him, sitting here in his home with her knowing most of it was a ruse. She'd have to talk to him about it later. Until then she'd just enjoy the rest of her dinner and soak up the happy atmosphere.

* * *

Lucius sat behind his desk staring impatiently at his son who sat across from him. It had been awhile since he'd seen him, but there was something different about him. Something off. Draco's face betrayed no emotion as the silence continued, leaving his father baffled. His son hadn't always been the best at keeping his face blank but he was sure doing a hell of a job at the moment. He could tell from what few letters he'd returned that he was angry with him. He'd even gone so far as to say that he'd wished he'd stayed in prison. That one stung a bit, but he was willing to look past it, he was a forgiving man after all. Draco just didn't know what was best for him. He'd understand soon. He just had to get over this temper tantrum or whatever this was. "I'm told there are times in a wizards life when he becomes rebellious against his parents. I had thought we'd skipped that phase with you." He said eventually, making the first attempt at conversation. "Apparently I was mistaken."

The boy just blinked a few times before responding. "Rebellious? Hmmm. You _would_ see it that way. I would see it as me breaking away from your path and pursuing a better life by putting all the nonsense behind me. Going against the grain, if you will." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose you're right, though. By definition, it would fall under that category." He smirked. "I just never saw myself as much of a rebel."

He wanted to smack the smarmy look off of his face. He wasn't used to this. In letters, yes. Not face to face. What had he missed in the last seven months? "Now is not the time for games, Draco."

"Isn't it? I thought that was what this whole thing was," He said gesturing to the whole room with his arms. "A huge game you're playing. Tell me, am I just a pawn on your board, easily dispensable and blind?"

Lucius frowned. "If anything you'd be a rook. At least at this point."

This seemed to surprise him. "You need me in the Ministry don't you? Whatever it is you're planning you need information."

He knew he'd catch on. "Of course. Why do you think I'd allow you to join the _Auror Office_?" He spit it out as if it was acid on his tongue. It might as well be. He hated thinking about his son becoming the thing that chased him down, but it was what they needed to be able to pull this off.

" _Allowed_ me?" He asked, a dark look crossing his face. It was one he'd never seen before. Interesting. "I think you were locked up too long, father. It seems you've lost touch with reality."

"You may think you are independent, Draco, that you can venture off and do what you want. But no matter what you do or where you go, you can't escape your name."

"I can certainly try." He spat, rising from his seat. "I refuse to be your spy. Go ahead and try to persuade me. Try to change my mind. Try to get me to see it is worth a stint in Azkaban, but if I can't see a life on the other side then the answer will still be the same, Malfoy name be damned."

Salazar, what was happening to his son? Why had he turned his back on him? He'd done nothing but give him the best. He was the best. He deserved to sit at the top. Why couldn't he see that? "Son, there is so much more to this that you think you see. There is much to be gained from this. You'll understand soon."

He shook his head. "Well, until then," He nodded to the door and turned his back to him. "I'll see myself out."

He watched as he disappeared out the door, letting it slam behind him. "Damn." It was going to be more difficult to get him to cooperate than he'd originally expected. Something was definitely off. Oh well. He had plenty of time to figure it out. There was no rush, no definite timeline for the end goal to be met. If his son wanted to play games, that's what he'd do.

* * *

Ron leaned against the doorframe and watched as Hermione and Ginny talked animatedly with George on the couch. Hermione looked better than she had in weeks and she was smiling brightly and laughing at something his brother was saying. It had been awhile since he'd seen her like this, cheeks flushed and a healthy glow to her skin.

"She's glad to be here, you know," Harry said from behind him.

He turned his head to look at his best friend. "Yeah, thanks to you."

Harry shook his head. "Does it really matter who talked her into it? She's with us now." He stepped up beside him, watching the girls for a moment. "It almost feels like old times doesn't it?" He commented.

Ron disagreed. Maybe they were all together and things weren't as tense, but it certainly didn't feel like it used to. He doubted it ever would, especially for him. "No, Harry. Not really."

The other boy just cleaned his glasses with his shirt and sighed. "Well, she's as close to the old Hermione as we're going to get right now. And I'm not just talking about," he looked around and whispered, " _Malfoy, either_." Ron scowled but Harry pushed on. "She's smiling right now. She feels safe and relieved, but soon it's going to hit her that she'll never open another present from her mum and dad. They'll never put up another tree, wrap another gift, or sing another carol. This will be the first year they don't stay up late, passing out Christmas dinner to the homeless shelter across town." Ron felt ill and wanted him to stop. It just brought up the painful reminder that it would be the first real Christmas without Fred. He turned back to Hermione and knew that Harry was right. "Take a good look, Ron, because this may be the happiest we'll see her for a long time."

"I hate this." He said because it was true. He hated everything about the situation.

"Me too," Harry agreed, "but hopefully things will get easier. We just have to be there for her." Ron didn't miss the slightly condescending look he was giving him. "And we _will_ be there for her."

"I get it, Harry. You don't have to spell it out for me." He grumbled. "I don't have any interest in making it worse for her."

"I'm sorry, I know you don't, and I know this whole thing has to be awful for you."

"It is." He admitted, "It's _torturous_ , but not enough for me to want her gone. I'm hurt, yeah, but it could be worse. I'm trying to be ok with it. I can't picture my life without Hermione, without either of you. So I'll deal with it. It will be fine."

They settled into a comfortable silence as they watched his family interact with one another. Harry cleared his throat. "Do you think your mum is ok?"

Ron knew what he was referring to. He'd seen the sad look on her face when she was told the baby wasn't his. He sighed deeply, "Honestly, no. I think her feelings are a bit hurt. You know she always viewed Mione as a daughter. She was probably hoping we would get together and hearing that was disappointing."

"She was really worried about what your mum would say."

"If she was that worried she should have just told them it was mine," he huffed in annoyance. It would have been fine. He could have- No. He needed to stop that trail of thought. It would get him nowhere. "Sorry, I know it was the right thing to do. It would have crushed mum to find out we lied."

"We'll sort it out, Ron." Harry patted him on the shoulder. "We've got time."

"I certainly hope so, Harry." He looked back and saw that Hermione had noticed them standing there. She was smiling and motioning for them to join her. Ron sighed. "I certainly hope so."

* * *

**Monday, December 21, 1998**

Pepper-up potion? Check. Wand? Check. Disillusion charm? Check. Lifeless body of yet another muggle associated with the wizarding world? Double check. Literally.

Lee crouched down between the two victims, inspecting bodies for traces of spells and trying to determine the cause of death. At least these murders weren't as violent and bloody as the previous ones. Victim one had a slit throat, but victim two had signs of dark curses littering his body and that was the only reason why he was here. The department had almost passed on this, but he knew no one but a wizard or witch could have made those kinds of injuries. Nathan didn't think these murders were related to any of the others, but Lee had a feeling in his gut that they were.

He understood why Dearborn would conclude that they were dealing with a different perp, considering the vastly different methods in which they were killed, but his instincts were telling him that it was the same killer. Maybe he'd just decided to leave less of a mess. He stopped short. Or maybe someone had told them to clean up their act? He touched the angry red lines spidering across victim two's chest. This was the first indication they'd had of wand use. All the previous attacks had been purely physical and most likely the work of a werewolf or someone who was excessively violent and got off on torture and gore. So maybe Nathan was right? No, There was more to this, they had to be missing something important. "Brice," He called to the young man standing in the corner. "Make sure you get plenty of photos."

The wizard nodded. "Yes, sir."

Lee looked back down at the bodies and sighed. Things were definitely getting a little more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I know I said this would be the last chapter but it didn't work out that way. I didn't want to make you all wait another week for an update so I split in half. I think you'll all forgive me for that. ;)
> 
> Hope you liked the update though, Let me know with a review. :D


	28. The Necklace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holdiays

* * *

**Monday, December 21, 1998**

Theo was not all that excited to be home. Why would he be? Katherine Nott hadn't even greeted her son upon his arrival. When they had met later in the evening she had only spoken to him of his father and how much he favored him; almost like he was sitting right there in front of her. Tobias was the only thing on her mind. So why would Theo want to be there? Why would he want to be a walking reminder that his father was gone? Why would he want to eat breakfast alone in the cold dining room? Why would he enjoy listening to his mother cry quietly to herself as she drank down a bottle of Elf-made wine every night? Why would he want to lounge around in the dark estate taking note of which pieces of antique furniture were missing, undoubtedly sold to help pay restitution for the war? Why would he want to witness his mother shuffling around in her nightgown at three in the afternoon because she is so lost without her husband? The answer?

He wouldn't.

So in conclusion, he found himself in Pansy's bed most nights, trying to fuck away the growing anxiety that came with the uncertainty of the future. He had no idea where his father was and didn't know if he'd even see him again. He didn't know whether his mother's mental faculties would worsen or not, and he feared the day he might have to make that call to St. Mungo's. Then there was the business with Draco. He didn't have a definite plan of action regarding how to get in touch with Bastien Aldamar, and even if he was successful and able to make contact, what he would do then?

He could possibly get to him through Lucius Malfoy. He was positive that the wizard was involved and most likely the one orchestrating the meetings between Draco and Aldamar. He could persuade him to let him join. Maybe. He may have to snoop around Nocturne Alley and ask some questions. While he loathed the residents there, whiling their days away in their own filth and drink, he knew he'd have to get his hands dirty. The outcome would be well worth the momentary discomfort of the slums. He was determined and he'd do just about anything to ensure a meeting with the wizard.

A kiss to his shoulder shook him out of his plotting. "What's wrong, Theo," asked Pansy. "If you continue frowning like that I may assume you find me boring."

He pushed up on his elbows and mustered a smile. "You never bore me, Panse." He reassured her, placing a kiss on her lips. "I just have a lot on my mind."

She sat up, bringing the sheets around her. "I know you're worried about your family, but I'm sure it will turn out all right. My father has the most well-hidden safe houses and soon it will be safe enough to send for us."

"I'm not worried about my father. He's a big boy, I'm sure he is quite capable of taking care of himself."

"The what has you so worked up? Your mother?"

He shook his head. "Though, she is in a somewhat miserable state."

"Then?" she prodded.

He hadn't told her a thing about Draco or his plans, but may e now was the time to change that.

"Were you aware that Draco hadn't planned to return after the holiday?"

"Yes," she said slowly. "Everyone knows that. I'm sure it has to do with his father being released."

"It has nothing to do with his father," Theo smiled, watching the confusion cross her face. "He isn't returning because he's decided to become an Auror."

Absolute horror. That was the look she was giving him. Her eyes widened and her lower lip seemed to tremble as the information sunk in. "He-" She swallowed, "He's training to be an Auror? But, that means he'd probably be looking for death eaters. He'd be hunting our fathers." The haunted look in her eyes as she spoke made him move behind her and wrap her in his arms. He knew she'd be upset, but she'd have found out eventually. "He knows so much about them, Theo. He knows…Oh, gods! He will find them. If anyone could figure out where father is hidden it would be him."

He couldn't see her face but he knew she was crying. He knew the feeling. He'd experienced that betrayal. "That is what plagues my mind, Pansy. He doesn't even care that he may be the one signing their death certificates. He is the reason why I can't sleep. He is the reason for my anger. I have to do something."

"What will you do?" it was a whisper but he still heard it clearly.

"I don't know yet, but he won't get away with it." He promised, hugging her closer. "I won't let him."

* * *

There was one thing that Lucius Malfoy was certain of; his son was just as stubborn as he'd been in his youth. More so, even. He would have never dared to stand up to Abraxas the way Draco was standing up to him now. So obviously the stubbornness was accompanied by pig-headedness; an irritating combination. Before the war, he would have done just about anything his father said without question. Now he was angry, snarky, and defiant. He would ignore Lucius completely during meal hours and when he'd request his presence in his study to discuss important matters he would deny him. And while he was cold and near hostile with him, he was all smiles and witty comments with his mother. This normally wouldn't anger him, they had always been close, but he found himself biting his tongue most of the day to stop himself from saying something he regretted later.

Perhaps it was because he'd always had plans for Draco. Even before the business with The Dark Lord, and now with Aldamar. He'd wanted him to rise to a place of power. He'd done so much to ensure he would be in a position to obtain it. He'd played games, manipulated people, killed people to get what he'd wanted and sure things fell through but he'd sacrificed so much for him and this was how he repaid him? With deaf ears and cold eyes? No. It wasn't going to be for naught. He'd get him to see reason. He would do whatever he had to. He needed him at his side. He needed him because, without him, Bastien would no longer be an ally and he'd be back at square one. He couldn't let that happen.

He heard the sound of footsteps and laughter as he entered the front hall. Narcissa had her arm looped through their son's and he was speaking animatedly about the Zabini boy and his new girlfriend as they entered the manor from the garden. His wife caught his eyes and she halted her steps. "Good morning, dear." She greeted him with a tight smile. "If I had known you were finished with your work I'd have asked you to join us for tea."

He narrowed his eyes. She would have done no such thing. "Perhaps next time." Draco snorted and he gave him a leveled look. "Is there something that amuses you, Draco?"

He refused to revert his eyes when he replied, "Only everything about you right now, father."

"Draco!" Narcissa hissed in disapproval. "Don't be disrespectful."

"Yes, it would do you well to listen to your mother." Lucius agreed. "My patience for your attitude is hanging by a thread."

A haughty laugh escaped his lips. "Wouldn't want that to snap would we?"

Before he could respond to the challenge his wife stepped between them. "Can I just have one day that is not ruined by whatever games the two of you are playing?"

He was still looking angrily at his father but he spoke softly as he replied, "Sorry. Mother. I'll play nice."

Where had he gained this courage? Just months ago he'd have backed down immediately and stared at the floor or his mother. He wasn't good with confrontations. Was this even his son anymore? Was this a stranger? Should he check for poly juice potion? Imperius? This was getting out of hand and the only thing he truly knew was that he had never felt such a strong desire for submission. "You're eighteen years too soon to be squaring off against me, son. I'd rethink your strategy."

"Duly noted," He smirked, "Sir."

* * *

Narcissa didn't know how Wizarding War III started in her home, but she was growing weary of the passive aggressive fighting that was taking place on a daily basis. While a part of her was grateful that her son was standing up for himself, the other was worried that it would just spur on her husband's anger.

She just hoped Draco knew what he was doing.

* * *

It was quiet in the manor after darkness fell and he found that the silence did him no favors. Paranoia plagued him. The frequent nightmares and words of his father ran on a continuous loop in his Draco's head. They hadn't had a real discussion since his return but there had been a few arguments and at least two battles of wits, but he hadn't trusted himself to talk calmly with him. Every time he thought about his mission to infiltrate whatever shit they were trying to accomplish, he'd get angry. And with that anger came and a contemptuous attitude. He just couldn't face it now. But it did surprise him. He'd thought he would have crumbled and lost all his resolve the moment he saw his father, but he hadn't. He'd stood straight and spoke his mind. Not that that was always the best idea. He'd said plenty of stupid things and things that would just piss the man off more than he already was. Draco could tell his father was tired of his games and his lack of interest in him. If he kept pushing, he was afraid something in his father would truly snap. He had to get his emotions in check before he gave Lucius reasons to go looking for his son's weaknesses.

That was one thing he couldn't let happen. He knew it was ridiculous, he had nothing to truly worry about at the moment, but he couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness that came with thoughts of her, of _them_. Logically he knew she was safe where she was. Harry bloody Potter was at her side and she was undoubtedly surrounded by the Weasley brood. She would have to jump through hoops to get anywhere close to danger right now, but the fear came with the knowledge that in a few weeks' time, she would no longer have the Chosen One behind her and her secret would be out. She couldn't hide anymore and even though people may not know the extent of her predicament, he knew there were those who would surely exploit it. Blaise could only do so much without raising questions.

There had to be something he could do. Some assurance that she'd be fine. Something that could keep her safe, or at the very least, something that could warn him if she were ever in danger. Was there even a way to accomplish that?

He quickly thought back on his studies, mentally making a list of any potions or spells that could be combined or tweaked to fit his purpose. A few stood out to him and he hurried to the large library near his father's study, gathering a couple of books before disappearing into his room. He had a long night or two ahead of him.

* * *

**Tuesday, December 22, 1998**

Draco felt a bit like a thief, sneaking around his mother's bedroom while she was out with Daphne's mother, but he knew what he wanted and he knew she wouldn't miss it. When he found what he was looking for he let out a sigh of relief. He palmed the pendant and inspected the magicked emerald at its core. It would suit his needs perfectly. It was one piece that his mother had kept in her jewelry box for as long as he could remember. She had never worn it, though, so he assumed it wouldn't be missed. He pocketed the necklace and stood at his mother's old vanity for a moment, reminiscing on the nights he'd spent watching her when she'd be getting ready for galas and ministry parties. Of course, that was before his father had gotten ahold of him. Wizards did _not_ sit at their mother's feet telling stories while they tried on jewelry and watched them get dolled up. But it had been something special between him and his mother. She was always so….regal, but he knew she didn't wake up that way. He'd like seeing the real her putting her persona in place. Sometimes he felt like those moments were the best he'd had before Hogwarts. When the weight of his father's expectations hadn't yet begun to smother him. Back when there was a happy glow to his mother's face and the manor was filled with light.

A frown marred his features and he made his exit, not wanting to feel the ache of longing for what could never be again. It wasn't time to dwell on these things and he was so close to finishing his experiment. The sooner he did, the sooner he'd be able to have some physical assurance that she was well. Perhaps he'd be able to sleep soundly. If he could pull it off, that was.

"So, what exactly am I witnessing here, mate?" Blaise asked as he walked around the table Draco had made into a workstation. There were spell books open to random pages, notes scribbled on parchment where some of the words were scratched out, and what looked like a piece of women's jewelry. Draco looked like he'd been up all night and had one too many pepper up potions. All in all, it was an odd sight.

Draco turned to him. "It's a new spell I'm working on."

"A spell?" He frowned. "What kind of spell?"

"It's a bit complicated. It's a cross between a protean charm and a protection spell. It's similar to the protection spell, in that the object enchanted will react to danger."

His gaze drifted to the necklace. "Enchanting that then?" The wizard in question nodded, his fingers flipping through the book in his hand. "I'm going to assume it's a gift for Granger because I highly doubt you've had the time to procure yourself a new girlfriend."

"What, your mother forgot to tell you about our secret love affair?" he smirked.

"Funny." When Draco just chuckled and rolled his eyes Blaise continued, "What will it do?"

"If I get it right, then as long as she's wearing it and I'm wearing this," he said, pointing to the ring on the ring finger of his right hand, "It should warn me if she is in danger. And I suppose it would warn her if I was in danger as well, but she wouldn't know to think of that."

"Clever. But do you honestly believe she'd wear it? You're not exactly her favorite person right now."

A flash of hurt crossed his face but he quickly schooled his features. "I know that. That's why she won't get it from me." He looked at Blaise pointedly.

"Oh, no. I said I'd keep an eye on her, not be your bloody errand boy."

"Come on, Blaise. This is important."

"What, don't trust the dramatic duo to keep her safe?"

The blond sighed. "I trust that they won't hurt her, but this is just some insurance. I can't place _all_ my faith in those two dolts."

"Alright, I get it. I'll make sure to send the finished product with Luna on Christmas Eve."

"Thank you," Draco replied sincerely.

He blanched. "You've _got_ to stop thanking me, mate. It is starting to creep me the hell out "

A loud laugh erupted between them. "Sorry, I promise to refrain from showing my gratitude from now on."

"That's all I'm asking." Said Blaise with a smile. "I suppose I'll let you get to it then." He gestured to the messy table.

Draco nodded. "I'll owl you later tonight. We can go out for a drink if you want."

"Sure, sure. As long as you don't get smashed and go all wax poetic about Granger's bloody eyes again."

"Oh, bugger off. I've never been wax poetic in my life." He huffed, but there was a knowing look on his face as Blaise stepped into the fireplace, a handful of Floo powder in his hand.

He said, "Lovegood residence." and disappeared from the manor, leaving Draco to his task.

* * *

Hermione was surprisingly having a good time at the burrow. Luna had come over the day before and Harry had taken them all to see a movie in Muggle London. Ron had enjoyed himself the most she'd guess, seeing as how he'd eaten two big bags of popcorn and couldn't take his eyes from the screen. Everything had felt so normal, so carefree that she could have forgotten about the elephant in the room. _Sorry, darling, that was rude._ She thought, tapping on her stomach with a finger. But it was true. Besides the questions about how she was feeling and if she'd thought of any names, none of those already in the know had mentioned the father or spoken of the baby.

Maybe things would be as easy when they returned to Hogwarts.

Ha! Doubtful, but she could dream.

There was no reason to worry about it now, though. She wanted to enjoy the rest of her holiday and she wouldn't be able to do that if she kept thinking about things that were out of her control. She knew they had to figure out a way to get the news out without it seeming like she'd had something to hide, but it could wait. She had time. After Christmas, she would figure it out.

* * *

**Wednesday, December 23, 1998**

"Blaise!" Draco called his name excitedly. "Get up! It's finished."

Blaise sat up from the couch he'd been dosing on and rubbed his eyes. "How do you know if it will work?" He asked.

"We test it." Draco walked over to him and dropped the necklace into his hand. There was a sudden warmth that radiated from it but after a moment it disappeared.

"Ok.."He said warily, raising a questioning brow at his friend.

"Just keep a hold of it." He told him a second before he cut a thin line along his arm. Blaise watched the blood drop from Draco's arm and onto the carpet. "What the fu-" He paused mid exclamation when he noticed the warm sensation in his palm again, but this time there was a slight hum of magic that accompanied it.

"Did it work?" The blond asked with a hopeful tone.

"Yeah, yeah. I think it did." Blaise told him. "But let's be sure." He repeated the experiment with a cut to his hand. When it was done he looked up at his friend expectantly. "Well?"

Draco just smiled brightly, looking almost like the little first year he'd met all those years ago. "It worked. Blaise. It worked."

He stood and patted his friend on the back. "Congrats, mate. You created a new magical object."

He nodded and spun on his heels, crossing his bedroom quickly and retrieving something from his desk drawer. When he turned around Blaise could see the small square box, done up with a bow. "Here." He said giving it to Blaise. "Make sure she gets it."

He put it in the box and closed the lid. "I will."

Luna stared at the necklace dangling from Blaise's finger. It was very pretty and reminded her of a quiet winter. "What is it?" She asked before he dropped it into the palm of her hand.

"A gift from our prickly prince of snark to our precious princess of sass." He replied with a small chuckle.

"I feel like this isn't just merely a gift for Hermione," She told him, inspecting the object. It seemed to be buzzing with magic. She stared up at her boyfriend, slightly suspicious. "What kind of spell did he use?"

"Yikes, remind me never to underestimate the power of your observations." His tone was light and he grinned happily at her. "You're right. It isn't an ordinary gift. He has put a protection spell on it."

She nodded, understanding completely. "I don't blame him for his paranoia. Trouble seems to follow those two everywhere."

Blaise agreed and sat down beside her, resting a hand on her leg. "It's for that reason that you and I must stay vigilant. Draco is on his own now but Granger, we can keep an eye on her."

"I suspect she may feel like she's a strange part of an exhibit if we keep too many eyes on her. I don't want her to feel like that."

"She'll be grateful for it eventually." He muttered darkly.

She looked back at the beautiful necklace and sighed. "I hope you're right."

* * *

**Thursday, December 24, 1998, Christmas Eve**

Hermione stood next to the Christmas Tree in Luna's living room taking in the beautiful mural on the wall behind it. The whole room was warm and the atmosphere was inviting, so much different from the last time she'd been here. "I love your home." She said sincerely as the other girl brought in a tray of cocoa from the kitchen. "The painting is beautiful."

"Thank you. My mother did it."

A sudden pain gripped her chest and she sat down on the couch next to Luna. "Does it get better?" She whispered.

Luna cocked her head and studied her quietly for a moment. "I miss my mother every day." She answered eventually. "She was my best friend and I looked up to her. When she died a little piece of myself probably died with her, but the pain dulls. It will always be there under the surface….but it does get better, yes."

Hermione nodded and took a sip of the hot beverage. "Thank you for letting me spend Christmas Eve here. I don't know if I would be able to handle all the chaos at the burrow right now."

"You don't have to explain. I understand." She smiled. "And don't worry. They all understand too."

"I hope you're right. I feel like I'm abandoning them."

"This Christmas will be a hard for everyone."

She sighed and leaned back into the cushions. "I suppose that's true."

They spent the next few hours reminiscing about their mothers' with Xenophilius and when he retired to the library they spoke candidly about Luna's relationship with Blaise. The more she talked about him, the more Hermione liked him.

"He'll be on his way soon."

"Oh, I should go then. I'm sure he will want some _alone_ time." She winked and Luna perked up at the comment.

"I'm quite positive it is me that wants the alone time." The look on her face was serious and Hermione hid her smile behind her hand. "Oh, I almost forgot!"

"What did-?"

"There's something for you." She replied with a smile and plucked a package from beneath the tree.

Hermione stared at the small box in Luna's outstretched hand. "What's this?" She questioned warily.

The other girl just smiled wider. "A gift, of course."

"Yes, I can see that." She reached out and took it, turning it around and looking for a tag. When she found none she asked, "Who is it from?"

"Just open it and see."

She hesitantly pulled on the silver ribbon that was wrapped elegantly around the white box. She raised the lid and her breath caught on the intake. There, resting on top of a maroon colored handkerchief, was an oval shaped pendant made of white gold with an emerald stone in the center. Upon closer inspection, she could see the image of a tree inside of the stone. It had no leaves but it swayed gently back and forth as if moved by a breeze. The first thought that crossed her mind was that it was exquisitely beautiful. The second was that she knew exactly who the gift was from. She stared at the deep green gem and whispered, "Draco." Luna remained silent as she inspected the gift. "It has to be from him. Why would he send me something like this?"

"Well, it _is_ Christmas after all." She sighed, put it back in the box, and set it on the table. Luna looked on in confusion. "Aren't you going to wear it?"

She shook her head. "I'm not falling for it, Luna. Malfoy made it perfectly clear how he felt and what we are to each other. Why would I wear it?"

"Because it's just a necklace." She said and gave Hermione a look she couldn't quite place.

"It's more than that. It's a statement. If I wear it then it just means I'm still under his spell. That I still need him." She insisted and then cradled her stomach with her hands. "And I've got all I need from him right here."

Luna kept her eyes trained on her. If she was going to say anything, it was cut off by a flash of light in the fireplace. Blaise stepped out of it and readjusted his shirt as he took a step into the room. When he looked up he halted his movement, looking between Hermione and Luna curiously. "Should I?" He gestured back to the fireplace.

"No!" Hermione rushed out. "It's fine, Blaise. I was just leaving."

He gave her a look similar to the one her friend had given her earlier, but as quickly as it came, it disappeared. He flashed her a charming smile and ruffled her messy hair. "Happy Christmas."

She huffed in annoyance and brushed his hand off. "Yeah, yeah. Happy Christmas to you too."

He just laughed and she stood in the fireplace ready to head back to the burrow. Before she dropped the powder she gave them both a sly look. "Good luck!" She called and then she was gone.

* * *

Ron leaned against the doorframe of Hermione's room. He was just coming up to check on her before heading to bed, but he stopped when he heard Hermione say Malfoy's name. She was sitting on the bed muttering to herself, arms cradling stomach lovingly. Besides the few times he'd seen her touch it when the baby moved, he hadn't seen her interact with it at all. It was bittersweet really. She looked good like that, silhouetted in the moonlight and talking sweetly to the life inside of her. As much as she'd said about her reservations and fears regarding her baby, she sure looked maternal.

He found a smile tugging on his lips. She was going to be a great mother.

He cleared his throat. "Oh, Ron!" Hermione dropped her hands from her stomach. "I'm sorry. I didn't hear you come in."

"It's ok. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. We didn't see much of you today and you were quiet when you came back from Luna's."

"I'm fine." She gave him a weak smile. "Just a lot on my mind."

He walked around the bed to sit beside her. "I know you may not believe me when I say this right now, but you can always talk to me, Hermione. No matter what we're friends first. You're my _best_ friend and I want you to know how sorry I am for all the pain I caused you."

She looked over at him and shook her head. "It's…Ron it's fin-"

"No, it really isn't and I know I've apologized before but I mean it. I don't want you to think you have to avoid me. I don't want that. I want us to be ok."

"We _are_ ok." She insisted. "I mean….if you can get past…"She looked down at her stomach. "If you can get past the decisions I've made then we're fine."

He hadn't felt this close to her in so long, it felt almost foreign to him. What could he say to let her know he was ok with this. That he wasn't angry about the baby anymore. "Hermione." He spoke quietly and lifted his hand, letting it hover in the air between them, a few inches above her bump. "Can I?"

Her eyes widened but she nodded. "Sure. You probably can't feel it on the outside yet…but…"

He let his hand drop gently. It was odd really. Even though he couldn't feel it, he knew it was in there. It was…"Amazing."

"I know." She agreed. "It still gets to me. When I wake up, when I feel them move it's like I'm living in a dream."

"You know how I feel about Malfoy," He whispered. "But I'm happy for you."

He heard a sniffle and he looked up to see her wiping a tear away with her hand. "Thank you. That honestly means a lot. I ….you were…Thank you."

He took his hand off of her stomach. "You don't have to thank me." He laughed. "But if there's anything I can do, I'll do it. Just say the word."

"I'm fine. A lot better now that we've talked to be honest."

He smiled and kissed the top of her head before rising. "Happy Christmas, Hermione." He said quietly.

She smiled up at him. "Happy Christmas, Ron."

* * *

Draco had spent the day with his mother and a tense dinner with his father before he retreated to his room. He was on edge, wondering, worrying, hoping that everything would work out. He waited all night to feel the tug of recognition indicating that she'd received his gift. It never came.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I know that I keep saying that this is the last chapter, but it has gotten away from me and I felt like I needed to add a lot of things I was originally going to skip. So, this is NOT the last chapter. I'm so sorry for getting your hopes up! Or should I be? That just means you get one extra chapter right? Anyway I hope you liked the chapter and I promise 29 will be the last one!
> 
> Also, if you ever want to know where I'm at in my writing, you can always follow me on my url is on my profile page. :)


	29. Happy New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter! It's taken awhile but we are finally here. Now, without further ado...

 

The snow fell silently outside the Auror Office, going unnoticed by the three wizards working feverishly inside. There had been no leads regarding the missing death eaters for at least two months, so when Brice had received a tip-off on one Dalton Rosier they wasted no time gathering intel in order to bring them in. The young man ran back and forth between his superiors, doing whatever it was they needed him to do, whether it was retrieving coffee or contacting the other Auror's so they'd be ready when the time came to move. Last few weeks they'd been focusing all of their time and energy in finding the culprits behind the muggle killings. Brice welcomed this change in pace. He felt like they were actually getting somewhere now.

"Do you think Rosier will lead us to Nott?" Nathan asked from behind a pile of papers. "If anyone was going to cause problems it would most likely be him."

The older man shrugged his shoulders as he turned around in his chair. "Who knows? If I were them I'd make sure no one knew of my location. The fewer people that are aware, the less likely they are to get caught. If they aren't hiding together, that is. We can't cross off that possibility." He scratched at the scruff of his three-day unshaven face. "I'd rather go in overprepared than "

"You'd think," Nathan muttered, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. "But I have a feeling they're in contact with somebody. Maybe not other members, but family perhaps?"

"We questioned all their associates when they disappeared. Their assets were frozen and their families were under surveillance for the first couple of months. If they are in contact with them, it would have had to happen recently."

"Well, maybe that's why were are just now getting intel on some of their whereabouts. They may be getting comfortable. Comfortable enough to make mistakes."

"You're probably right." He hissed in annoyance. "Damnit. There's too much going on. We don't have the manpower to do anything about it right now."

"You're here to lessen the load but even with your expertise and gumption, you are still only one man."

"That is the sweetest thing I think you've ever said to me." He replied with a grin. "And here I thought I was here for my pretty face."

"Shut up, Nathan. We leave within the hour." He said and then addressed Brice. "Make sure you're both ready."

His boss just sat back in his chair, sighing loudly as he cracked his neck and gazed across the room flashing a charming smile. "Yessir!"

The mocking was obvious but it went ignored as they all finished their individual tasks. As they worked he wondered if they would ever truly get along. Auror Scott emitted an authoritative vibe but he had a slight softness about him at times that made him a bit more approachable. Detective Dearborn was a bit of a hard ass for trainees and co-workers alike, speaking sternly and getting straight to the point, so most people were put off by his bluntness, but he was charismatic when he needed to be. Oh, was he charismatic. He shook his head. The two of them together created quite the atmosphere. He'd never complain about the work, but he did think it would be a bit of a relief when the new recruits joined them.

* * *

**Friday, December 25, 1998, Chr** is **tmas Day**

Draco awoke to the sound of his mother's gentle rapping on his door. "Are you going to sleep all day, darling?"

He groaned and shoved his head under his pillow. He was in no mood to leave his bed. He'd waited up until the sky changed from the dark purple of night into the soft red hue of dawn in hopes he'd feel something, anything from the ring on his finger. Blaise, that all knowing git, had been right. She hadn't put it on. He groaned again. Salazar, he'd be _insufferable_ now.

"Draco?" Again she called to him, a little louder that time. The door creaked open and she stepped into the room.

"Do I have to, Mother? Can't I sleep another ten minutes?" He asked, cringing a bit when he realized how childish he sounded.

A light chuckle sounded close to his bed. "I suppose I could come back, but I have a feeling you'd just kick me out again."

He gave up and tore the pillow off of his head. "I wouldn't."

"Where you up all night again?" She looked serious as she stared at him. "Drinking?"

"No," he brushed off her worried words. "Nothing like that. I've just had a lot on my mind." Like infuriating pretty brown haired girls that lived to distract him.

She nodded her head in understanding and stepped away from him. "Just come down to breakfast as soon as you can. Your father is expecting you.

"Wonderful."

* * *

At the burrow, Harry kissed Ginny gently before sitting up in bed. "Ready to face the day?" He asked her quietly.

She sighed and looked up at him. "No, not really. I know everyone is going to be putting on brave faces but…."

"It's hard."

She nodded and sat up. "He's supposed to be here. He's supposed to be getting scolded by mum for pulling yet another Christmas prank with George. He's supposed to be giving Hermione a hard time about her baby's father, because you know he would have. He's supposed to here." Harry could hear the sobs she was suppressing, but she swallowed them down. "Fake smiles, Harry. That's all today is going to be."

"Sometimes that's all we can give, Gin." He replied, hugging her to his chest. "This Christmas will be hard for everyone. We just have to remember that we have each other."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me." He smiled sadly. "But we do need to get ready before your mother gives _us_ a scolding."

"We wouldn't want that would we?"

"No," He agreed, "No, we wouldn't.

* * *

The morning had started out a bit on the somber side but that was to be expected. George was quiet as they lit a candle for Fred and recalled their fondest memories of him. Molly didn't make it through hers and had disappeared into her bedroom for an hour before she had emerged. But once she did, the atmosphere had changed and everyone put on their best smiles.

So while the morning had been rough, the early afternoon was looking up. Brunch with the Weasley's was a wild affair of food, chaos and gift exchanges. Hermione had wanted to be away from the chaos the night before, but she was finding herself happy and content to be in the middle of the sea of red hair and holiday spirit. Luna had arrived just as everyone was digging in and Hermione noticed a slight blush on her face when their eyes met.

_Interesting_ , she thought. _Very interesting_. Luna greeted her and the rest of the clan before immediately sitting down next to George, striking up a conversation about some creature Hermione had never heard of. She thought George would be slightly annoyed but when she watched his face for a reaction, she was surprised to see relief. Perhaps a chat about whimsical creatures was exactly what he needed.

She sipped her tea and ate her food quietly, watching from her spot in the corner. Harry had joined her as a fellow outsider who still wasn't used to the hustle and bustle of life at the burrow. But as the day wore on she found her mind drifting to thoughts of Draco and the gift he'd given her that was now stashed in her nightstand. He really knew how to ruin a mood.

Happy Christmas indeed.

* * *

**Sunday, December 27, 1998**

After the holidays Draco found that he could no longer ignore his father. The anger in his chest had ebbed to a small smolder and he seemed to be clearer headed when they spoke. It had to be now before he let that anger and uncertainty back in. He needed to agree to Bastien's terms and to do that he had to be civil with Lucius. His father seemed fairly pleased with himself when his son had informed him that he'd been spending his days mauling over his decision and had decided that he was open to the idea of joining the cause, whatever that may be.

He just hoped that stepping into the dragon's den wouldn't end up with him burnt too bad.

**Monday, 28, 1998**

"Brilliant!" Exclaimed Hermione suddenly. They were both sitting in the blonde's kitchen drinking tea, waiting for Blaise to arrive to take them to the opera when the idea struck her. "I know how I'm going to tell everyone."

Luna set the teacup down and cocked her head to the side. "What are you thinking?"

She bit her lip but then met her friend's eyes. "This may sound a bit crazy, and maybe a tad counterproductive with the whole laying low thing, but I feel like it needs to be me. This pregnancy is going be revealed to the public no matter what, so I'm going to make sure it comes out on _my_ terms."

"How will you accomplish that? Are you planning on doing an interview with a journalist?"

"No," She replied with a smirk. "I'm going to meet you at the Starling Café for lunch and if it just so happens to be at the same time that Rita Skeeter meets with one of her lunch dates then….."

"She'll write a gossip column in the Prophet about it." Luna's eyes brightened. "Then everyone will know before we get back to Hogwarts, people won't be suspicious, and if she makes up a good enough lie you won't even have to answer many questions. That is honestly brilliant, Hermione."

"It seems I haven't lost my touch after all."

They heard the telltale signs of Blaise's arrival and rose from the table and met him in the living room. After sizing them up and whistling he grinned, "Looks like I'm one lucky man tonight."

"And why is that?" Hermione asked with a smile.

"Because I have the pleasure of escorting two of the most beautiful ladies I've ever seen to the show."

Luna gave him a peck on the cheek and Hermione laughed. "Yes, well as lovely as one can be while looking like they swallowed a small cauldron, anyway."

Blaise sided up next to her and offered her his arm. "Haven't you ever heard of that illustrious pregnancy glow?"

"Can't say that I have, but I'll take your word for it." She said, but she felt a happiness stir in her chest that she hadn't felt in a long time as they arrived at their destination. Being with Blaise and Luna seemed put Hermione at ease. There was no intense history weighing their friendship down. It was new, fresh, and at first, it had been odd spending so much time with Draco's best friend, but he never brought him up and always kept the mood light. He may have been doing it for her benefit, knowing how hard it was for her to think of him, but she had a feeling this was just how Blaise acted. He was laid back and flirtatious, charming in that Slytherin way of his, but she couldn't deny the way he looked when he spoke to Luna. The closest thing she could think of to describe the look in his eyes was amazement. She knew there were feelings here, between the two of them.

Blaise walked forward, each elbow interlocked with the witches. His chest shook with laughter as he spoke and his smiles were genuine. The night played out like a commercial but it was the most real she'd felt in awhile. When she returned to her bed at the burrow that night she knew she'd finally accepted his presence in her life.

Blaise Zabini got the stamp of approval.

* * *

**Wednesday, December 30, 1998**

Hermione was restless. So far she had kept herself busy. If she wasn't with Luna, she was with Harry and Ginny. They'd taken a few trips to muggle London and shopped around. Ginny had squealed in delight when they came upon a shop the day before that sold baby accessories. Hermione had tried to talk her out of buying the baby anything but it was useless. Harry just shrugged in defeat as his girlfriend gathered a few onesies and a pair of gender neutral booties. It was honestly one of the first things they'd done together where they'd actually addressed the fact that someday soon their group would be expanding by one. The baby was becoming more real, and less abstract as the days went on. It was surreal in a way but she found that she enjoyed making these memories with them.

There was also the day that she'd put her parent's house up for sale. Harry was the only one that went with her. It wasn't that she didn't trust Ginny, or Luna, or Ron, but her friendship with Harry was different than her friendship with all of them. Those months on the run and the years of fear and the desire to protect him had cemented their bond. Honestly, it was why she'd been so hurt by his initial rejection when he'd found out about her and Malfoy. There was nothing romantic, it wasn't that, but it was a closeness she couldn't really explain.

When her father had died he'd been the one she'd turned to most. He knew her parents. He knew how much they meant to her. So he went with her as she auctioned off all the furniture she'd grown up sitting on, all the dishes she'd eaten off of, all the clothes that Jean and Alexander Granger would never wear again. She felt like she cried more as she packed up boxes of her mother's trinkets than she had when she'd found out her father had passed and her mother was gone. Harry was quiet when he knew she needed the silence and was ready to hug her when she needed the physical contact. He told her to take her time and they did. They'd stayed two days in fact before they returned to the Burrow. And when she stepped into the familiar doorway, red faced and teary eyed, she'd been greeted with hugs and encouragement from everyone.

She knew how lucky she was that she had these people to fall back on, but knowing it and feeling it were two different things. Going through her house had poked at the wound in her chest and now she felt the hollowness she'd been trying so hard to fill. Nothing matter, and everything mattered.

Her thoughts drifted to Draco and she felt something stir. Without thinking, she ripped open the drawer at her bedside and grabbed the tiny box she hadn't looked at since she put it there. She opened it before she had time to register what it was she was doing. She stared at the pendant where it lay, tucked into the maroon handkerchief. It was too pretty to be hidden away in a box in the bottom of a drawer. She should just wear it. It wouldn't have to mean anything. It didn't matter. It wouldn't mean that he'd won. It wouldn't mean she was still in love with him. It wasn't a declaration of any kind. Luna was right. It was just a necklace.

With shaky hands, she picked it up and held it in front of her. It really was beautiful. She turned and looked into the mirror, fastening it around her neck. It laid heavy on her chest and the moment it touched her skin she felt a warm sense of peace she hadn't felt in a long time. It felt right, wearing the pendant. It looked like it just belonged there like it was meant to be worn on her person, and the emptiness she'd felt since leaving her childhood home had filled ever so slightly.

Draco was reading in bed when he felt it, his ring warming slightly on his finger. He sat up and stared at the ornament as a smile broke across his face.

She was wearing the necklace.

**Thursday, December 31, 1998, New Year's Eve**

Hermione's plan of outing her pregnancy went off without a hitch. She'd gone into the café wearing the tightest shirt she owned and made a show of it, exaggerating her movements as she took off her heavy coat and draped it across her chair. She glanced towards the back and saw a pair of beady, yet bright eyes staring intently at her. Rita.

She'd pretended not to notice and when Luna arrived she'd hugged the witch tightly and let her feel the ever growing bump. They'd had a delightful lunch and made sure the journalist was a witness to it all. By the time the two girls had locked arms and headed back out into the cold the woman in the back had undoubtedly finished her first draft. She felt a bit anxious as it all started to sink in but there was no going back.

Quite possibly tomorrow the whole of Wizarding Britain would know Hermione Granger, war hero, was about to become a mother.

**Later**

Fireworks were lighting up the sky outside of the burrow. Arthur had wanted to use muggle ones so Harry and Hermione had gone with him to Muggle London earlier in the day to purchase some. George and Ron had insisted that they take over after their father had set one off too close to his face, taking his hat clean off of his head and leaving his red hair singed.

Hermione sat at the window of her room watching the blue and white sparkle in front of her. In just a few minutes the new year would be starting. She wondered what it would have in store for her. The baby kicked her roughly then as if reminding her exactly what she had in store, "Yes, yes. I didn't forget you." She said, and patted her stomach lovingly. "I couldn't even if I tried, with all the kicking and rolling around you do."

She heard a cough behind her and she turned to see Ginny entering the room. "Can you believe the year is almost over?"

"Honestly, no. So much has happened." She returned her gaze to the window. "But I am glad to put it behind us. It's been….a difficult one."

Ginny leaned against the dresser. "How are you doing really, Hermione?" She asked, her voice soft enough that Hermione had to turn again to hear her better.

The redhead was looking at her with concern and a bit of understanding. She sighed. "It depends on which issue you are talking about. How am I doing with the baby? Honestly better than I ever expected. I find myself becoming more and more excited about its arrival." Ginny smiled and she continued. "But if you are talking about….my parents, I don't know how I feel. It hits me like a brick to the gut some days, and I hardly feel its others. It is hard because I feel guilty for feeling good, feeling normal when my father is dead and my mother is Merlin knows where."

"They wouldn't want you to feel guilty. They'd want you to be happy."

"I know. That's why I try so hard to think about the positive things. The memories, the times we had. I try to look to the future that I have. But I don't want to forget that pain completely because I don't want to forget them."

"You'll never forget them." Ginny insisted, coming to wrap an arm around her. "They are always with you. Remember that."

"I'm trying, Gin." She said with a small smile.

Both girls were quite for a moment, watching the fireworks exploding outside, but then Ginny spoke again, though she could hear the hesitation in her voice. "What about...Malfoy?"

Her heart lurched but she frowned. "He's the one I should be _trying_ to forget."

"But you can't, can you?"

Hermione looked into her friend's eyes and noted the seriousness in them. It had been awhile since they'd spoken like this. This raw, open, knowing friendship. She could say what she felt. She didn't need to be guarded. "No," She answered finally, casting her eyes down to the necklace on her chest. "I know I should, and I've tried fighting it, but I am struggling. I need to let him go, for his sake and mine, but it is _so hard_. Especially when I know that no matter what happens in the future, we will always have a physical connection. I just…it's going to take time."

The other witch nodded but before she could come up with a response they heard Harry thump up the stairs and call out to them. "If you two don't hurry up you'll miss it."

"I am fairly certain the new year will still come whether or not we're outside to witness it, Harry," Hermione replied with a smile.

"Just…come on!" He sighed and grabbed hold of their hands, leading them out of the room, down the stairs, and out into the back yard.

She noted that it was warm despite the snow that was falling. The white flakes stopped outside of the invisible dome of magic that surrounded the burrow for this occasion. Everyone was laughing, dancing and drinking and the merriment was infectious. She couldn't stop looking around in wonder. It was absolutely beautiful, almost as if they were inside one of the snow globes she had on her shelf as a child.

So captivating.

She'd been so enthralled by the sight that she'd almost missed Harry's excited yell from across the yard. The countdown had begun and she found herself joining in. .

"Five!" Goerge grabbed Angelina to his side.

"Four!" Harry spun Ginny around in a circle.

"Three!" Arthur hollered from the back stoop.

'Two!" Ron nodded in her direction and she smiled back.

"One!" Cheers broke out around her and she found herself fingering the pendant on her neck as she looked skyward. "Happy New Year." She whispered into the night.

* * *

It was cold in the small house when he entered and he started a fire in the hearth with a wave of his wand. He sunk down onto the couch in front of it without even taking off his coat or his shoes, too weary from the amount of magic he'd been dispensing lately to remain standing one more moment. It was taxing but it would all be worth it in the end, he'd decided. Things weren't going as smoothly as he'd hoped but he was sure things would start moving in his favor soon. In a few days' time, his target would be within his reach.

Draco Malfoy.

Slippery bastard. Lucius had assured him that his son was willing to meet but he'd believe it when he saw it. So far, he'd managed to evade Bastien at every turn when he'd been at Hogwarts. But now? Even if he didn't come speak with him, it didn't matter. He'd be right in his lap soon enough. He was honestly surprised and a bit put off with the reluctance the boy had shown at first. He would have thought being a Malfoy he would have been born with the desire for power. Lucius certainly had been, but Lucius was reckless with it. He wasn't patient enough to wait for the results. He wanted them now. Now. Now. Draco, he knew, would be different. He just hadn't thought he would straight up refuse his offer. It wasn't as if it would be the same as when the Dark Lord had tried to take over. This would be painless. Or as painless as it could be. There were always lives lost for the greater good. So, yes, blood would be spilled, but not for the _sake_ of blood being spilled.

That was one place where the Dark Lord fucked up. He'd let his followers do whatever their little black hearts desired. Torture, maim, rape, kill, it hadn't mattered to him. But cruelty and madness couldn't keep him in power long. Depravity would have spread like fyndfire and he would have seen his most loyal subjects ready to stab him in the back for another taste of it. His vision, his plans for the new order of Wizarding Britain hadn't been a bad one in the beginning. But coming back from the dead distorted everything. He'd come back as a shadow and an arrogant one. The politics were thrown out the window and replaced with the desire to cause pain, to cause chaos.

Bastien had thought it immature or at the very least insane. There was so much more they could have done had they taken their time and done so properly. They hadn't needed to soak the ground in the blood of so many wizards and witches. Some strategic murders here and there were all they'd needed. Sure, give some of the dogs a bone every once in a while, but there was no reason for the buffet the Dark Lord offered them. Had he himself taken a part of some of the brutality? Sure. But he hadn't done it out of bloodlust. He'd done it to get into his master's good graces. It was all a part of the game, a part of his strategy. Then he'd had to start over from square one. Though it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. At least this way he didn't have to be the one to stab Voldemort in the back. It would have taken him _years_ to slowly gain the trust and the opportunity to destroy all the dark artifacts keeping him alive. Now he could do things his way, the right way, the way that would leave the least amount of bodies in his wake.

The body count was up too high as it was. Greyback was becoming an issue and the sooner Draco agreed to become his accomplice, the sooner he could get rid of the problematic werewolf. He'd started going out and doing the dirty work himself, to stop the collateral damage and to throw the Auror Office off their trail. The werewolf had become too sloppy and he'd worried that Detective Lee was starting to suspect something, but that would all change soon.

There was a tremble in the wards surrounding the house and he found himself opening his eyes and sitting up. Greyback couldn't disassemble them, so this was someone else. The possibilities of who it was left him pleasantly surprised. He didn't bother rising from the couch yet, but he did twist his body towards the door as it swung open. Dark gloves dusted the snow off of the gray cloak that took up the doorway. His brow raised in surprise as the man stepped into the room, shutting the door soundly behind him. Bastien did move to stand then, taking a few strides towards his visitor. "I see you've finally decided to grace me with your presence. I was starting to wonder if I'd have to go after you myself."

The man tilted his head slightly and when he spoke his voice was calm and collected. "My apologies." He said. "I've been a bit tied up."

Bastien gestured for him to come further into the house and he felt his lips twitch into a smirk. "Indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus ends The Pitfall.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Sequel coming soon.


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